


All those boys lost in time, all those girls with tragic smiles

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves mentioned, Angst, Apocalypse, Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Kidnapping, No Incest, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Protective Siblings, Pseudo-Incest, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Siblings, Slow Burn, Suicide, Time Travel, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Violence, brief major character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:16:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 153,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: She loves him more than he will ever know. He loves her more than he will ever show. Five/Vanya, M for stuff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoa, first story with no OC well expect the OCness of Vanya and Five in this story. Sorry if it sucks. If you want leave a comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, first story with no OC well expect the OCness of Vanya and Five in this story. Sorry if it sucks. If you want leave a comment. The first chapters is NOW Edited by BETA PinkTribeChick.

**17 years ago**

Five woke up to a sudden hunger. Why was he so hungry again? Oh, right, he was too busy over-thinking his formulas and equations for his newest project, so he didn’t eat properly during dinner. He had been playing with the thought of being able to move through time the same way he could through space for a while now. It was thrilling, and he devoted most of his spare time to it. His dad didn’t look too convinced by the whole idea, but it only served to make Five dig deeper into the new challenge.  He was always a bit rebellious with the things he was told it was not possible to accomplish.

He got out of the bed and went to the kitchen. The whole house was quiet so he tried to make as little noise as possible as he made himself a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallows on it. Allison always looked grossed out by his choice of food, but he liked it the most. As he was eating it, he wondered what else he must have missed during the dinner.

Once he was done, he put the plates into the sink. He didn’t want to risk making noise cleaning them up and disturbing someone in the house. By someone, he meant Dad. God forbid he had to listen to one of his lectures again or get punished. It was obvious their dad wasn’t the loving parent type. That much Five had known since he was a kid, but at times he felt like he was more their handler than teacher. Sometimes the boy couldn’t help but feel like they were lab rats, ready to be killed for the right purpose. Superhero bullshit or not.

Five teleported into the hallway near his bedroom after he was done eating. He was about to enter his room when he suddenly heard something and stopped. He turned around, but the hallway was empty as before.  Still, he was sure he heard a noise, like someone had gasped or cried out a bit.

He had listened carefully for a moment to the silence of the night, when he once again heard the noise, coming from Vanya’s room.

He frowned and started to slowly walk toward her room, now hearing the noises clearly. He stopped in front of her room, unsure of what to do. It wasn’t a habit for him to go in one of his siblings’ room. In fact he was pretty sure he had never entered Vanya’s room before.

With his hand on the handle, he debated if it was wise to just barge in. Maybe he could just knock first and -…

“No please!”

He didn’t bother with the handle and just teleported inside. Of course since he wasn’t familiar with her room, he literally crashed into her desk, causing Vanya to let out a startled noise and wake up, looking helplessly around.

“What – no…”

“It’s just me,” he said quickly, swallowing, a bit unsure about what to do now that he actually was in her room. He had heard her struggling, and it sounded like she was in trouble.  But now it was clear she was just having a bad dream, and he...well, he felt a bit uneasy at being in her room.

“You...uh, I think you had a bad dream,” he told her, watching her figure in the darkness of the room. It wasn’t as dark as it usually was, so he could clearly see most of it and her sitting on the bed.

Vanya was still breathing heavily, with one hand pressed against her chest. She looked so panicked, which was an odd, since until now Five mostly saw her looking a bit like a robot. If he hadn’t seen her bleed that one time she fell down the stairs, he would have even thought their dad built her like he did Mom.

“Are you alright?” asked Five, slowly coming closer to her bed.

She shook her head. “I can’t...I can’t stop dreaming about the dark room.”

“What?” he asked, and she looked away.

“It’s nothing. Uh, you can go to bed. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

He felt strange. On one hand, she was giving him a way out if he wanted it, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to. At least not completely. He wasn’t the type to discuss feelings and emotions, but she just looked so shaken up.  It was too much for him for some reason. He didn’t want to see her like this.

“Well...what is it?” he asked, a bit impatient and nervous about what it would mean for her to tell him. If she opened up, he wasn’t sure what would happen. But he felt himself growing anxious about it.

“It’s just...it’s just I’ve been having these dreams about being locked up inside a dark room, with no way out. All alone. Just me,” she said, putting her hands over her eyes.

“Oh,” he said, feeling unsure about what to do about it. “How long?”

Vanya put her hands down. “Since Allison rumoured me to go into the closet, and I had that...panic attack.”

His eyes widened. “That was over a month ago.”

She looked down at her hands. “I know.” He looked at the door and then back at her.

“If you want you can go. I’ll try not to be so loud,” she said, sounding remorseful, as if she was responsible for being quiet when she was having nightmares, so she wouldn’t wake up her siblings.

He frowned down at her. “It’s not that.” He wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t that. He walked up to her. “If you like, I could stay for a bit. Until you fall asleep?”

“It’s okay.  I’ll just stay up by myself,” she said, and shrugged her shoulders.

“You can’t stay up. It’s like three in the morning,” he told her.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

He opened his mouth to ask, when suddenly he remembered something he noticed before, but his brain didn’t consider relevant at the time. Vanya looked tired. She always looked stoic and sad or humble, so it would be easy to miss. But now she looked tired, exhausted even, with dark shadows under her eyes. Had no one really noticed?

“When you wake up from a nightmare, you just stay awake?” he asked as she laid back down.

“It’s nothing. Good night, Five.”  He watched her silently for a moment. Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“What’s the worst part? The dark or being alone?”

She didn’t answer for a moment.  He wondered if she even would, just before he finally heard her reply in a whisper.  “Being alone.”

He didn’t waste time as he walked to her bed. “Move over a bit.”

“What are you doing?” she asked, already starting to shift to let him on the bed.

“I will just lie down with you for a bit. Try to fall asleep with me in the room. Maybe your subconscious will realize you are not alone, and it won’t trigger you and cause a nightmare,” he said, already laying down next to her, taking half of the space.

“Good night,” he told her and closed his eyes. He could tell she was still sitting up looking at him, waiting for him to open his eyes or maybe talk about it.  But that was the last thing he wanted, since he wasn’t sure why he really was doing it in the first place. Maybe he just wanted to be a better a brother. Maybe he hated seeing her like this. Maybe he wasn’t just a selfish smartass. Either way, he felt her lay down eventually, their shoulders touching on the small bed of hers.

It was easier said than done to sleep next to someone for the first time in his life.  When Five closed his eyes, and Vanya laid down, he became all too aware about the fact that she was there with him (or he was with her). It was hard not to notice her breathing or how close their hands were.

“It’s a bit weird,” she mumbled suddenly, and he opened his eyes.

“A little bit, yes.”

She shifted again now, facing him. He saw that her eyes were open, looking into his, but she didn’t say anything else, just snuggled deeper into her pillow. He watched her for a bit, wondering if he shouldn’t close his eyes, too, before her arm suddenly went under his and over his side.

He blinked at her, waiting for her to pull it shyly away like she usually did when she made physical contact with another person without their permission, but from the sound of her rhythmic breathing, it was obvious she had fallen sleep.

Great. How was he supposed to fall asleep with her arm over his side like this?

He sighed a bit before he closed his eyes again. He would just have to figure out a way.

 

* * *

When the painfully loud alarm went off, for a second he thought they had an early morning mission. However when his eyes fully adjusted to the world around, him he realized it was morning, and he had to get ready for breakfast. Vanya, who also shot up with the sound of the dreadful thing, looked just as surprised that they both slept together so soundly in the end.

“G-good morning,” she said nervously, looking away. Her hair was a bit of a mess.

He reached out and tugged her bangs a bit, without permission or second thought, “Good morning. I take it you slept better.”  She smiled but tried to hide it behind her hair like she always did.

“Yes, thank you. I guess you were right. When I knew you were here, I slept okay.” He nodded and let his hand fall to his lap before he groaned, a bit annoyed and stood up.

“We have to get ready.”

She stood up just as he was about to teleport to his room. “Five?”  He looked at her. “Thank you.”  He winked at her before he vanished.

Once inside his room, he didn’t spare a second thought about the night before, and immediately started to run around his room to get dressed, so Monocle wouldn’t have a field day with him.

* * *

The day went, on filled with studies and practice, his personal project, and some quality _family_ time.  Before he knew it, he was heading to bed again.

He stopped by the bathroom when he spotted Vanya brushing her teeth.  He was tempted to ask her if she wanted him to come sit with her tonight, but Luther than came in, asking her to hurry up because he needed to pee.

He left them and went to bed instead.  But something kept causing him to wake up every once in a while, and this time it wasn’t hunger. When it happened again, he just sat up and listened for a moment, half-expecting Klaus and Ben to laugh somewhere, telling him it was a prank or something. They both had a terrible sense of humor when they were together.

A couple of moments had passed before he heard an echo through the hallway. Without a second thought, Five teleported to Vanya’s room, making sure he wouldn’t hit the desk this time. He found her on her bed, only this time she was still asleep, thrashing about and crying out every once in a while like someone was murdering her.

He ran to her side and immediately started to shake her away. “Vanya? Come on, Vanya, wake up!  It’s just a dream!”

She woke up then, grabbing his pajamas, with her eyes wide, “F-five!”

“Hey, it’s just a bad dream. You’re okay,” he told her, and brushed her shoulders a bit where he’d his hands before.  She looked away breathing heavily, sweaty and terrified.

“I-I had the dream again. I was inside the dark room, all alone, and no one came to see me…and you all forgot about me, and I was left there all alone, and -…”

“Hey, hey, what are you saying?” he asked with a desperate chuckle. “Vanya, that would never happen. Don’t be silly. I will always come for you if you are in trouble. We all would.” She let go of his pajama shirt and looked away. He could tell she didn’t believe him, and that made him a bit upset.

“Hey, come on, it’s me. You can trust me,” he told her, and was surprised to find he actually meant it. He had never felt like this before. He had never felt the need to protect her like this, but he had never seen her like this either.

She looked at him for a moment, and something in his face, even in the dark, must have told her it was the truth, because she nodded. “Okay. Will you lay with me a bit? You don’t have to stay until morning. I don’t want you to be late again.”

‘Don’t worry about it. I will just wake up before the alarm. It’s not a problem,’ he told her and brushed her arm one last time before he let her go and they got under the covers.

* * *

**Now**

He hadn’t meant to stay. No…no, he only wanted to soothe her worries by acting like he would stay. He would wait until he heard her go to bed, and then leave. He couldn’t stay. He had eight days to stop the apocalypse and save everyone. He had too much work to do. He couldn’t stay. He couldn’t put her in danger, especially if the Commission came for him again, and they most certainly would.

After she left the room, he could hear her walking around her bathroom. Her steps were still humble and soft, as if even stepping on the wood floor was something she should be grateful to be allowed to do.

_You deserve this. You belong here._

He remembered how annoyed he got whenever she acted like she wasn’t even worthy to breathe the same air as he and his siblings. It was their _dad_ ’s fault. _He_ made her feel like that.

Five had read her book, and seeing how she was today - she was still the same. He found it unsettling, and yet all so very calming.

He laid down for a moment, just listening to her movement, knowing that she was there. He would just wait until Vanya went to bed, and then sneak out. It shouldn’t be a problem. He could also have teleported without making any noise. However when he was building his plan, he failed to think about a few things. Like he hadn’t had a decent sleep since he joined the Commission. Like he hadn’t had a soft bed or couch to sleep on when he had jumped to the future and got stuck there. Like how Vanya’s soft steps were almost rhythmical, calming everything inside his mind for a moment. Yes, he hadn’t considered many things, such as obstacles for his escape plan.

Five closed his eyes, and just thought back to the doughnut shop and the tracking device he had gotten rid of. Maybe he could stay for a moment. One second, he was sure he heard Vanya’s bed crackle with a new weight on it, signaling she finally went to bed.  Then the next he could smell smoke and ash, the distinguishing smell which surrounded him all those years he had been trapped in the post-apocalyptic future.

He gasped, opening his eyes, only to find himself back in that hellhole. Fire and destruction were everywhere, and Five felt like he couldn’t breathe. He started running. He ran past the ruined buildings and loneliness, which hung heavy in the air because he knew he was the last person alive on earth. He rushed to the site of the Academy and found his siblings buried beneath the rubble, just laying there looking like they had died only yesterday or that morning. Only this time there was a fifth body among them. Lifeless and small, Vanya was laying on the ground next to the rest of their siblings, like a broken doll.

He fell to his knees, his shaking hands trying to reach her, to take her into his arms, while crying in agony.

“FIVE!” Her desperate shout woke him up, and he breathed heavily, as his heart felt like it was trying burst out of his chest. His vision cleared, and he realized where he was. Five was still in Vanya’s small, shitty apartment, with her on her knees in front of him as he sat up. He slowly came back to reality, with Vanya’s hands on his cheek and shoulder, as he gripped her shirt and wrist.

“It’s okay,” her voice was as soft as ever, while her face was so worried and alive.

He didn’t know what to do, so he just sat there holding on to her, trying to somehow calm down and not look so pathetic and desperate.

_She’s alive. It’s just a bad dream. She’s alive and here, and your siblings are alive and here. There is no apocalypse. Everyone is alive. You still have eight days. You still have eight days to fix all of this._

When he heard her softly groan, he let her go, realizing he was crushing her wrist, he was holding it so tightly.

“Sorry -…”

She shook her head, and before he could pull away from her completely, she pulled him into a tight embrace. Five wasn’t a hugger. He never was. He was always annoyed when Klaus jumped on him, or Luther tried one of his bear hugs. With Allison and Mom it just felt awkward.  But with Vanya it felt weird only at the beginning. He didn’t know where to put his hands, and he felt something warm and uncomfortable in his stomach. But all in all, after a few moments, it started to fee nice.

Vanya might look different, but when she put her skinny arms around him and pressed her chin against his shoulder, he really did feel thirteen again, actually thirteen. He hugged her close and closed his eyes, knowing that when he opened them again, she would still be in his arms,alive.

“It’s okay. It was just a bad dream,” she mumbled into his ear.  He hid his face against her shoulder, while his heartbeat calmed the fuck down. He chuckled a bit, remembering the times when he had been the one telling her the same thing, then they had been kids, and she had started having nightmares about being locked in small spaces. He had told her she was being silly for being afraid, that he would always make sure she was okay and safe. He was so sure of himself back then, so sure that he would keep his word. Before he got stuck in the future, with no idea how Vanya’s life ended.

He didn’t know how much times passed before they parted, but he couldn’t look into her eyes after. He probably woke her up with his thrashing about and screaming her name, and he knew she had rehearsal in the morning. He needed to leave.

“I’m going to go.” He got up, but she stopped him by blocking his way and putting her hand on his shoulder, then taking it off, hesitating.

“Come get in the bed with me.”

He looked at her, half-expecting her to say that she was joking or thinking she had lost her mind.  But because of the caring and worried look on her face, he knew it was neither of the two.

“Please? It will help. It helped me, remember?”

Of course he remembered. He was the one who had suggested it the first time it had happened. The first time, he had woken her up by accident, and the time after that he was scared when he found her, thrashing about and crying like someone was murdering her.  All because Allison had forced her to get into a small closet.

They had been thirteen, and it had been an accident. She broke a perfume bottle of Allison’s, and the next thing they knew she was screaming and begging the girl to let her out of the closet. When he had gotten to the room, she was already in Klaus’s arms, Mom giving Allison a disappointed look as their dad had come in and told Allison to come with him.

He hadn’t been looking at any of them though. He had been looking at Vanya.  She had looked incredibly fragile, standing there staring at nothing, still crying.

Now he looked up at the woman in front of him and gave her a short nod, not able to say anything at that moment.

She stood up and grabbed the extra pillow and blanket, which had fallen to the ground. She carried them into her bedroom, and he very unsure about following her. He hadn’t even wanted to sleep on her couch, and now there he was in the bedroom.

“You might want to lose the tie and jacket,” she told him, pointing at his neck for good measure.

He removed it, putting the items on her desk chair, still debating whether or not he should just apologize and teleport himself away before she could to stop him.

_Whoa, I’m really a shitty person._

She laid down first, and he drug his feet toward her bed just as she turned on the small desk lamp. He was careful as he laid down, as though he was afraid the bed could break under his weight. He waited for a couple of minutes, as though he was making sure it was okay before he turned to his side, facing her. Somehow he was not surprised to find she was facing him as well.  He could easily see her eyes in the dark.

“I missed you,” she whispered.  Her arm was suddenly under his over his side. It made him want to smile a little bit. Some things never changed. In that very moment in the dark bedroom, with Vanya on the bed next to him, it felt like nothing had changed, like they were still both thirteen, and he was just helping to keep her nightmares at bay.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but once he was positive she was asleep he whispered back,

“I missed you, too, Vanya. All the time.”

* * *

**17 years ago**

Five was almost asleep when he heard his door open and shut quickly.

“You’re getting better at sneaking around,” he said, too exhausted to get up and look at her. Their dad had practically tried to actually kill them today with practice and tests. He had barely made it to his room after he brushed his teeth, half-expecting to just drop on the floor in the hallway.

“Yeah, I had to wait because I thought I heard someone outside my room,” said Vanya as she pulled off her shoes and climbed into the bed to the side closer to the wall. He would have moved over for her, but he was too tired.  So he just remained still as Vanya got under the covers and put her arm under his.

“You were really great today.”

He smiled a bit, “No talking, just sleeping.” When she chuckled, he forced himself to open his eyes just to see if she was smiling.

“Good night, Five.”

“Good night, Vanya.”

They had been sharing the same bed for over a month now. Usually he was the one who came to her room, since it was easier for him to teleport, but on rare occasions she was the one to sneak in. He had gotten so used to her presence, that he couldn’t imagine going back to his empty room again.

After so many mornings of waking up early just to get back to his room before the alarm went off, it had become a routine for him.

He opened his eye, seeing how peaceful his sister looked, and actually felt bad about having to wake her up and get her to her room.  But what was the alternative? He easily pulled her arm from under his and sat up. As he did so, he immediately felt the presence of someone else in the room. Someone was watching them. He spun around, only to find their dad standing in the doorway, looking very angry at them.

“Wake her up, then come see me in my office, Number Five,” he said in the coldest voice he had ever used. Five felt his heart speed up even, because he didn’t want to go. He wasn’t afraid of his dad. He was just usually annoyed and upset with how he acted and how he treated them.  But in that very moment he was afraid. He was very afraid.

“Now, Number Five,” he said.  Five knew he was holding his anger back.

He heard the door opened as his father left the room, and Five looked over at still-sleeping Vanya. After a moment of hesitation, he got out of the bed. What was the point in waking her up when their father had asked only to see him? He would probably yell at her as well later, but for now she could use a few extra minutes of unwittingly blissful sleep.

Smirking to himself, he walked from the room, toward his dad’s wrath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: First of all I would love to thank you all for all the amazing support you showed this story. I was a bit unsure since I know Five and Vanya isn't maybe an obvious paring but for me it really is. I am very happy for all the followers and favourites and review. God, love the reviews. I think I will have a new chapter on Saturday or Sunday latest. Thank you again and I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well.

**17 years ago**

'Number Five, what you and Number Seven did is unacceptable, and I expect better from you. I hope you realize that this was the last time Number Seven ever stepped foot into your room-'

Honestly, Five lost his dad after the first few words. He was only partly listening to him wondering if any of their siblings would notice that the alarm did not go off yet. Luther maybe he was such a follower, but Klaus would probably be grateful for the extra minutes of sleep.

'Number Five, are you even listening?' asked Reginald breaking Five's train of thoughts.

'Barely,' said the boy disinterested and honestly, which he quickly learned was a mistake since his father got all red in the face looking like he would explode very soon. Five knew that apart from all of his children he was the only one who could push their dad's buttons almost resulting in him getting violent. He could tell that he was close a few times to actually hitting him, but ultimately he always managed to get a grip of himself.

Like right now, when he finally took a deep breath, 'Number Five, I know you had been coming to Number Seven's room at night as well. If I ever catch the two of you do so again I will personally make sure you will deeply regret it.'

He rolled his eyes, 'Why? She has nightmares I was just trying to help. There's no harm in it.'

He was half expecting his dad to yell again, but instead he looked almost interested, 'Nightmares?'

Five hesitated for a moment before he said, 'Ever since Allison told to stay in the closet.'

His father frowned at that before he looked down at his notes again, 'Very well, I shall increase the dosage of Number Seven's medication.'

'What? No!' said Five surprising himself as well. They all knew that the reason for Vanya's almost robotic behavior at times were the pills she had to take for her illness. If she took even more what would she become? An empty shell? Would she still be Vanya? Her smiles were so rare now, he could the times he seen one outside of their rooms, both hands. She didn't need more pills. She needed to be happy more.

'Number Five-'

'We didn't do anything wrong. We just slept next to each other. We didn't bother anyone and it didn't ruin any of your stupid tests. It's not a big deal-'

'Enough,' his father looked up at him, 'Number Seven is a very ill girl with very damaged emotional state. You can't even comprehend to consequences would she start getting too emotional,' he looked back at his notes mumbling the last part, 'Sometimes I believe she is more trouble than worth.'

Five never liked the old man. Even when he was a kid and he watched the man come and checkup on them when they were playing with the nannys and then Mom, he always felt this resentment toward him. Now, however, he felt hate. He knew he hated a lot of things like any human being, but compare to what he felt toward the man before him was nothing.

'In fact, I think it would be best if Number Seven no longer interrupted you all in your practices and studies.'

Five froze in place with his mouth open.

'I believe there are many boarding schools in England which would be a much better fit for someone as ordinary as her,' said Reginald and looked down not bothering to consider the state he cause Five to be in.

He felt sick. He felt sick to his stomach as the man's words sunk in. He would send her away. He would send her away to England, away from him like some useless thing he didn't want anymore. He was such an asshole and monster Five wanted to punch him. He felt that if he looked up at him, he would teleported and actually punch him. However, that would not give him what he wanted. That would only cause Vanya to really be shipped out of the house.

Instead he closed his eyes to compose himself before he said through his teeth, 'Don't send her away.'

'What's that now?' asked the man.

Five took a deep breath, 'Please…don't send her away.'

'That's entirely up to you, boy.'

Five felt like growling at him, but instead he begged, 'I won't let her disturb me anymore. I will never go to her room or allow her to come to mine just…please don't send her away.'

The old man looked up, 'Excellent, now send Number Seven here.'

Five rushed into his room where Vanya was standing looking at him confused, 'Five, what-'

'Dad wants to see you,' he said and literally shut the door in the face too consumed by his own emotions to deal with hers in the moment.

He threw himself on the bed still feeling that the spot where Vanya lied was warm. He never wished for anything more than for Sir Reginald Hargreeves to just die.

* * *

**Now**

When Vanya Hargreeves woke up the next morning, it took her five seconds to realize that she wasn't thirteen anymore and what actually happened the previous night. Their dad's funeral, Five's return, and him crashing into her apartment.

The moment she opened her eyes and was met with his calm and sleeping face, Vanya's not quite woken up brain didn't even bother with it, since it was so natural with the two of them. It wasn't until her eyes landed on the nightstand behind him, that Vanya remembered where they really were and what went down.

Five was thirteen again while the rest of them were adults, but none of that was important because he was back. He came back. She had hope when she was a child, that he would. Every time she left those stupid sandwiches out for him, she believed he would show up and things would be the way the used to. She didn't care if they weren't allow to sleep in the same bed anymore. She didn't care that he barely looked at her and in fact looked like he was avoiding her. She would accept it. She would accept all of it, if it meant that she would see him while walking pass his room. She didn't need much more. She just needed to know he was okay.

If she wasn't so numbed by the pills she would have cried because she had been waiting for his for seventeen years to show up, even if she stopped leaving the lights on and the sandwiches. She just...she just knew he would manage.

She very carefully rose he hand from under his making sure not to break his peaceful sleep and very lightly touched his hair. He looked the same as he did that very day he disappeared, but his eyes. When she looked into his bright green eyes she could see that the Five which came back was different, older, more experienced. He didn't speak with her like a thirteen year old. He spoke like an adult. With respect which he hoped to get in return.

_Future, apocalypse, eight days_.

She suddenly felt very guilty. He gave her respect and she dismissed his story like he was the crazy one. Last night she panicked. She was a coward and she was desperate for him not to leave so she said something very mean to him hoping he would stay. When he told her, she wasn't sure, what she believed. Reginald always made sure to pressure Five with how time travelling could damage him, something Vanya feared maybe even more than the locked dark room.

After seeing him having a nightmare like that trembling and calling her name, she wondered. She actually wondered. Could it be that he suffered even worse loneliness than she ever had? Is it possible that he was in a dead world all alone for so long?

She let her fingers touched the smooth skin on his cheek. She prayed it was a lie, an illusion caused by his own mind, but when the portal through which he came to them opened she saw the old man transforming into this Five.

He let out a soft sigh like he was waking up, but instead he snuggled deeper into the pillow. How long it must have been since he lied in a semi-comfy bed?

When she finally got off the bed she made sure to turn off her alarm clock and made breakfast. She didn't really eat breakfast unless it was weekend and she woke up very late so breakfast became lunch, but today she tried. She even made coffee remembering what he said back in the house. He said he was an adult after all.

She had to leave to work, but she left him a note and hoped he wouldn't leave her apartment unlocked if he decided to leave, but really, she hoped he wouldn't decide to leave before she got back. Not that she could ask him to stay.

She tried to finish as fast as possible her practice earning a disapproving look from a few co-workers.

'Where are you off to a date?' joked one of her colleagues, but she ignored him and rushed to the small grocery shop next to her building and then up the stairs to her apartment. She rarely ate breakfast so the little something she managed to put together that morning was literally all she had left. She usually went for lunches on a working day and ate whatever she could find at home. She had a very shitty life-style, she knew that, but it wasn't like she had anyone to try to for, well until now.

The keys fell out of her hands as she tried to unlock the door. She was so nervous with anticipation wondering if he would still be there or not.

She mentally kicked herself and kneeled down to get her keys when the door opened revealing Five looking like he just woke up, 'You're incredibly loud, do you know that? You could never pass for a thief.'

She opened her mouth, but the air got suck out of her upon realizing that he stayed.

_He stayed_.

Vanya grabbed the keys and stood up pushing the corners of her lips into a smile, 'Good Morning.'

He sighed, but didn't look annoyed with her as most of her siblings usually did, before he walked into the apartment. 'I hope you have something eatable in that bag because I'm starting to get concerned with the lack of food inside your kitchen, dear Vanya.'

The followed him inside, 'I made breakfast.'

'Barely,' he said dryly and she smiled some more. It felt like old times. It felt like nothing has changed. It felt good, almost too good. Vanya knew she would get eaten alive by this feeling and then only end up graving it more and grieving after it once Five would decided that she was too annoying and needy to be around and leave, but for now, she couldn't bring herself to care. It was future Vanya's problem.

She started to prepare for dinner while he eat the breakfast in silence his mind probably going through the things he told her last night. Things he needed to do to secure their future.

'Can I say...?' she started unsure of how to finish before she shook her head and turned around, 'I'm sorry if I offended you last night. It's a lot, and I'm not the most brainy person to understand all of this on one try,' she told him honestly hoping he would understand that she meant well.

He looked up at her from his place. He finished his chewing before he answered with the confidence which was just so _him_ , 'If you offended me I wouldn't have stayed. I realize it's hard to get if you weren't there, but you have to trust me...because I don't think I can trust anyone else with this yet.'

She nodded vowing to trust Five from now on and never doubt what he said even if it sounded completely nuts. She hoped it would be enough for the both of them. It felt a bit bizarre to have him in her apartment like that. He was just so _him._ The way he spoke and how he ate and how he at one point found a piece of paper (her insurance of all the things) and started to write equations on it freaking her out because it was her insurance. She accepted the fact that he was here yesterday, but to actually spent time with him felt...it felt so good Vanya never wanted it to end. She never wanted him to leave. She was a terrible needy person which why everyone always left. People wanted to be needed, yes, but they didn't want to be someone's whole world. Vanya always found someone she put everything she could into them only for them to get overwhelm and leave her in the end. Sadly she realized that ever one left her after a while even Five.

He told her he had some things he needed to take care of. She felt a small stab of sadness as she realized he would leave just as she was getting so used to his presence, but nodded trying not to look too bothered by it so he wouldn't be either. She couldn't give all of herself to someone, no one was made to carry that weight.

He put on his jacket just as there was a knock on the door. She sighed and explained that her neighbour sometimes thinks her cat sneaks into Vanya's apartment.

She rushed to the door, but instead of her old neighbour with food stains all over her clothes, there was a thirty something man with a big smile on his face.

'I'm Leonard.'

Vanya blinked confused which made his smile fell a bit, 'I'm your two o clock.'

She immediately started to apologize embarrassed in front of the man and Five that she completely forgot about her students. The man didn't seem too bothered and joked a bit while Vanya explained why she assumed he was her neighbour feeling even more embarrassed after she did it.

She turned around to look at Five who was still buttoning up his jacket even though he had like two buttons looking at the man intensely.

'I see you just finished with another one,' said the man, Leonard, and nodded at Five who still looked at him almost suspiciously.

Vanya looked at Five as well unsure if she should correct the man and explain who Five was when the boy suddenly said, 'Yes, so I will see you next lesson, Ms. Hargreeves.'

She blinked confused even more by this and pointed Leonard to the violin while she went to find her material for class. She completely forgot about today's classes, she had this new guy and Maria a ten year old girl with concentration problems. Fun day.

She was going through her materials not noticing that Leonard reached out for her violin only to be stopped with his arm in the air and Five's hand on his wrist, 'Ms. Hargreeves doesn't like when first timers touch it.'

This puzzled her even more. Yes, she would probably take the instrument from the man's hands but Five behaviour toward him was clearly screaming hostile.

'Uh, so I will see you next time, James?' she asked picking the name of the top of her mind.

Five let go of confused Leonard's wrist and nodded looking into her eyes as if telling her that he would come back or warning her to be careful she wasn't sure since their intern communication a bit rusty after the years apart.

As he left through the door, Vanya couldn't help a quick urge to run after him just to make sure he wouldn't leave her for good again.

'So, can we start?' asked the man smiling at her again and she nodded politely. It went on like most of her lessons with beginners. He was actually nice and joked a bit which left Vanya even more confused why was Five's reaction so bad toward the man. When he told her about his father she felt a strange feeling inside her stomach thinking about her own problematic relationship with her father.

As she walked him out he completely caught her off guard when he asked her if she wanted to go out with him. She wasn't even sure if he was just polite or actually interested but she decline either way not sure what to even do about it in that moment.

She returned to her practise, and then Maria before she found a moment of peace in the book she still had left unfinished. It took a couple of hours but she realized Five wasn't showing up and she had no way of contacting him. It made her feel anxious that once again her brother would disappear on her and she would never see him again. She decided to go look for him in the house, the place of all her childhood traumas which proved to be a fatal mistake after meeting with Allison. She thought Diego hated her but it was obvious most of her family felt the same. Everyone except for Five maybe.

Returning home to her empty apartment was her only choice. As she dragged her feet through the ground, she thought about Allison's worlds.

_Love someone so much it felt like you couldn't breath when you were without them._

Her sister was right. She never was in love like that with a man. The closes she came to it was caring for her siblings, father, mom, Pogo. As she stopped by her door she realized she ever felt close to it when Five left. He was her only companion in the house and with him gone she was all alone. Everyone had someone. Luther and Allison had each other, Diego had Mom, Klaus and Ben had each other and she had Five...until she didn't. With men it was a rollercoaster of trying to please them and putting everything she could on them only for it to backfire and them to leave. When she hit twenty-eight she just came to the conclusion she was too damaged for them. It was impossible to love someone like her, when she couldn't even properly love herself.

She was about to put the key inside when Five opened the door, 'You need better locks. Not the kind which open from the inside.'

She blinked surprised and pleased to see him, 'I thought rapist could climb.'

_He came back._

He rolled his eyes annoyed but she couldn't help a smile. He came back. She felt excited like a little girl, her stomach doing flips, that he was here again.

She slowly walked into her apartment immediately noticing the mannequin on the couch, well upper half of the mannequin.

She tried not to be too weird out as she still felt guilty about how she acted the first time Five opened up and told her about the future. She still wasn't convinced the world was supposed to magically end in eight-well seven days, but she promised herself to try for him.

'Who's your friend?' she asked half joking, but as Five introduced the mannequin as Dolores being very friendly and serious about it. She realized it was no joke.

She walked closer to the mannequin and reached out to take her plastic hand, 'Nice to meet you, Dolores.'

She looked over at Five, 'She's very pretty.'

He watched for a moment his face unreadable before he smirked a bit and looked away. It wasn't his smug _knowitall_ smirk, no it was much softer almost a smile, but not quite as soft as his rare smiles usually were.

'Yeah, she's okay. Dinner?'

She nodded all too happy and they went to each on her couch with Dolores between them. She asked Five about his day getting from time to time lost in his story about the fake eye and doctor and then how he went to pick up Dolores to be able to think better.

'I think better during walks,' she told him nodding that she understood that different things worked for different people.

'Yeah?'

'Yeah, I feel like I can breathe better, feel more too,' she admitted realizing she was referring to her medication.

'Shit,' she put the plate down and hurried to her bag. While worrying about Five and what Allison said to her, she completely forgot about her pills. She took one and swallowed it without water. She was so used to them by now.

Five was watching her intensively, 'Still two a day?'

'Yeah, like dad ordered,' she told him gloomily and went back to the couch to eat.

'Did you ever think about not taking them?'

She shrugged her shoulders, 'Dad, Pogo and Mom always insisted I needed them to function because I was too emotionally unstable. No point in ruining my life more than I already have.'

He didn't comment on it thought. He then asked her about her day and she told him a bit about her work, upcoming concert leaving out the part about her wanting to try out first chair (why bother if she knew she would never get it) and then the first lesson she had with Leonard leaving out the part about him asking her out.

'Oh, I wanted to ask. Did you not like him? You seemed upset about him,' she said as she remembered his weird behaviour.

'I don't know, I didn't notice I was acting strange,' he said and shrugged his shoulders. Vanya shot him a look. He was joking, right?

Five, however, continued to eat as if nothing happened leaving her even more confused. Maybe she just picked the wrong vibe from him. She looked over at him again.

_No, he definitely didn't like him._

When he put down his plate on her coffee table, she caught him hiss a bit in pain.

'What's wrong?' she asked looking at the wrist she helped him fix last night, but this was a different arm and it looked more like it was his shoulder.

'It's nothing,' he said after a second looking composed again, but Vanya already stood up and was in front of him.

'It's just some scratch,' he told her as she took his wrist and started to lift it. He stood up as well pulling away, 'I already took care of it.'

'Show me,' she demanded which surprised the both of them. After a short staring contest he actually put down his jacket and to reveal his already bandaged arm, 'See I took care of it.'

She didn't like the sound of it. First he had a cut wrist, then cut lip and now shoulder.

She crossed her arms, 'Five, what's going on?'

'I told you, I'm trying to stop the apocalypse.'

'You said you went to see the doctor about that prosthetic eye why were you hurt then?' she asked seeing how quickly he was getting annoyed with her questions, 'Look, this isn't important right now.'

She watched him for a moment before she took a deep breath and said, 'I-I just don't want you to get hurt. Do you understand that?'

He sighed, 'Yes, and I won't. Trust me, _this_ ,' he jerked his shoulder, 'Is nothing.'

She wasn't convinced at all, but she let him off the hook for now. They cleaned the dishes together reminding her how while she always helped Mom after every meal, he didn't. He never felt the need to please people the way she did. Well, maybe just to please her. She knew he couldn't possibly be that interested in her music, but he still found the time to listen to her play or talk about it. From all of her family he at least tried, and he understood and liked her book. It made her feel a bit lighter than she had in years when he said he thought it was _ballsy._

'What are you smiling about there?' he asked, but he looked sort of happy as well. This was nice. Being together again was nice and just so _easy_ like putting on a pair of you favourite comfy shoes.

She shrugged her shoulders, 'Just something nice you said to me the other day.'

'Oh? Do tell, I want to know what will earn me a smile like that again,' he said sounding pleased.

She looked over at him, 'You said writing the book was ballsy.'

He chuckled and she couldn't help but feel on top of the world to be the reason to hear that lovely sound again.

After the dishes they went to her bedroom. This time he had a pyjama. They didn't even argue about the couch or him leaving as they got under the covers. In the bed, it was as if Vanya was the same height as him just like they were when they were young.

Her hand immediately found its way over his side and he snuggled into the pillow, their breaths mixing. It was something she didn't realize she missed the most all those years. Him by her side in bed.

Just as she was drifting away to the dreamland she heard Five say, 'Just so you know, dad forced me to avoid you.'

He didn't have to explain which time he was referring to.

'I know, Five.'

* * *

**17 years ago**

Vanya was stunned looking at the shut door Five had disappeared behind. She was positive the sound woke up some of their siblings as she heard Ben's door opened.

'What happened?' he asked sounding tired.

Vanya shook her head and hurried to their Father's office. His monolog was short. He told her that from now one she had to take two pills of her medication. He didn't comment anything about Five or that they were sharing a bed. It seemed almost like a victory, until she realized that really it was the worst punishment yet.

The first day, Five simply didn't look at her or talk to her doing meals before he was off to practice so she didn't think much of it. Surely, Father had to yell at him and didn't want to upset him more. She took the second pill like a good girl that she was forgetting about the world for almost a week. It was like there was a fog inside her mind that she couldn't overcome, making everything feel so slow and calm and dull. She didn't find joy or sadness in anything. Not even the fact that when she passed Five's room to talk to him he told her he was busy and asked her to shut the door. She simply left him alone.

Even her nightmares were no longer a problem because it felt to her like she never slept in the first place or was sleeping all the time. Perhaps it was all just a dream.

She didn't even feel like playing he instrument earning a concerned look from Mom who came to listen to her play like she always did on Saturdays. Luckily, Diego came to cheer her up while Vanya sat on her bed looking out of the window. She sat there the whole night not realizing that she should have gone to bed. Pogo looked pleased that she was the first one to get dressed that day.

Ironically, the first time she finally snapped out of the fog of her medication was when Five stabbed a knife into the table demanding to time-travel, and then he was gone.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Whoa, uh, this is embarrassing, but thank you to all of you for your incredibly positive view of the story and support because holy shit I did not expect people to like it so much and now I am so happy you do and you write reviews, add to favourites, follow and just read the story all together. I hope you liked this chapter as well. It got a bit longer. Anyway, thank you for all your thoughts and support and just everything Oh, uh, next chapter will be up some time next week but I am not sure which day yet. :)

**Now**

Once again Five woke up Vanya was already dressed and taking care of her things before leaving to her rehearsals. He went to bed even sooner than yesterday, but still felt like he overslept. The bed and the fact that if felt like old times was maybe helping him sleep, but in no way was it working in his favor when it came to the apocalypse business.

_Gosh, what was it with waking up so late?_

He had six days to stop the apocalypse. Six! And what he assumed would be his key lead turned out to be all but useless. He needed to give maximum effort to it today and freaking do something about it. He didn't have time to waste.

He walked into the living room stopping in track as he noticed how nicely and comfortable Dolores looked on Vanya's couch with a greenish sweater on top of her blouse. He could tell his silent companion liked it and Vanya through the gesture. Despite how poorly life treated her, Vanya was always a kind soul and good person.

'I thought she looked cold,' said Vanya completely serious as she was putting on a jacket. Five couldn't help but smirk appreciating the sentiment Vanya had for the only companion he had in the post-apocalypse world.

'Thank you. She looks lovely,' he said and nodded at her.

She went to the door before she stopped and turned around as if she remembered something. She then went to a small mug on her bookcase and pulled out a key from it, 'Here. So you don't have to climb like a criminal.' It was a spear key to her apartment.

'I wouldn't climb,' he said looking almost offensive his gaze on the silver key.

She was still holding it out for him, her arm stretched toward him offering the small silver item.

He watched it for the longest of times wondering if maybe her arm wasn't getting soar. He couldn't take his eyes off the little thing in her hand. It made him feel strange. He couldn't explain it, but he felt incredibly nervous for some reason. This was her apartment, her life, her world, and he left her, hurt her by leaving. She didn't have almost any contact with her shitty childhood, that nightmarish house or their superhero complex family, yet here she was giving him a freaking _key_ into her life although he represented everything she left behind, tried to run away from and yet she was giving him a key willingly with a stretched arm. He couldn't decide whether she had glutton for punishment like a masochist ready for more pain, or maybe she looked pass all the pain and just wanted him in her life. He knew he wasn't the worst of his sibling. He supposed he treated her better than the rest of them, but still, he knew he was a prick, but, hey, at least he tried. At least he had to guts to admit who he was and well...try for her.

'You don't...,' she said suddenly hesitated and awkward before she went to pull her hand back taking his silence and the lack of acceptance and rejection which she was all too familiar with over the years. He could see it in her eyes.

He grabbed her wrist with one quick move and took the small key from her still opened palm, 'Thank you, Vanya.' It wasn't as hard to say as he expected even if it pinched him a bit. He wasn't good with word, but with the way Vanya smiled at him looking ridiculously pleased with herself, he couldn't be the worst with them either. Her ridiculous attitude warmed him up inside for some reason and made him feel a tiny hint of nervousness in his stomach he couldn't explain. Weird. Maybe he just wanted to see her happy. It felt good to make someone happy. It felt good to make Vanya happy. She deserved it the most.

She shook her head and went to the door, 'I will see you later?' It was obviously a question.

He nodded, 'Yes.'

'Good,' she said before she left. She really did look...happier? Lighter? Calmer? He couldn't decide but she did look _better_. Better than the almost lifeless shell he saw when he first came back. Better than what their father dearest made of her.

He looked back at the small key in his hand. A key to her apartment as if she already accepted him to live with her there. Well, since most of his siblings didn't normally live in the house either it wouldn't be the worse idea to live with her. It obviously helped him to sleep next to her, his mind probably remembering the times they did it when they were kids, when everything was so much easier.

He gritted his teeth a bit realizing once again how everything would have been different if only he stayed. If only he waiting until he got better at it. Hell, if only he stopped after the first jumped, maybe it was only a year or two after the first one. Anything would be better than what actually happened.

He put the key into his pocket.

No. If he didn't see the future he wouldn't know about the apocalypse and he wouldn't even have a shot to stop it.

Five packed Dolores and got out of the apartment with a disapproving look at the door. Vanya needed to get better locks. He knew she was an experienced adult, but he also knew that when it came to taking care of herself she just lack the ability to do some things. Like buy and eat proper food, her locks, her sleeping habits and letting strangers into her apartment. This all came from the lack she received as a child from their father. They were all messed up from him. A + parenting right there.

His mind then went to the apocalypse and the eye. It wasn't made yet, but there still had to be something he could do about it. He had to figure out who would buy it. It was his only lead at the moment.

As he passed liquor store he realized he hadn't properly drank since he came home. If Dolores wasn't in his backpack, she would surely tell him he drank a lot. She always did. He was about to go in, when he noticed the window right next to it and got a different idea.

After a few hours of following the doctor around, he came to the conclusion that he was hiding something. The man looked too nervous to just be living the life of a modest citizen. Something was going on, and Five was sure he was going to get to the bottom of it.

Currently Five was standing by a phone booth next to his van waited for someone to answer, 'Hello, I would like to leave a message for Ms. Hargreeves.'

'I'm sorry, who?'

He barely held himself not to bark at the woman on the other end of the phone, 'Vanya Hargreeves, violinist.'

'Oh, yes, sorry I didn't hear you properly. What would be the message, please?' at least the woman had enough tact to sound genuinely sorry.

'Tell her to meet me at Crosby's street for lunch,' Five told her simply as he was watched people pass his parked van on the street.

'Of course, may I ask who is calling?'

Five thought about it for a moment before he smirked, 'Her brother, James.'

* * *

**17 years ago**

It has been a month since Five was in his prison with no escape. So far he managed to burry all his siblings, make camp, find Dolores and fail every single time he tried to get back home. Luckily, he was a determinate overconfident prick as Luther often pointed out, so of course, he was not giving up. He was gathering everything together making sure, he would survive and find a way back home. Back to his family.

He buried them not far from the Academy, or what was left off it. During his daily rounds for food, water and anything useful, he always stopped by to visit, pay his respect and promise to find a way to save them.

He knew he just needed to get back home and all would be alright. His mind often drifted back to those two siblings he didn't find, Vanya and Ben. He felt like punching himself every time he thought about Vanya's crushed look realizing he never said goodbye to her. He never even fucking explained what happened and why could they no longer be in the same bed at night. He wondered if maybe she wasn't with their siblings because dad did sent her away. If he wanted to get rid of her so badly and kept her only to control Five, it would made sense.

He felt sick at the thought. He felt sick at the thought that he would find her too. He knew he was tensed every time he found a new body with brown hair. He still carried small irrational hope that maybe Vanya survived all of this. Somewhere, in some underground shelter. Hope was a terrible thing.

He found a library the other day and went to go over the books which we're ruined yet. He took them and in the hours he took to rest he read them getting familiar with the new world he wasn't a part of that ended. Everything felt strange, like he was reading about a different earth and different species. Maybe he was just too young to understand yet.

It was on the third day that he spotted the last three letters of their surname and ordinary on one of the books. He grabbed it with his shaky hands reading and re-reading the title and name over and over again.

_Vanya's book_.

He didn't even bother returning back to his shelter that day or look for more supplies. Instead he sat down right there looking at the cover and the title and her name for what felt like an hour. On the cover was teen Vanya playing the violin. It was almost like yesterday that he would pass her room and see her stand in the smallest room imaginable in the house and play. She would feel his stare and look up smiling ever so slightly and he would wink at her before he would be gone.

He finally turned the book around only to find a grown up Vanya with that slight small smile of hers looking back at him. She looked…she looked so…she was older, but she was _Vanya_.

It was the first time he had cried over the month he had been the post-apocalypse world. He simply pulled the book to his chest and cried like a little kid as if she was there herself being hugged to his chest. Since he came and found Dolores, it was the first time he felt utterly desperate and hopeless as the sudden realization hit him that he had been gone and Vanya grew up without him. He only now realized that all of his siblings grew up and had lives and it was possible that they had new families and real world jobs and lived their lives away from all of the chaos and drama of their dad's house and yet they were all gone now. They were all dead now.

He cried for what felt like more hours before it got dark and he just decided to sleep there on the ground in the dark and cold holding onto the book for dear life since it was the only connection he had left with Vanya.

* * *

**Now**

Stakeouts were officially the most boring events imaginable. He was seriously close to just kidnap the man and torture him because this was proving to be so dull he wanted to scream. He needed to direct his attention to something else. He asked Vanya to come for lunch so what took her so long? He was suspecting that maybe the lady from the concert hall didn't even pass her his message.

_Maybe you could have picked her up. It's quite a walk from the concert hall here,_ said Dolores and he turned around a bit. Her voice was as always almost melodic.

'If I picked her up, I would have to leave and the person who would get the eye could slip,' he explained to her again.

_I like Vanya. She's very nice and sweet like you said._

'Yeah, she's good,' he said eyeing the people passing by.

_You missed her a lot when we were there, do you remember?_

'Of course, I _remember_ I missed her every day,' he said and shook his head feeling like he could smell ash again remembering how he found all of his siblings and then found out what happened to Ben, but not once found any clue about what happened to Vanya.

_You should tell her._

'She knows,' he said suddenly really smelling ash and burned things as he watched some kids play in front of him. He loosened his tie a bit feeling that it was becoming very hot in the stupid van. He needed more air. And then like someone turned on a switch, he could see the ash falling down from the sky now. It was everywhere even in the van.

'No,' he said quietly.

_It's still better to hear it. She told you she missed you a lot of time and-Five are you alright?_

'I-I can't breath,' he barely let out trying to close his eyes and open so the ash would be gone. It wasn't real. It wasn't really there. He wasn't really there, he was here now. The apocalypse didn't happen yet. He still had time. They still had time.

'Dolores, I-I can't,' he shuttered trying to concentrate on something other than the smell of ash.

Dolores was silent now.

He was gritting the wheel tightly trying to focus on his breathing. The last thing he needed now was a panic attack. He had to focus. He needed to calm the fuck down and not smell ash and smoke everywhere or see his dead sibling and ruins and everything. He needed not to see any of it. He needed to calm the hell down. What the fuck was wrong with him anyway? He was with Commission for so long and never once did he have an incident like this? Why now? Why?

Suddenly the door opened and he saw Vanya with the calm look on her face enter, 'You know, if Mom would have picked _James_ for you the day we were getting names, it would have saved us all a lot of trouble. Dad looked like he was going to get a heart attack when you started to argue with him that you didn't want a name.'

She got inside to the passenger seat and immediately looked at his hands on the steering wheel.

She opened her mouth to ask probably to, but seeing that he gripped it even tighter she bit back the question and turned around to look at the rest of the van, 'You took Dolores for a field trip today? Good call, it's very nice today. Quite warm. Maybe the sweater was too much.'

He felt himself relaxing a bit at the sound of her voice just talking pointlessly, but calmly. She was doing it on purpose. He knew she wasn't a chatty person.

He swallowed a bit feeling his breathing returning to normal, 'Yes, as _lovely_ as your apartment is. We needed a change of scenery.'

Vanya shot him a look, 'Well, you try to survive on musician's salary.'

'I suppose daddy dearest wasn't very keen on giving money after the little stun you pulled with the book,' he said letting go of the wheel all together feeling his finger hurt a bit, but the pain was actually welcoming for once grounding him to be sure that he was here with Vanya and not somewhere in the world of misery and loneliness.

'I never took any. He tried a couple of times to offer me some, but I just didn't take it. It wasn't right,' she said and shrugged her shoulders, 'I didn't want it.'

He nodded, 'Wise choice.'

Five gave her a bag with a hamburger inside. She wasn't picky, but he really did not expect her to be. They ate in silence. If she wanted to know what he was doing she didn't ask. She looked like she understood that he would tell her what he could and do what he had to save them. She was the least complicated of all his siblings.

He watched her for a moment before he pulled out a key and handed it to her. For a moment he once again caught the look of disappointment and acceptance like she was used to people rejecting her so often she didn't even have the strength to look sad about it for too long.

However, then she blinked confused at the key seeing that it looked different than the one she gave him and actually took the key from his palm before she chuckled, 'You _changed_ my locks?'

'You needed a better lock,' he told her as a matter of fact, 'People are terrible creatures.'

Vanya gave him a look, 'Like you would know. You lived without them for so long.'

It wasn't meant to hurt him, but it did pinch him a bit. Still, when he looked over at her and saw that smile of hers again, he didn't have it in him to be mean and show her what he felt.

'You changed my locks,' she said again, this time it wasn't a question. Their eyes met and she rolled her eyes at him. It was annoyance and rudeness he wasn't used from her, but enjoyed it all the more as a sign of small rebellions she was capable of, 'You're such a control freak, Five.'

'What? I beg your pardon,' he said but actually smirking, 'It's perfectly reasonable that I want you to live in a safe apartment.'

'You changed my locks that's so dominate and you wear _shorts_ ,' she said and pointed at his uniform as if the thought of a child with short to try to be a man in the house was incredibly stupid and amusing.

'Yeah, well try turning into thirteen. My old suit doesn't exactly fit,' he argued before he turned to look back in front of him.

He could tell she was watching him and smiling. This was the longest he saw her do so since he was back. It was nice. He wanted to look back at her to memorize it, but also felt like he didn't want to see it. He didn't want to ruin it. He was a bit nervous that she would freak out about the locks, but this was manageable. She wasn't upset. Honestly, he didn't really know what possessed him, but when he actually passed the window with keys and locks it just came to him. His mind drifted back to the guy who showed up yesterday.

_Leonard_

Yes, Five would gladly admit he was a very judgmental person. Not in the way that he expected the worst in people, but in a way, that he liked to think he could smell a rat for miles, and this guy just reeked rat. It was the way, he was so overly happy and calm with both of their presence stepping into her apartment with confidence he shouldn't have when he goes into Vanya's apartment, and the way he reached out for _her_ violin without her consent? Unacceptable in Five's mind. He didn't like the guy. He looked and acted nice, but he didn't like him. He wondered if he should bring the man up to Vanya since apparently would come for more lessons which was even weirder. What 30something guy decides to learn violin? Five didn't like the thought of the man being with Vanya, and although it caused him to lose even more time yesterday, he felt better knowing he was hiding in the hallway during their whole lesson waiting for him to leave with her unharmed. He knew it was irrational, but Vanya was his. She was the closes person he had, and he just got her back, he knew she probably survived adult life without a problem before he showed up, but seeing a situation like that made him feel unsettling and it was impossible not to act upon it.

He turned to her and she was still smiling when she said, 'You changed my locks.'

They chuckled at each other just as the door on Vanya side got opened and she got startled by Luther and Klaus looking at them surprised.

'Hi,' said the woman quietly as her brothers looked confused with her being there in the first place.

Five frowned immediately sensing the atmosphere in the van changing with their arrival. It wasn't light and warm anymore, 'What the hell are you two doing here?'

'I should get back to work,' said Vanya suddenly turning to him and Five groaned, 'You don't have to leave just becau-'

'I will see you later. Uh, bye, take care,' she said to her brothers walking away awkwardly just as Luther and Klaus got inside the van.

Five felt grumpy, 'Nobody ask you to come.'

'Well, of course, now that you're back all you need is Vanya as usual,' said Klaus as he started to scavenge through the back of the van.

Five full on frowned at him, 'What the heck are you talking about?'

Klaus grabbed Dolores looking at her with appreciation, 'Like you don't know. Back in the day, the brilliant Number Five was far too good for anyone except our precious pure Vanya. I wondered what went on between the two of you behind closed door. Do kiss and tell please.'

Five through a bottle of water at him, 'Shut up.'

'That's enough. We came to talk,' said Luther in his _I am the leader_ voice and explained the situation with mom.

They bricked with Luther about him coming back to the academy to deal with mom when all of the sudden Klaus let out, 'Did I ever tell you about the time I vaxed my ass with chocolate pudding?'

Maybe from all of his siblings Klaus was the least one he understood. They told him to leave the van.

'Go get Vanya,' he told Luther as he was about to leave the van as well seeing that Five would not come with him.

'What? You want a family meeting? Decision making? She speaks for me. Whatever she says it's what I would go with,' he told him not daring to look at him grateful that Klaus wasn't here to make another comment.

Luther stopped in track probably stunned from his answer, 'Oh, you're serious.'

Five set his jaw and turned to him with before giving him a forced smile, 'Yes, very.'

Luther looked confused, 'Why? She's….she's not…she can't…'

'She's ordinary?' mocked him Five, 'Newsflash, you don't have to be a genius to make a good decision.'

He took in a long breath, 'Also apart from the rest of my family which apparently shares one brain cell and has to take turns to use it. Vanya actually thinks for herself, so whatever it is she has my full trust.'

Luther watched him for a moment looking like he was about to say something before he closed the door loudly and left. Five could only guess if he would actually run after Vanya now or call her.

* * *

**17 years ago**

_You can't go on like this, you know that, right?_ Asked Dolores one afternoon.

'I'm doing fine.'

He heard her let out a sighed he later realized was a universal female noise to signal to the male that he was being an idiot.

_Read the damn book, Five._

He turned around to look at her. He was eating a can of beans for dinner now. It was almost a week since he found Vanya's book and he only carried it around everywhere and looked at her photo in the back. He didn't dare to read it yet. He was terrified. Terrified of what was her life without him.

He was scared their dad ruined her even more than before and he wasn't there to help her, to protect her like he promised he would. He was afraid their siblings were mean to her showing her over and over again that she was ordinary and not a part of the family. And if his darkest thoughts got out, he was afraid that she did break free and found love and happiness while he was rotting here.

_Don't you wish for her to happy life?_

He didn't reply because of course he wished for her to happy a family life. He wished for her to have everything she ever wanted and more because of there was one person in the world who actually deserved it, it was her. He just wished that he was there to see her get it.

_Come on, she would want you to read it._

He picked up the book looking at her photo again. She would want him to read it. He had no doubt in his mind that he would be the first person who she would ask to read it.

He sat down again the can forgotten and opened it. After the first page he closed it for a moment to calm down because the way she wrote it, he could easily picture her on his bed when they were thirteen talking to him about something. He could hear her voice telling him her story through the book and it was hard. It was hard to hear her voice but know she was gone, but he still follow through picking the book again and continuing. Very soon he found himself smiling and actually laughing about it. She was good. She was really good. The story itself was gloomy. No salvation for their little family. No happy ending for Vanya except that she was finally out of the house.

He read it and then re-read it and then just thought about it for hours and hours and hours. He pictured himself leaving with her. Out of the house to the real world. What would he be? Vanya was a musician, no question there, but what about him?

_Maybe a scientist? You're very clever._

He smirked at his companion.

_Or maybe something completely different._

'Yeah, maybe.'

They would have a nice life a good life. Just the two of them if their siblings were not interested, and they would be happy. They would be happy, like those days when they shared a bed together or he listen to her play or she to his ramble about time travelling and everything else. They would be happy again.

* * *

**Now**

Several hours passed after that. It was dark and raining outside and the good doctor was still at work. Someone was quite a workaholic, or maybe screwing the assistant.

Five sighed. It was getting late. He briefly thought about what went down in the house and what happened with mom.

_You should give Vanya a call. Maybe she made dinner. She will be very disappointed if you don't show up_ , said his companion in a motherly tone.

Five sighed, 'It's fine. She knows I have work to do. She will understand.'

_If that is so why do you keep on checking the watch so anxiously? Perhaps worried about how late you are?_

He shot her a look, 'Vanya's a big girl, and this is something I have to do. I-I will make it up to her with like million dinners and lunches after the treat is eliminated. I'll be living with her.'

_Oh._

Five frowned, 'What _oh_? She gave me a key.'

_Nothing, but key usually mean you can come and go. Not that you can stay._

He was about to snap at her, 'What does that suppose-'

The door suddenly opened and a very wet Vanya came inside, 'Good, you're still here.'

He blinked confused noticing the violin case that she put next to her feet.

'Weren't you home yet?'

She shook her head looking in front of her, 'Didn't have time. So how did it go? Any luck with the doc?'

'Nothing yet,' he said and turned to the front as well before he returned his gaze at her, 'What happened in the house?'

'Argumentation as usual and well someone came to the house. Some guys in giant masks,' she said and Five froze in place very before he realized that Vanya was hiding her face from him.

He leaned over to her seat and without a single word grabbed her chin moving her head to face him.

'It's nothing,' she said all too quickly as she must have seen the murderous look in his face.

'You're bleeding.'

'No, it's dried blood,' she argued, which made Five touch the bleeding cut on her forehead earning a shove and hiss from the woman. He showed her his fingers with a small trace of blood to prove his case.

Before she could say it wasn't a big deal which would be so Vanyalike Five teleported to the back of the truck pulling out a first aid kit.

'You're being ridiculous,' said Vanya.

'Ridiculous? I don't think there is anything ridiculous with being worried and angry that you got hurt,' he said and pulled her into the back not with force but firmly so she knew she had to come.

She sat down next to Dolores of course and looked down at her, 'See, control freak.'

_Like I don't know, dear._

'Stop ganging up on me, you two,' he said a bit more harshly seeing how shocked Vanya looked by the outburst. He demanded that she tell him what happened while he took care of the cut and put a patch over it. Before this, Five liked to think of himself as being a very well composed person. He could be very pragmatic, strategic, analytic and very reasonable about situations and how to act or handle them. However, while listening to Vanya's story about how Cha-cha and Hazel came into _his_ house and hurt his siblings he felt only two things, anger and guilt. He was angry that somehow he created enough clues for those two idiots to find him. He was angry that he wasn't even there to properly handle them. And he was even angrier that they had got lucky and hurt Vanya who _he_ sent into the house in his place. He also felt guilty because he sent her there and he wasn't there to protect her and because she got hurt in the first place only because of him. Because of him running away from the Commission, because of him running away to the future.

'I'm sorry,' he said not particularly explaining what for, but Vanya took his hands into her. They were a bit cold from the rain which made him realize she was still in wet clothes. The van did not have a thermostat.

'It's alright. I mean Diego and Allison were also quite angry. I was upset about them being angry too, but now I know it's just because they care. I know you care too,' she told him with such confidence he suddenly felt like the shy one out of the two of them.

He looked at his small hands in hers. The fun thing was that Vanya's hands weren't much bigger than his either. She was the shortest and most petite of all of his siblings.

He moved his palms to be holding her hands as squeezed them, 'I'm so glad you're okay. Well, apart from that,' he said nodding at her forehead.

She gave him a soft smile, 'I'm fine, really.' Yeah, like he could accept that after her freaking out the last two times she saw him with blood. Not to mention he could defend himself just fine, she on the other hand couldn't.

'Please don't take this the wrong way,' he said as he let her hands go and moved to the corner of the van where he dug out a blanket, 'But please do not go to the house anymore,' he put the blanket over her shoulders tucking her a bit, 'Those psychos know where it is and could come back, alright?'

Vanya let out a long sigh but ultimately agreed and gave Five the relieve he so desperately needed in that moment.

'Also are you sure you didn't lose anything there? ID? Wallet? Keys? Something which could help them find where you live?' he asked and Vanya shook her head before she frowned and actually started to browse through her bag and wallet Five already knew what it meant.

'What's missing?'

Vanya looked confused, 'The key, but that doesn't make sense I swear I had it when I left the house I could feel it in my pocket and oh-'

She suddenly nodded to herself and smiled, 'It's fine. I must have left it in Leonard's.'

Five full on frowned feeling that he was growing upset again, the relief forgotten, 'Leonard's?'

'Uh, after I left here I realized I was close to his shop so I decided to stop there. He's my student from the other day-'

'I know who he is,' Five cut her off still not looking okay with the new information.

'So you went with him after you left here and then before you came here again?' he asked very slowly pronouncing each word.

Vanya shot him a weird look. He knew he was being a bit well _crazy_ about the whole things, but for some reason the idea of Vanya being alone with that guy didn't sit right in his stomach. He did not like the man.

'Yes, I….,' she shook her head, 'It's stupid actually.'

'Tell me,' he said and Vanya looked at him, 'He asked me to dinner the other day and I declined since well, I don't know, and today we talked a bit in his shop and after what happened in the house I just decided to tell him that I will go to dinner with him sometimes. '

Five watched her for a moment seeing how she got all nervous talking about it and felt like growling before he smiled, 'My dear Vanya, do you have a concussion?'

She gave him a look, 'Really Five?'

'How many fingers am I holding up?' he asked and raised his hand.

'Four and a thumb,' she said like a smartass and if he wasn't so upset about everything that happened he would find it charming.

'Then why would you want to go anywhere with that man? He's a creep.'

Vanya looked confused, 'Leonard? Why? He was really sweet to me,' she said and sounded a bit hurt that he accused the man of such thing. Five gritted his teeth. He knew the guy was fishy, but he sort of understood that if he was nice to Vanya she wanted to believe he was a good guy. Sort of understood.

'Exactly he looked too nice and he was so pushy in your apartment. People are never so pushy when it comes to being someone else's apartment.'

'Five-'

'No, listen to me. I have a very _bad_ feeling about this man,' said Five, 'I-I would feel better if you did not go on dinner with him. He's not a good guy for anyway.'

Vanya sighed looking resigned, 'Then who is? And how would you know? You haven't seen me in seventeen years. You don't know me, Five. Not when it comes to relationships and what kind of person is good for me.'

Five felt genuinely hurt by the statement. Yes, he knew he wasn't around her growing up, trust him, he knew it better than anyone, but it was not truth that he did not know her.

'That's where you are very wrong. I do know you. I know the girl, who used to practice the violin for five hours straight because she loved it so much, who is now the woman who's a violinist in a concert hall. I know the girl who loves to reread her favorite books from Russian authors like for the tenth time still intrigued and the woman who has every copy of _those_ said books she already read like ten times in her library clearly still reading them. I know the girl who's so nice and pure and sweet and honest and the woman who is all of that as well. I know the girl who was my best friend in the world and the woman who still is. I know the girl who I have been thinking nonstop, every day of for the last forty-five years and the woman I still haven't been able to get out of my mind even when she is right here in front of me.'

He wanted to tell her all of this, he really did, but somehow it all got stuck inside his mouth not being able to let it out for some reason. He felt tongue tied which wasn't something that happened to him a lot.

Instead Five looked away and put his hands into his pockets, 'I'm sorry if I offended you, but I just feel like that weirdo is not a good match for you. I would feel better if you didn't pursue it. I don't see it ending on a positive note.'

Seeing the strange look of defeat in Vanya's eyes hurt him more than if she would to slap him, but if she needed it to open her eyes and see that the guys was not for her, so be it. Still, Five had to look away the pain her eyes too much for him to bear.

She looked away as well pulling the blanket over her shoulder a bit more, 'How long are you going to stay today?'

Five shrugged his shoulders, 'I don't know I'm still waiting-' Just then the doctor finally came out of the building and Five teleported to the front seat and urged Vanya 'Buckle up.'

The girl got to the seat next to him and put on a seatbelt.

They waited parked by his apartment now in silence. Five tried to tell Vanya that she could go home and rest, but he was afraid. He was afraid to let her out of his site feeling that she was still crossed with him for what he said about Leonard. Maybe she didn't look angry or even was, but he knew he crossed a line, which wasn't supposed to be crossed.

'Were you in relationships before?' he asked not sure if it was even his place to do so when he just knocked her down with Leonard like that. Maybe he was just tired from sitting in a van all day

Vanya who was snuggled on the seat beside his looked over at him, 'If you can even call them relationship. I was in three.'

'What happened?' he asked hoping to sound casual like he just wanted to make conversation.

He felt Vanya looking over at him before she said, 'I tried to give them too much and they couldn't handle it. I like try to pressure people too much I guess. That or I just isolate myself from them completely.'

When you live in a house like their childhood home with a man who knocks you down every single moment of your life, your self-esteem isn't great. The fact that Vanya was marked by the cruelty of their father proved to be making her life very hard even now as an adult woman.

He could tell she really did isolate herself from people. No friends, no boyfriends. She was just as alone as she was when they were kids, simply assuming no one cared enough. He could feel it from every page of his book feeling even worst about the fact that she had to face all of that alone. He wished he could say Leonard was a good guy. He wished he could tell her that he thought he was a good man and she should accept his offers, but how could he? He didn't feel okay with it. In fact he felt almost sick to his stomach at the thought that Vanya would be alone with the man.

She sighed, 'I guess that's why I hoped I could spend some time with Leonard? To prove to myself that I didn't? When I was a kid I could blame it on Dad, but if I'm still doing it then it's on me,' she said so sad it caused him to flinch.

'Where did that came from?'

'The other day in the house-'

'Allison or Diego?' asked Five almost feeling like this was something their sibling could have done.

'Allison,' she Vanya and nodded, 'But she has a point.'

'It's not like we can shake all the torture dad put us through. Yours even worse than most of ours,' said Five and reached his hand to touch hers for a moment.

He saw the corner of her lips rose in the smallest smile.

'Yes, but we're adults now. I even went to a psychologist. It still didn't help,' she shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know.'

Five watched her for a moment before he said, 'Well, you never isolated yourself from me. You joke and laugh and share things with me without a problem.'

Vanya leaned her head against the chair to look at him as she spoke, her voice caring fondness he noted she only show so clearly without anxiousness about what he might thing for him. Whenever she was caring to others he could tell she was worried. Worried of rejection and if they would understand her caring. Not with him. With him, she felt honest, brave, herself.

'That's because you're Five. You're you...everything was always easier with you.'

He watched her for a moment their fingers linked while sitting in the dark van parked outside the doctor's house.

He thought back to what Luther said to him today.

'Did I ever...did I ever made you feel bad about yourself? When I was a kid-hell even now, I tent to make people feel like I'm better than them. Did I ever do that to you?'

Vanya smirked a bit. Just a little bit, but Five had to admit it was a pretty damn smirk, 'Luther or Diego?'

He closed his eyes and chuckled, 'Luther.'

'I think you're confident in your skills which isn't something I can really relate to,' she said, 'Maybe even overconfident and a bit of a jerk at times, but you never made me feel like that.'

The smirk turned to a soft smile, the one that warmth his heart when he saw it because despite the age, Vanya's soft smile was still the same. It was still hers. The small smile he saw on the cover of her book, the only thing which made him connected with her in same way.

'In fact it made me feel special that someone like you liked to be around someone like me. It made me feel worthy of something,' she told him and it caused him to feel the strange uneasiness inside his stomach he felt a few times around her now.

He opened his mouth only to close it and the opened it again, 'Same here...uh...because if someone so good and kind thought that I was worth to hang around with, I couldn't be such a huge prick.'

She giggled at that and he felt like his heart stopped. He heard her chuckle and let out very short and quiet laughs which could also pass for chuckles, but this was a full on girly giggle and it was magical.

He felt warm in his face all of the sudden and he let go of her hand. He was probably too hot now. Yeah, that should be it.

His hands returned to the steering wheel and before he turned around he saw the small amusement behind Vanya's brown eyes.

He couldn't help, but feel the nervousness in his stomach again and a bit of embarrassed to act like that over something so trivial as her giggle.

The lights in the doctors windows were out for almost an hour now.

'Let's go home,' he said finally letting his body accept that it was tired. Vanya closed her eyes, 'Okay.'

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Thank you all for the reviews and support. :) It made my day to know you all care for the story so much and support it. I’m thrilled to see what you have to say for this chapter.

**Now**

For the first time since he arrived Five woke up sooner than Vanya. It was the first thing she realized when he started to shake her awake. He was already dressed. The events of last night were returning to her slowly as she was still planning to catch a couple of extra moments of sleep. She got attacked after all and chased out of the house, not to mention Helen said she should consider quitting. She just wanted to stay in bed all day.

Five apparently had different plans.

‘W-what?’ she asked feeling her hair was a mess on top of her head. He eyed it for a moment chuckling a bit before he said, ‘I have to go now.’

‘Okay,’ she said feeling happy that he decided to wake her up to tell her that he was leaving, while also a bit upset that he _woke_ her up to tell her that he was leaving. It would have been sweet, but Vanya knew there was a more pragmatic reason for this.

_Jerk_

Her head fell down on the pillow again, but he shook her shoulder again, ‘No, I want to show you something before we go.’

Vanya looked incredibly unwilling, ‘Really? Now?’

‘Yes, get up.’

After a couple of moments of Five’s intense gaze it was obvious he would not let it go, so she rolled out of the bed feeling like she barely caught any sleep and followed him to the spot near her door.

‘I want to teach you something.’

‘You can’t be serious. It’s like 5 a.m, Five,’ she whined a bit not even mentioning the irony of this which made him roll his eyes, ‘It will be quick. I promise.’

She didn’t look to sure but she nodded anyway. She already had a feeling that just like when they were younger she would follow any of his ideas no matter how crazy it sounded.

He nodded as well before he grabbed her wrist and pulled it closer to him.

‘Try to break free from my hold,’ he told her and she blinked confused for moment before she tried to pull away only to realize how firmly Five was holding her.

‘Are we doing a magic trick or something?’

‘Self-defence.’

‘Five,’ she was ready to give him a lecture when he said smugly as always, ‘Break free from my hold and we don’t have to.’

She watched him in silence before she pulled again and again with zero luck. She didn’t intend to actually wrestle with him so she just decided to give in and humour him, ‘Alright. How do I break free?’

‘Rotate your wrist so your thumb lines up with where my thumb meets my finger and jerk sharply by bending your arm at the elbow,’ he explained patiently. She did as she was told breaking free on the first try although she had a feeling he mostly let her go.

‘Now, it’s key that you don’t get on the ground and in any situation. You have more chance when you ran then try to fight,’ he said before he pointed at his knee, ‘Thrust the sole of your foot toward the knee to incapacitate the attacker. It will buy you time to run, also it hurts like hell.’

‘Can I try it on you?’ she asked teasing and he rolled his eyes, ‘Maybe later.’

When she was a child she was not allowed to train with any of her siblings. Of course, she never needed it since she was obviously ordinary and never went to any mission with her siblings, but it would be nice to be included. Maybe it would even be fun although she was sure that if Five really got into she was sure she would hate it.

She chuckled and he smirked at her, ‘I have to go, but I want you to seriously be careful today. In case of anything please call me. You have my number. Also when are you supposed to see Leonard about the key?’

‘He said he would stop by later and leave it in my mail box,’ she said as she remembered the text she got from him.

Five stopped in track for a moment looking at her before he asked, ‘Did he say what time?’

She shook her head, ‘I’m guessing during lunch time?’

Five watched her for a moment before he said, ‘Alright. I will call you for lunch.’

She smiled at him before she watched him walk out of the door. There was no point in going back to bed. She went to make breakfast only to notice a plate ready for her and coffee.

_The good stuff_.

Since she had to hear out his complains about her shitty coffee. She took a mug and went to eat. Ever since Five came she had been eating a lot healthier. Until then she usually didn’t have time or appetite for food at all. Maybe because of the pills.

She sighed and quickly got away from the table remembering her pills. She went through her bag surprised that she did not find them there. Did she also leave them at Leonard’s? No, he would have mentioned them. Maybe she dropped them in the van, but now that she thought about it the last time she took a pill was yesterday before lunch. It was strange. She decided to go after work for a refill and somehow manage without them for today.

Vanya cleaned the dishes after she was done actually enjoying the breakfast for once and not feeling so tired. As she opened the small door to her wardrobe she went to pick up her shirt when she noticed a light blue blouse she bought about a year ago on an impulse but never actually wore it. She touched the sleeve feeling the softness of the material and after a moment actually picked it up and put it on. She still went with pants and a jacket on top, but she had to admit even a bit that the blouse looked nice on her. Since she was a child and she first started to grow into a woman she never thought of herself as pretty like Allison or Mom were. She was just plain and average so she never had the need to put on fancy clothes or dresses, skirts and makeup. She just didn’t see the reason to.

She was almost out of the apartment when she looked back down at the blouse. It reminded her of how Allison used to ask her to play dress up with her and she would try to do her hair and makeup when she was bored.

Vanya looked at the blouse and almost went back to the apartment to change, but stopped herself. She decided to for once be brave enough for a stupid blouse.

On her way to practice a receptionist, Karen, asked her if she had a good lunch with her brother yesterday. Vanya felt a bit embarrassed as she remembered her talk yesterday with Helen when suddenly Karen came and told her that her brother, _James_ , wanted to have lunch with her to which the other woman asked if he was hot. She smiled at her tightly and hurried to the practice.

Today, she felt much lighter than she did before. Like she got a good night sleep and decent breakfast, maybe she really did need to change her lifestyle to feel better.

The practise came and went before she knew it, and she had time for lunch, but to her disappointment Five didn’t pick up or answer any of her messages which meant he was busy.

She sighed a bit sadder than she intended to be. She knew Five had work, it was enough that he managed to find time when he did.

It started to rain adding to her gloomy mood.

She chuckled at herself humourlessly once again, she gave too much into someone only to get disappointed if they didn’t deliver. Five had more important things to do than go to lunch with her. She went to lunch alone sticking to her new eating schedule and then back to work. Afterwards, she still did not receive any word from Five and she grew a bit worried about him. He could at least write her he was busy or something.

‘Hey, Vanya,’ said a cheerful voice by her side and she looked up to notice Leonard walking close to her, ‘The weather is a bit strange today, isn’t it?’

She greeted him. They chatted a bit as she noticed Helen leaving as well and she raised her hand in a short wave.

The woman gave her a tight smile as she passed them.

‘Who’s she?’ asked Leonard curious maybe noticing the tension.

‘She’s the first chair,’ said Vanya before she realized that didn’t really explain anything to him so she went on and also mentioned the coming up concert. 

‘You should try it,’ he said sounding very optimistic and exciting. She grimaced a bit at his enthusiasm. She never tried to be the first chair because she knew she was never _that_ good. She didn’t need more failures in her life than she already got.

‘Hey, want to grab a bite? I know this place down the street not too far actually,’ he said and Vanya froze a bit. She thought back to her yesterday’s conversation with Five. He asked her not to go out with Leonard. A part of her thought that it was ridiculous. Five couldn’t just waltz in and tell her who she could go out with and who not. Another part of her wasn’t even sure she wanted to go out with him. He looked like a very nice and sweet man and definitely not someone who should get involved with someone as messed up as her. And the last part of her actually wanted to go just to prove herself that she could have a normal relationship for once. Just once.

Ultimately she gave him a sad smile. It wouldn’t be right at all to use him for her own benefit when she could tell she didn’t feel that way about him. She thought he was sweet and talking with him was nice, but she didn’t see him as someone she could fall in love with.

‘I’m sorry. I’m already meeting someone for dinner, but thank you,’ she noticed his smile fall a bit and something flash behind his eyes before he nodded, ‘Of course, sure, maybe next time?’

‘Sure,’ she said and smiled at him politely before she pointed to the direction he came from, ‘I should go.’

‘Right, well, it was nice seeing you.’

‘You too,’ she nodded and went her way feeling a bit down from the whole thing. Maybe she shouldn’t have listened to Five or her depressing feelings and go try it. Five didn’t know the guy. She didn’t know the guy, but she knew he acted nice enough.

She remembered her keys and turned around only to realize that he was gone.

‘Shit,’ she pulled out her phone only to hear someone call her name again and meet with Allison’s tall figure, ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ she said putting her phone away.

Her sister wanted to talk so they went to the nearest bar ordering drinks. That was a first. When she pulled out her key Vanya was confused, ‘Did I really leave it in the house?’ For a second she thought she got crazy or something.

‘No, I came to your apartment and found Leonard there he said he came to return them,’ she explained and Vanya blinked even more confused taking her key and wondering what hell did it mean.

After the third glass of scotch and their discussion of why was Leonard in her apartment Allison suddenly started a new topic, ‘Luther said Five literally told him that you have his vote about mom.’

Vanya couldn’t hide the surprise from her face as this was the first time she was hearing about it, ‘Oh, he didn’t mention that.’

Allison smirked a bit as she looked down at her drink, ‘I noticed his uniforms in your bedroom. He’s staying with you.’ It wasn’t a question.

For some reason it made Vanya feel uncomfortable to discuss Five with her. She felt her cheeks warming up probably from the alcohol and like she had to guard herself again.

She tried to look natural, ‘He showed up after the funeral and it was late so he-’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t say it to make you feel like you needed to apologize or explain it anymore,’ Allison cut her off looking a bit guilty, ‘I just...I wanted to know how you’re handling that he’s back. You two were really close when we were kids.’

Vanya let out an embarrassed chuckle not realizing that everyone knew about it, ‘We were-are just close. With Five it’s always easier to just I don’t know. He never shot me down or... I can’t explain it,’ she admitted, but Allison raised her hand, ‘You don’t have to. I get it. I think I get it better than anyone, sis.’

She looked up at her and probably for the first since Allison started to talk, ‘It’s not like that. We’re siblings.’

‘Adopted.’

‘It’s still wouldn’t be okay,’ said Vanya gave her a look, ‘Isn’t that the reason you and Luther didn’t work out?’

Allison looked down at her glass, ‘There were a lot of reasons why me and him didn’t work out, but I don’t regret it. He made me feel special not just because of my powers, but because of me. He never looked at me like I was something. He just looked at me like I was Allison and I was amazing because of it. No powers or looks or whatever, just me. That’s why I ask about you two. Ever since we you were younger the others could see there was this bubble around you two and no one could come inside.’

If Allison’s words were meant to ease her they only proved to make her even more nervous. She didn’t know how to react to all she was saying. Vanya knew her and Five were close. She felt it, and it was clear the others had to pick up on it, but she never realized that they might thing they were _more._

She shook her head, ‘With Five and I-it was never like that. We care for each other but as siblings. We’re just that close I think we clicked better than the rest of us it happens in normal families, why not in ours?’

‘Because we’re not your average family?’ joked Allison before she waved her hand, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just...I just always wondered I guess. I must have projected some feelings of my own onto you and Five.’

Vanya suddenly felt like she offended Allison in some way. She felt like she was thirteen again craving the attention and love her of her sister.

‘We never spoke about it being anything and there was never anything physical like with you and Luther. We kissed just once-’

‘Wait what?’ asked Allison looking shocked and Vanya felt like slapping herself. She crossed her eyes feeling so ashamed in that moment that she wanted to crawl under the face of earth.

‘It was a long time ago. We were kids and curious it didn’t mean anything,’ she stopped talking and took a deep breath, ‘My point is. We’re not like you two.’

Allison got over her shock and laughed a bit, ‘Okay, no judgement. Still, it’s a bit weird. We’re all adults and he’s still wearing shorts.’

They looked at each other and laughed a bit. It felt good to spent time with Allison. She said that they still had time to have a good relationship. Maybe she was right.

* * *

**17 years ago**

She was in her room practicing the violin. She wasn’t sure what her siblings were doing since she had her door closed and so far no one came to complain or ask her to stop. They used to be very upset with her playing, but now it was as if they didn’t even bothered with that.

It was Brahms’s Violin Sontata No.3 when between the lowering of the sound she heard someone turn a pager and she realized someone else was in the room. Calmed by the music she didn’t panicked or did anything to ruin the melody, just shifted her eyes to her right only to find Five lying on her bed with his notebook writing something down.

This was unusual to say the least.

It was the third time he had ever entered her room. The first two times was when he came to sleep in the bed with her to help her with the nightmares.

She was very surprised by him being there during the day light. No, scratch that she was still surprised by him coming to her two nights in a row.

She played for another couple of minutes finishing the song before she turned around the pages and started another one. She wasn’t really sure what to talk about with Five. When she was younger she thought he hated her. It wasn’t that he did something. He never hurt her or say anything mean to her. He always seemed to jab at their siblings, but it was like she was the only exception. However, he also never really spoke with her. It was like he was ignoring her to the point that she actually believed he hated her. Then he started to talk to her, and one time when they were younger he took her out to the movies without anyone noticing. She started to realize that he was just very reserved person, but that he liked her just fine. At least enough to take her on an adventure and sleep next to her when she had nightmares.

She played the next song and the next until her fingers got soar and she finally decided to rest. She looked over at her bed half expecting Five to be gone, but he was still there only now he moved from his notebook to her wall.

‘Hey!’ she put her violin down and walked to him trying to chase him away without touching him, ‘Don’t do that.’

‘Did you run out of paper?’ she asked a bit frustrated from his lack of respect for her things.

‘I needed more space to see if I was right.’

She sighed annoyed a bit and tried to stop him from writing on her wall more.

‘I liked the third song,’ he said as he stopped writing on her wall and picked his notebook to continue there.

‘Oh, Vivaldi,’ she said and smiled a bit. She liked it as well.

She sat down next to him and watched him continuing to write down what he needed from the wall.

She wanted to ask why he came, why was he here, but she was afraid he would get annoyed and leave. She was always afraid of people leaving her all alone and never come back and she would be left there forgotten in the dark like in her nightmares.

She looked over at him for a moment before she decided to pick Crime and Punishment and read it for like a third time next to him. They sit next to each other with their backs against her wall in comfortable silence even in the silence Vanya found joy because it felt good to know someone was there.

At one point Luther passed her room and stopped in track looking inside, ‘Hey, are you coming downstairs, Five?’

Five didn’t even look up from his notes as he asked, ‘Do you want to go downstairs?’

Vanya didn’t move trying hard not to look too disappointed that Five would leave and that Luther didn’t even ask her when Five rose his head and looked at her. It was just then that she realized that he was actually talking to her.

She shook her head doing her best not to look as embarrassed as she felt and avoided looking at their of them.

‘Suit yourself,’ said Luther and left letting Vanya breath again.

She dared a spear look over to Five who was back to his notes, but she couldn’t help, but feel ridiculously happy about him staying. It felt nice to be included in someone’s space like this. It made her feel good about herself.

She was smiling like an idiot and it was probably stupid but she nudged him a bit after a moment and said without looking at him, ‘Thanks.’

‘What for?’

‘For…just for being…you,’ she shrugged her shoulders the smile still there as she actually started to read the words before her.

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Okay,’ she chuckled a bit feeling his head snap into her direction. She wouldn’t even notice it, but it was so abrupt the bed moved a bit under the movement.

She looked up at him still smiling kindly before she grimaced a bit. Five looked utterly stunned like she just told him something illogical and his brain crashed.

She blinked, ‘What?’

He ducked back to his notes, ‘Nothing. Uh, continue.’

She watched him for a second before she decided it must have been nothing and returned to her book for the third time still in a lighter mood.

* * *

She parted with Allison in front of her apartment and went to go in when her phone rang. Vanya looked oddly at the phone number she didn’t recognize on her screen before she picked it up, ‘H-hello.’

‘...’

_Breathing....Not weird at all._

‘Hellooo?’ she asked again wondering whether she shouldn’t just hung up.

‘V-vanya.’

_Five._

‘Hi, are you okay?’ asked Vanya already feeling that something was wrong from the way he said her name.

She could hear him breath, but no words came out, ‘D-do ever...do you ever wonder about why people pay to go up tall buildings...and then just put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?’

She was at loss of words after that. She turned around several times as if she was expecting him to show up somewhere.

He laughed suddenly in the phone.

Vanya was silent for a moment before she asked, ‘Are you drunk?’

‘No.’

_Yes._

She sighed and tried to push down her smirk, ‘Where are you?’

‘The main library on 4th,’ he said and she nodded to herself, ‘Alright. I will come pick you out, don’t cause trouble. I don’t want to deal with the child protection services.’

She took a cab to the library. Vanya was about to run over most of the floors when she remembered something Five told her before.

_I found it in a library that was still standing._

She nodded to herself and asked the woman at the front desk where they kept the autobiographies. As she took the elevator it was the first time it all hit her. She wasn’t sure if she was just so selfish or it was the pills which she was now lacking, but for the first time since Five came back and told her his quest to stop the apocalypse she _actually_ realized it.

The elevator stopped, but Vanya was left frozen in place.

_I found it in a library that was still standing._

Five was...in the future where everyone and everything was destroyed. In six days in a future which she didn’t know of but was slowly heading toward her world, everything and everyone she knew was gone. Earlier today she thought she still had time to make up for with Allison, but did she really?

‘Miss, are you okay?’ asked an older man smiling at her kindly.

_In six days he will be dead._

Her family will be dead. She will be dead and Five who just jumped in the past to the future will be left alone in that place for ages again.

‘Miss?’

She quickly hurried out of the elevator before nodding at the man gratefully before running to the direction she needed to go. For a brief moment however she stopped by the shelves and touched her chest feeling how quick her heart was beating and how shallow her breathing was.

Vanya closed her eyes trying to calm down knowing she made a huge mistake that she did not taken a pill today.

She shook her head. She needed to calm down. Five was here to stop the apocalypse if there was anyone, who could do it it was him. He had leads and he was a professional. He would make it work. He might look like the thirteen year old who ran out of the house, but he wasn’t. He was an adult. At least she thought he was...

With her belief in him unshaken she managed to calm down enough to start walking checking for him.

When she finally found Five lying in front of one of the shelves with Dolores and an empty bottle by his side, she finally felt herself calming down completely. Apocalypse or not as long as Five was here, she could deal with it...for now.

‘Oh Five,’ she walked closer to him before she kneeled down. He reeked of alcohol.

Very gently she put her hands on his cheeks, ‘Five? Five can you hear me?’

He lazily opened his eyes before he smiled at her, ‘You’re here.’

‘Yes, you called me. I think we should go.’

He shook his head and pulled her by the sleeve of her jacket closer, ‘How come....,’ his hands were suddenly in her hair pulling it apart to loosely fall on her shoulders as he played with it a bit, ‘how come you don’t wear your hair down anymore?’

His tongue slipped a couple of times as he asked, but she heard him clearly. She chuckled, ‘Why?’

‘You look prettier with your hair’s down, Vanya,’ he said and closed his eyes.

‘Cute, I will keep that in mind,’ she looked around making sure no one would see them, ‘Do you have the keys to your van?’

‘I ditched it,’ he mumbled and she sighed a bit, but tried to continue thinking positively, sort of.

She had to call a cab now again.

‘I like the blouse. It’s a good colour for you,’ he said and nodded at it, his eyes opened again. Vanya raised her brows, ‘Whoa, drunk Five has a sense of fashion. Good to know,’ she looked over his face. He was drunk, but he also looked very relax and calm. She wondered what was his blurry drunk mind thinking about now when he was looking at her so nicely. He even had a soft smile on his face.

After a moment it felt weird. She felt the same embarrassment she did earlier today talking with Allison and she quickly shook her head.

‘Alright, let’s go,’ she said and tried to pull him up, but he stopped her by grabbing her jacket and blouse underneath pulling her back down toward him with their foreheads pressing against each other now. It was a miracle he didn’t headbutt her in the process.

Vanya let herself be pulled and watched Five as he kept his eyes closed. The smell of alcohol even stronger when he spoke, ‘You know, when I close my eyes. I feel like I’m thirteen again, I mean. It feels like we’re thirteen again. It’s easy to forget about everything and just pretend that we are, you know?’

She grimaced, ‘I doubt you smelled like a sailor at thirteen, Five.’

‘Just-just try it. Just...try to close your eyes and forget about everything. Do you remember how it was like when it was just us in that house with millions of ideas about what we could do when we get out. When we would be free,’ he said, his eyes still close. It was strange to see his face this close. She slept next to him for days now, and when she was younger, but there still was some space between them. Now there was none.

She closed her eyes trying to ignore the fact that they were in the library and anyone could see them.

‘It’s nice,’ he said and she could hear the smile in his voice even if her eyes were closed, ‘Yes, it feels nice.’

She let her hand gently touch his shoulder and for a moment it really was easy to pretend and forget that she wasn’t thirteen anymore.

She felt Five’s hand suddenly move to her hair again as he was playing with it again. Now she remembered that when they were younger he would sometimes take it and look at the pieces while telling her something on hers bed. He must have liked her hair.

He shifted a bit and she felt the corner of his lips against hers as he probably wanted to kiss her cheek. Everything about him, his hands, skin, and lips were so soft, so young. He was still in his younger self’s body after all. It felt nice.

‘Fiv-,’ she was cut off as he turned his head and she without a doubt felt his lips touched hers in a small chaste kiss.

She let out a startled noise and opened her eyes standing up quickly, ‘Five!’

She covered her mouth and looked around before she looked back at him her heart beating like a drum. Luckily no one saw it.

Vanya looked down at Five, but with how he didn’t even move or open his eyes it was obvious he fell asleep.

_Wonderful_.

She tried to calm herself by pressing her hand against her chest, reminding herself that no one saw it and Five was just drunk probably not even know what he was doing. She didn’t have time to analyze all of it now since she had to find a way to get him home.

‘Ah have you no shame?’ asked a woman suddenly as Vanya bend down to fix a bottle which got knocked over when she jumped away from Five.

Vanya blinked, but tried to ignore her.

‘What kind of mother lets her child get drunk like this in a library of all the places?’ asked the woman.

Vanya finally looked over at her. She reminded her of her old landlady which used to bang on her door every time she tried to practice because she didn’t consider the violin to be a proper music instrument.

‘Have you no shame? This is a despicable act. Such indecency-’

‘Okay, that’s enough,’ she told the woman surprising both of them, ‘You don’t get to tell me another word. Who-who are you even? Just leave us alone, we’re going,’ said Vanya a bit shaken that she had managed to tell the woman to back off. It wasn’t like the woman was wrong. Vanya did look like some mom who let her son get drunk, but damn, it hit her hard for some reason.

She turned around from her and kneeled down to Five, ‘Can you stand?’

The noise he let out couldn’t be decoded so Vanya just hoped for the best as she put his arm over her shoulder and with all her strength tried to push him up from the ground. Thirteen year old or not. Drunk Five was heavy.

She looked down at Dolores and with a sigh went to pick her up when she heard.

‘The fuck is going on here?’

Her eyes widened as she caught Diego and Luther looking at her confused.

She opened her mouth to answer not entire sure what to say when Five suddenly gain consciousness enough to say, ‘Oh look a family reunion.’

As much as Vanya did not want to talk with her brothers right now, it was good that they came because she couldn’t actually imagine how it would have looked if she dragged Five down along with Dolores. She was pretty sure in his drunk state Five was heavy as hell.

She followed them down toward what appeared to be Diego’s car. She heard them talk but neither of them even ask her what she was doing there or what happened.

_Typical. You were never included._

It was raining again, and it seemed like it was getting worse each minute which passed by.

‘Alright, where do you think you’re going?’ asked Diego suddenly blocking her way.

‘Diego-,’ started Luther, but he just shook his head, ‘No, what, Five was with her and what he goes and gets drunk? You’re bad influence for him. Besides we have bigger issues here. The assholes who broke into the house? They were looking for him,’ he said and pointed at Five who was seemingly passed out in Luther’s arms.

‘You have no business with this. Go home, Vanya. Stop getting in our way and finally accept that you don’t belong with us!’

Vanya was torn. Torn between wanting to leave because Diego’s harsh words reminded her so much of how dad acted with her, and stay because of Five. She felt something inside of her grown. It was like it was spreading and spreading inside her until it would ultimately explode. She wasn’t entire sure if she would start screaming back at him or just cry, but the rain which was now literally turning into a storm was not helping.

Before she actually felt herself let out whatever was inside her Five appeared in front of her in a blink of an eye and punched Diego into the face.

‘Holy-,’ let out Luther who realized Five had teleported from his arms.

Five stumbled a bit backwards only to be caught by Vanya who was still shocked from what just happened. He easily put his hand around her for balance and frowned at Diego growling, ‘Don’t ever talk to her like _that_ again.’

He said it without a single mistake and if he wasn’t leaning so much against Vanya, she wouldn’t even know he was drunk.

Diego got up looking shocked by Five’s behaviour. Vanya felt genuinely worried that he would try to punch him back and it would end with a fight.

‘I’m not going anywhere without her,’ said Five and shifted burying his face against her shoulder so now she stood there awkwardly under the gaze of Luther and Diego with Five being...well like _this_. Right now she actually regretted even more not taking a pill because it would help her to feel less embarrassed and like she wanted to go under a rock.

Just then Five leaned away from her body and puked near her and she barely managed to hold him up and not fall down right into the mess he made.

‘Jesus,’ she mumbled.

‘You know what? Fine, do whatever the fuck you two want!’ he snapped at them and started to walk away. Vanya was half expecting Luther to do the same, but he remained still just looking at them before he took a step closer, ‘I will help you with him, you can carry the doll-’

‘Dolores,’ she corrected him without thinking and shrugged her shoulders, ‘Her name is Dolores.’

He nodded and went to take Five back into his arms lifting him up like a child. Vanya easily lifted Dolores and they went to her apartment. The storm ended just as quickly as it started.

She felt a bit weird as he she let the two well three into her apartment. With Five and Dolores she was comfortable enough, maybe even with Allison after three drink, but Luther? The favourite son? If their father was even capable of favouritism. Dad’s most trusted and dedicated follower? Not in the slightest.

‘Where do you want him-?’

‘You can put him to the bedroom. It’s fine,’ she said cursing herself as she felt her voice shaking. She always felt so uneasy around her sibling anyone who wasn’t Five made her feel so small, fragile and weak. All those things their father always said about her.

‘Alright,’ he said and walked her to the bedroom. She was glad she put the flowers Leonard left her to the living room behind the bookcase so they weren’t so easy on the eye for some reason. She still found them a bit weird, but it felt too mean to just throw them out.

Luther sat Five down easily and undid his shoes before he put a blanket on top of him. Despite many reasons he wasn’t Vanya’s favourite person, she could tell he cared deeply for his brothers and sister. She wasn’t sure if for her as well, but if he at least cared for Five it was enough.

When he finally came out of her bedroom, she once again felt the strange uneasiness she had around most of her siblings caused by her father who never missed an opportunity to tell her she did not belong, and was not one of them.

‘He said some pretty strange things on the way here,’ started Luther looking as out of place as she felt in her apartment.

_None of her siblings came to visit her in almost twelve years, but in three days three of them showed up._

It was true what he said. As they walked home, Five did ramble a lot about the apocalypse although Vanya assumed Luther did not believe him and thought it was just drunk man talk.

‘Yeah.’

‘Did he tell you something about it too? Something about those people who came into the house? Did you tell him?’ he asked changing his state to an interrogation.

She shrugged her shoulders, ‘He said bad things were about to happen and that he had to stop them. He was upset about what happened in the house, but he didn’t say those guys came after _him_.’

‘Well, they did and it wasn’t the first time either. He was there the first time in the Doughnut shop during the shooting. I’m sure you heard of it,’ he said and she realized that she did in passing.

‘He didn’t say anything about that. I think he likes it here because he doesn’t have to. He just comes here to rest,’ she said and actually believed that _that_ was the case.

‘I think for him it’s more about the company than place,’ said Luther and looked at her strangely again and she felt embarrassed for some reason.

_Why was everyone implying something today?_

She shook her head. Maybe he just meant it in a harmless way.

‘If you want,’ she started and pointed at the couch, ‘You can stay until he sobers up and ask him yourself.’

Luther looked at the couch a bit suspiciously maybe wondering if he wouldn’t break it until he surprised her with asking, ‘Where will you sleep?’

If she wasn’t feeling like dying from embarrassment before now she definitely was as she realized that it didn’t even occur to her that she was sleeping in bed with Five or that it was weird.

She tried desperately to look casual as she shrugged her shoulders, ‘I will just sleep next to Five. We’re both small so we fit.’

She mentally hit her forehead.

_Why did that sound so weird?_

Again, that strange look which made her so ashamed for some reason. When it was just her and Five she didn’t even spear a thought about it. It was so natural for them to be together, and close, but with others. She was realizing more and more than it really wasn’t normal to have a relationship like this with him. It made her feel worse than before.

Luther sat down on the couch which let out a loud crack. She wondered if it was the best idea to offer him to stay, ‘You used to do that when you were younger too.’

It took Vanya a moment to realize that he was talking about her and Five’s sleeping arrangements.

‘You-you knew?’ she asked almost startled as if their father was still alive and could punish them for sleeping together in one bed.

He suddenly hesitated, ‘Y-yeah, I saw you sneaking into his room once.’

Vanya nodded feeling her cheeks hot again, ‘I used to have nightmares and Five helped me sleep them off.’

Luther nodded, ‘You don’t have to explain anything to me.’

She almost argued that she did since he was giving her _that_ look and making her feel like the guilty one, but she pushed it away. The pills really affected her moods.

Vanya decided to just go to bed and not deal with this anymore.

She gave him a tight smile, ‘I’m going to bed. You can stay if you want. I will bring some pillow and blanket.’

‘Oh, you don’t have to. I will be fine,’ he assured her and she nodded at him ready to leave before he stopped her, ‘Do you...do you sometimes wonder how would it all end if Five never left? If he just didn’t jump to the future and stayed. If he...if he stayed,’ he said and Vanya froze on the spot for a couple of moments. Those sort of thoughts used to haunt her as a child every night since Five disappeared.

‘I used to, but...at some point I accepted that he did and right now, I’m just glad he’s back. Thirteen year old or not, he’s Five and he’s back,’ she said and nodded at her brother knowing that he didn’t mean just Five.

She was definitely breaking some sister girl code, but for some reason she was feeling different that day. Maybe it was the new healthy life style or lack of pills she still didn’t refill, but Vanya found herself saying, ‘Hey, for the record. If you find the courage to accept...all of it, she’s still waiting for you. You still have a chance.’

As Luther’s face was the one to grow red, Vanya pushed away a smirk and went to the bedroom closing the door silently before she went to change and get ready for bed. She felt almost like she was vibrating with everything that happened that day until it all came back down to the apocalypse. The end of the world which was according to Five in a couple of days, and since she doubted his drinking was because of a celebration she felt even worst about it. Still, here behind closed doors with just Five and her without the shameful looks of Luther or hints from Allison she felt like she could finally breath again.

‘You’re shaken,’ mumbled Five after a few minutes that she was in the bed not sure if he wasn’t still asleep.

She sighed realizing she probably woke him up, ‘I’m sorry.’

He moved closer to her this time it was his hand around hers, ‘Did he tell you something upsetting?’

She leaned closer as well feeling his still alcoholic breath on her face. It was disgusting, but in that moment, she didn’t mind it all that much. She was just glad Five was near her, close to her.

‘The world ends in five days,’ she said feeling the air being sucked out of her for a moment as she let out those words for the first time to the real world.

She basically cling herself to him not caring if he smelled like alcohol, or that he was soaked and puked not long ago. She just pressed herself as close as possible tangling her limps with his and trying not to think about how much the world look like without a single person in it.

‘I won’t let it,’ he said as he reached over and brushed a tear she didn’t even know she let out. They could hear that it started to rain again.

‘I-I know, but...I just didn’t...I didn’t actually realize it until today that...that-’

‘It’s alright. I figured. Maybe it was better. Now you’re all shaken. I’m sorry,’ he said sounding genuine, and she shook her head before she pressed their foreheads together.

He was right, when she closed her eyes it was easy to pretend to still be thirteen and life full of possibilities and chances that were just waiting for them to take.

‘I promise to stop it, Vanya, Whatever it takes,’ he said the words scared her right to her core because she had no idea what _whatever_ would be, and she prayed that she would never find out.

* * *

**17 years ago**

When she was done playing for the time, and packed her violin neatly into the case, she hopped a bit on the bed and lied down beside him with their feet facing opposite cardinal directions. He was writing into that notebook of his again.

‘Hey, what are you working on anyway?’ she asked quietly while looking at her ceiling. She had a new crack there she didn’t notice before. It kind of reminded her squirrel without an ear.

‘I didn’t tell you?’ he sounded confused.

She looked over at him, seeing him upside down was kind of funny, ‘No.’

‘Oh, I want to time travel,’ he said it so calmly and casually like he was just announcing her that he would like some tea.

‘What?’ she asked surprised and he turned his face to look at her as well, ‘I’m working on equations for time travelling.’

‘You want to time travel?’ she asked.

‘I think there’s an echo in here,’ he mumbled which earned him a pinch into the shoulder, ‘Vanya.’

‘But...where do you want to go? _When_ do you want to go?’ she asked and he shrugged his shoulders, ‘I guess anywhere but here? I don’t know yet. I don’t even know how yet exactly. Dad is being an asshole about it. He won’t let me practice or help me what so ever so it’s taking forever.’

Five wasn’t one to whine like a little child, but in that moment he sure sounded like he did.

Vanya watched his face, ‘Will you come back?’

He blinked looking very confused, ‘Back? You mean here?’

‘Y-yeah.’

He chuckled and smirked, upside down it should have looked like he was sad, but with his eyes showing clear amusement it was impossible to think Five was sad, ‘Of course, I will come back. This is my house, my home.’

He leaned forward and touched a piece of her hair pulling it a bit between his fingers, ‘Don’t worry, I would never leave you behind. If I go somewhere, I will come back.’

She dared herself to smile without the benefit of her hair hiding it, ‘Good. Because I will be waiting.’

_I will always come back._

_I will always be waiting._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Thank you all for all the support you have been showing this pair and story. I look forward to every time I can find out what you think. I decided to post this chapter earlier. I am not sure when will be the next one. Hopefully before Friday. I am glad you all love this story so much and I can't wait he read what you have to say about this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy

**Now**

Once again Five woke up earlier than Vanya that day. Although he wished he could be put at ease by her presence after the events of last night it seemed very unlikely. He felt everything coming back down on him. They were fucked. He felt a bit sick from last night's drinking and briefly remembered that he puked. His throat was soar.

He closed his eyes again and snuggled against the woman, burying himself into her collar bone. He just wanted a few moments before he would have to figure out what to do. His last lead got blown up literally and now he was left with no clue whatsoever about how to stop the apocalypse which was four days away.

At least with his face against Vanya's shoulder he could try and forget about it and just for a moment not be haunted by all of it. Just for one small moment.

He felt her shift a bit but ultimately she just leaned closer to him her chin on the top of his head as if she was seeking his warm as well. It felt nice to be held like this in a bed with someone who cared for you, he realized. He got lost in the moment. He was sure he would doze off soon again, and actually didn't find it as the worst idea. Just for a moment to not have to think about all of this. Before he knew it, however, he found himself kissing Vanya's shoulder or more likely the pajama shirt she was wearing.

He made a grimace wondering what the hell he was doing, when suddenly he opened his eyes and froze remembering exactly what happened last night.

He…oh…

_He kissed Vanya._

He laid so still he felt that even asleep Vanya had to notice his tension because she pressed her face against his hair as if in comfort. Always quick to give him comfort even when he couldn't ask for it.

He was an idiot. How could he do that? How? How does one even…? Kiss his…? How could he just kiss her like that? He remembered the feeling. It was nice to have their faces pressed against each other and he remembered thinking Vanya was the sweetest and most caring person he ever knew. At some point he wanted to kiss her on the cheek and he did and then he…he kissed her on the lips and then what? Then there were pieces again. He remembered Diego being an ass and he punched him and then he was in Vanya's bed and they were talking, but he couldn't remember about what.

He was a mess.

He got out of the bed making sure not to wake her up trying not to feel like the worst person under the sun. He was such an asshole. He kissed her and she literally jumped away from him. That much he remembered.

He momentarily stopped in front of the doorway. He lost his last lead which meant he would have to do something he almost hoped he wouldn't. It was ridiculous he killed so many people before and done things he could never take back or wash his hands from, but he still...he still carried this hope that maybe...

He looked at Vanya. He wondered if it was her who was making him so soft.

He teleported back to her side of the bed. In a quick moment he leaned down and kissed her cheek before he tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders so she wouldn't be cold.

'I'll be back,' he said mentally slapping himself because _he_ didn't know that. He had no idea what exactly he would do now, but he couldn't just lay around with her waiting for the apocalypse to happen. He just couldn't.

As Five got out of the room making sure not to disturb Vanya he spotted Luther on the couch sitting still momentarily startled by Five's presence.

'Did you stay the night?' he asked frowning. Seriously, his siblings were unbelievable. They pushed Vanya away and then come to her home? What the hell?

Luther explained how Vanya told him he could stay after he carried Five. Of course, Vanya let the idiot stay...she was _Vanya_.

He rolled his eyes and motioned for him to come with him so they would disturb her. She had a rough night thanks to him, she deserved her sleep.

'Come on,' he urged his brother to leave as the door to the bedroom sudden opened and Vanya walked out, 'You're leaving.'

She said it as an accusation and Five really felt like he let her down, 'I-I didn't want to wake you up.'

She crossed her arms, and he heard Luther, the traitor, chuckle.

'You're leaving without telling me?' she asked looking upset and hurt. It was rare for her to voice what she was really feeling. Usually she just went with everything accepting the rejection of others.

He raised his hands frustrated from her sudden outburst and shook his head before Luther spoke, 'Can we just talk about what you said last night? The end of the world and how we're all screwed?'

Five looked to him and then returned his gaze to Vanya who raised her brows. It was clear she wanted him to let Luther in on it, so he gave in and told him everything filling out some things not even Vanya knew yet.

Luther looked shaken by all of this while Vanya was basically screaming the question at him, 'I never found you. You weren't there and neither was Ben, but then I found out from the book that he was...gone long before that,' he spoke and Vanya nodded shortly before she asked, 'Did you find yourself? Your own body?'

He shook his head quickly.

'Does that mean you already changed the timeline?' she asked, that pesky hope hinted in her voice.

'In some ways, but we cannot be sure if it was enough or not. I have to find out who-'

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door which caused Vanya to jump a bit and Five to immediately teleport in front of her just as Luther stood up.

'Go hide into the bedroom,' said Five pushing her toward the direction of it just as they heard Diego's voice.

'Damn it, open the door!'

Vanya went around Five but he beat her to it opening the door for their brother only for him to slam it into him and barging in, 'You piece of shit!'

He got in his face punching him without a warning. Well, he supposed he deserved that for last night.

'Stop it!' cried out Vanya as she and Luther tried to reach them.

Five pushed Diego away from him feeling the pain from his nose shot through him, 'The hell?'

'Do you have any idea what you did?' he asked looking as furious as ever. Five remembered that he punched him yesterday after he was rude to Vanya, but this wasn't some revenge. This was fresh and directed toward him.

'What the hell is this about?' asked Luther looking at Diego trying to sort of shield Five from him. He wanted to point out that he didn't need anyone's protection, but Diego started to talk.

He spilled beans about Griddy's connecting everything which happened including the attack at the Academy back to him.

'It is my concern, now. They just killed my friend,' said Diego with hurt behind his eyes and Five felt a small stab of guilt for whatever happened.

Luther looked at them, 'Who are they Five?'

He looked over to Vanya who was still just silently watching all this waiting for him to speak. He left that part even from her. He wished he wouldn't have to tell her, but he couldn't hide it any longer.

He swallowed a bit as he said, 'They work for my previous employer. A woman...called the Handler. She must have sent them to stop me. Then, soon as Diego's friend got in their way, well fair game,' he knowing he sounded heartless.

He looked over at Vanya who was still just silently looking at all of them. He felt the urge to explain himself to her. To explain what was happening, to let her out of all the people understand. He wanted to make her understand what he had to do to get back here.

'Well, now they're my fair game,' cut in Diego to the silent staring contest before he went for the door.

He tried to spot him, 'They've killed people far more dangerous than you.'

But Diego was already out of the door. The three remaining people were awkwardly and unsure what to say staring at each other before Vanya suddenly clapped her hands, 'I will make coffee.'

Luther opened his mouth a bid dumbfounded before he nodded, 'Black with milk and two sugars would be great.'

Vanya nodded at him and then looked at Five. Despite all his secret worries she didn't look disgusted. Instead the most amazing person he knew shot him a small smile as if silently telling him she would make him coffee too already knowing how he liked it. She always knew how he liked things.

He felt ashamed. He felt utterly ashamed as he realized just how much of a good and accepting person Vanya was while he...he was a monster. A killer for hire by the Commission, who took every last bit of humanity and consciousness he had left and ripped it away from him.

They sat down behind the table to drink the coffee which was when Vanya finally spoke to him directly, 'You killed people too? When you worked for the...the Handler lady?'

He looked up at her and nodded shortly. He wished Luther wasn't in the room. He wasn't good with words, but he felt that if it was just the two of them he would tell her, he would explain it all to her, and make her understand. He knew she would understand, or he prayed she would because she thought him to be a monster, a killer, there was no hope for him at all, and he wouldn't even want it.

'But you had a code, right?' asked Luther and he really wished he didn't.

'I killed who had to be killed to secure the timeline,' he said knowing that it made him sound even more like the cold-hearted bastard that he knew he was.

'Yeah, but not innocent people-,' started Luther, but Vanya cut in, 'It's okay. Let's not push it too much.'

She looked at Five with that calm and understanding expression which always eased him up no matter how worked out he got about something. He once again felt grateful toward her.

She offered him a quick touch, brushing his wrist for a moment, her finger caressing his tattoo. It was all the assurance he needed.

'So what do we do now?' she asked looking from one to another, 'The eyes is a dead end, but there has to be something we-something which can be done. Anything.'

Hope was never Vanya's strong suit and neither was Five's but in the face of almost certain death of everything they knew, it was at least something to hold onto. Even if it was a cruel and terrible thing to begin with. Hope could destroy you, ruin and break you so hard you could never be fixed. That was at least what hoped did to him every time he dared himself to allow it.

But when he looked at her...

When he saw how she was desperate for it, for anything really to save her, to save them, to save the world, he couldn't help himself but got consumed by it again.

'Vanya,' he found himself saying her name.

'Yes?'

'Play me a Vivaldi,' he told her earning a surprised look from both her and Luther which made him smirk at them.

* * *

**17 years ago**

Number Five found out a very long time that he was different than his siblings. He knew that in reality all of them were different, but there was something which separated him even more from them. He was bright. He knew all his siblings were clever in their own way and some smarter than the others, but they were never on the same level as he was. He sensed it from the way they never seemed to get drown in their own thoughts. Sometimes it was incredibly hard to concentrate on the formulas and equations running wildly in his brain, not even making any sense to him. Sometimes it literally felt like his brain was broken and he couldn't think straight and was left just trying to find some way out of his mind.

Then he heard it.

_Vanya was playing again._

It wasn't anything out of the ordinary. It was the time of the day for her practice. She played every day ever since their father gave her the violin. Probably the only thing he ever let her have. It was her constant companion in the house when they were away and sadly even when they were home.

The reason it caught his interest was because it immediately brought him back from the chaos of his thoughts. It wasn't all that surprising. He read that classical music had good effects on the brain.

Without a second thought to lose, he teleported himself into her bedroom right on top of her bed. He had spent two nights inside her room, so he was a bit more familiar with the layouts.

Vanya didn't even seem to notice him as she continued to play, so he pulled his notebook out of his pocket and started to write down his equations before he would lose them again. His mind subconsciously listen to the music taking in which parts he liked and which parts not while his brain worked on his time travelling project.

He didn't even realize he was writing on her wall to be completely honest until Vanya didn't jump in front of him and tried to chase him away.

'Don't do that,' she said her voice a bit shaken. Despite that she was upset, he liked the change. Passive, obedient and quiet Vanya was not fun compare to wild and alive and loud one. Although that was something she only dared herself to be around him from the looks of it.

'Did you run out of paper?' she asked a bit frustrated. He glanced at her feeling oddly intrigued by her behavior. He wondered why was it that if others were like this he would be annoyed but with her he was intrigued.

'I needed more space to see if I was right,' he said as a matter of fact.

She sighed annoyed a bit and tried to stop him from writing on her wall again.

'I liked the third song,' he said as he stopped writing on it and picked his notebook to continue there.

'Oh, Vivaldi,' she said. He could hear the smile in her voice and when he looked up sure enough there it was playing softly on her lips lightening up her whole face.

He returned to his notes briefly getting lost again. He almost asked her to play for him again, but didn't, feeling oddly embarrassed to have such a request for her. He also assumed that if she stopped then she did not wish to play anymore for now.

'Hey, are you coming downstairs, Five?' he suddenly heard Number One ask him. He knew he only asked him and immediately felt upset about it. Ever since they were little their father always pushed the idea into their heads that Vanya was different than them. She couldn't train, or study with them which ultimately lead to them dismissing her from all the activities they did together. It was just the way they were thought to act around her their whole life. He understood that. He himself acted like that more often than not, until he started to sleep with her in the bed, but it wasn't right and the others should know this as well.

Even if he would rather stay here with her in the quiet of her room, Five asked her without raising his head, 'Do you want to go downstairs?'

When no answer came, he rose his head and looked over at her. She blinked surprised, probably only now realizing that he was talking about her and embarrassedly shook her head before lowering it to her book.

Luther left, and he returned to his notes, until he felt her nudge him, 'Thanks.'

'What for?'

'For…just for being…you,' she said hesitating.

'I don't know what you mean,' he told her hoping it sounded as nonchalant as possible while he felt his ears burning up for some reason.

'Okay,' she chuckled suddenly and his head snap into her direction. It was so abrupt it shook the whole bed.

She looked up at him still smiling kindly before she grimaced a bit. Five was…well he was utterly stunned because of that sound. That chuckle was just so…so…

_Gosh, that was so adorable_

He couldn't even handle it, and he did not understand what was happening.

Vanya blinked, 'What?'

He ducked back to his notes trying to hid his embarrassment feeling his stomach flipping in an nervous way, 'Nothing. Uh, continue.'

* * *

**Now**

It was the first time he heard Vanya play since he got back, but he immediately felt that it was different. Over the years she have gotten better which was understandable since she was working in the concert hall, but he also spotted something which was lacking in her previous performances. There was emotion and passion. Before her melody was always flawless, and beautiful, but now comparing it…

It was like it was chained when she was kid, now however, it was free and breathtakingly beautiful. For a moment, it even caused him to lose focus on his notes before he returned to them. Vanya's wall now looked very much like his own covered in numbers and equations which only made sense to him.

His brother asked for results and Vanya stopped playing, but he wasn't finished yet and told them both what he got earning a dreadful silence.

'F-five,' he heard Vanya say and he turned around for the first time seeing the look on her face. He said something wrong.

'You can't just kill innocent people,' said Luther dramatically while Vanya watched him. Her face wasn't disappointed or sad, but it was hard to read her now. He was always so sure he could tell what was going on in her head, but now he had nothing.

'It doesn't matter. These people would still be dead if the apocalypse happened just like the rest of us,' he told Luther and got down from Vanya's kitchen table only now remembering he got up to reach the higher parts of the wall.

'This could actually cause alteration to the time to prevent it,' he spoke seeing that his siblings were not following.

Vanya took a step closer. He hoped she wasn't planning to smoother him and act like he was a child.

'You said that not even the fact that you're here now could change anything. So are you sure killing these people would?'

He bit the inside of his cheek, 'It's the best chance right now.'

'We don't just kill innocent folks on the street, alright?'

Luther started to be his usual difficult self while Vanya remained silent. It was always a bricking contest with Number One who always assumed he knew everything because he used to be the leader.

'Alright, stop,' said Vanya suddenly and rose her hands, 'Is there really _no_ other way. Nothing just killing some gardener and cook? _This_ will stop the apocalypse?' she asked.

He could never fool her. He could outsmart anyone, but not her. She knew her better than anyone, even with the years apart. She could see him. Just like he could see her.

'Maybe…'

'Maybe what?' asked Luther and he looked back at him, 'Maybe there is another way, but it's almost impossible.'

He looked at Vanya who shrugged her shoulders, 'As impossible as you teleporting? Or time traveling twice?'

_Oh, Vanya._

From all his siblings, it always felt like she was the only one who could read him when no one else could.

He looked away at Dolores.

_Tell them! You have to tell them everything!_

'Maybe there is one other way. But…I don't know…'

_I don't want to do that! I don't want to leave you!_

He didn't say it though instead he started to work on another, different plan.

* * *

They were silent in the car as they drove. After he figured out that Klaus stole Hazel and Cha-Cha's suitcase, he constructed a plan which would either save the human race or kill them all before they had time to stop the apocalypse.

As he drove, he noticed Vanya was looking at him through the mirror. He could only imagine what was going through her mind as she now knew he used to be a killer. She didn't look at him like she was ashamed or upset with him. She looked actually a bit curious, yet sad. Did she feel betrayed by the fact that he didn't tell her about the Commission sooner? Did she see him differently now that she knew? Did she want to talk about last night?

_No, no, don't think about that. You don't have time to think about that!_

So many questions and with Luther in the car with them there was little time to actually talk. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't enjoy it. That he didn't enjoy killing people and watching how they die. He just...he just did what he had to do to survive, to come back and be with her-them...

'Your hair is down today,' said Five catching the blush on Vanya's face in the mirror as he drove her and Luther in one of their father's cars. The old man would have a field day if he could see them all now in his car.

'Uh, just...something I decided to try again,' she said and nodded looking very flushed for some reason.

'It's nice,' he said before he could stop himself. He looked over at Luther, but his brother, on the passenger's seat seemed to be lost in his own thoughts too much to care.

She gave him a small smile as he stopped in front of the concert hall.

She looked over at it. For a moment he thought she would ask him to take her with them. For a moment he could see the defiance. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to beg, and demand that she would go with them. For a moment he could see that she wanted to rebel against every _damn_ time she was told she couldn't do something or go somewhere, or wasn't enough or important enough.

It was right there, in her eyes and if she let it out he didn't know what would he have done because a part of him really _really_ did not want to leave her just yet...

Instead, however, he saw her close her eyes and accept the fact that she was told far too many times that she couldn't.

He turned around toward her and wished that Luther wasn't in the car with them for like the millionth time that day, 'I will come back.'

She made a grimace, but nodded shortly before she reached her hand and touched his shoulder, 'I'll be waiting.'

As Vanya opened the door, Five had this unbelievable urge to stop her, to tell her to come with them, or just to take her into his arms and hold her for a second feeling like he didn't touch or held her enough times since he got back.

'V-vanya,' he found himself saying as she said her goodbyes to Luther.

She looked over at him.

'Good luck...good luck with the first chair,' he said and she nodded, 'I will do my best.'

'You better. I don't accept seconds best you know,' he said his heart beating like a drum as he wanted to say something else. Anything else. Something more, but he didn't.

She smirked, 'I know.'

When she closed the door, Five immediately started the car not trusting himself if he stayed there longer.

It wasn't until he was a block away when Luther spoke, 'Did you...did you talk about what you're going to do if we stop the apocalypse-'

'I can't deal with this right now,' said Five firmly and Luther for once allowed him his small peace not arguing about it.

Five's eyes remained on the road to their rendezvous point with Hazel and Cha Cha. He couldn't get distracted anymore. He had to focus on the task. He had to stop the apocalypse. He just had to. Whatever it would take.

* * *

**17 years ago**

Five didn't cry a lot. Their father saw crying as weakness. Something to be avoided at all cost. The rest of his siblings who often cried because of hard practices and training always tried to hid it, but all of them could see that they were crying or just cried. He didn't usually think about how they cried more often than him because it simply wasn't something one usually thought of.

However, when he brought his idea of time travelling once again to his father, the man basically ruined him right there on the spot like he was some little kid and not a superhero who stopped armed robberies and kidnappers and did tones of grownup things. He ripped him a new one so brutally it caused everyone to stay still and in complete silence from shock or fear.

Five felt so ashamed and humiliated like never before during the course of his thirteen year old life. It took all his mind to pushed it all down not daring to say one word as he was afraid he would start crying right there on the spot.

'Permission to leave?'

'Granted,' almost barked the old man.

He could sense his brothers' and sisters' eyes on him as he went each step felt like it went on forever. He didn't meet anyone's eyes as he passed them and went up the stairs.

Everyone was used to their father's cruel remarks and how he occasionally brought each of them down. He usually had an argument with the man rebelling against his words, but not this time. This time he didn't feel like talking at all. This time he hit him hard calling him pathetic and childish and basically stupid. He felt just so tired.

Five just wanted to lay in his bed and hid from the world like a coward this one time. Just this once.

When he heard someone knock at his door and come in. He didn't look up. He didn't look up because he knew there was only one person who would come to his room like that after what happened.

She sat down on the bed next to him for a moment not saying anything before she lied down.

He remained silence as well as he brushed his face not wanting her to see his tears even though she could hear him sob.

She didn't say anything for a while before she suddenly made the bed shift with her movement and hugged him from the behind.

He didn't know what she was doing, but he let her, putting his hand over hers just letting her hold him for a while as he tried to calm down. Usually it was Vanya who needed someone to hold her close, but today he was grateful that she could hold him. He was grateful that she was strong enough to do so without asking him to talk.

At times he was sure Vanya was the only one who understood him completely without words just like he understood her.

Some time has passed before he turned around to face her.

'I'm going to time travel,' he told her his confidence returning even though his voice was weaker than ever.

'I know.'

'I will prove him wrong,' he said trying to assure both of them.

Vanya sighed, 'I hope so.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Nothing, I just don't want to lose you,' she told him honestly causing his stomach do the flip again.

'You won't. I will always come back remember?'

She nodded, but he could tell she wasn't convinced.

He watched her for a moment before he smirked a bit asked, 'How about a deal?'

* * *

**Now**

Seeing the Handler brought many emotions he rather not felt in that moment. He wanted to kill the bitch right on the spot remembering all the things she forced him to do. She almost made him forget who he was. He almost lost himself in the killer she made of him. Fortunately, Vanya helped him remember. She was slowly bringing him back from the sleep the Handler had put him into when she tried to erase his consciousness completely. Vanya was bring him back, the real him back.

He had to leave with her though. There was no other way. He had to leave and figure out more about the apocalypse right from the source. It took him a while to get to the file. It wasn't easy. He didn't know how much time passed but if he was correct it wouldn't matter he would just have to go back to the same day.

He knew the Handle was right next to him in the stupid bathroom. The bitch didn't trust him no matter what she said. She was playing for something just like he was.

It was risky. Five knew it was incredibly risky, but he still found himself slowly opening the file to look inside. Anything could be used. Anything could help him change it all and save them.

He had to put it away because the Handler walked out of the stroll. He cursed the woman and hid the file underneath his sweater. He had to look later.

The mind games with her were exhausting. Both of them knew that the other one was lying and hiding something. He remembered the time he found them amusing, and a nice way to stimulate the lack of interactions he received over the last four decades alone in the post-apocalypse world, but not anymore. Now, when he felt on his own skin, what it was like to be home, to be in the real world, where you could just lay in bed with someone who cared for you without a second motive and just wanted for you to be safe and happy, he hated the life the Handler made him live. It was the necessary evil to help him get back home, but it meant nothing to him now, he didn't want it anymore no matter what the Handler would offer him. The only thing he wanted more than anything was to stop the apocalypse and go to bed in Vanya's tiny apartment with her. He felt just so tired about all of this.

He took the grenades from her office hiding them in his pocket.

On his way out he looked over at Dot, the woman who orchestrated the smooth run of the apocalypse, she looked nervous. Whatever was her main plan for the apocalypse must have been backfiring for some reason.

'It's not working, ma'am,' he heard as he went around the corner. 'She's avoiding him. They were supposed to start a relationship, but it's obvious she's not interested in him. She even threw away the flowers.'

'No worries, then we have to think up another way,' said the Handle calmly.

Five frowned.

_Who is she? And who is_ she _avoiding?_

He followed Dot to Tube room seeing the assignment she handed to Gloria. He had one shot at this.

He knocked the woman unconscious without a second to spare and grabbed the tube almost ripping the message inside with how fast he was trying to open it only to completely froze when he did.

Reassignment: _Separate Vanya Hargreeves from Number Five at all costs_. _Do not kill._

'Wha-?'

This was a trap, and he walked right into it like an idiot. The Handler asked him to come with her not because she wanted his skills, but because she needed to separate him from Vanya, and he did it. He did it again, and played right into the Commissions cards like the idiot that he was. He wasn't clever, no, he was far from it. He was an idiot.

_Foolish boy, you're confidence will once be your downfall. A person who assumes he is the smartest in the room will always fail._ The old man's words echoed in his mind from the day he shot down his time travelling ideas in front of his siblings and he ran away crying only to Vanya to come comfort him. She always came, she always waited, and he left her again...

He thought he could trick the Commission, but instead they tricked him.

Maybe that was why he didn't find his own body in the future because he left. He left Vanya just like he always did.

His mind ran through million thoughts in a second in a chaotic tornado until he swallowed hard and pushed the paper into his pocket.

He immediately started to work writing fake assignments to both Hazel and Cha-Cha before he let them up the tubes. He felt like throwing up in that moment.

_Vanya? Vanya! The hell has Vanya to do with all of this?_

Why was it important to keep them apart? And do not kill? What did it mean?

'Five?' he heard the Handler's voice suddenly and looked up only to find her looking at him confused as to why was he there.

'Where's Gloria?' she asked and he shrugged his shoulders trying to calm down, 'Couldn't find her.'

The Handle looked around spotting the woman behind the desk before she turned back to Five. Her expression cold blooded. She was finally putting down the facade. Good, he was tired of this charade anyway.

'You're a great disappointment to me,' she said and he would be pleased if he wasn't so eager to get the hell out of there.

'You can't change what's to come, Five,' she told him looking so sure of herself that just for that look on her face alone, he wanted to prove her wrong.

'I truly find it so odd that you can't shed this fantasy. You're a first rate pragmatist. You belong _here_ with _us_ , nowhere else,' she said and he let out a dark chuckle, 'That's what you would like me to think, wouldn't you? That you broke me, ruined me, change me into a killer so profoundly that I will never find a place anywhere else. But you're wrong. I belong somewhere, and it's not _here_ with _you_.'

She shook her head a mocking laugher escaping her mouth, 'You think it's with _her_? You think we don't know about her? About what you feel for her? You think she can accept what you are? Who you are? We never made you a killer, Number Five, you always were one,' she told him, 'We just allowed you to use your full potential.'

He wanted to kill her for even mentioning her, but thought better of it.

He smirked, 'And now I'm gonna use it to stop you.'

The Handler pulled out a gun and fired at him.

He teleported just in time hearing the alarm echoing through the place. He had to be quick. He hid from her as he heard her coming closer, 'What's the rush, Five? We're just getting started.'

Five patiently counted. He counted the number of bullets the Handler had left before he finally reached the empty gun and teleported in front of her and she without hesitation pointed the gun at him, 'I saved you. I brought you here to the real world. I saved you from a lifetime of loneliness and solitude. You _owe_ me.'

She pulled the trigger only to realize it was empty.

He smirked cockily again, 'Someone did brought me back. Someone did save me from a lifetime of loneliness and solitude, and I do owe a debt,' he teleported again behind her pulling out one of the grenades he stole from the Handler's office earlier, from his pocket, 'But it's not to you.'

He pulled the safety and rolled it to her feet. Five rushed out to the Briefcase room grabbing one of the briefcases and throwing another grenade there before he opened the suitcase and jumped through it.

For a moment he was falling and then the next he landed on the hard wooden bar in his house.

_I'm getting to old for this stuff._

He rolled off it being caught by Allison and Luther. He could see Diego and Klaus were there too, but the most important person was missing as usual from their family meetings.

'Are you alright?'

'Who did this to you?'

'Irrelevant,' he said snatching Allison's plastic coffee cup as he stumbled to his feet, his side hurt and he felt like shit, but none of that matter. Nothing matter except her, because to him...she always mattered

He drank the coffee at one go before he threw out the cup and looked at his siblings dead serious, 'Where the hell is Vanya?'

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Honestly, this was not the way I planned this chapter to go at all, so I have no idea if it is a good idea or not yet. Hopefully you will like it. Also next chapter will be the same day only from Five's POV because there are some things I need to cover in order for the story to make more sense.
> 
> Thank you for all the support, comments, kudos are always welcome :)
> 
> Enjoy

**Now**

When Vanya woke up that day she reached besides her realizing immediately that she was alone. Her brown eyes opened and she let her hand remain on the spot a few moment minutes realizing that in fact it was true.

Five was gone again.

She sat up nodding to herself before she went to get ready for the day. Apart from her short lived relationships Vanya never had anyone with who she shared a bed for this long. Not _her_ bed at least and not since she was a kid. It was strange. She didn't need any time to get use to the feeling of another person next to her, but it took her countless moments during the night to finally fall asleep alone. She...she missed him even when she was asleep.

Yesterday, when she got the part the first thing she wanted to do was to tell Five. She wrote him a message and tried to call him, but with no answer. Just like that she was returning to all the feelings she always felt, abandonment.

She cursed herself as she walked out of the concert hall through the worsening rain. It was insane. She knew he would do whatever it took to stop the apocalypse. He told her the other night and yet she felt...betrayed that he did? What the hell?

She stormed into her kitchen trying to find her pills. At least when she was numb, the pain of being alone wasn't so bad. She was halfway through the cabin when she realized she did not keep her pills in it, and she was out of them since two days now.

She looked outside. It was raining again.

Vanya went to sit in front of the window for a bit feeling kind of like a moody teenager looking at the rain outside thinking about the person who left them.

It was ridiculous really.

She tried to call Luther and then Allison but neither picked up.

She walked over to her chair where Dolores was left looking at her.

'What do you think I should do? No one is answering their phone and Five hasn't come back. I just...I'm worried...what if he...what if he's gone again...'

She looked at Dolores who was silently looking at her, or so Vanya assumed.

'I mean, I can't just go to them,' she said and looked at the mannequin again,

'well...yeah, actually I can...It's my house to,' she stood up.

'Thank you Dolores,' she told the mannequin before she went to her bedroom again.

Despite her better judgement she put on her clothes and went to Umbrella Academy momentary stopping as she remembered what happened the last time she went there.

She didn't want to see Diego again. He was being an ass to her. Alright, she shouldn't have wrote the book without her siblings approval, but he didn't have to act like a total jerk.

She was by the door when she suddenly felt like she should just turn around and leave feeling anxious. She was not a part of the Academy. She couldn't help anyway about the apocalypse. She was useless, plus if Five could he would come to her apartment just like before and he would call her. He did neither so it was clear he couldn't, and neither did the others.

She stopped with her hand on the handle, she was just wasting time here, not to mention getting in the way, if they actually were working on stopping the apocalypse.

Vanya turned around and started to leave. She was walking down the street the rain wasn't so bad right now.

She heard someone call her name, 'Hey, what are you doing here? Long time no see.'

She turned around to see Leonard smiling at her.

She politely smiled back although the last thing she wanted right now was a social meeting, 'Hi, yes, uh, I was just visiting me family.'

'Oh, sounds nice. How are you?' he asked always looking so polite and happy. She wished she could feel so happy like this guy. How does he do it?

'I'm good,' she said and nodded a bit, 'Actually I got the part for the first chair. You know the one I mentioned before.'

'Really? Whoa, that's so great. See? I told you, you should try it,' he said and then reached to hug her which surprised her, but she pushed it away giving him a quick awkward pat on the back to signal she wasn't a hugger.

She stepped a bit away from after that creating a distance she so desperately needed. The lack of affection as a kid did a number on her for sure.

With the corner of her eyes she caught a lamp being bend strangely and turned to look at it only to find several lamps in the same strange matter.

'That's...weird,' said Vanya wondering what the hell happened to the lamps.

'Hey, how are you with lunch today?' he asked her, and she felt an odd pinch in her chest.

She gathered most of her courage finally to put to words what she should have the first time Leonard asked her out.

'Listen, uh, I'm _flattered_. I really am because I think you're the nicest man I have ever met, but...I'm not looking for anyone because-'

_I'm sleeping with someone else..._

She blinked surprised by her own trace of thoughts. That was unexpected with double meaning.

'-Uh, because I'm just really focused on my family and work right now. I appreciate the offers though, but I can't.'

He looked at her for a moment, his face unreadable before he seemingly sheepishly looked down, 'Well, uh, you're welcome, but uh, I wasn't really implying anything like that. I'm not into women-'

'Oh God,' she said and closed her eyes feeling the humiliation hit her like a rock.

'I'm sorry, my ex always told him I'm overly friendly and people just assume I'm hitting on them, but I swear I just really like you and think you're a bit lonely and needed some friend. I understand if I pushed a line a bit,' he immediately said apologizing and Vanya quickly shook her head, 'No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed and you're right I...I need a friend. Uh, do you want some coffee? As an apology for thinking...I'm just so sorry.'

'No, no, no, like I mentioned _this_ happened before. Uh, no apology or coffee needed if you don't want to,' he said smiling again.

Vanya looked at him feeling like an idiot. A guy was nice to her and she thought it matter...she mattered. She was really desperate or something. Allison and Five will have a field day when she tells them about this. She momentarily grew sad again. If gets a chance to tell Five that is...

'Yeah, let's go,' she said and nodded. She briefly remembered Five's advice not to go out with him, but if he was gay what harm could he be to her. It was just coffee, and right now she kind of didn't want to be alone or with her family who needed once again be the heroes. It made her feel so worthless as it used to when she was child. She never mattered, she wasn't important. She was just...ordinary.

'Oh, I wanted to ask you. Did I maybe leave my pills at your place?' she asked as they started to walk.

He looked over at her, 'Well, maybe? I didn't notice but maybe they fell under the couch. Do you want to check right now? It's not that far?'

She nodded, 'Yeah, that would be great.'

* * *

**26 years ago**

Four year old Number Seven was sitting in front of her plate in the kitchen. She was the last one there. All her siblings finished eating and left a while ago, but the stupid nanny was making her stay until she finished her food.

She didn't want to. She didn't like it. It tasted bad.

She heard footsteps.

When she looked at the stairs she thought it would be Father or Pogo, but instead it Number Five and Number Four.

She smiled at them as they walked toward her, 'Come and play with us.'

'I can't. The nanny said I had to eat everything,' she pouted at her plate full of broccoli.

Number Four waved his hand and took the plate. He kept on looking for the nanny to show up before he simply dumb the food into the trash.

'She will find it there,' mumbled Number Five.

Four took some paper bag and put it over it.

He put the plate in front of Seven, 'Now come on.'

Number Seven got down from her stool and took Four's hand following Five upstairs before the nanny would show up again and force her to do something she didn't want to.

* * *

**Now**

Leonard opened the door for her and she walked inside. She was in his house only a couple of days before, but now she felt different. Less worried knowing he had no intensions with her. She still felt a bit like an idiot for thinking he did. Maybe she wouldn't even think so if Five and Allison didn't point it out before.

'So couch,' he said and went to the living room while she remained in the small corridor checking out the house a bit as far as she could from her spot in the hallway.

'Hey, you can come inside,' he called from somewhere in the house.

Vanya nodded although he couldn't see her and stepped a bit further inside. She spotted some photos of a man and a woman. Probably Leonard's parents. They looked very happy as they smiled into the camera just like most people did. The photo was a bit old. They were very young. She briefly thought back to the time her siblings and father were taking pictures without her. It still hurt maybe because she was lacking the numbness of her pills.

She looked around noticing that she was already looking into the living room, but there was no Leonard.

She blinked confused and walked further inside noticing he wasn't in the dining room either.

'Leonard?' she called a bit.

No responds. It puzzled her.

She looked backward to the door for a moment wanting to rush to it for some reason, but she pushed the thought away hearing it started to rain again outside. The weather was a bit crazy lately.

She stopped by the stairs to the second floor, 'Leonard?'

It would be rude to go upstairs, so without his permission. Her mind suddenly went back to every horror story and every news article which spoke of a woman found dead or not found at all, and she just went backwards only to find Leonard coming from the kitchen, 'Hey? Everything alright?'

She wanted to shout no, it was not alright. Where were you and why didn't you hear me?

She felt some noises around them.

'What's that?' she asked. It was like glasses were hitting against each other creating the same sound as little bells.

He shook his head looking confused, 'What's what?'

'I should go,' she said suddenly knowing this was not alright. She did not feel okay being in his house anymore, 'I should go to the concert hall and practice for the concert. It's in three days.'

'Alright, let me walk you outside,' he offered and Vanya wanted to tell him no to but found herself nodding anyway. Always trying to please others even if it meant doing something she hated. That was what Five once said about her. It seemed fitting now more than ever.

'Oh, I almost forgot. I found dad's old violin,' he said, 'I wanted to show it to you. It will be just a moment.'

Before she could argue he was already out of the sight in the kitchen. Very hesitated she followed him stopping in front of the door which must have led into the basement.

She couldn't move for a moment, it was so dark. Not a single light and she couldn't see a damn thing. It reminded her of her dreams.

_All alone, in the dark, left behind._

She let out a startled gasp and yelled into the dark, 'I-I have to go!'

She turned around ready to rush to the door and get the hell out now only for something hard to hit her head and make the world go dark.

* * *

**26 years ago**

Again with the broccoli. Why was the nanny torturing her with it so much?

'Number Seven? Eat your food,' said the nanny as she went to check Number One's plate.

The girl looked down at the broccoli and frowned.

'I don't want it,' she mumbled.

'Number Seven, be a good girl and eat your food,' said the nanny again.

Seven looked up catching Number Five looking at her for a moment before he made a face at her and she chuckled.

'Number Seven! You are being a very bad little girl. You will not leave this table until I see you eat all your food.'

Seven was upset. Why was the nanny always so angry with her? Just with her. She was never upset with anyone else, just with her.

She didn't like her. She was angry a lot and forced Seven to stay by the table until she ate the food which wasn't good. She hated broccoli so much! Why did she have to eat it?

Number Seven felt something inside her spreading. She felt it before a couple of times too. She heard the kettle on the stove started to signal that the water was boiled. Her mind focused on the sound feeling something spreading inside her, it was growing and growing until it sudden burst like a bubble and everything on the table broke into pieces.

Everyone screamed and Number Six and Three started to cry.

'Number Two,' she heard the nanny say and saw Number Two who was drinking from a glass in the moment everything broke to pieces had something red on his fingers now.

'I-I-I th-think I b-b-b-broke the glass,' he told the nanny looking confused.

The nanny looked scared at the boy's hand before she raised her eyes at Number Seven. She didn't mention the food this time, and she didn't look upset anymore either. She just looked terrified. She told everyone to leave and took care of Number Two.

Number Seven remained in the doorway for a moment looking at Number Two who was still looking at his palm before Number One pushed her with the others away.

* * *

**Now**

The first thing Vanya noticed when she woke up was that she was surrounded by dark and something was inside her mouth making it uncomfortable open.

She tried to scream only to realize that no sound came out before she started to trash realizing she was handcuffed or tied somehow to the wall near her.

_No, no, no! This isn't happening!_

She felt her heart going wild as she panicked trying to break free or think up some way to break free. She pushed at whatever was holding her, but it was no use. She couldn't see, hear or say anything. She felt utterly defenceless and terrified.

When she felt someone touch her shoulder she jerked away crashing into what fell like a wall. It knocked the air out of her, but she just tried to push herself as much into it as possible away from whoever touched her.

Suddenly the blindfold from her eyes was removed and she was met with Leonard smiling down at her.

In that exact moment Five's voice echoed in her mind: _Rapist can climb._

_And apparently they can pretend to be nice gay guy to chain you to a wall in their torture dungeon basement._

She pushed herself as hard as she could into the stone cold wall looking around. She was in his basement handcuffed to the wall with some muffler in her mouth and had some sort of earphones in her ears.

The basement was empty expect for a chair and some toll box on the table next to the chair.

She wanted try to pull the handcuffs, but it was zero use of course. She was panicking. She wanted to know what the hell was happening and why he was doing this to her.

Gosh, she was so stupid.

She felt tears rolled down her eyes. Five and Allison were right and she was an idiot for thinking this guy had any good intentions with her. She should have known. She should have freaking known. Gosh, she was such a fucking idiot. Some guy shows little interest in her and she thinks something good could be happening for once in her life.

She watched as he grabbed a note book from the table and started to write something into it while Vanya tried to find some way she could go out. Anyway, she could survive this and get out.

She couldn't hear anything, but she noticed him waving at her at one point before he showed her what he wrote:

_It's okay, I don't want to hurt you._

Vanya gave him a disbelieved look. He couldn't be serious.

_He didn't want to hurt her? He hit her over the head and handcuffed her in his torture chamber._

She started to cry harder before she spotted him coming closer and tried to get away from him.

He frowned at her before he pushed away her tears. She felt disgusted by him touching her more than anything else.

He showed her what he wrote again.

_I knew who you were before we first met, and I knew who's your family._

She shook her head. She didn't understand this. Who was he? Some guy her family pissed off?

_For a very long time I was angry at your family for how they rejected me._ He continued to write and show her the pages.

_I wanted them to pay. When I read your book, I realized you would be the perfect victim._

She felt like crying again but pushed it away trying to be strong and not want him to come touch her again.

_You were ordinary. Powerless. You wouldn't stand a chance. I was following you for a while now. I wanted to bring you here and hurt you in a way which your family would never forget. I wanted to torture you for a while and then leave you at their doorstep for them to find you. I wanted to hurt them._

She shivered at his words before she shook her head again. She felt like puking as she read all this. He was following her for a while now? He was planning this? Gosh, she felt so stupid in that moment! She should have listened to Five and Allison. She should have trusted them. She shouldn't have come here. She shouldn't have gone to the house, or she should have walked in and maybe he would miss her. She should have just stayed in bed all day.

_But then, the day of that asshole's funeral,_ she continued to read. _Your brother threw this into the trash._

He picked up another notebook with the letters R and H on them. It took her a few moments before realization hit her. She knew that book. She knew it well. It was her father's notebook. Her brother threw it away? What did that mean?

_I read many interesting things about you and your family._

She shook her head again before she looked up at him. Not waiting him to come and force her to look.

_You're not ordinary, Vanya. You're not ordinary at all. I'm going to help you realize that and get that full potential your father never could._

This guy was insane. He was insane. He thought she had powers? He was insane and he was going to kill her and the others were trying to stop the apocalypse so they would never know and they would never find her.

This is why she wasn't with the other because she was in this basement probably killed three days before the apocalypse.

_I will let you process it a bit. We have time for you to understand._

He stood up and went to the stairs. She started to pull at the handcuffs again, until he suddenly turned on the lights and it was dark again. Pure, and terrifying dark, where she couldn't even hear anything.

She started to cry again hopelessly. When she was a kid she had nightmares of being alone, in the dark, forgotten, now she really would be.

* * *

**26 years ago**

Number Two had a bandage on his hand for two days and Seven left him her desert for the next two dinners feeling sorry. She didn't mean to hurt him. She just got upset with the nanny. She didn't mean it.

She never meant it. One moment everything was okay and the next it was broken into pieces. No one knew what it meant, but she had this strange feeling that she voiced only once when Five was playing with her by the fire place.

'I think I broke the glass the other day,' she said and looked at Number Five as he was helping her build a tower. Their father wanted them to always build something with their toys, or do something meaningful. She didn't understand it yet why some things had meaning and some didn't.

He blinked, 'But Number Two was holding it not you.'

She shrugged her shoulders, 'I just feel like it was me.'

Five watched her for a moment before he said, 'Sometimes...I feel like there is something inside of me which can do something too.'

'Break things?' asked Seven hopefully, but Five shook his head, 'No...just something. It feels like I can almost touch it, but not really.'

'Oh,' said Seven confused. Number Five always said weird things she didn't understand. She knew Number Three and Number Two didn't like to play with him because of that. She didn't mind. He made her laugh with his faces, so she didn't mind if he talked about things she didn't understand.

'Number Seven, it is time for your training,' said their father as he came to the room.

She stood up and went with him as usual. Maybe after they trained she wouldn't hurt anyone anymore.

She turned around and waved at Number Five who waved back telling her he would wait for her to come help him built the tower.

* * *

**Now**

Vanya pulled at her cuffs. She just needed to figure out a way to get one of her hand free. Yeah, small steps.

After a while of rotating and pulling, her wrists felt like she was cutting them in half she pressed the back of her head against the wall. She was so useless. She wished one of her siblings were here, anyone, because of course each and every one of them would know how to get out of this situation, but not her. Because she was just so... _Vanya_.

_I think you're more capable then you let yourself or others believe._

She opened her eyes to the dark again for a moment not sure if it was the hit to the head or dehydration, but she swore she heard Five's voice in her ear.

No, that was not right. She was all alone here. Even Leonard finally left her for a bit.

_That's good. Because if he was here, he would see what you were doing and tried to spot you._

_**Stop me from what?** _

_From getting out of here. It is his goal to keep you here, while yours is to get out._

_**I don't know how!** _

She started to cry again, but it was almost as if she felt Five's touch on her chin lifting her up to look at him even if he wasn't really there.

_Hey, come on. Enough of that. You're smart. Really smart. Stupid people annoy me, you know I have no patience to spent time with them, but I do with you because you're very clever. Think. There's gotta be a way to get out. Look around you._

_**It's dark.** _

_But it wasn't always, was it? Do you remember what was on the table when he took you blindfold off?_

_**Tools...** _

_Anything useful?_

_**I don't...I can't remember.** _

_Breath, Vanya. You got this. What was on the table?_ Five's voice sounded always so on point and rational in her mind.

_**Tools!** _

_What kind?_

_**Uh, screwdriver, a hammer, pliers-** _

_Plies that could cut the handcuffs?_

Vanya felt her heart beating faster with hope.

_**Yes.** _

_So go get them._

She very carefully stood up as far as the handcuffs allowed her.

_**I can't reach it.** _

_Try harder, fail better._

She felt the blood rushing through her ears over the headphones. She wanted to scream so badly in that moment even though she couldn't. She felt the same feeling she did before of something spreading and gathering inside her before it burst like a bubble. She felt her whole body go cold for a moment like someone threw cold water at her.

In an instance she felt something touch her foot and she jerked away almost thinking that Leonard was really there playing with her, until she reached out for it again. It was the screwdriver. How did it ended up on the floor when it was on the table in the tool box?

She started to move her foot feeling something sharp cut her at one point. She flinched, but she didn't know if she let the pained sound out or not since she still couldn't hear anything.

She tried to search some more until she found the pliers.

_**I got them.** _

_Great, now just try to cut the chain. You will get rid of the handcuffs later. Was there a backdoor? In the kitchen?_

_**Yes, but my shoes-** _

_Forget them, don't look for anything, just run outside to the nearest house for help. Nothing else matters right now only your survival, alright?_

_**Okay** _ **.**

_Good..._

She pulled the pliers close enough with her feet for her hand to reach them. She grabbed them and almost twisting her wrist while doing so. She cut the chain using all strength she could muster. Once the chain was broken, her hands fell apart to different sides although she could feel the broken cuffs still around her wrists. She immediately pulled down the earphones and got rid of the muffler in her mouth spitting the disgusting taste of the rug. If she gets out of this, the taste will haunt her for days.

She stood up breathing hard, but grateful that she no longer had her mouth and ears covered. She walked with short and careful steps to where she remembered she saw the staircase.

She hoped she didn't make too much noise doing so. As she finally caught the wooden bar connected to the stairs she felt a spark of hope. She was careful as she walked up the stairs praying for them not to make a sound.

As she reached what she believed was the top stair the door opened, the light blinding her for a moment before she felt someone shoved her hard.

In the moment between her falling and actually hitting the lower stairs, felt like it took on forever in Vanya's mind as all the hope once again left her body and she believed that in the next moment she was going to die all alone with her siblings never finding her. She was going to die, without telling goodbye to Five. In that moment before her head hit the stairs, She realized she didn't say him goodbye when they parted in the car, and from all the stupid decision that she did in her life, that was the one she regret the most. She wished she could have just hug him...just see him...just one last time...

Her head hurt and she heard ringing and blood rushing through her ears as Leonard turned on the light and rushed down to her.

'Freaking bitch, what did you do? How the hell did you get out?' he asked her before he grabbed her by the hair and started to drag her back to the direction of the chains.

'You cut them?! Fucking-'

She screamed as she felt him pull her hair and for some reason, maybe for the first time in her whole life, she started to fight. Fight back.

She got her hair out of his hold and maybe it was the adrenaline, but in that moment she once again remembered Five's words and kicked him with all her might into his knee. She managed to get up and rush to the stairs again.

She heard him groan in pain and run after her immediately catching her and trying to drag her back down.

'Come here, you little bitch-'

He punched her, hard.

She let out a startled cry as she fell to the ground from the impact and he got on top of her. Screaming her lungs out this time, she started to punch and scratch him. She tried to cause him as much damage as possible that would help her get him off of her. She got caught up in the process of trying to fight him off her. She was desperate to get him off. She felt like he was so heavy he was crushing the air out of her. She couldn't breathe. She felt herself choking under his weight. She wanted to break free. She wanted to break free. She wanted just to break free before all of the sudden she caught the sight of something behind him move and the screwdriver cut the air falling right next to her face as blood splashed on top of her cheek and hair.

She let out a startled cry as Leonard put his hand against the spot which was now bleeding out.

He fell down to the ground and Vanya crawled from under him looking at him in shock as he tried to stop the blooding on his neck while his eyes looked at her with fear and hate.

She swallowed hard before she moved closer to him, instinct or being a good person or maybe wanting to finish him kicking in as she put her hands over his not sure if she was trying to stop the bleeding or cause him more pain. The blood flow wouldn't stop, until ultimately, he stopped moving all together his leg letting out one last desperate kick before he went still.

Vanya watched him for a while as if she was half expecting him to get up and say something or do something, but he didn't. He just remained laying there, motionless.

She...she didn't understand.

She looked around them now seeing things all over on the floor and the table broke in half.

She didn't understand this. This wasn't right...

Vanya shook her head not sure if at herself or at him before she looked down at her hands. They were covered in his blood as she touched the wound.

She never saw so much blood. She...never witness anything so brutal. She was always the ordinary one. She was always home and nothing ever happened home. Everything was always so dull at home...nothing ever happened at home...

_She needed to go home_ , she thought to herself as she stood up.

No, wait she needed to go to the Concert Hall. She should go to the Concert Hall and prepare for her part. She should practice. She should go to work. Of course, she will go to work. That made sense. She was late for work, so she needed to go to work.

She walked out of the basement spotting her violin case on the ground. She picked it up easily and walked out of the house. You can't practice without a violin.

She continued to walk and walk, she felt her feet hurt after a while, but she just walked. She needed to go to work and practise on her violin. She would practise and practise and then she would have a concert where she would be the first chair like she always wanted to be.

She heard a car nearby stopped. The brakes let out that odd squeaky sound that they did sometimes before she heard someone rushing to her and calling her name.

She blinked confused. Who would be calling her name now? She needed to go to work.

'Vanya, hey, come one,' she blinked as Diego suddenly stood in front of her looking pretty shaken as he put his hands on her shoulders.

Why did he look so scared? And why was he touching her? He hated her? He told her to leave that she wasn't a part of the family.

'I need to go to work,' she mumbled and tried to continue to walk, but he held her in place.

Suddenly Klaus was by her side looking from Diego back to her before he said, 'No, because uh, today, is no work day. It's a holiday.'

She blinked at him confused, 'I-I need to go to work. I got the part and I have to practice for the concert.'

She tried to walk again, but Diego still held her in place pushing at her a bit. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe again. She felt like _he_ was pushing the air out of her. She wanted to scream that he was choking her. The air suddenly ruffled her hair. It was growing a bit stronger. It was such a strange weather lately.

'Hey-hey-hey, Five's been looking everywhere for you. He asked us to find you and take you home, alright?' asked Klaus suddenly and Vanya blinked the lack of oxygen feeling gone. She could breathe again.

'F-five?' she asked wondering why was her voice always so small compare to her siblings'. So small, so unimportant compare to them or anyone else...

'Yes. So you can't go to work because-'

'-Five w-w-wants to see y-you,' finished Diego shuttering a bit. It was a while since Vanya last heard him do that. Why was he shuttering now? Was he upset? He only did it now when he was very upset.

Vanya blinked and looked down at her violin case, 'But the concert...'

'Is it today?' asked Diego and she shook her head, 'No, in three days. I think...'

He gave her a smile which looked a bit forced, 'T-t-then you have th-hree whole days to p-p-practice, sis. Come on, just-just take a nice deep breath and let's get you to Five now, alright?' he asked and she nodded slowly. She wanted to see Five again. She wanted to hug him like she should have before he left. She should have hugged him them.

She felt Klaus's fingers touched her hand as he grabbed the violin case from her hand, 'I'll take this.'

'A-are you cold?' asked Diego as he let her go and pulled down his jacket putting it around her. She looked down. It was too big for her.

'Hurt?' he asked her his voice softer, 'Is any of the blood yours?'

She was quiet for a moment. What blood?

Her eyes moved to the sidewalk and she looked behind her finding small traces of blood.

'I cut my foot,' she said before her eyes got filled with tears and she started to shake again.

'It's okay. It's fine,' said Klaus all too cheerfully before suddenly she was being slowly escorted to the car and they sat her down with Klaus sitting down next to her after exchanging a few words with Diego.

'I-I don't understand,' she mumbled. She didn't know what happened or how it happened.

'It's okay, Vanya. It's fine,' he said and he gave her the same forced smile Diego did before he pulled her a bit closer to him, hesitating.

'It will be alright,' he mumbled against the side of her face before he kissed the top of her head.

'It just...it just all happened so fast,' she mumbled before started to cry again not even knowing why.

* * *

Everything after that was blurring in Vanya's mind. She remembered Klaus helping her out of the car or maybe it was Diego, before they got her into the house. Everyone was talking, over one another. She wasn't sure if they were talking to her as well, she sort of tuned everything out once they got back to the house.

Grace helped her out of her clothes, and into a bath just like when she was little. She even held her hand the same way, she did when she was little and didn't want Grace to leave her alone in the bathroom. Vanya watched confused as the blood was being washed down through the drain.

She heard argument outside, but she couldn't really hear what it was about. Allison brought her some of her old clothes. Funny, how they still fit her. It was like she was frozen in time. Never growing up much or getting fat.

They put her to bed. Except she did not fall asleep. She laid awake staring at wooden floor in her room as little by little it was getting darker and darker outside. She felt a raise of panic wash over her at one point, but instead of a bubble bursting inside her, she felt something else. She felt the disgusting taste of the rug which was inside her mouth forbidding her from screaming and the blood which splashed on her face after the screwdriver cut through Leonard's neck.

She jumped out of the bed nearly knocking over Allison who was just outside before she rushed to the shared bathroom on the floor. She distantly heard someone call her name, but she didn't care as she threw up what was left of her breakfast from that morning finally feeling like the disgusting taste of blood was out of her throat.

She felt someone's smooth and cold fingers dug into her hair and pushed it aside. She immediately pressed herself against his chest and shoulder. She didn't even need to look to know it was him.

'It's okay, it's fine. You did good,' Five whispered into her ear. She barely managed a small nod before she turned around and hid her face into his shoulder and neck not carrying that she just threw up. She just needed to hug him for a moment to be sure he was back and to be sure that she was really there and not in the dark all alone.

He pulled her into an embrace probably not carrying either that she just threw up and just wanted to keep her close.

'You're here,' she mumbled against his pyjama shirt.

'I'm here,' he said brushing her back softly making her feel for the first time that day safe.

'I'm sorry I left,' he said his voice sounding like he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders; 'I will never leave you again like that.'

'It's my fault. I shouldn't have gone to his house. I just wanted my pills back...he said he was gay,' she chuckled a bit shaking her head against him. It sounded so ridiculous now. She was such an idiot.

'It doesn't matter now. You did well. You survived and you made him pay. You did well, Vanya,' he said and she felt him kiss her hair the same way Klaus did earlier. But it didn't feel the same.

'Five-I don't know what happened,' she mumbled and he shook his head, 'It doesn't matter. You just did what you had to do to survive. Let's get you off the floor to the bed, okay? I will stay with you.'

He helped her up and led her back to the room. She felt Allison touch her arm on the way, and she saw Luther watching them from close by at the end of the hallway before Five got her in and closed the door.

Her old room filled with so many memories she wished she could erase and then some she wished she could keep forever.

They laid down next to each other on her tiny. Was it always so small? They were pressed tightly against each other and Vanya wondered how come the bed felt smaller when she didn't grow at all since she was a kid and Five was in his thirteen year old body again. Maybe they just both wanted to be closer to each other today.

'I kicked him into the knee like you told me to,' she whispered, but in the silence of the room it felt so loud.

'Good girl...you should rest now,' he told her sounding actually proud of her, but that he wanted her to sleep now. She couldn't though, she felt like she had to tell him as he softly almost lovingly stroke her hair.

'Why are you in your pyjamas?' she asked.

He answered all too quickly like he was lying, 'Because it's time to sleep.'

'I was so...so scared. I thought that I was going to die. I thought that _that_ was the reason why you didn't find me in the future with the others. Because I already died in his house three days before and you did not find yourself because you left and-'

'I'm sorry,' he said cutting off her speech as she started to cry again. She felt him lean closer and then felt his lips against her throat leaving her with small kiss. It didn't feel the same as when Klaus kissed her on the hair. It felt possessive in a way and made her let out a sharp breath and cause goose bumps run over her skin. It made her feel something which confused her all her life whenever she thought about Five. This time, however, she didn't jump away, and he wasn't drunk. She let herself let it go for now. Too much had happened today to dive into whatever _this_ was.

'It won't happen again. I won't leave you again, alright?' he asked and he stroke her arm under the blanket, 'This time I will stay with you and stop the apocalypse.'

The determination in his voice was almost enough for her to believe him. Almost.

'Of course you wouldn't...you're afraid I would set your books on fire,' she said and after a small pause heard him chuckle. He remembered.

'I almost forgot about that, but yes, I wouldn't want them to burn because of our little deal,' he said before silence fell over them again.

'He said he had dad's journal,' she whispered silently almost losing her battle with sleep.

'What?'

'He said he had it...he showed it to me. I think it was really dad's,' she said and yawned a bit.

'Don't worry about it tonight. We have a whole day tomorrow to figure that out.'

'Alright,' she yawned again a bit feeling herself allowing the exhaustion from the hell of a day she had finally getting to her.

She heard him let out a frustrated noise before he said, 'I...Vanya, I'm so sorry you had to go through that all alone. I-I should have stayed and been there with you.'

Vanya smiled a bit at that before she raised her hand and let her fingers stroke his cheek a bit, 'You were.'

'What?' he asked confused.

She giggled feeling the stroking in her hair stop for a moment before he continued. Did she have a strange giggle? Maybe he wasn't ready for her to giggle after what just happened to her.

'You were this annoying voice in my head telling me not to give up and how to use what I could to get out. In a way,' she stopped her hand on his cheek, 'You were there with me.'

Five was silent after that, and she didn't blame him. He wasn't big on voicing your feelings and neither was she so her telling him this was like she hit him over the head with a brick.

She felt him shift closer to her, 'Good...I'm glad you weren't alone.'

'Five?'

'Yes, Vanya?' he asked his voice sounding smaller now.

'If you must leave-'

'-I told you I won't ever-'

'-don't ever leave without a goodbye,' she finished closing her eyes and snuggling even closer to him.

She heard him sigh, 'I won't leave you.'

'Just don't do it without a goodbye,' her voice broke a bit at the end as she was close to falling asleep.

'Alright, Vanya, I promise I won't,' he told her and she didn't even have time to nod before she fell asleep tangled between the sheets with Five who was still stroking her hair keeping a watch and making sure she was safe.

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Sorry that I broke the update every day standard that I started before, but work murdered all my functioning brain cells for a while :P Anyway. Here is the new chapter as mentioned this is what happened in last chapter but with Five's POV as well as a little bit of what was happening after Vanya fell asleep or did she? :D It took me a while because this bitch was really long, but I needed to put all of this in it so sorry if it's too long. Fun fact when I started this story and had no idea what would happen in the next chapter it was suppose to be 7 chapters long and now we are on chapter 7 and I still have big plans for it because all of your positive thoughts about it Hehe :D thank you
> 
> Thank you again for the support you are showing this story. I won't lie all those comments and reviews are bring a bit of a pressure to make you like the story further. I hope I'm not messing it up for you all. Anyway, enough of my hidden insecurities. Enjoy

**26 years ago**

Four year old Number Five liked tests and games their father made for them. He liked how he could beat the rest of his siblings with his mind and how their father nodded at him looking satisfied and pleased about them. He was always excited for a new test wondering what would it be and if he would be so good in it. He knew Number One and Six liked to make their father happy a lot by doing well in the tests, but not him. He always felt strange about their father. He didn't think he liked him very much. He wondered if their father ever was happy with them or liked them. Somehow he didn't think so.

Today there was no running or jumping involved in a test. Pogo sat the little boy down in front his father in his study. They rarely were allowed inside so Number Five wanted to look around as much as possible. He almost stood up, but Pogo shook his head briefly letting him know he wasn't allowed to.

'Number Five, do you like playing with your siblings?' asked their father suddenly.

Five smiled, 'Yes.'

'Do you like all your siblings?'

'Yes.'

'Who do you like the most?'

Five blinked before said, 'Nanny said we have to like all our siblings the same.'

His father did not look pleased with that respond, he looked over at Pogo before he looked back at Number Five, 'Is there any one of your siblings you like to play with the most?'

'Oh,' he had to think about it. He liked playing tag with Number Two and Number Three and how Number Four could make them all laugh. Number One only spent time with Number Three and Number Six didn't talk much and liked to spent time only with Number Four.

'I like to play with Number Seven the most. She helps me protect the towers I build from Number Four and Number Two. And she laughs at my jokes, and she's nice. She doesn't make fun, when Number Four cries at night or when Number Two can't speak,' he shrugged his shoulders, 'I think I like Number Seven the most.'

His father wrote something down. Five often saw him watching them and then write something down into a notebook with what he later learned were his initials on it. Sometimes Number Five wondered if their father would tell him what he wrote, but he never did ask him.

* * *

**Now**

Five thought he must have hit his head a bit too hard from the fall if he thought his siblings would be in any way useless to him.

'Never mind, I will find her myself,' he said and went to the door. His side was feeling a bit better or maybe his determination was enough to hide the pain. He couldn't tell anymore.

'What?' asked Luther before Allison rushed after him, 'Wait, what's going on? You just appeared out of nowhere and now you have to find Vanya? What's going on?'

'What's going on? What's going on is that the world is about to end and the Commission gave direct orders to their field agents to separate Vanya and I at all costs,' he barked before he started to leave again, but Allison put her hand on his shoulder. It was hard to be an asshole to her sometimes. Especially when she was pass her _rumor_ days.

'Why Vanya though?' asked Klaus before he made a grimace, 'it's not like anyone cares for her. Said with love,' he added as he saw the murderous look Five was giving him.

Five took a deep breath, 'I don't know, but nothing the Commission does is accidental. They want Vanya out of the picture there has to be a reason.'

'You said, that you didn't find her in the future,' said Luther suddenly thinking, 'That we were all together minus Ben, but not Vanya,' he looked unsure, but he still spoke his mind, 'it could mean something.'

'What? That Vanya will magically stop an apocalypse?' asked Diego shaking his head looking unimpressed by the idea, 'You've been too long in space and you-,' he pointed at Five who immediately responded, 'And you need to shut up, Diego.'

His brother raised his brows, 'Alright, just cause you got a soft spot for Vanya-'

'What exactly do you not understand about the end of the world, Diego? Your friend died as I recall so I would assume you could see how serious this was,' snapped Five knowing he was being cruel from the look of hate Number Two gave him, but he couldn't budge. Not now. Not when maybe all he had to do was find Vanya to make the world continue. If it was true then it would be the greatest irony or joke of all times. The person he actually wanted to be the most was the one who could stop the apocalypse.

He looked from Diego to his other siblings each of them quietly looking at him. He knew he sounded like a madman. Hell, he felt like one too. He just came from blowing up the Commission only to be demanding to be with Vanya. Maybe he had gone mad from all of what happened, but he still knew that he was right. There was an apocalypse coming, and the Commission wanted to separate him from the one person who made him happy in his whole miserable life which he couldn't allow. He just couldn't. He needed to find and be with Vanya.

He took a deep breath, 'Look, I've been in the future and it doesn't just suck. There's nothing just ashes, and rotting bodies and fire and destruction. Everyone you ever know and love will be dead if we don't stop it. If the Umbrella Academy doesn't stop it. I know…I know dad messed up, but we're not kids anymore. We can't blame our actions on dad. At some point the things we do, are on us. We can either let ourselves be ruled by what happened to us or fucking own our shit and lives for once.'

His siblings remained silence for a moment sharing unsure looks before Allison asked, 'How do you know…that this time you can fix it? Save the world?'

'Because I'm here and I have a clue,' he pulled out the task which Dot wrote for Hazel and Cha-cha, 'I don't know what Vanya has to do with the apocalypse, but she wasn't with you guys when you died in the future, and that _has_ to mean something,' he said hiding the desperation in his voice. It had to mean something. He was sure of it. This had to work and he had to save the world this time.

Allison watched him for a moment before she pulled out her phone and called someone. Five rolled his eyes before she pulled the phone away, 'Her phone is off.'

Five looked with gratitude at Allison, but the others still looked unsure, 'Which is why I need to find her.'

'Do you think Hazel and Cha-cha have her?' asked Luther, 'Unlikely, I took the report before it was sent, but I can never been to sure with the Commission,' said Five trying to hid his concern. He left yesterday. There was no telling what happened during the time he was gone, and it freaked him out. He had to find Vanya and make sure she was alright. Anything could have happened in twenty-four hours.

'Okay, wait,' said Diego suddenly causing all of them to look at him. He looked tore. Five could tell he wanted to believe him. He wanted to do right by his dead friend, but he was as stubborn as a bull, 'I still have her spare key somewhere at home-'

'Don't bother I changed the locks,' said Five, the look on Diego's face was priceless, and Five would have taken pleasure in his brother shock, but not now. Not right now.

'Maybe she's not picking up because she's at work. She has rehearsals a lot,' said Allison, and Five looked away. They were wasting time here.

'So we should split and go check her apartment and work and a friend's house?'

'Vanya has friends?'

'Fine, you want to help?' barked Five before he pulled out the key he made when he changed Vanya's locks and threw it at Diego, 'Go to her apartment. I'm going to Icarus.'

'To where-?'

'The concert hall.'

'Oh~,' nodded Klaus but before he would say anything else, Five teleported to the door. He was wasting time. He had been wasting time all five says. He still had three days to stop the apocalypse and he was not letting a second go by without a looking for Vanya. H

He went to one of their father's cars right before the door opened and Luther and Allison waved at him. He didn't want them to come, but like he said before they needed to stop the apocalypse together and it was better this way. He still wasn't good with them. It had been decades since he was a team player and even in the Umbrella academy he was just too competitive to be around them. Maybe that was why he liked spending time with Vanya. He never saw her as competition, someone who he needed to have read upside down, to know his weakness and use it again him in combat. That was what their father loved to do with them. Make them see each other as targets. It was never like that with Vanya. Whenever he looked at her. He just….he just saw her as Vanya. Shy, innocent and kindhearted Vanya.

He felt his side hurt again, but he ignored it telling himself it was just from the impact. He could worry about broken ribs and bones later right now he needed to find Vanya.

'Diego and Klaus will go check out her apartment,' said Luther, but Five only managed a short nod. He was too tense right now to talk with him. He wanted just to find Vanya and make sure she was alright. It was the only thing which was important in that moment enough to him. He still had three days to spot the apocalypse, but Vanya had to found right away.

His mind drifted to their last car driver. He should have fucking hug her or say goodbye or something. He just vanished on her again. As usual. He felt a twisted pain like a knife inside his heart. Wasn't he just amazing? Here he was getting upset with each and every one of his siblings when they were doing wrong by Vanya, but what about him? He left her over and over again and didn't even look back. A couple of days ago in the van Vanya told him, he was never a prick to her, she clearly didn't count the times he left her hanging like this into the statement.

He gripped the wheel tightly.

'Uh, Five, that was a red light,' said Luther, but he paid him little to no mind, before he asked, 'Did any of you talk to her since yesterday?'

'Not really she texted me yesterday that she got the part and if you two were alright,' said Allison, 'But I forgot to call her when Luther came back.'

Five almost let out a snarky remark, but he pushed it back. He was just upset about the Handler playing him so well and that he didn't know where Vanya was. It wasn't anyone's fault. Their sibling just weren't close with her like him, but it still caused him to be a bit upset with them. All of them including himself. Still, he felt a small silver lightening.

_She got the part_.

He pictured her happy and with her eyes dancing with joy and a big smile on her face knowing all that hard work finally paid off.

He stepped on gas.

'Five, slow down!'

* * *

**26 years ago**

It had been weeks. The others were almost starting to forget about her, but he wasn't. Number Five was constantly looking at the door where their father and Number Seven had disappeared hopping that she would come back, but she still didn't.

'Is everything okay, dear?' asked their mom.

Dad said that she was the only one who would take care of them from now on. No more nannies who always looked so upset with them. They didn't like how Number One sometimes bended the spoon or caused a crack in the wall because he threw the ball too hard. They didn't like how Number Two sometimes stuttered which only made him shutter more. They hated when Number Three started her words with _I heard a rumor_ … They didn't like Number Four's jokes or how he sometimes cried in the night because he said the scary people wouldn't let him sleep. They didn't like how he sometimes ended up in other rooms or places after he got that feeling like he someone was pushing him through the keyhole. They didn't like that Number Six sometimes refused to talk for the whole day. And they absolutely hated when Number Seven refused to eat and when things started to break afterwards.

Mom didn't look annoyed by any of those things. She was always smiling and looking out for them. She was nice.

'When will Number Seven come back?' he asked. He missed his playmate more and more every day.

Mom smiled at him softly, 'Number Seven isn't feeling well. She has to get better before she can come play with the rest of you.'

'But it's been so long. When will she come back?' he asked raising his voice a bit. It was so annoying. She didn't look sick before. She was her usual self and then they wanted her come with father away and she was just gone.

Mom sighed a bit before leaned closer to him, 'I promise that she will be back as soon as she can, alright?'

He pounded and mom reached her hand toward him, 'I have an idea, hm?'

He took it after a momentary hesitation and let her walk him back to the common room where there others were playing and talk.

Mom smiled brightly as she called, 'Children.'

Some looked up and some didn't until she said again louder, 'Now, now. I have something to tell you.'

Everyone looked up at her. Clearly he wasn't the only one who liked their new mom, 'As you know Number Seven is ill and can't come play with you all until she gets better. I was thinking we could cheer her up by drawing her some nice pictures which she can look at while she is...,' said mom making a long pause before she finished, 'away.'

'Oh, I could draw those flowers in the garden near the bench we like to sit at,' said Number Three all of the sudden starting a discussion of who will draw what and an argument when Number One and Number Two wanted to draw the same thing.

'What will you draw honey?' asked Mom looking down at Five with the same warm smile she always had.

He thought about it for a moment before he smiled back at her.

* * *

**Now**

Five stormed into the Concert Hall almost knocking over some man who was on his way out.

'We're looking for Vanya Hargreeves is she here?' asked Five immediately the woman at the main desk.

'I'm sorry, who?'

Five liked to think of himself as a very calm person, who knew that exploding like a maniac would not speed or help things right now, but this woman seriously got on his nerves.

'Vanya Hargreeves, don't act like you don't know here. I left a message for her a couple of days ago, and you tried the same thing!' he snapped at the woman.

Her eyes widened as she started at Five not sure how to react, 'Uh, I'm sorry-shouldn't you be in school? It's a school day, young-'

'I dare you to tell me that a young man,' he said slowly with venom in his voice which caused the woman to shut up immediately. She was unluckily enough to be the centre of Five's frustration about Vanya to finally come to some burst.

Five looked at the woman at the front desk angrily as she assumed he was a child. He almost told her what he really thought of her when all of the sudden Allison pushed passed him, 'I'm _so_ sorry for my brother. We just wanted to see where our sister was. We're in town for a while and she made first chair. We're really excited and want to spend some time with her.'

Rumouring her way through Hollywood or not, Allison was a very good actress.

'Well, to be honest, we don't know where Ms. Hargreeves is. She should have come for practice this morning, but she never showed up and didn't call. That's not very like her. It's almost like there is a curse on the first chair,' said the woman jokingly.

Five frowned, 'What do you mean?'

The woman looked at him for a moment before she looked back at Allison who was giving off her _you know you want to gossip_ vibe, 'Well. Ms. Jones, who was the first chair the last three times hasn't show up for work in almost two days now. It's odd. She's also a very responsible person. Frankly, even the police came asking for her just an hour ago. I think her parents reported her as missing.'

This caused a very bad feeling to appear inside Five's stomach. He already felt anxious, but now he felt actually worried. The previous first chair goes missing, and now Vanya who became the first chair after her doesn't answer her phone or come to work?

He felt Luther's gaze on him, but he didn't dare to look at him, to show him any weakness of how he was really feeling in that moment, but he felt like he still couldn't hid it. Not with the way he felt he might crawl out of his skin in that moment.

_What if Hazel and Cha-Cha did get the message and take her?_

He felt his heart speed up with fear as he imagined Vanya being held somewhere by those two. Even if the order was not be killed, he blew up the Commission. There was no telling what revenge plots they had in plan for him. The Handler knew who Vanya was...that they are the closes. If that bitch knew it, anyone could.

Five felt like he couldn't breathe properly again. He had to go out on fresh air.

'Give me your phone,' he said to Luther, who blinked confused, 'What?'

'YOUR PHONE!' he yelled at him startling the woman at the desk.

'What's his problem?' asked the woman at the desk as Luther pulled out his phone. Five felt like it took him forever.

'He's just a big fan of Vanya's,' said Allison trying to smooth the situation.

Five almost ripped the phone from Number One's hands as he went through the contacts looking for Diego's number. He needed to talk to them. He needed to hear that they found Vanya safe inside her apartment practising and forgetting the time and not knowing her phone batter died...just something logical and ordinary and safe which would explain why she wasn't answering or why she wasn't at work. He freaking needed her to be safe or he would lose it.

'Oh another one. Ms. Vanya sure is popular,' said the woman with a hint inside her voice and Five stopped with his finger one inch from dialling Diego's phone.

'What did you just say?' he asked.

'That Ms. Vanya is popular,' said the woman now looking worried like she offended the three or said too much, but Five shook his head and stepped closer, 'Before...you said another one. Is there someone else?'

The woman looked at Five opening and closing her mouth a couple of times, 'Well...I suppose...there is this man...'

'What man?' asked Five feeling all his murderous cold blooded intentions returning to him as well as the uneasy feeling inside his stomach that something horrible was about to happen.

'Well, he comes here a lot, and often stays in the back seats listening to Vanya's practice. He has been coming here for a couple of months now really. I saw them talking a couple of times lately outside of the building,' explained the woman.

'Did he ever come to listen to Ms. Jones?' asked Five feeling like he was going to lose his shit as the wheels inside his head were working already coming to a conclusion.

'No, but... I think I saw him talk to her once as well,' said the woman blinked surprised, 'Strange, I assumed he liked Vanya-'

'How did this guy look like?' asked Five cutting her off.

'Not too tall, maybe my height. Dark eyes, black hair, not too fat or skinny, and very-'

'Happy looking?' asked Five feeling disgusted all of the sudden, 'Like every day was a freaking miracle?' he asked pushing the ugly grin on his face.

_Leonard_

'Yes,' said the woman looking at him like he lost his mind, which he might as well had.

'So he came to watch Vanya play for months now?'

'Well, yes, I think the first time I noticed him was two months ago,' said the woman before she looked at Allison, 'You don't he has something to do-'

Five was out of the earshot before she could finish. He immediately dialled Diego's phone number.

' _She's avoiding him. They were supposed to start a relationship, but it's obvious she's not interested in him. She even threw away the flowers.'_

His blood ran cold as he remembered what Dot said to the Handler.

'Hey, she's not home-'

'Do you see flowers anywhere?' asked Five without a greeting.

'What?' asked Number Two confused.

'Flowers. Do you see flowers a bouquet or something anywhere?' he asked and he heard Diego mumbling something like _Five has gone insane._

'JUST LOOK FOR FLOWERS, YOU IDIOT!' he shouted at the asshole over the phone.

He knew he was right. He just knew it. Leonard or whatever the hell his name was stalking Vanya before he showed up at her apartment four days ago for violin class. He just knew it! He was just an idiot. He knew something was off with that guy. He could feel it in the bones, that the smiles and kind words were not sincere. He wished he was wrong. He wished Leonard was the good guy who would be worthy of Vanya, but he wasn't! He was a freaking stalker and if he hurt her... If he really hurt Vanya he will fucking rip him to shreds. He would find him and make him bleed out hour after hour until he would beg Five to kill him.

His hand on the phone shook as he heard Diego and Klaus talking and searching the apartment.

_Please, Vanya, just be okay. He somewhere safe and just be okay. Fuck be anywhere, but be safe._

In that moment, he didn't give a fuck about the apocalypse. Ironic, his life mission to stop it and he would gladly give it all away. He would personally help the Commission set the world on fire if it meant he would find Vanya safe and okay.

The force of his own fear and emotions knocked the air out of him. His brothers and sister often called him cold-hearted and calculative. It was true. He was a pragmatist. He knew right from wrong and although he was not a fun of violence for pleasure, he understood why it was necessary sometimes. He understood how one life couldn't be more important than the lives of countless people on the world. The pragmatist inside him _knew_ this, but all of that went out of the window when Vanya was that one life. He might be a cold-hearted son of a bitch who would shot an old lady or a kid to do what needed to be done, but when it came to _Vanya_? He was as soft as cotton candy.

'There are some flowers in the trashcan,' said Diego suddenly and Five nodded even though he knew Diego couldn't see him.

' _Ask him about the mannequin,'_ he heard Klaus in the background, _'Is she like their lovechild or something? She even changed her clothes.'_

'Vanya should have a notebook somewhere with the list of all her students. Find it and look for the name Leonard on it,' said Five surprised how firm and unshaken his voice was considering how much he felt like breaking down and falling apart. But he knew he couldn't. Vanya needed him now more than ever. He left and let her down too many times, to do it again.

He ended the call just as Allison and Luther stepped closer, 'Leonard? The creep who was in her apartment when she wasn't home?'

Five looked at her shocked by the new information, 'He was there when she was out?'

Allison hugged her coat tighter around her, 'Yes, he came to return her keys and said he needed to use the bathroom. I went over to see her and the door was opened.'

Five barely contained his anger now, 'Did you see what he was doing?'

'He was inside her living bedroom. I don't know what he was doing,' she said slowly like she wasn't sure if Five wouldn't explode. He was close to it. This fucker, was inside Vanya's apartment, her freaking _bedroom_? He felt disgusted.

The phone rang again and he picked up, 'Okay, we have his name, Leonard Peabody, and there is a phone number.'

'Don't call it. We need his address,' said Five immediately.

'Maybe a buddy of mine in precinct can hook us up if I ask nicely,' said Diego before he went a bit quiet. They agreed to meet there.

Five gave Luther his phone before he went to the car again. He felt his side hurting more now.

'Five, you alright?' asked Allison, 'You're limping.'

'I'm fine, let's just go,' he lied. In fact his side was getting worse, but that didn't matter the only thing which mattered now was Vanya. He needed to find her safe and sound, or he would lose his mind. He pushed his palm against his side trying to ease the pain by burning it up a bit. He needed to hold on just a little bit longer for Vanya. He felt like he was being clawed by a tiger, but he couldn't care less.

He let Allison drive as he pressed himself against the window trying to ease the pressure on the hurt side.

He just had to hold up a bit until Vanya was home and safe, until she was with him again.

When he closed his eyes he could see that perfect small smile of hers which she always tried to hid behind her hair.

He told Allison to step on it.

They met with Klaus and Diego in the police station where he came back with a small tugged paper.

'His address,' said Diego looking a bit worried back at the station.

'What's wrong?' asked Allison noting it as well.

Diego's answers were shifty as always. Something was up, but Five couldn't get into it right now.

Five held onto his side.

'Alright, enough, what's wrong with you?' asked Luther suddenly putting his hand on Five's shoulder. He jerked away from it and gritted through his teeth, 'I'm fine.'

Klaus stepped closer watching him with a small frown.

'We have to go find that freak,' said Five sounding almost desperate. They needed to find Vanya. Nothing else was important right now why couldn't they get it into their heads? She could be the key to stopping the apocalypse...she...she was just Vanya!

Before he had time to push him away because of the pain his reflexes were a bit slower, Klaus lifted his clothing nearly tearing a bit his jacket.

'Five, you're bleeding!' said Allison startled.

'It's nothing,' he said and closed his eyes pushing Klaus away. He figured he must have been shot by Handler or scratched during the explosion, but he couldn't really dwell on it now.

'We have to get you home and fix it-'

'When will you listen already?' he snapped at them, 'The only place I'm going is that fucker's house to find Vanya.'

Allison looked upset. The kind of upset she usually did right before she would rumour you. At least that was what she would have done when she was kid.

Instead, however, he saw her look behind him at Luther, 'Do it.'

If his reflexes weren't slow because of the injury he would have teleported in a second, but they were and before he had time to duck, he felt a sharp pain hit him over the head.

_Fucking siblings!_

* * *

**26 years ago**

Grace picked all of their drawings the next day and went to show them to their father. Five waited a few extra moments to see if she would come back with them or not. She returned empty handed urging them to dinner.

Their father came to dinner shortly. He didn't say anything about the drawings, but he almost never talked during dinner. He didn't like it when they spoke if they were eating with him. They usually had an old record playing in the background.

Number Five kept on stealing glances at the empty spot next to him wondering how much longer would Number Seven be ill and when would she come back.

They had to wait for their father before they were allowed to leave the table. It was something Five never really liked. Waiting for someone else was so dull and boring. He could have left the table five times before the old man finally got up.

He watched as he did so and then asked Number Three to finish her food and come with him.

Number Five waited for a bit before he sneaked into his office. It was easier with the others not around and their father somewhere off with Three.

Inside the office he spotted all their drawings inside the trashcan. He didn't even try to cover them the way Four did Seven's uneaten dinner.

He left the room not telling anyone about what happened.

* * *

**Now**

Five woke up slowly. It took him almost thirty seconds for his memories to come back to him. He was inside his old room. He recognized the writings on his walls. For a moment, he thought he actually was thirteen and Reginald forced him not to sleep with Vanya anymore-

_Vanya_!

He sat up cursing as the pain from his side hit him hard. He remembered everything now.

'Careful, dear,' said mom from the doorway, 'wouldn't want to rip your stitches open.'

He took in a sharp breath before he stood up.

'I will fucking kill him! Luther, fucking asshole!' he teleported over Grace to the hallway where he found Luther with his arms raised in defense, 'I know that was a shitty thing to do but you were bleeding and -'

Five teleported, jumped and punched him. He didn't have the patience or energy for excuses right now. Not after what they did.

'Damn it, Five,' groaned Luther he put his hand over his nose, 'We found her, alright? We found Vanya. She's alive-'

'Where?'

'In his hous-'

'No,' he cut him off ready to stab Number One with his slow responds, 'Where is she _now_?'

'In the lounge, but Five-'

He teleported before he could finish to the lounge where he froze in place.

Vanya was sitting on the couch with Klaus and Allison by either of her sides and Diego in front of her. It felt like forever since he made the exact seven steps toward her.

She had the blankest expression he had ever seen on her. His mind drifted to a very distant memory of her when she was four years old and all of the sudden come back after being away from them. She had blank stares then as well.

He looked over at Diego who was carefully working on opening a broken handcuff on her wrist with a pin.

He couldn't speak. He wanted to ask if she was okay, and what happened and if she was hurt and if that bastard was still alive so he could find him beat him senselessly, cut him into small pieces and then demolish those pieces. He wanted to ask a million of things, but upon seeing her actually there and with blood on her face, and barefoot (where the fuck were her shoes?) and with a handcuff on her wrist and just so…so shaken, he couldn't utter a single word.

'Five?' asked Allison looking at him before she stood up and walked to him, 'She's fine. The blood it's not hers. Come on, let's go talk a bit.'

_No, no, no, please don't make me leave her. I don't want to leave her. Please don't make me!_

He let Allison's hand on his back guide him away from Vanya who looked like she didn't even notice what was going on around her.

He kept his eyes on her as Allison explained, 'They found her on the way to his house. She must have fought with him and just got into a shock. She took her violin and barefoot walked out of the house. Can you imagine?'

'What about him?' he asked finally finding his voice although he wasn't sure it was his voice. It sounded so fucking small. He couldn't remember his voice ever being this small. All because of her…being hurt like this.

'Dead, she must have fought him and killed him in self-defense,' said Allison.

Kill him…no, that was not killing. That was justice. That was pure justice, and act of kindness in Five's mind, because if it was up to him that fucker would have been alive for a very long time regretting the moment his eyes ever landed on Vanya.

He nodded slowly before he finally tore his eyes away from Vanya as Klaus brushed her hair, 'Is that the pills or shock?'

'I think it's shock.'

'Did she say something?' he asked and Allison let out a humorless chuckle which was mostly just from the desperation of the situation, 'Yeah, she said she needs to go to work. Can you imagine? She gets handcuff in a basement and stabs a guy and the first thing she wants is to go to work?'

'Her mind was trying to separate itself from what happened,' he said. It made sense. For Vanya violence wasn't a given as it was for them, at least not physical violence. They learned from early age about the usage of their strength and the damage it could cause. They were ''cheered'' by their father to use more brutal force then their opponent to defend themselves. Vanya wasn't. Five doubted she ever even witnessed the amount of blood which was on her face now. She wasn't trained to be able to kill someone, hurt someone, break someone like they were.

'We have yet to decide what to do about the body, the house? There has to be evidence all over the place that Vanya was there. If the police gets involved-'

'Fuck the police,' said Five and looked over at Vanya again. Diego got rid of the handcuffs and offered her some scotch, but she still kept on looking in front of her like a lifeless doll. It caused him to feel like he was a kid again and Vanya first came back after she was away for so long. It made him feel like he was thirteen again and Hargreeves doubled her dosage turning her into a zombie. It made him feel useless and helpless which was something he never felt before. Number Five, the man with the plan, had freaking no idea what to in that moment or how to help Vanya, and that scared the living day out of him. Ha, funny. Fear was something he let go a very long time ago. Fear was something he couldn't properly deal with while he was in the future where he needed to carry on, live on, survive. Fear was something he did not consider when playing mind games and word plays with the Handler and Commission, he couldn't show them weakness. Fear was something he only let creep into his heart when he woke up in the middle of the night to see Vanya's face close to his as she slept next to him. It was then the first time he let himself feel fear. He feared for her safety if he wouldn't manage to stop the apocalypse and she would be…gone with the rest of the world. Fear was something which hit like a rock the moment he saw the blood on her forehead after Hazel and Cha-Cha broke in. Fear was what caused him to feel like he couldn't move when he realize he left Vanya alone which was exactly what the Commission wanted. Fear was every fucking terrifying scenario which ran through his mind as he thought where the hell was she and what was happening to her. Fear was something which made him feel useless and worthless not knowing how to approach her now or how to make her feel better. How to get her to react or just fucking not look so broken…

'Five, there is a chance that Peabody hurt other women. If we just cover it up all those families will be left without any idea what happened-'

'Look, Allison, I think it's admirable you're trying to get your act together and be voice of the people, but if you failed to notice Vanya should be your number one priority. I don't care if I have to burn the house and that deadbeat's body down. If Vanya doesn't want to get involved with police, I will do it,' he told her coldly before he returned his gaze back to Vanya.

'Well, alright…for now,' said the woman unsure before she sighed, 'She hasn't been able to say anything since they brought her. Maybe you could get through to her?'

Five watched as Vanya let Klaus try to wipe the blood from her cheek with a paper towel. She looked lifeless.

His mind drifted back to the dream he had the first night he came back. He dreamed of finding Vanya's body in the future lifeless like the rest of his siblings. He cradled her head screaming for her to wake up. Suddenly he felt his chest tightening again. He was forgetting how to breathe with the smell of the ash all around him.

'Five?'

'I need to think…'

'What? But you almost went nuts when you couldn't' find you. Go hug her or something,' urged him Number Three.

'I need to think,' he said more firmly before he teleported back to his room and shut the door not sure if Luther was still out there or not.

He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe again. Five pressed his palms against his door before he kneeled down his head against it as well. How does one breathe? How do people do it? It should be the easiest thing in the world, but Five couldn't breathe.

He closed his eyes. He could smell the ash again. It was all around him in the air burning up his lungs. He could see his siblings and then between them, there she was on the ground facing the sky.

He smashed his head against the door hoping to knock the image out of his mind.

_No! NO! NO! NOT HER!_

' _You think it's with her?'_ the Handler's hideously mocking voice sounded in his head.

_You think you belong with her?_

'Fuck you,' he said to the imaginary woman in his head. He swore he heard her laugh.

* * *

**26 years ago**

Number Seven came back different. She looked very sad and he tried to cheer her up she wouldn't even smile. She didn't eat much, but Mom didn't look too alarmed by it and simple told her that she could go rest. In her little room she just laid in bed looking at the ceiling.

Number Five didn't understand why was she so sad and boring all of the sudden. She didn't even speak with them anymore just sat in her room, or laid on the bed or stared at her plate.

He tried to pull her hair once to get a reaction, but she looked right passed him before she walked back to her room. He missed the old Number Seven who would laugh at his grimaces and built towers with him and share a cookie with him sometimes.

He wanted to tell her about the drawings but thought better of it. He did not want to make her sadder than she already looked.

He wasn't entirely sure how it happened, but by the time their father told them that Seven was too ill to play with them or spent too much time with them, they already did not spent time with her, and even when she started to eat a bit more and talk she wasn't...she wasn't the Seven which went with father though the special door. She was Seven, but different. Slowly even Five stopped playing with his sibling. Games like tag and others started to feel childish. He still liked the tests, but not so much the boring games.

Time went by and he sometimes caught Seven looking at him. She spoke more and was more alive than before, but they didn't build towers anymore or made faces at each other at mealtime. Their father made it clear Number Seven wasn't allowed to play or spent time with them even if they wanted her to. They usually didn't. She was either too sick or too different. If you spent enough time being treated like you don't belong and like you are less than anyone else, you start to act like it, and people will only see you the way you see yourself.

Years went by.

He wasn't sure why but during one particular moment when their father told Seven she wasn't allowed to go to the gym with them that day, Five just thought...why not? Why can't she just be with them? Play with them? She doesn't have to have powers to be with them. To be a part of their family.

Twelve year old Number Five tugged at Number Seven's sleeve during study time when she was sitting next to him.

'Hey, do you want to go on a little adventure?'

* * *

**Now**

Five finally felt like he caught his breath again. Breathing was easy. It was breathing. He just needed to remember that and he will be okay. At least that was he told himself feeling that he had sweat through his pajamas.

He turned around, with his back pressed against the door. Memories are sometimes like bullets. Some just whiz by and only spook you, but others tear you open with their power and leave you in pieces.

He pressed his hand against his chest trying to calm his wild heart. He almost lost it. He remembered now. He remembered how their father constantly pushed Vanya away from them.

_Number Seven is not like the rest of you. She is of no use to the Umbrella Academy. She cannot take part in the training. She's just ordinary._

Five let out a desperate chuckle and put his head into his hands. He was an idiot. Hargreeves used the word _ordinary_ like it was a disease or plague. Something to be avoided at all cost. He made them feel like they couldn't be around her. He almost forgot how he told him once that he liked her the most. That was back when they were just little kids before she was taken away, before she was numbed down with the pills. He barely remembered her then, but he knew that she often build towers with him and helped him protect them from Diego and Luther. He remembered how he wanted to play with her, but the pills made her so passive she barely moved or spoke, and after a while he just let her be. He let her down because seeing her like that was something he couldn't understand or deal with at the time, and apparently not even now.

'I'm a cowardly piece of shit,' he told himself before he got up and walked out of the door ready to see her, to be with her, to do it right. If she needed time to get over what happen, he would sit next to her and wait not running away because it was too hard to look at. Not running away because he felt like someone was butchering his heart out when he saw her sitting there on the couch like that. Because he knew that if someone would take a pipe wrapped in a wire and hit him over and over into the head it would hurt far less than watching Vanya sit on that couch like that. Hilarious. Here he was thinking how great and strong he was ready to beat the shitbag who hurt her, but showing her comfort when she couldn't deal with something herself was proving to be too much for him? He felt like a joke.

He almost crashed into Klaus who looked at him eyes wide.

'Grace put her to bed,' said Klaus and pointed at to the direction of Vanya's room. Five didn't ask how he knew that he wanted to go to Vanya.

'It's okay, it's hard to see the person you love hurt…if fucking kills you inside…,' said Klaus surprising him a bit with how he spoke, like he was having internal dialogues with himself about saying that.

'Yeah,' admitted Five shortly before looking away. It was all he could say out. He wasn't… he couldn't say it. Not yet anyway. Not now. Not to Klaus or any of his siblings. He just couldn't deal with their looks and whatever they would have to say about it. He wanted nothing more than to be in Vanya's apartment again, in the bed next to her forgetting about the rest of the world. Just the two of them without the pressure of the world crashing down to them literally.

'For what is worth, Vanya's pretty lucky,' continued his brother.

Five looked up at him with determination, 'She fought her stalker. That's not luck. That's strength.'

Klaus smirked a bit before he shook his head, 'Not that. I mean _you_. She's lucky to have you. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what we would be doing. I would probably be getting high somewhere right about now. She's lucky to have someone like you urging us to look for her. Otherwise we wouldn't even know she was missing.'

Five felt his whole body froze with the painful coldness and possibility of Klaus's words. If he didn't urge them, they wouldn't even look for her. Vanya would be walking around the city barefoot with blood until someone would find her and call the cops. Their siblings wouldn't even notice she was missing. What a terrible family they were to her…

'She has a family-'

'Yeah, a shitty one which made her feel like a piece of shit with daddy dearest as our leading man,' said Klaus before he shook his head, 'I was kidnapped by Hazel and Cha-cha and no one even noticed,' he said and Five's frown softened a bit as he realized that it was true.

'Klaus-'

'Water under the bridge,' said Klaus and wave his hand, 'But it's that lovely experience by which I know, Vanya, in fact, is very lucky to have someone who would literally rather bleed to death, than would stop looking for her,' he gave him the softest smile Five ever saw on him. He didn't know Klaus had gone still sappy as well.

'Anyway, what's up the mannequin in Vanya's apartment?'

'Her name is Dolores,' said Five feeling that he needed to correct him as well as change the subject from him and Vanya, but he wasn't planning to explain further.

'Well, she's a catch. What's her deal? She's single?' he asked. Apparently the bonding moment was over, 'Jesus, you're weird-'

'What? Since you and Vanya are hitting it off so nicely can't you spare some love on your siblings?'

Five shook his head not even sure how to respond and not feeling like he wanted to. 'Just knock it off.'

Klaus chuckled looking delightful, 'Please, don't tell me you can't see it?'

'See what?' he asked feeling suddenly tired. Talking to Klaus was exhausting at times.

Klaus watched him for a moment before he let out a chuckle. 'You…whoa…nothing? Really? I mean you're like the smartest of all of us well after me of course-'

'-of course,' cut in Five sarcastically.

'-but…really? You don't see it?' asked Klaus and looked to the side grinning like an idiot.

'See what?!' asked Five again a bit more sharply this time.

Klaus gave him the calmest smile ever imaginable, 'That you love her,' he said like it was the most obvious thing on the world even adding a little _duh_ sound at the end.

Five started at him for a moment before he said with the most neutral face he could possibly make, 'Of course, l-of course, I do…she's Vanya.'

Klaus laughed, 'Whoa, you can say fuck, but the l-word gets your panties in a twist? This sounds promising. Maybe you want to dig a bit into your whole _not-able-to-give-and-accept-love_ issues?'

'No, thanks, doctor Freud,' said Five and went to his room, 'Good night-'

'Wait,' Klaus blocked his door with his arm, 'You seriously don't see it? Dude, you're like…gosh, I don't know head over hills in love with her.'

'Klaus, it's late and I want to sleep-'

'Bullshit, you want to _see_ her,' said Klaus not letting him close the door. Five wanted him to leave. He couldn't and wouldn't deal or talk with him about this nonsense. He wanted to go see Vanya and he didn't want to deal with whatever new fantasy Klaus put into his delusional mind.

'Klaus!'

'Fine,' he said and let go of the door, 'but think about this. Any time you are talking about Vanya you never call her your _sister_. You always say she's Vanya or she's family. You call the rest of us brothers and sister but not her. You even say your siblings as if you admit you and her have siblings but never call her _your sister_. You can say she's mine, or Diego's or anyone's sister, but not yours. Ever think about that?'

Five opened his mouth to protest, but just like that he couldn't remember the last time he called Vanya… _that_.

'Good Night, Klaus,' he said finally slamming the door shut on Klaus victorious looking face.

It seriously was the end of the world, if Klaus was playing the smart one around here.

Five looked at his bed.

_No, that won't do._

He teleported to Vanya's room only to catch her running out of her room to the hallway. He blinked rushing after her as she stopped in the bathroom. He heard her throw up. He noticed how Allison tried to go to her, but he beat her to it.

She was by the toilet throwing up and coughing. He was by her side in an instance pulling her hair aside with his fingers stroking it a bit.

Vanya didn't hesitate before she pressed herself against his chest and shoulder melting against him probably from exhaustion of all which happened.

'It's okay, it's fine. You did good,' Five whispered into her ear. It was true. Vanya never had the training he and the others had, yet she managed to stand her ground with her kidnapper. She did very good. He felt utterly proud.

She managed a small nod before she turned around and hid her face into his shoulder and neck like it was the most ordinary thing in the world for them. It felt like it was. It felt like this was right. This is where she belonged, in his arms.

He pulled her into an embrace not caring that she didn't even brush her mouth after she threw up. He just needed her close. He needed to hold her to know she was really there with him, in his arms, safe to finally calm the terrible stomach pain he felt all day not knowing where she was and worried sick wondering of what happened to her.

'You're here,' she mumbled against his pyjama shirt, and he felt like laughing because the only thing on his mind in that moment was that _she_ was the one who was there.

'I'm here,' he said brushing her back softly trying to give her as much comfort as he did himself.

He took a deep breath before he spoke his voice filled with all the worries of that day, of those eight day, of those four decades since he first got stuck, 'I'm sorry I left, I will never leave you again like that.'

'It's my fault,' she said her voice so small, he just held her closer, 'I shouldn't have gone to his house. I just wanted my pills back...he said he was gay,' she chuckled a bit shaking her head against him. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath once again wishing Peabody was alive so he could destroy him.

'It doesn't matter now. You did well. You survived and you made him pay. You did well, Vanya,' he said and found himself kissing her hair feeling all the familiar shampoo. It was the same one they used since they were kids, the one which Five was drown in every time he used to wake up next to her with his hair all over his face almost choking him. Still, until five days ago he would still have given up everything to feel her hair on his face again knowing she was there.

'Five-I don't know what happened,' she mumbled and he shook his head gripping her hair a bit tightly to push her even closer like he couldn't get enough of her, like he needed her closer and closer, 'It doesn't matter. You just did what you had to do to survive. Let's get you off the floor to the bed, okay? I will stay with you.'

He vowed to himself that the next time he would leave her someone would have to be tearing him limb by limb away from her.

He helped her up and led her back to the room, supporting her back. She felt so light. He was almost sure he could lift her up just as easily.

Allison who was still in the hallway touch her arm on the way, and he spotted Luther watching them from close by at the end of the hallway, but he shot him an angry look daring him to come closer. He got her inside and helped her to bed. Her old room was the same as it used to be when he came to focus and listen to her play and when he came to sleep next to her. It even felt the same, cold, small and almost claustrophobic, but with Vanya there it was the most beautiful and happiest place on earth for Five.

As they laid down, he felt all the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. This was where he wanted to be the whole time he was with Comission and the whole time he couldn't find her. This was where he belonged. In a small bed, with them being pressed against each other as close as possible, with Vanya's soft breathing on his face and her arm under his. This was the only place it ever made sense. With her in a tiny bed.

He wished right then and there, that he _never_ had left. He wished he could take it all back. He always regret what happened, but he was too proud to actual accept his blame. He just...he was too prideful for it, until now. Now, he felt it all finally reach him. It wasn't his father, or the Commission or anyone else, just him. He was the one who ran out of the house, he was the one who teleported. He was the one who got stuck and left Vanya alone for seventeen years and he was the one who kept on leaving her over and over again.

He let his fingers into her hair. He always liked her hair, it was so heavy like waves, like someone could get lost in it, drown in it. He wanted to drown in it.

'I kicked him into the knee like you told me to,' she whispered, but in the silence of the room it felt so loud.

Five felt like he could almost smile. Almost. For the first time that day actually.

'Good girl...,' he said feeling incredibly proud for what she did. How she fought. He wished she knew what she did was amazing and brave and he adored her even more for it, 'you should rest now.'

'Why are you in your pyjamas?' she asked suddenly and he lied quickly, 'Because it's time to sleep.'

Technically it wasn't a lie. It was time to sleep, but the fact that _was_ in pyjamas was because of his injures more than the fact that he should go to sleep.

'I was so...so scared,' she said her voice so small.

'I thought that I was going to die. I thought that _that_ was the reason why you didn't find me in the future with the others-'

His heart broke her, right then and there. Funny he didn't even know he had one to begin with, but when it came to her, he felt like he had all these feelings and emotions he tried to hard to burry and convince everyone he didn't possess at all. But when it came to Vanya it was like she was bring all those emotions and feelings back to life.

'Because I already died in his house three days before and you did not find yourself because you left and-'

'I'm sorry,' he said cutting off her speech as she started to cry again. He cursed him and that dead fucker for causing this to her. He hated when she cried. She rarely did, but when she did he freaking hated it so much.

Before he even knew what he was doing he leaned closer and pressed a possessive kiss against her throat. He couldn't find the urge to do that. He felt like he needed to get as close to her as possible and make her...or show her...just touch her differently. Just do something differently with her. He wasn't sure what that something was but the kiss to her throat seemed to satisfied that urge for now.

Someone did this to her. Someone made her feel like this and cause her this trauma and pain and he couldn't even fucking hurt that bastard because he was dead.

He felt a shiver run through her. He knew it was probably odd to kiss her like that. Apart from that one kiss when they were kids and his drunk move on her, he was never this affectionate to her. He hoped she didn't think this was because of what happened and that he would treat her different now. It was and he would, but not in a way that he pitied her, but in a way that he cared for her dearly and wanted her to feel his lo-care.

He stroked her hair again feeling his face warming up.

No, it wasn't odd. It didn't feel odd to kiss Vanya. It never felt odd to kiss her or show affection toward her. He felt embarrassed. He felt awkward if others were there to witness it or point out, but never because of the act itself. Even the strange tightness in his stomach was actually kind of nice once he got ever it.

He pushed the annoying voice in his head which sounded too much like Klaus's to the darkest corner of his mind almost locking it completely, but leaving a small crack in the door for him to think about what it meant later. Both of them had too much bad happen for _this_ to be the most important thing.

'It won't happen again. I won't leave you again, alright?' he asked and he stroke her arm under the blanket, 'This time I will stay with you and stop the apocalypse.'

If today proved him anything then it was that the apocalypse could be stopped, things could be changed. He was here and so was Vanya and that had to mean something. He had to spot the apocalypse. He just had to.

'Of course you wouldn't...you're afraid I would set your books on fire,' she said with a hint of a joke, and he chuckled for the first time that day. It felt good. He felt himself relaxing a bit more in the bed with her knowing she was really there.

'I almost forgot about that, but yes, I wouldn't want them to burn because of our little deal,' he said before silence fell over them again. He remembered the deal he made with her. He told her that if he left and never came back she could set his books on fire. It was trick on his side. How would she know he would never come back? He could always show up out of nowhere, so she couldn't do it.

'He said he had dad's journal,' she whispered silently almost losing her battle with sleep little by little.

This puzzled him, 'What?'

How did that monster manage to get his hands on the journal?

'He said he had it...he showed it to me. I think it was really dad's,' she said and yawned a bit.

She had been through a lot today. She needed to rest, 'Don't worry about it tonight. We have a whole day tomorrow to figure that out.'

'Alright,' she yawned again a bit. All of this damage done to her. Her body, her soul and mind. All of which could have been so easily avoided if only he didn't walk right ahead into the trap made by the Commission.

She heard him let out a frustrated noise before he said, 'I...Vanya, I'm so sorry you had to go through that all alone. I-I should have stayed and been there with you,' he said feeling like the worst scum under the sun. He should have kept her safe. He should have found her sooner, he should have killed the man the first time he saw the way he smiled at Vanya.

Five got lost in his spiral of guilt and anger when he felt Vanya's fingers stroke his cheek a bit so tenderly it caused his stomach to flip again.

Did she always have this effect on him? This calming touch which made him also feel some kind of nervousness inside him, he didn't quite understand. He didn't quite allow himself to understand?

'You were,' came the sound of her voice breaking through his mind analyses.

'What?' he asked confused.

She giggled and he momentarily jerked his head stopping his stroking of her hair before he continued. That sound got to him every damn time. How was it fair that she had such an adorable giggle which startled him with its cuteness? How? He tried to push down the blush and the feeling in his stomach.

'You were this annoying voice in my head telling me not to give up and how to use what I could to get out. In a way,' she stopped her hand on his cheek, 'You were there with me.'

Five was silent after that he felt like she hit him over the head with something heavy. He couldn't function. He literally felt like he couldn't function after that. She...she had him there with her as support. Him.

As ridiculous and if anyone would have asked or suggested it he would freaking lie his ass off, but in true, it made him oddly pleased.

He shifted closer to her, 'Good...,' his voice smaller than usual again, 'I'm glad you weren't alone.'

'Five?'

'Yes, Vanya?'

'If you must leave-'

'-I told you I won't ever-'

'-don't ever leave without a goodbye,' she finished and snuggling even closer to him.

He sighed, 'I won't leave you.' It looked like he would have to prove himself to her...and himself that he could hold up to his promises.

'Just don't do it without a goodbye,' her voice broke a bit at the end as she was close to falling asleep. He watched her face in the dark on the room. He wouldn't leave her. Never. He just wouldn't.

'Alright, Vanya, I promise I won't,' he told her as he continued to stoke her hair long after she fell asleep and long after he heard their siblings go to their childhood rooms.

He stroked her hair breathing her in and convincing his mind that she was here, in the bed, in his arms, safe and sound.

Five felt like hours had passed, but he still couldn't fall asleep. He kept on looking at Vanya trying to let the feeling sink in.

_She's here. She's safe. She's in your arms._

It was strange, but only in the dead of the night, when Vanya was long asleep did he had the courage to voice what he felt the whole time she was missing.

'If...if something happened to you, I think...I know would lose my mind and I'm pretty sure I would die,' he whispered to her, 'I...I don't know, but I was never afraid not like today at least. In the future, I know what I had to do to survive and also with the Commission, but today with you. Not knowing where you were and then not knowing how to help you when you were so shaken, I just felt...I felt so scared like I couldn't breathe,' he said, 'If...if anything happened to you, I would...I would lose it, Vanya,' he said knowing he was speaking the truth. He could feel it from his heart.

He leaned closer to her and kissed her cheek in a kiss which lasted a couple of moments.

When he felt her hand find his cheek again, his heart speeded up, 'I'm okay.'

She wasn't asleep.

_Shit_

'Sorry if I woke you up,' he said and Vanya shook her head a bit, 'No, it's fine. I'm a bit thirsty.'

'I will get you a glass-'

'No, you don't have to,' she started her voice a bit louder and panicked like she didn't want to be a bother as usual or maybe she wanted them to talk about what he just said. Either way, he had to go.

Five shook his head and untangled his limbs from hers, 'I'll be right back...'

He stopped himself as he realized that once again he was leaving. Only to go to the kitchen but still.

She seemed to be reading his mind because she chuckled, 'I don't think it counts if it's under five minutes or less.'

Five barked out a laugh before he took her hand and squeezed it, 'Five minutes or less.'

He teleported from her hold to the kitchen and then back with the glass of water for her. She drank it at one go.

'Careful. Your stomach could still be upset,' he said as she handed him the cup and he put it on the desk.

'Afraid I will get creative with you PJs?' she joked and he smiled. Joking was good. Anything which wasn't filled with sadness and trauma was good.

'Yeah, well, it's my last one here.'

He lied back down immediately snuggling closer to her as she did to him touching each other.

'Right, you brought like a whole wardrobe to my place.'

'Well, you told me to act like home-'

'You changed my locks,' she giggled and once again he felt that tightness in his stomach as it flipped from that incredible sound. This time he didn't flinch at it, just smiled caringly.

'I want you safe,' he said as a matter of fact and sensed that the joking mood was being slowly pushed aside again.

'You can go to sleep now too,' she said suddenly, 'I'm really here now.'

Five was quiet for a moment before he opened and closed his mouth again. Even in the dark some things were hard to say when she was awake, 'I'm not sure I can. I'm scared you won't be here when I wake up.'

'I'm not the one who leaves. I'm the one you can't get rid of even if want to,' she said her voice a bit sadder, 'Remember?'

'I never want to get rid of you,' he said quickly.

'I...I need you close. I always need you close,' he said. Some things are much easier to say in the dead of the night even if she was awake. As long as they would make her feel better.

'I need you close too,' confessed Vanya her voice having a weird edge in it, 'I feel...it feels cold without you. I was too numbed by the pills before to notice but last night was the worst night ever because I was in my bed and it just felt weird and wrong and lacking the warm...and not just the body kind,' she spoke with pauses and he sensed that she was getting embarrassed by her own words.

He dared his fingers to reach out and touch her chin realizing that he felt the same way, 'It's always like that for me when you're not around,' he admitted. Letting his heart open for once for her to glimpse in, 'In the future, with the Commission? Everywhere everything is just cold and you're the only warm thing in my life.'

They stayed silent for a moment. Five wondered if Vanya was also realizing what their confessions meant, or what they could mean if they allowed them to. This was something else. This wasn't a touch or a word caring too much weight which could still be interpreted as friendly or caring or platonic. This was everything out in the open for either one of them to reach it and start something. What that something could be, Five didn't dare to say or think of. He couldn't. The apocalypse was in two days now. They need to rest and stop it before they could deal with anything else, it was just how it was. The order of things was important when it came to protecting the people he cared about...the people he... _loved_.

'We should sleep now,' she said after a moment and he nodded, 'Yes. Let's sleep now.'

He was sure that was the end of it. That whatever their words meant wouldn't be dealt with tonight. He felt torn. He was grateful because how could they deal with it now? After the trauma they both faced today, with the apocalypse approaching, with their siblings in every corner. But did it mean they would never deal with it? They would both just keep it pushed inside? Was that the outcome of this? He didn't want to know. He couldn't bare it today, tonight, now, but at the same time he felt his chest hurting from not knowing if...or what it all meant?

He was sure neither could Vanya and he was safe from any decision, until he felt Vanya shift closer. She moved like a cat, quicker than he had ever seen her before she was face to face with him, and she leaned down to plant the lightest of kisses against the corner of his lips not entirely on the lips, but also too misguided from his cheek to be meant as a peak on the cheek. It lasted a second longer than it should before she returned her head to the pillow.

Both of them had their eyes opened looking at each other. Whatever their words meant...it was clear they were both on the same page about it.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Hi guys, thank you again for the continuing and growing support of this story. I am happy to hear you like it so much and still want to read more and that I did not fucked up with the last chapter since I was so worried to disappoint. Hopefully this one is good as well. I know I usually switch POVs and now it was supposed to be Vanya's but I decided to mix it a bit because it felt easier to write Five these past few days. I think I will make the next one Vanya's POV but it will also slowly lead to the events which did not happen yet in this chapter. Next chapter will be up until Friday maybe sooner, but I have work and I do not want to get your hopes up. Anyway, thank you for all the positive words, and for caring about my mental health. It's very sweet.
> 
> Enjoy

**17 years ago**

When Five felt that someone was shaking him awake he assumed it was Vanya urging him to get up because he slept in and the alarm would start soon. It had been 2 weeks now that he had been sharing a bed with her, and he grew so familiar to someone sleeping next to him, it felt impossible that he would ever be able to fall asleep alone again. It was like his body had memorized Vanya's breath, the warmth of her presence, the weight of her hand on his side and every time something was off, that she shifted in her sleep or turned the other way or got up because she wanted a glass of water, his brain signalled him to wake up because something was wrong.

However, as he sensed one of her hands secured under his over his side and one most likely touching his chest, his eyes flew open and looked up only to find Ben looking down at them.

His heart speed up, panicked, 'What?' His first thought was that they were discovered and that now they would have to separate and he was surprised how intensely that scared him.

'Uh, Klaus decided that we could sneak out today to do something fun,' he said looking between him and Vanya clearly confused. When his eyes landed on Vanya they momentarily stayed there and Five felt this strange stab inside his heart and the urge to cover her. She was asleep in her most vulnerable state. She shouldn't be eyed by anyone let alone someone who was not invited to see her like he was.

He frowned at Ben signaling that he shouldn't look at her even lifting his arm to block his brother's gaze. He felt oddly possessive about it. He was the only one Vanya allowed to share a bed with her, to sleep with her, to see her as she slept. He didn't want anyone else to see her.

'Oh, right, sorry. She looks cute when she's asleep-'

'Get to the point!' snapped Five making sure his frustration was clear even if he kept his voice down for Vanya's sake.

'Right. Klaus told me to get you and Vanya, but you weren't in your room. Guess, now I know why,' he said shooting Five a small smile which made him even more upset. He felt his face getting hot and like he wanted to stand up and run away, but he wasn't a child anymore. He told himself as much as he forced himself to stand his ground.

He got out of the bed, 'I will wake her up and tell her to get dressed.'

'Okay,' said Ben chuckling one more time before he was out.

Five felt humiliated that he caught them like this. Ben shouldn't have seen them. They should have been more careful. Five should have been more careful. He felt oddly more responsible about the whole sharing the bed than Vanya like since he was the one who could teleported he should have been more careful and make sure their secret was safe. He should have been the one protecting it more, so he would protect Vanya from bad dreams.

He shook Vanya awake earning a displeased groan from her, 'What? What is it?'

'Wake up, we're going on an adventure,' he told her and she blinked before she chuckled, 'What?'

'Just get dressed and put a scarf,' he told her before he teleported into his room and quickly threw on his uniform. He got out and rushed to Ben's room. Ben was still getting dressed.

'Listen about what you saw…you can't tell anyone,' he said actually letting his worry show which made him feel weak. He knew that even though their father no matter how careless he acted toward anything they did would not have approved. He was always being his typical asshole self toward all of them, but it felt as if he actually bitter toward Vanya in a way. He ignored her sure, but those things he something caught him to say. It felt even worst for her then for the others. He told her she was ordinary on daily bases, making it sound like it the worst thing in the world to be something like that. Five had a suspicious though. Sometimes, when one of them failed to deliver some sort of result their father would have this look. It was the same look he all so often gave Vanya. Five wondered if perhaps, their father did not consider her to be his greatest disappointment. He adopted her just like he did the rest and she turned out not to have powers. For someone who apparently took the only pride in his work, it must have been his great failure. Five despise him even more for that. Vanya was innocent in all of that. It wasn't like she could have make herself have powers, so he shouldn't be treating her like this and making the others see her like that as well.

He shook his head feeling that he was getting worked up by it again without a reason. He couldn't do anything about it tonight, but he could do something about Ben. He looked up at him not sure if he should use pleading or threatening tactic on him.

'Alright –alright already I won't. I'm just surprised. I mean I noticed you hang out with her often and like to be around her, but I didn't know _this_ much,' said Ben and gave him a grin which made Five want to punch him just a little bit.

'Just don't tell anyone. Especially Klaus. He can't keep a secret for the life of him,' said Five trying to calm down.

'W-what are you t-two girls doing?' asked Diego from the door, 'Let's go a-already.'

Five rolled his eyes at him before he spotted Vanya walked passed Ben's room with a small smile.

He felt Ben step closer and whispered, 'Don't worry. I promise I won't tell.'

* * *

**Now**

Five woke up feeling more tired than he ever did with the events from last night not even leaving him alone in his dreams. Sighing he rolled over to face Vanya again at least in her sleep she looked relaxed, and careless to what happened before. At least someone should have a good rest. She deserved at least that much.

He watched her face for a moment just taking it in. She was older and younger than him at the same time. He didn't really pay attention to it before because he simply didn't have time for it, but after last night it was something he became painfully aware not as it was her flaw, but more like his own. He was the one who left grew old without her and came back looking like a child.

Still, if he didn't return to his thirteen year old body, he still would be twenty eight years older than her. Wouldn't that cause the same feelings he was feeling now? And what was he feeling now anyway? How could he be stressing about something like that when he wasn't even sure if there was something to be stressing about?

He quickly shook his head. It was _not_ the time for this. He got out and went to change before she would wake up, but the moment the bed bounced with the lack of his weight, Vanya sat up, her eyes half closed making her look kind of funny.

'Good morning,' he mumbled before he swallowed a bit, 'You can sleep-in a bit. It's too early anyway.'

He saw the exact moment, reality and the events of last night came back to her as her eyes widened like a deer caught in the car lights, her usual pale face went redder than the communist flag and she looked away.

_Oh dear._

He hadn't even thought about the awkwardness of the whole aftermath of last night.

For a moment it was incredibly hard to look at her and he turned around feeling ashamed. He felt ashamed that he let things get so out of control that now it was like they couldn't work on daily bases together. If he fucked it up and they wouldn't be able to look each other in the eye anymore or be close, he would commit self-violence or something.

'I will go change-'

'Five?'

He turned around. He could tell it was hard for her to look at him for a moment before she said, 'Do it later…let's just laid down for a couple of more minutes.'

He watched her for a moment before he nodded and slowly walked toward her. It felt like she was miles away even if it was like three small steps back to the bed.

He laid beg down, but there was no ease in it as it was during the night. He supposed it was easier to hid himself in the night, so expressing his conflicted feelings was easier.

From the way she was lying next to him tensely it was obvious she felt the same. He wondered what could he possibly say to make this better? To make them not act like this or feel like this?

The knock on the door was a blessing to the both of them based on the relieved sigh which escaped Vanya's lips.

'Hey, are you awake? Mom made breakfast,' said Allison from behind the door.

Five looked over at Vanya.

'Breakfast?'

* * *

**17 years ago**

They all stood up in front of one of the windows.

'It will be better than taking the door, trust me,' said Klaus as if he knew exactly what he was talking about which made the rest of them wonder how often he did this.

They went by one slowly climbing outside. Five purposely stayed behind the help Vanya offering her his hand and shoulder to lean on.

Once they were outside he felt the thrill of knowing they were doing something forbidden together. He kept close by Vanya sensing that Ben sometimes stole a glance at them, but even if he felt embarrassed enough to try to put some distance between them so Ben would stop with the looks, seeing Vanya looking so happy and smiley about their little adventure just wouldn't let him.

'Excited?' he asked her although he already knew the answer to that.

She didn't say anything, but nodded enthusiastically and he couldn't help a small smile. Screw Ben. As long as Vanya was happy, he was happy as well.

'Where are we going?' asked Allison after they passed the street.

'This awesome doughnut shop,' said Klaus proudly earning a groan from Diego, 'S-seriously? I would think you had something more daring for us today.'

'Alright, we can go to this other place, but we would have to ditch the uniforms.'

'Let's stick with simple and not lawbreaking for today,' said Luther suddenly.

'Pussy.'

'Hey-'

'Will you just keep it quiet, knuckleheads?' asked Five finally ending the bricking for a moment.

He watched the dark city around them. People were walking by. He noticed some looked suspicious about a group of kids walking down the city while others paid them no mind. No one stopped them though which was good.

The doughnut shop was still opened and Klaus walked in like he owned the place, which made Five think that he might have been there often.

They had to squeeze themselves a bit, but they fit into one booth.

'It's nice here,' said Vanya only quietly enough for him to hear. He smiled over at her. He let her sit first and made sure that she had enough space while he kept bumping into Diego's elbow. It was annoying, but he managed it.

'Do we even have cash to afford all this?' asked Allison suspiciously before Klaus pulled out a pile of nicely folded bills.

'Where did you get that?' asked Luther immediately, but Number Four just waved at him as the waitress came looking from him to the rest of them, 'I see you brought some friends?'

'Family actually.'

'Okay, sweetie, what will be today?' asked the waitress. It only proved Five's theory that Klaus was here often because she seemed little to not at all bothered by a bunch of thirteen year olds being there so late at night.

'I want like seven out of each,' he said grinning at the woman.

'Are you sure? It will be a lot,' she said, but his grin only grew wider, 'Bring it on!'

That night it was the first time, Five ever felt like they were somewhat of a normal, or ordinary if you like. They were just some stranger kids, misbehaving in the late hours eating too many doughnuts while laughing and chatting and acting like _real_ kids should act. It felt good. It felt freeing in a way, and it made Five realized a bit that even if their father raised them with the sole purpose of doing what he wanted them to of being competition to each other while still a team, not a family, they actually liked each other and could be with each other.

'Oh, I can't eat anymore,' whined Vanya by his side trying to push the small plate with the half eaten doughnut with red colored frosting on top away from her.

'Now, come Vanya,' said Diego and pushed it back toward her over Five, 'Don't be a quitter. We don't allow that kind of behavior in this family.'

She let out another whine, but smiled and took the sweet, 'I wonder which of you will hold my hair when I will be puking.'

Five barked out a laugh trying not to choke while eating.

'And mine,' agreed Allison looking almost with hate at the last piece of a doughnut on her plate.

'Mine too,' said Ben.

'Bro, you got like three hair all together.'

'Shut up.'

'Hey, no fighting tonight, remember?'

He felt Vanya snuggled closer to his side and he wondered if maybe he should give her more space before he looked over at her and she smiled at him. Neither of them said anything, but with the way he smiled back at her. It was clear they were all the happiest they ever felt as a family. It made him wonder how much easier would it be to be happy if it was just the seven of them. No abusive father to criticize them every step of the way and tear them down. Just seven kids supporting and goofing around with each other. Despite their flaws, none of them actually hated the each other. They were a family after all.

By the end of the night, Five was positive that if it was just the seven of them it would be very nice. As Vanya brushed her teeth after throwing up on the payment in front of the house along with Allison and Diego, he even wondered if it wasn't even nicer if it would be just the two of them.

* * *

**Now**

They were all downstairs and Five couldn't help, but wonder if maybe he died yesterday and ended up in some hell where he had to relive the most awkward family breakfast in the history. All of them were sitting behind the table while Grace was humming a song while making breakfast. To say that it was bizarre was an understatement.

At least he had coffee. He kept his eyes on his hands holding the mug trying hard not to glance over at Vanya wondering if she was doing the same while the rest of their siblings were looking from one another to him and Vanya trying to catch their gaze.

'Alright, this feels like after a one night stand when you're force to sit with them and wait for their cab to come,' muttered Klaus.

Five rolled his eyes and looked up at him.

'Do I maybe have some pills left over?' asked Vanya suddenly Grace turned around to look at her, her smile a little strange.

'I don't recall, but I can check for you, dear,' she said.

'Thanks, mom,' mumbled Vanya and looked back down at her mug. It was the first time she spoke since they came downstairs.

Allison was the first to put her hand on hers and ask, 'How do you feel? All things considering?'

'I'm good. A bit overwhelmed, but I think I'm good.'

'Could you maybe tell us what happened?' asked Luther slowly, not in a way, that he wanted to push, her but with a voice which made it clear it was important for her to speak.

Vanya opened her mouth before she looked over at Five. He saw the lack of courage in her eyes and without thinking about what his siblings might take it as, he just reached out and touch her other hand. She needed him. That was all that mattered.

She nodded and started talking to her best knowledge of what happened. It was clear from how she wouldn't meet their eyes that she was ashamed she had fallen into a trap like that. She got to the part of him following her in order to hurt her to hurt them and Five once again felt the burning desire inside him to fucking butcher the man while keeping him alive to feel it all.

He kept his eyes on Vanya the whole time, but sense how their siblings awkwardly stilled or looked at each other realizing that it was _them_ who played a big role in what happened and could have happened to her.

'He was a fucking lunatic,' said Diego finally after Vanya took a breath to sip some coffee.

'I think we should go and find dad's journal,' she said.

Luther shook his head, 'We already went to the house. The journal wasn't there, but we found something else.'

'What?' asked Five frowning as he felt annoyed that they went without him. He wanted to see it with his own eyes that the fucker was dead, but then again if he would see where he was planning to hold and hurt Vanya he would probably lost it.

Allison pulled out her phone, 'We found someone. A woman. Is this the Helen Jones who got missing a few days ago?'

Vanya blinked, 'You know about that?'

Allison nodded and showed her the picture she had taken. Five felt Vanya squeeze his hand tighter before she nodded, 'T-that's Helen. So he…'

'Yeah,' said Allison slowly. Five saw how pale Vanya got all of the sudden and he didn't blame her. Apart from last night she never even saw a dead body, let alone someone she knew. This was still new and traumatizing for her.

He let his thumb brush her knuckles a bit for comfort.

Vanya swallowed a bit, 'God, everyone was so confused why didn't she showed up for the auditions. It was so not like her.'

'We should probably talk about what you want to do now,' started Allison again ignoring Five's frowns.

'Because of Helen the situation changes. We need to get the police involved,' said Allison and Vanya nodded, 'I understand that.'

'No,' said Five suddenly and they all looked at him, 'Accident or not the police can take her in which would mean she wouldn't be with me. That's exactly what the Commission wants.'

Vanya looked over at him confused, 'What?'

He pulled out the order he had been carrying around in his pajamas now and showed it to her. Vanya let go of his hand and read it, her confusion furthering. She turned the paper around and then back before she looked at Five, 'I don't get it.'

'This is a direct order from the person responsible for the Apocalypse. For whatever reason the only way for them to know to actually cause the Apocalypse is for you and I to be separated. That's why they showed up two days ago and offered me a job to get away from you, and look what happened.'

Vanya looked back at the paper and then at Five. He knew her well enough to guess what was running through her mind.

_How could someone like me stop the Apocalypse?_

She looked at him again and then at the others, 'I don't understand it.'

'Maybe there is a point to. If Five didn't came back,' started Diego, 'We wouldn't be looking for you and find you. You would probably ended up in the police station in holdup.'

'Exactly which means you _cannot_ end in the police station for whatever reason, understood?' asked Five his voice dominate. He saw Vanya frown a bit and something flash behind her eyes, but she held her tongue. He was almost curious to ask, when Allison spoke.

'It makes sense, think of all which happened to prevent it. The Commission lured Five away, try to get out an order for you guys to stay separated, Peabody kidnapped you-'

'Five got shot,' added Luther suddenly.

Vanya let out a gasp and turned immediately to Five her voice high pinched, 'You got shot?!'

If looks could kill Luther would have been a goner with the draggers Five shot at him before he felt Vanya yanked him by the color of his pajama shirt pulling him to look at her, 'You were shot?'

He looked at her momentary confused why was it so… _interesting_ to watch her be so upset on the bridge of angry. Especially in his teenage developing body.

_Jesus this body had teenage boy hormones, doesn't it?_

'I was scratched,' he corrected her trying not to show how much it was affecting him.

'Technically, he had a shrapnel,' cut in Klaus earning the second glare from Five as he grinned at him like the daredevil that he was.

_Fucking siblings!_

'I knew you didn't just _wear_ pajamas,' said Vanya and suddenly they all felt all the silver and glasses in the kitchen shake lightly.

'What was that?' asked Allison suspiciously, but no on looked wiser about it.

'It was nothing, and I'm better now, and _you_ should have kept that to yourself since it's not your freaking business,' said Five to Vanya and then to Luther.

Vanya looked ready to tell him something else when Pogo showed up.

'I'm sorry to cut into the family meetings,' said Pogo, 'But it appears that there are a couple of police officers heading to the house.'

Luther, Diego and Five stood up at that.

'I should go talk to them,' said Vanya.

'No,' said all the siblings united.

Five shook his head, 'We have to get you out of her before they come.'

'What are you insane?'

'Vanya, the apocalypse happens because the two of us are separated. I can't be with you if you are taken by the police,' said Five firmly.

Vanya shook her head before she looked at the rest of her siblings. It was clear they were all on the same page as Five on this one.

'What do I do?'

'Just go upstairs for now. We'll text you in case they actually start to search the house,' said Luther and already handed Five his phone.

There was a loud banging on the door, before Five took her hand, 'Just take a deep breath, alright?'

She gave him a short nod before suddenly he teleported with her to the attic.

He caught her as she almost felt backwards the shock of being teleported while she was still sitting to a standing position as well as the fact that she was actually teleported was clear on her face and posture.

'That was…oh God. How do you do it?' she asked her voice a bit squeaky.

He guided her down to sit on one of the old dusty chairs while he stood next to her the phone in his pocket in case Luther texted him, 'You'll get used to it eventually.'

Vanya brushed her arm a bit trying to calm down. He got used to the claustrophobic feeling of being sucked into something a size of a keyhole, but for her it was a new experience all together.

She looked up at him after a moment of composing herself, 'It's a new trick though. Dad always wanted you to take some with you, but you never did.'

Five rolled his eyes, 'Dad was an arrogant prick who wanted us to do things he himself did not understand,' he went quiet for a moment before he said, 'In the post-apocalypse, when I found Dolores I tried to teleport with her. I figured if I could do it with my clothes still on an occasional small object I could do it with her as well.'

Vanya smiled at that. This time she didn't try to hide it behind her hair. Five had the oddest feeling of pride that she was coming out like that, 'You didn't want to leave her behind.'

'Of course, I didn't,' he said as a matter of fact, 'She's was my only friend there, and she was just as alone as I was. I would never leave her behind. It took me a while. Way longer than dad always assumed it would before I finally got to it. Still, I was a bit surprised I teleported with you. I didn't have time to try it out on a person with a beating heart and everything.'

Vanya gasped looking shocked, 'You didn't know if it was safe-?'

'I knew it was safe, I just didn't know if it would work, but then again I'm really good at it, so,' he shrugged his shoulders with a smug grin.

Vanya shook her head before she chuckled and sighed, 'It's a good trick though. Apart from the feeling of wanting to puke, it's very interesting.'

He smirked smugly at her, 'Oh, it's more than interesting. Admit it, there's a bit of a thrill to have yourself be pushed like that through such a small space.'

She giggled clearly forgetting all about the danger of being taken by the police.

'Oh, please,' she said and there was no way in hell that he could let that go by just like that. It was a challenge.

He grabbed her hand before she could object, and teleported them closer to the window of the attic. She let out a startled yelp before she covered her mouth. She didn't look too amused, 'Five, knock it off.'

'Say that I'm right.'

'You're a control freak, that's what you are,' she said, but not in a mean way. It was like she was teasing him a bit.

He pulled her closer to him making sure she knew he was holding her hand signaling that he could easily teleported them again if they wanted to.

He gave her a warning look, 'Say. It.'

She opened her mouth. There was daring in her eyes. He almost expected her to purposely fight him on this to cause a reaction. He found it very alluring, thrilling in a way he couldn't really explain.

She leaned closer and opened her mouth, and suddenly he had the strangest urge enter his mind. He wanted to kiss her. With her eyes shining with defiance and them alone in the dim light of the attic and her so close. He just…wanted to kiss her again.

For a microsecond her eyes landed on his lips or maybe it was just his imagination, but it was as if something shifted behind Vanya's eyes. Something not so sweet, innocent and pure. Something a bit rebellious, wild and unstoppable, he never saw inside her before, but craved to see even more because of it.

Her hand felt warm inside his and he wondered that if he kissed her now. In his thirteen year old body, in the daylight, how would she react? Would she accepted it, or stop it? Somehow, he felt more draw to the first possibility of that dilemma.

'No-Oh my God,' she said looking out of the window.

He quickly looked outside as well only to see the police pulling Diego outside in handcuffs.

'What the-?'

The phone went on and he picked up.

'What's going on?' he asked quickly.

'Patch, the detective lady friend of Diego's who was killed by Hazel and Cha-Cha. They think it was him. They're taking him into custite for now,' said Allison and both Five and Vanya looked at each other.

_Well shit!_

* * *

**17 years ago**

Number Five waited until the next day before he confronted Number Six.

'Did you tell him?' he asked furious. With not being able to be with Vanya anymore and her getting almost turned into a zombie with her pills, Five spent a lot of time thinking about two things time travelling and how the hell did Reginald find out, until he remembered that there was one other person who knew about them.

Ben looked up from his book, 'Tell who, what?'

'Dad came to my room the other day and made me promise to never step foot into Vanya's room and her into mine again,' said Five growing angrier with each word, 'He said he knew she was sharing a bed with me for a while. _A while_. Want to explain how the hell did he know that?'

Ben put the book down marking with a dog ear the page, 'Look, I'm sorry dad found out, but that wasn't me. I promised you I wouldn't tell him-'

'Yeah, like you promised Klaus you wouldn't tell dad, he has been communicating with our old nanny?' he snapped at him. This occurred a week ago. No one knew about it, but Klaus has started to be bothered by their old nanny who wouldn't let him sleep telling him about how she fell down the stairs when they were four. Five didn't even remember that someone had died in the house, and neither did the rest of them. They all assumed she just left and was replaced with Grace who was more obedient than anyone else to take care of them.

'That was an accident-'

'Yeah, which got you out of the testing for that day. I know about that too. You snitched on Klaus and got a reward. Did you do that to me as well?' he asked frowning at his brother.

Ben stood up and shook his head getting upset as well, 'Shut up! It wasn't like that. I have been begging dad for months that I didn't want to do it anymore. Can you imagine how much it hurts? I don't get to jump whenever I want or throw a knife or make a rumor. I have this thing inside me which hurts like hell and makes me feel sick every damn time-'

'Did you tell dad or not? This is serious he said he would sent Vanya to a boarding school in England. Do you understand what you could have done?' demanded Five.

'You know what,' snapped Ben upset, 'Screw you. I didn't snitch on you, but I don't care what you think and for that alone, I wish he would sent Vanya away so that maybe you would finally shut up about her and realize there are more siblings in this house-'

That was the first time in Five's life he ever punched his sibling if it wasn't because of practice. It was the first time he actually wanted to cause them pain. It was also the first time he ever felt so sick to his stomach from it.

His eyes widened and he got down on next to Ben, 'Oh God, Ben-I-'

Ben took a couple of deep breaths before he put his hand away, 'Is it okay?'

Five checked for damage, 'Yeah, no blood or broken anything. Maybe you will have a shiner though.'

Ben sighed shaking his head.

'I'm sorry,' said Five looking at him, 'I just-'

'Save it. I'm sorry too. That was probably the worst thing I ever said to you,' said Ben looking away, 'I swear, I didn't tell dad. I don't know how he found out, but I can help you figure it out.'

Five shrugged his shoulders, 'It won't change anything. The only thing which will is for me to go back in time and stop dad from finding out all together.'

Ben blinked, 'Is that why you were so desperate to figure it out? So you can…be with Vanya without dad sending her away?'

Five shook his head feeling a bit embarrassed, 'No, well, a little bit, but I always wanted to time travel. This is just one of the things which I would change I guess. The first on my list.'

Ben nodded before he smiled a bit, 'Sounds good.'

'Thanks. I still don't know if I have the right equations though. I need to work more. I'm sorry again,' he said and helped Ben up.

'Don't sweat it.'

* * *

**Now**

Five got finally dressed and left his room. It was the first time he left Vanya alone that day after she assured him that as long as he was in the house it didn't count as leaving.

They still did not agree what to do about Diego, who went on his own with the police claiming he would figure out a way to get out on his own. Despite their differences, Five trusted Diego's skills and knew that if anyone could do it, it was him. Still, he would feel better if he could help.

As he was on his way to find Vanya, he spotted Allison and Luther talking about something in hushed voice by the end of the hallway. He couldn't hear them, but they looked nervous and worried about something.

He walked toward them, 'Everything okay?'

They instantly stopped talking before they nodded, 'Sure, we're just talking about what to do with Diego.'

Five frowned a bit. He wasn't sure he believed them. Something was once again off.

'You sure?'

Allison gave him a confused look, 'Yeah, why? Is everything okay with you?'

Unlike Luther and Diego who he could read clearly, Five had no idea if Allison was lying or not. Maybe it was the former rumor thing, or the good actress career, or maybe her own talent of being a good liar, but he honestly didn't know. He just had a weird feeling.

'I need to call my ex,' she said suddenly and turned around to nod at Luther who looked shifty, but nodded as well. Maybe they were talking about their situation with each other and her daughter and ex. Still, he had a weird feeling about it.

They both went to the direction of the stairs and Five really felt like something was going on which they purposely were not telling him about.

Despite the fact that he knew he was always welcome, he politely knocked before he opened the door.

Vanya was standing in front of her bed looking down at her violin inside the open case. She didn't seem to have noticed him as she just stared at the object in front of her. Five noticed that the storm was getting worse outside with the added wind.

'Hey, are you alright?' he asked slowly.

Vanya turned around jerking a bit. She really did not notice him.

She was quick to close the case and set it down under the bed before she herself sat down on the bed,

'Yeah, just thought about…well everything,' she confessed her previous shyness returning.

'I heard you got the first chair,' he said and Vanya sighed, 'Yeah, because apparently my competition was killed off.'

'Don't say that,' said Five shaking his head and stepped closer.

'You got it because you're _that_ good. Both of us know it,' he told her openly. He should know how good she was. He used to hear her all the time when they were kids. And that day he went with the commission? It was breathtakingly beautiful.

She didn't smile but nodded all the same.

'Do you feel like playing?' he asked slowly, not wanting to upset her too much.

'Maybe a bit later, if that is okay?' she asked and he shook his head, 'Everything is okay if you want it that way.'

Vanya nodded, 'Good.'

Five felt once again the same awkwardness in her presence. She was still dealing with all that had happened and he didn't know how to help her, how to ease her mind. He felt so…useless sometimes when it came to her. How was it that he had a mad set of skills, could teleport and was the smartest person in his whole family and yet when it came to Vanya he just…got nothing sometimes.

'Hey, can you explain to me the whole…orders from Commission?' she asked suddenly her voice not so weak as it sounded before cutting his train of depressing thoughts.

'I still don't' get how does you and I being together stop the apocalypse,' she said sounding curious.

He nodded and sat down next to her on the bed, 'Well, the management creates a very details scenario of the event they wish to achieve using mostly analyses and observation as well as all the information they get from the field agents to secure the timeline,' he started to explain calmly.

Vanya looked like she was thinking about all, and it made him feel a bit self-aware that he was letting her into _this_ part of his life. The life he rather not think about when he was with her.

'So they give orders to kill the people like Martin Luther King and -'

'No,' said Five and shook his head, 'They create a scenario where the most likely outcome is to …let's say kill Martin Luther King. They do things like cause engine problems, or poison your local meat guy to cause someone to be late for work. In fact they kill literally anyone except the person who needs to die.'

'That sounds like going the long way instead of the shortcut,' she pointed out.

'True, but the key is to make it look like an accident or like someone else did it. It's forbidden in anyway way for anyone to know that the Commission is real and what it does.'

'So how do you think we stop the apocalypse by being together?' she asked and Five shook his head, 'It could be anyway. Usually it's the smallest of the thing which leads to such events you would never imagine. Whatever Dot, the person responsible for apocalypse events, thought up would only worked if we were separated.'

Vanya sighed before she looked down at her hands, 'I don't get it. What could I do? I'm not special. I'm…ordinary, Five. No powers or anything useful to add.'

Five watched her for a moment. All her life this was the main struggle of hers. Being ordinary. Something their father burnt into her brain with his words and actions making it sound like being ordinary meant being useless, worthless, powerless. Something Five never wanted Vanya to feel every again.

He touched her arm for a moment, 'Well, apparently, when it comes to the Apocalypse you're one of the two most important people in the world,' he told her earning a surprised look, before her lips pulled into a warm and sweet smile.

'That's a nice thought even if a bit scary.'

'You don't have to be. I'm here now. And there is literally nothing the Commission can do to take me away from you,' he said looking at her. He wondered if she realized that he didn't just mean it because he wanted to stop the Apocalypse.

Something shifted behind her eyes again, and he was sure she knew.

'So the Commission, your formal employees are the bad guys in this story? Well, them and Le-Peabody,' she said suddenly. He hated how her voice broke a bit when saying that assholes name, but she was still looking at him not shying away.

'Yeah, they're messed up like that. They have their belief system and nothing can break through it,' he said and shrugged his shoulders.

Vanya watched him for a moment and he wasn't sure what was going on through her mind, 'For what it's worth. I know we haven't talked about it before with Luther there, but I don't think you're a bad person because you did what you have to do to get back. I know you…I really know, Five. So if you feel like you need to apologize or make up for whatever you needed to do. You don't. Not to me, or anyone in this family at least. You were forgiven the moment you did it by us,' she told him catching him completely off guard because there was still this small part of him which was wondering how she was accepting all of it and he was worried if she ever would. He wondered if maybe she wasn't just pushing the whole thing away so she wouldn't have to deal with it, just like they were pushing everything else away.

He leaned toward her and pulled her into a tight embrace. He wasn't a hugger. God knows, he hated when people touched him without his permission, but Vanya. He wanted her close. His body, mind, even soul if he had one, wanted her as close as possible.

She immediately hugged him back. With the way she stroke his hair and back, so tenderly and lovingly, there was no way she saw him as a monster. There was just no way, she saw him as anyone else than Five, just like he always saw her just as Vanya.

'You're also not marked by defending yourself, okay?' he told her suddenly and she nodded against him.

'I mean it. You did what you had to do to survive, and I'm so proud of you for that,' he told her and turned his head to kiss her cheek. It was a nice sensation to do so.

Vanya nodded again before she gently nudged him away, 'There's something I want to tell you though. About yesterday. About what happened.'

He felt panic rose inside him. Could she honestly want to talk about last night and what it meant? Now? He wasn't sure he was ready. He wasn't sure he would ever be ready.

Vanya took his hand, 'When I was in that basement,' he didn't feel relieved by her words though, 'oh Five, I can't even explain it. It…I was fighting him on the ground. He was on top of me, and then this screwdriver cut his neck and landed next to my head. I…Five whatever happened, that…I don't know but I was on the ground and the screwdriver came from behind him, and that wasn't me and there wasn't anyone around.'

Five blinked confused. She didn't tell them about how exactly she got out, so this sounded very strange. Based on the others said, he assumed she fought him and got the upper hand, but this sounded strange.

He looked at her face carefully studying it.

'What are you saying?'

Vanya shook her head looking almost like she was ready to give up, like she thought her idea was insane and stupid and that she shouldn't even say. Something he always hated when she did as a child dismissing her idea simply because she had such low self-esteem, 'I don't know, but this is ridiculous.'

His other hand was on her cheek, 'Tell me. Whatever it is - just tell me.'

Vanya shook her head again before she opened and closed her mouth several times, 'He sounded…he made it sound like he thought that I wasn't ordinary. And I felt…ever since a couple a days ago I felt this…pressure inside of me and how it was slowly building up inside me more and more until it would be ready to burst only every time it did something happened. I can't explain it, but it almost looks like I…like I have-'

'Hey, can we talk?' asked Allison busting in which caused both Five and Vanya to jump away from each other even if they weren't doing anything.

Five felt his face warming up, but by the serious look on Allison's face, he quickly recorder.

'What's this about?' he asked. He wondered if it was so important that she had to barge in, not to mention he wanted to hear what Vanya wanted to say first.

'I need to speak with Vanya,' said Allison firmly.

Vanya blinked before she looked at Five and pat his knee, 'It's okay, we will…talk later about this. No rush.'

He felt like arguing. He felt like he should pressure her more to tell him what she wanted so say, but with the calm look on her face and plea in her eyes it was obvious she wanted to talk to Allison first.

Five got from the bed and slowly walked out as if he was hoping she would change her mind, while Allison walked in and closed the door.

He watched it for a couple of moments before he made his way downstairs still feeling uneasy about the abruptly cut short conversation.

Downstairs Klaus on the couch while Luther stood by the window. He could see the look on his face and the tension in his posture. Something was going on. Something they were hiding from Five.

'Alright, what's going on?' he snapped causing Klaus to jerk almost spilling his _water_? Seriously? Five didn't even know he could drink non-alcoholic drinks.

Luther turned toward him, 'I don't know what you mean.'

'You and Allison were whispering about something before and now you look like a tiger inside a cage. What's wrong?' he demanded.

Luther swallowed a bit hard, 'I-I don't know what you mean.'

'Jeez, bro, you suck at lying,' said Klaus and got up as well, 'You and Allison have secrets now? I thought we were bonding nicely.'

Luther shot him a desperate look, 'It's nothing.'

'It's not thing if you're all worked up about it. Spill it out,' said Five getting frustrated.

'Yeah,' said Klaus joining in.

Luther looked from one to another before he said, 'We…we went to Peabody's house and found dad's journal,' he started slowly.

'I thought you said it wasn't in the house,' said Klaus confused.

'He lied,' filled in Five now seeing thought his brother's secrecy.

Luther sighed, 'Yes, but…look there are stuff you don't know, so we couldn't tell you yet.'

'You and Allison or also Diego-'

'Just Allison and I, look, we're just trying to figure this out-'

'FIGURE WHAT OUT?!' shouted Five ready to punch Luther again if he didn't freaking start getting to the point.

'Vanya apparently has-'

Suddenly two windows broke with the force of the wind and the chandelier on top started to shake. The storm outside was bad.

'What the hell is that?' asked Klaus looking around.

' _He sounded…he made it sound like he thought that I wasn't ordinary. And I felt…ever since a couple a days ago I felt this…pressure inside of me and how it was slowly building up inside me more and more until it would be ready to burst only every time it did something happened. I can't explain it, but it almost looks like I…like I have-'_

' _Vanya apparently has-'_

Five's mind came to the only conclusion when the third window cracked, 'Powers.'

He didn't waste time and teleported upstairs in front of her room seeing the whole house was shaking before it suddenly stopped.

'Allison! Vanya!' he heard Luther shout as he was running through the stairs.

Five teleported inside the room only to find Vanya trying to lift the large piece of wall which separated her room from Ben's old one that had collapsed and fallen right on top of Allison who was lying on her stomach not moving.

'Jesus,' he breathed out before he went to help her, but not even with the two of them they couldn't move her.

Luther finally showed up and got her out.

'What did you do?!' he yelled at Vanya who stood up shaking her head. She was crying and she looked panicked the wind around them returning.

Five had the worst feeling that if Luther wasn't holding onto Allison for dear life he would actually hurt Vanya.

'I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't mean to. We talked and she…and she …and the room …,' she said putting her hands into her hair pulling at it. She looked so terrified Five let go of Allison's hand and got in front of her. She was standing in the middle of the storm, the chaos desperate for salvation, and he couldn't not save her.

He pulled her hands out of her hair, 'It's fine. It's not your fault. You need to calm down, now.'

Vanya shook her head and he saw her brown eyes started to change color becoming brighter, 'I can't-I can't….I…Five?'

Without a second thought he teleported them to the kitchen where he brought out a paper bag from one of the draws.

'Oh dear, what's wrong?' asked Grace, but he ignored her and handed her the paper bag, 'Just breath, alright. Nice and steady. Just breath. Allison will be fine. She will be fine, Vanya, but you need to calm down.'

_Before you tear the house apart._

Vanya used the paper bag and closed her eyes. The house didn't stop to shake though.

Five held her shoulders, 'Listen to my voice. I'm here with you, and it's going to be alright. Whatever it is it's going to be fine. Just nice and steady breathing, alright?'

She nodded several times, but when she opened her eyes they were brown again, and little by little he felt the house go still.

He couldn't help a big smile broke into his face, 'Good girl.'

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead putting all of what he felt in that moment into, 'You did well. Keep breathing, alright?'

She nodded and after a moment pulled the bag away from her mouth, 'God, oh, god, Five…what did I do?'

He brushed her hair and kissed her one more time on the forehead, 'It's okay. You lost control and got it back. It's fine.'

She gazed into his eyes looking as if she was seeking for some sort of fear or doubt, but there wasn't one. He didn't know what was going on yet, but he knew that he could deal with it and so could Vanya and that was that mattered.

'I'm scared,' mumbled Vanya.

'You can be, but I'm not. So I will be brave for the both of us, alright?' he asked and looked at her adoringly. Knowing now more than ever that there was nothing Vanya could do which would make him…love her less just like she wouldn't care less for him after what he did for the Commission.

She knew him. All of him. She knew he could be an asshole, pragmatist looking for an easy way out. She knew he could be a killer, a monster who hurt innocent people if it was what needed to be done, and yet she gave him forgiven like it was the most easiest thing in the world. She let him into her life, her apartment, her bed. She let him do whatever he wanted and needed always by his side. She just… _God_.

Now holding her and looking into her brown eyes filled with panic about something she did. Something destructive she could do if she wasn't careful enough if she wasn't in control enough, and yet something so incredible and beautiful he couldn't help, but feel amazed by.

He should be scared. He should assume the worst. Vanya had powers. Powers which could not be controlled. Powers which could hurt people, kill people even. But none of that scared him. He didn't even feel worried about it. He felt….he just fell…he couldn't even explain it what he felt as he stood there with her.

As he watched her eyes all he wanted to do was lean down and kiss her again and convince her it would all be alright. In that moment, he just knew that it was true what everyone assumed, some with some without words, but almost everyone knew when they looked at them.

With that thought sinking in and someone coming downstairs, he realized what he knew all along.

_No, he never saw Vanya as a sister._

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: First thing, please don't hate me. I know. I know. Many of you did not want Vanya to be locked up, but this really just felt like something she would have actually do if things worked out differently in the canon, so…sorry not sorry? Also the ending was supposed to end different but I thought of something at the last moment also sorry not sorry? :(
> 
> Oh, and no this little kiss. Is not their first actual kiss. You will have to stick to find out about that one. :)
> 
> I decided not to write Vanya's POV from the last chapter because some things didn't sit right with me.
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for the continuing support you show this story. I hope it's still interesting for you because I honestly feel more and more unsure about these chapters.
> 
> I will try to have next chapter by Monday or Tuesday latest? Might be sooner, but again no promises since I won't be able to write at all on Friday.
> 
> Anyway, let me know, what you think if you want and enjoy

**Now**

Vanya wondered how it all came down to this. To the moment when she felt like everything around her was literally crashing down and all she could do was stand and watch as her world would collapse. Everything felt too bright, or too loud, or just _too_ much. Her hands wouldn't stop shaken, and her thoughts were all over the place. Jumping from Allison, to what happened, to Peabody, to her father, to Diego, to Five, to the house, to literally every single thing around her making it impossible to be still. She felt like she couldn't form a logical straight thought with the mess inside her head.

As she watched the long table in front of her, in their basement kitchen, she started to recall moments of when she was stubbornly refusing to eat oatmeal or broccoli or just eat in general. She remembered Grace was the first one who ever got her to eat. With everything going on that should have been the last thought on her mind, but for some reason it felt incredibly important.

Vanya brushed her forehead trying to remember something as if the memory of something important was trying to break free from her subconscious, but wouldn't.

Maybe she was just losing her mind all together. Maybe the pills were actually keeping her sane and now after several days without them she was losing it which would explain why she suddenly thought she had powers, or her family gave a crap about her, or why she thought there was something going on between her and Five. It was all in her head, just like she had hoped when she was younger. Maybe she just finally fallen a victim to her fantasies.

Her ears always seemed to focus on the tapping of the opened window near the sink.

When Klaus gave her the glass of Scotch she almost ripped it from his hand in the quick way she reached for it. She was still shaking, but the contact on the bottom of the glass remained inside it.

'Whoa, slow down there, sis,' he said watching as she poured it down her throat without a break before she gave him the glass.

There were many things running through her mind all at once creating a chaotic mess. She wondered if this was how Five felt at times, when he would stop talking and start about something else before he would have to write something completely different down into his notebook. This was how he used to appear to her when they were kids always thinking, always moving, never still unless he was sleeping and even then Vanya imagined his dreams were filled with new theories, formulas, equations which he had to research or write down. She used to be worried that his mind was simply too fast for his own brain and that he would fry it one day out.

'If I knew you were this fun, Vanya. I would have taken you out drinking ages ago,' said Klaus. She offered him a half grimace not sure what to say, before she looked over at Five.

He was going over their father's journal and then back to Klaus who was offering her a smile.

'Do you know about Allison?' she asked her voice weak since the room shook and the wall literally collapsed, she didn't see her sister yet. So far it was Grace, Pogo, Allison and Luther upstairs and the three of them downstairs with no contact with one another.

Klaus grimaced a bit before he said, 'Well, Luther basically barricaded himself with her in the medical room. Mom and Pogo took care of her.'

'God,' she let out and felt all the dishes around them start to shake.

'Remember what I said,' said Five, his eyes not leaving the pages of the journal.

_Deep breaths and thinking of nice and calm things not things like you almost killing your sister._

'Vanya,' said Five still not even looking up from the page.

She took in a deep breath and tried to recall the time they were all kids maybe seven or eight and they had a competition on who would make the other laugh faster.

Klaus won that time.

The room went silence again. She didn't understand how he could do this. How he could just be so calm and sure about this. She just caused the wall to collapse, several windows and glasses to break, hurt their sister, not to mention kill Leon-Peabody. Yet, here he was just _so_ calm about it, it made her even more nervous. She wished she would just stop shaking. She wished Pogo or Grace would come down and tell them how was Allison. She wished they got Diego out. Above all she wished Five would put the damn journal down finally say something to make sense of all of this. In that moment, looking so careless to her struggles, he reminded her more than ever of their father.

'Hey, there is irony in it if you think about it,' started Klaus.

Vanya looked at him desperate. She was grateful he stood by her and was trying to ease her mind of what was happening, but this was not helping her at all.

'You're a woman and a literal storm,' he said and nodded at her like she was supposed to know what that mean.

'That makes no sense,' she said shaking her head once again the tapping of the opened window causing her to get even more annoyed than before.

'Pop culture reference?' he tried to hint, but she shook her head almost defeated.

When she heard the doorbell go off, she groaned in pain covering her ears. Everything felt so loud almost making her ears bleed. She just wished everything would shut the hell up.

Glasses shook again and she cursed under her breath.

'I will get it,' said Klaus and ran upstairs while Vanya tried to calm down again. It was like whatever was inside her-the power-inside her no longer needed to gather itself to burst out. She could feel it right under her skin at the tip of her fingers ready to spread out without a second thought if she let it. Only sometimes she wasn't so sure it was up to her at all.

She couldn't help herself but started to bit at her nails. It wasn't something she often did, but the absence of the pills and unleashing of her emotions brought out feelings of anxiety they used to suppress.

'That's not nice,' she heard Five say. She looked over at him feeling a sudden anger toward his calm presence when she was on the bridge of losing her shit.

She got up, 'Did you find something? _Anything_.'

'Not yet,' he said and she just lost it with his incredibly calm façade and the fact that he not once looked at her since he started to read Hargreeves's journal. She pressed her hand against the pages to stop him from reading.

He sighed and looked up at her. He looked so disinterested she always wanted to break a glass or something to get his interest.

'This isn't helping,' she said and gritted her teeth.

'I understand, you're freaking out, but _this_ is not helping,' he said and tapped his finger against her palm, 'This?' he took the journal from under her hand to show it to her, 'Might.'

'No, Five, I can feel it. Every second it's getting more and out of control and that stupid window just keeps on tapping,' the last part of that sentences was almost cried out right before the window shattered into little pieces all over the counter and the floor.

Vanya watched it in silence for a moment before she stepped away from Five, 'I need my pills.'

'That's a temporary solution,' argued Five immediately and finally setting the journal to the side.

'Well, right now, temporary sounds great because I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm literally-'

A glass broke near them and she groaned the frustration getting to her and making her jittery, '-breaking things.'

'Grace told you there are no pills in the house.'

'Then go get me some, _please_ ,' she said her voice pleading.

'I'm not leaving you this close to the apocalypse.'

'Then let's send Klaus-'

'A drug addict to the pharmacy?' he raised his brows at the idea, 'Either way, you have prescription medication you need to pick up yourself -'

'I can't leave the house like this. I would literally tore down the city-'

'More like the world according to this,' he said and looked down at the journal, 'From dad's words you could do all sorts of stuff.'

'Yeah, stuff which made him so afraid of me that he dosed me with drugs and made sure that I felt like shit so that I wouldn't get too excited about this,' she mumbled grumpily the dishes shaking again around them.

'Happy thoughts,' he said and shot her one of his smug grins, she just wanted to slap out of his face.

She took a deep breath again and tried to think about nice things like practicing her violin before she realized she wouldn't even be able to attend the concert.

'What?' he asked and took her hand into his the dishes finally stopped to shake. Her face must have given her away.

'I just realized that I won't be playing tonight,' she said. The frustrated pushed away by sadness and defeat. Her big break and she couldn't even go play. Not that she would now knowing that she probably only got the part because a lunatic killed her competition.

Five showed her solidarity in a short nod and squeeze of her hand, 'I'm afraid, no. You can't risk it to go outside. According to dad all your powers are tied to sounds. Playing the violin right now could be a catastrophe.'

'Or an apocalypse,' she mumbled before she met his eyes again, 'You had have thought about it.'

'Yes, but it doesn't matter. The apocalypse only happened because I wasn't there and we weren't together. Now we are, so there is nothing the commission could do to cause it now-'

'Uh, guys, we got company,' said Klaus cutting them off as he came down to the kitchen with a man pointing a gun at him.

Vanya gasped the room starting to shake again, while Five stepped in front of her, 'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'

Hazel looked around the shaking room before he lowered the gun and put it away completely.

Vanya blinked confused by the action, 'Sorry, force of habit. I came in peace. Sort of.'

'Sounds like a bluff, but go on,' said Five as Klaus noticed he wasn't held at gunpoint and jumped away only to rush to Vanya's side.

'The Handler showed up today. Gave Cha-Cha and I a new assignment.'

Five stepped closer. Vanya couldn't see his face, but from his voice it was clear he had that cocky smirk on, 'Let me guess. The old bat ordered to kill me.'

'Actually, she ordered to protect Vanya Hargreeves,' said Hazel slowly before looking at her. Vanya felt sick to her stomach. If even the commission wanted her safe it meant...it could mean that the only way to stop the apocalypse...stop her would be...

She felt Klaus's hand on her back, 'I shouldn't be here.'

Five momentary shot a glance at her. His jaw was tight as it was obvious he wasn't pleased with her words in that moment, but he said nothing.

'So what you're here to offer your serviced as a guard dog?' he asked Hazel, but the man shook his head, 'No, I'm going to get my girl.'

This caused shock to all three of them, 'I just came to warn you. The Handler's really pissed and she obviously has a lot bet on the apocalypse. She sent me and Cha-Cha for now, but once she realizes we failed she will sent others.'

'Oh great, a whole house of assassins. Sounds like a fun time,' said Klaus by her side. Vanya looked at Five, but he didn't move just started at Hazel for a while, 'Thanks for the heads-up. We appreciate it.'

The man nodded looking a bit hesitated for a moment before he said, 'Also can I just say. I'm a big fan of Calhoun. What you did there...legendary, man.'

Vanya blinked and looked down at Five again. Obviously he meant his previous work. She could see how Five's shoulders tense momentarily forgetting about her own drama and wanting to reach out to him for support, but somehow still feeling shy with Klaus being in the room and the other man. It was one thing to be open with him, when it was just the two of them, but with others she always felt too self-aware, too judged and laughed at. Over thinking was a terrible little monster always inside your head feeding you with words you couldn't suppress or block out controlling how you would feel.

'Look, thanks for that but right now-'

Vanya jumped with Klaus as Diego appeared out of nowhere jumping Hazel from behind.

'The hell did he came from?'

Vanya watched as Diego did his best to wrestle against the man while Five in a monotone voice like he was bored kept on telling him to stop.

Perhaps she truly lost it, but Vanya couldn't help, but chuckle at the stupidity of the situation with Diego fighting a man while he was on his back like he wanted him to give him a piggyback ride and Five watching with little interest and Klaus cheering on who she wasn't sure. She covered her face with her hands. All she wanted to do right now was lay down and sleep.

It wasn't until Diego bit the man into the ear causing Vanya and Klaus to yelp a glass broke by, which made Five teleported and crash some china over Diego's head, 'I draw the line at biting.'

He limped back to Vanya and Klaus, 'I suggest you leave before he wakes up. While I may appreciate the whole switching teams. My brother might not care at all.'

Hazel nodded, 'Alright. Good luck.'

'Wait, which one of you was the trigger man for Detective Patch?' asked Five suddenly.

'Trigger woman,' said Hazel.

'That's too bad. That gun could have cleared our brother's name,' said Five sounding disappointed, but already looking like he was going through their options.

'Well then, it's your lucky day, amigo,' he said and pulled out a second gun handing it over to Five.

Vanya watched the whole exchange in silence before the man stepped finally away, and she went to Diego kneeling down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder trying to shake him away.

'Don't,' said Five and put the gun on the counter, 'He just fought, he will be violent when he wakes up.'

She watched him for a moment before she stood up and brushed her face again, 'This is just too much.'

She was going to cause the apocalypse. Her powers were crawling under her skin ready to burst out at first sign and Five was standing here holding a gun that would prove Diego's innocence like there was time for that. Like there would be a tomorrow for that. By Five's calculations the apocalypse happens today.

She put her hand over her chest. Her heart hasn't stopped beating like crazy since the wall collapsed on Allison. She felt so terrified.

When she looked to the side at the table she saw a woman there. She was tall and wearing very old looking clothes. She was looking at her with fear in her eyes. Vanya briefly remembered her.

' _Bonjour. I'm miss Stevenbaker, and I am your new nanny.'_

She came to the house. She wanted to force Vanya eat oatmeal. Five and Klaus did not come to rescue her from eating that time and she just go so upset. She didn't want to eat it. She hated it just like she hated broccoli. She didn't want to eat it. She remembered hearing the teapot and then…

The nanny was gone and Grace was their new nanny, and then mom.

'Hey, Vanya?' asked Five suddenly. She blinked and looked over at him. He was holding her hand staring at her. She didn't even realize she had spaced out like that.

'You okay?' he asked and the dishes stopped shaking. She didn't even notice when they started. She grabbed his wrist with a bit more force than she intended to, 'Maybe it's not the best idea to be in a room full of glasses and dishes, right now?'

Five eyed her suspiciously; at least once since the whole revelation that she had powers did he not look like everything was in perfect control.

'Alright, let's go upstairs, shall we?'

She nodded all too quickly before looking back at Diego.

'I will took care of him, you love birds can process the mating rituals.'

She looked away and started to walk. She could feel her face grew hot, and she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't red. Still, as she walked up the stairs she realized yet again, she didn't deny it to Klaus.

Honestly, she wasn't sure anymore what the hell was going on between her and Five, but at the moment it felt ridiculous to even think about it as they had more pressing manners to attend to.

She stopped in the hallways, 'Five, I shouldn't be here. I…I shouldn't be anywhere. If-if I'm really going to cause the apocalypse-'

'You won't I already told you that,' he said sounding a bit annoyed that she did not believe him. She wanted to. Oh, how much she wanted to believe him now more than ever, but he didn't feel what she felt. He didn't feel this power rushing through her veins without stopping, without any seemingly control ready to burst out with or without her approval. It wasn't like his powers which he could use to his liking. This was an unstoppable force ready to hurt and kill people.

'Five-'

'No, stop it,' he said looking more and more annoyed wither her.

'I told you. It will be fine. We'll figure out a way, Vanya-'

'You're not listening.'

'Vanya!'

'No, you're not listening,' she screamed at him the emotions once again getting the best of her and something nearby broke. It felt heavier than glass.

They shared a quick look before they went to check out the lounge where they found his picture on the ground in three pieces and the wall where it was hanging cracked.

'Hm,' chuckled Five clearly seeing the humour in all this or pretending to see it, 'to be fair it was a bit narcissistic of me to have such a portrait of myself here.'

Vanya, however, felt different. She realized now more than ever of how dangerous she was to all her family. She looked at the portrait with utter fear. This could just as easily have been the real Five if she aimed a bit differently. That was the problem, right? She had no control over what her powers caused.

She walked to the couch and sat down covering her face with her hands before she mumbled, 'I'm going to kill the world.'

'Vanya,' she heard Five say and pull at her hands, but she kept her eyes closed.

She didn't want to see his face right now. He would look so patiently and forgiving and caring like this wasn't a big deal. Like she wasn't going to cause the end of the world and force him to live all alone in the post-apocalypse world.

'How can you be so forgiving of me? Giving me forgiveness for murdering innocent people and yet hold so little for killing a man who hurt you and an accident which was not your fault at all?' he asked, and she felt his hand in her hair brushing it softly.

Her eyes, those traitors, dared to open and look at him. She was right he looked at her so softly. Five was never soft. In fact, he could be taken as the opposite of soft. He was sharp and brutal and quick, but when it came to her he could be _so_ soft. No one was ever this soft to her before. No one ever looked at her like this before. No one made her feel like this…

She felt utter grief for something which she couldn't change. For Five leaving and whatever could have been staying only in fantasies and _what ifs_ in her mind she didn't dare to speak out loud.

She swallowed hard ready to cry again grabbing him by the front of his uniform, 'I'm going to cause the apocalypse. Five…I can feel it.'

Something sifted behind his eyes. Perhaps a momentary doubt, but before she could confirm it, his eyes gain the same determination and caring as before and he said, 'How is it that you trust me so little in this? Do you not know what I can do? Vanya, I…I've done so many things. You saw them. You've seen them. You know me. How can you have no faith it me-'

'This isn't about you,' she said quickly shaking her head. He didn't understand it. He was the hero, sure, he was the survival of the apocalypse who always had a plan and a trick up his sleeve, but she wasn't. She was just plain and old ordinary number Seven, Vanya, the worthless and useless of all the Hargreeves siblings. She had all the faith she was capable of mustering in him, but not in herself. Never in herself and right now no matter how much had he wanted to…this wasn't about him, it was about her and she had zero faith in herself. Number Five could stop the apocalypse. But there was no way in hell Number Seven would be able to get it right. Vanya could feel it inside her.

She was going to fail and she was going to sentence a thirteen year old Number Five who just ran away from their table to the future into a life of misery and loneliness worse than her own.

'Vanya,' he said softly his hand brushing her hair, 'Please just trust me. If you… can't trust yourself then trust me.'

'Five-'

'Please,' he begged her, his hands still so tender with her while his eyes grew desperate, 'Trust me. Remember when you jumped on that drain? You just jumped. You couldn't have known you would land well, or I would catch you, but you trusted me enough to just jump. If you could trust me then with your life why not now? Just trust me.'

She let out a shaky breath. This…man. No one, ever in Vanya's life made her feel the way Five did. He awoken something inside her of her which her whole life was pushed deep down. He came to her room to help her with nightmares, but he did so much more. He just…he brought her back to life, and yet Vanya was sure he was going to be the death of her. She could only hope he wouldn't be the death of millions as well.

'A-always.'

'Then trust me on this. I can do this.'

They were both breathing a bit harder than before from all the emotional drama which was soaked into their situation. For a moment Vanya realized just how close they were to each other. Five brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. It left her momentarily off guard. Over the course of the past few days he touched her more than in thirteen years of their lives. It was leaving her more and more confused about what it meant. What it could mean…

She looked into his eyes. They were the same. She tried to picture him in his older body. He would be all sharp bones and wicked smirks, dark hair and tall. She knew he would be taller than her. She wondered how would it feel if older number Five would hug her, kept her close, kiss her-

They heard someone clear their throat and quickly moved away from each other. They needed to stop doing things like this with everyone around them in the house.

'Ms. Vanya, Ms. Allison would like to speak with you,' said Pogo and Vanya quickly stood up feeling relief wash over her, 'She's awake.'

Pogo nodded and Vanya closed her eyes taking a moment before she nodded at him. She looked at Five who had an unreadable expression, but forced a tight smile and offered her a short nod as well.

* * *

**17 years ago**

He heard some noises coming from upstairs but he wasn't sure what they were until Mom didn't run up. He shared a look with Diego and followed her leaving the kitchen and the dinner on the oven unattended.

They came into Allison's room only to find Vanya on her knees crying while Klaus was brushing her shoulder something Five never saw his brother do and calming her down.

Mom was looking all over the room before she asked, 'What happened?'

'I-I-I didn't mean it, I just...I got upset and I'm sorry,' said Allison looking very guilty and ashamed.

'Yes, you did,' argued Klaus while Vanya was still crying.

He stood up and pointed at her, 'You rumoured her. You knew what you were doing.'

'She broke the perfume I got from dad-'

'Children,' said mom cutting them all off as she went and kneeled in front of Vanya lifting her head to look at her, 'Are you alright, dear?'

The girl nodded while still crying, 'I just felt like I couldn't breathe. I-I'm sorry about the perfume.'

Allison shook her head, 'It's okay. I'm...I'm sorry too, Vanya.'

'Come on, now dear. You should take your medicine.'

'Number Three,' they heard as their dad was approaching, 'What is the meaning of this?'

'I-I got upset and I told her a rumour that she would go to the closet and never come out,' admitted the girl and Five froze in place. Allison looked terrified as their father waved at her to come with him. She looked at Five as if asking for some sort compassion, but in that moment he felt none for her.

He kept his eyes on Vanya as she tried to calm down. His eyes never felt her feeling something he couldn't quite explain from watching her suffer like this.

* * *

**Now**

Vanya walked into medical room feeling like someone stabbed her with a thousand of needles into the stomach. She stopped in front of it. The door was open and she could see Luther and Allison were talking about something.

Only now, standing in the doorway, did Vanya realize just how unprepared she was to see them.

She raised her shaky hand and knocked on the wooden doorframe.

Allison quickly sat up despite Luther telling her to be careful.

Vanya felt like crying upon seeing her on the bed like that.

'Vanya,' when she called out to her. There was no anger, or blame in her voice, just caring. Something Vanya longed since she was a little girl and watched Allison dance around her room or do her hair. She always wanted to be a part of her sister's life, but she didn't know how. She didn't want to be pushy so she never asked.

'It's okay. Leave us please,' she told him and he gave her a look like he would deny her. Something he wasn't very good at, but he found himself nodding before he went to leave. Vanya felt herself almost tearing her chest apart from how much she was trying to stay calm as he passed her. She knew they were family, but no one could deny the strong feelings he had for Allison, and Vanya caused her pain.

She didn't dare to look at him as he passed her, too afraid she might see the hate which was lacking in Allison's eyes.

'I'm so sorry,' she said as she stepped inside feeling the tension leave her body as she got those words out.

'No, don't. It was my fault. I pushed you and pushed you like I always did and you-'

'Lost it?' offered Vanya and Allison chuckled, 'Yeah. I'm so sorry. This wasn't how I wanted it to go.'

Vanya walked toward her and they took each others' hands.

'How do you feel?'

'Better. Just a bit bumped all over but good. What about you?' asked Allison and squeezed her hand. Vanya let out a desperate sigh.

'I just feel like 99 percent of all my problems would be solved if I stopped over thinking, calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky anxious little shit,' she said and chuckled, 'I'm so sorry.'

'No, stop. It's on me too,' said Allison and they felt into a momentary silence.

Vanya found her voice after a while, 'I'm the one. I'll cause the apocalypse.'

Allison's eyes widened, 'No.'

Vanya nodded, 'It's true. Even Five knows this. I'm going to destroy the world.'

'Stop, Vanya. Don't say that. You're not. How could you?'

'Look what I already did. I hurt you? I killed Peabody-'

'Both times on accident,' cut in Allison.

'And who's to say the apocalypse wasn't just an accident? Five said the commission causes accident to get what they want. Maybe I will just accidentally blow up the world or something,' Vanya shook her head feeling some of the equipment on the table next to them started to shaken.

She tried to step away and make some distance but Allison wouldn't let her, 'If you stress too much about something before it happens, you're basically putting yourself through it twice.'

Vanya looked at her desperate, 'I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'm scared I will…I will just lose control and no one will be able to stop me.'

'That' won't happen. You're so brave and strong-'

This time Vanya pulled her hand away, 'I'm not and you know it. I'm me. I'm neither of those things. I'm just me. I crawl into self-pity and doubt. I won't stand of chance if my powers get the better of me.'

'Vanya, please.'

She shook her head before she said, 'I keep on having these suppressed memories coming out. Memories like hurting nannies and dark room with no sound coming out. You know? I'm…starting to think that dark room I was always so afraid of was real, and dad had one made just for me. So I wouldn't hurt any of you.'

Allison watched her for a moment before she looked away, 'Remember when I put you into the closet? When I rumored you into the closet I mean. When we were kids?'

Vanya was surprised by her words but nodded, 'Yes.'

Allison looked nervous as she spoke trying to find the right words, 'I-I just wanted you…I was pissed because father said he wouldn't buy me a new perfume if I break it and I…,' she shook her head, 'when you started to scream and cry and I let you out and you just wouldn't calm down, I remembered something. I wasn't sure what it meant. I wasn't sure it wasn't a dream or just my fantasy, but I remembered you in this dark cold room on the bed and dad said to tell you…to rumor you _that_ you thought you were ordinary.'

Vanya was left in silence after that. Allison took her hand, but it was like Vanya was in too much shock. She didn't squeeze it back as she got lost inside her thoughts. She remembered now. She was in the dark all alone, forgotten for what felt like ages, until father and Grace came with Allison.

She wanted to hug her but father's cold eyes stopped her. He told Allison to say what he told her and then…

She closed her eyes and nodded, 'I remember now. Then Grace gave me the pills for the first time, and I…I didn't…everything was just too foggy after them and when I finally got out of that fog you all had forgot about me.'

Allison started to cry, 'I'm so sorry. It was all my fault. I…I didn't understand it. I just…he said I had to do it so that you would get better and come back to us. I just believed him. We always just believed him because we didn't know better.'

Vanya nodded, 'I know, it's okay-'

'It's not, and you know it. I…every time you ever felt like you weren't enough even now, it's because of me. I made you feel like that. I made you feel like that. No one is ever supposed to do that to a person and I did and then I just continued to push you away and because he made it sound like that was the only way with you because you were just…'

'Ordinary,' filled in Vanya and Allison pulled her into a hug. Vanya let her even if she wasn't sure she was feeling it. She still put her arms around her, hoping that at least Allison got some comfort out of it, if she herself couldn't. Not yet at least.

She shut her eyes again trying to push down all the terribly conflicted emotions she felt just then and focus on her breathing and happy thoughts.

Thoughts like laying in bed all day under the covers and not having to deal with any of this for a while.

She leaned away from Allison after a while, 'Can you forgive me?'

Vanya offered her the fakest smile she could force herself to make, 'There is nothing to forgive.'

She looked at the door, 'I think Five wanted to see you afterwards. If that is okay with you?'

Allison nodded quickly brushing away the tears, 'Of course.'

'I will go fetch him,' she said before she brushed Allison's shoulder one last time. As she walked downstairs Vanya it was like she was slowly gathering all the things inside her mind remembering the moments which felt like they were always there under the fog. She remembered little accidence like dad's broken monocle, Diego's bleeding hand, the dishes in the kitchen breaking, windows, a cracked wall a couple of times, and the nannies…gosh. She remembered so many nannies with bent necks or in odd shapes laying on the floor while father scoffed her.

She stopped on the stairs feeling the room shaking again as she realized maybe Five and her were even more alike then she thought. Except he had no choice, she just didn't know how to control herself.

She found Five waiting for her in the lounge he looked deep in thoughts so she wasn't sure he heard her come until he spoke, 'How is she?'

Vanya smiled at him a bit, 'She's good. Uh, she wants to see you actually.'

Five blinked a bit surprised by this. He and Allison we never the closest, but he nodded anyway and headed for stairs, Vanya spun around in momentarily weakness almost letting herself give away her plan, but bit into her tongue focusing on his limp and back telling herself that _he_ wasn't the one leaving so she didn't need a goodbye.

She watched him go remembering the day he ran away from the table toward the unknown leaving her behind. She wondered if he heard her that time as she went from the table and run after him catching a flash of blue light before he was gone. She wondered if he heard her call his name.

_Five…_

Suddenly as if Five could hear her now, he stopped on the third stair and looked back at her studying her face. She forced another smile. Not entirely fake, but also not completely honest given what she was planning to do now.

'If it's inside the house it doesn't count,' she said referring to his promise of not leaving her without a goodbye and how she said that if it is leaving her under five minutes it doesn't count.

Five shot her that wicked smirk of his which always made the breath get stuck in her throat and her stomach do a funny flip before he continued to walk.

She waited for a moment before she walked to the direction of the bedrooms. Her eyes landed momentarily on the damaged wall which separated her and Ben's room before she walked further down the hallway.

As Vanya knocked on the door she patiently waited for the answer, before the door opened on their own revealing Luther.

She nodded at herself to gather some courage, 'I…I need your help with something, and I don't think there is anyone I can ask for it, but you.'

* * *

**17 years ago**

Vanya woke up sooner than Five this time around. This wasn't something which occurred often since it was usually Five who had to get up before the alarm went off to return to his room.

She looked at him. When he was asleep, all calm and in silent, he looked much younger. Her mind drifted to his chubby baby cheeks and she almost let out a small giggle as she remembered him like that. He was adorable.

She felt him jerk a bit in his sleep and she wondered if he would wake up, when his had suddenly brushed against her bare arm stopping by her stomach. It caused the spot there to get warm, but she didn't move afraid she would wake him up. He deserved a bit of rest.

Vanya felt him shift a bit closer to her letting out a soft sleepy noise as his arm brushed her stomach and side again.

Her eyes widened forcing down a smile as the motion caused her to feel a bit ticklish there. When he did it again, she couldn't help giggle a bit before she covered her mouth abruptly.

His eyes opened as if on cue and he gazed at her completely startled and shocked. He sometimes did that when she giggled.

'Good morning,' she said after she put the hand away from her mouth.

'What are you doing?' he asked accidentally brushing his hand again, and she closed her eyes trying to shut the giggles in her mouth before she calmed down enough to say, 'That tickles.'

Five blinked at her several times chasing away the sleep before he smirked in a way which she just _knew_ would cause trouble for her.

'N-no, don't even think about-'

He didn't even let her finish before launched himself on her tickling her stomach. Vanya barely managed to cover her mouth before she would explode from laughter waking up the whole house.

He finally stopped after he saw her almost choking as she was gasping for air.

'J-jerk,' she said her face red like a tomato and her stomach hurting from the way she couldn't breath, but she found it to be the best feeling yet, 'I don't think you mean it given how you are smiling right now.'

He told her his eyes sparkling with amusement while he was still holding her down with his hand on her shoulder and the other close to her stomach almost as if he was ready to attack her again.

She giggled but only quietly, the smile still on her face, 'Still a jerk.' She doubted she ever felt happier than in that moment.

He rolled his eyes at her before they both heard the pesky alarm went off, and they needed to get ready for breakfast.

They both sighed at each other before Five got out of the bed and went to teleport.

'Oh,' he said suddenly, 'Let's do something different today.'

She blinked as she hopped her legs off the bed, 'Like what?'

He smirked at her almost smugly, 'Something extraordinary.'

* * *

**Now**

As they walked into the door and to the secret elevator Vanya remembered the last time she was there. With their father, who told her he had a special test only for her. She didn't like the dark around them, but she remembered feeling a bit safer knowing he was there. Oh, how naïve of a child she was, but then again, he was her father. A child is supposed to feel safe with their father.

He led her through several long halls and doors. Now walking there with Luther felt almost as if she was that little girl again. At the time she didn't used to be afraid of the dark, not until that very moment that last door locked on her and she was alone in the dark with no one coming for hours and hours.

Just before the door, Luther suddenly stopped hesitating, 'Is-Is this really what you want?'

Vanya looked up at him. She wanted to say that this was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to tell him how she was terrified of being there on her own, and that she felt like throwing up every time she realized she was going to be there all alone.

But this was what she needed because if there was one thing she dread even more than being alone and forgotten in the dark it was hurting the ones she cared about the way she already did Allison.

'Yes,' it shouldn't surprise her how easy the lie rolled off her tongue.

Vanya stepped inside with her back to Luther. She was worried that if she actually saw him closing the door on her, she would lose it.

When she finally heard the last click of the door signaling it was closed, she finally let herself to cry from frustration knowing that at least now she wouldn't hurt anyone, but that just as her whole life, she was alone.

She hoped Five would forgive her one day. Maybe tomorrow after the apocalypse was over.

* * *

**17 years ago**

Vanya groaned as she felt Five poking at her shoulder, 'What?'

'Come on, we're going out for an adventure, remember?'

She opened her eyes feeling like she was hit over the heady with a sack of potatoes.

'What?'

'Something extraordinary?' he hinted and she closed her eyes momentarily sinking back into sleep before someone violently shoved the covers away from her, 'Get up before I make you.'

She opened her eyes again and sat up. Honestly, there was no way in hell Vanya wanted to find out just how exactly he would _make_ her.

'Should I get dressed?'

'Only if you don't want to get hypothermia.'

She groaned again and went to her wardrobe hearing the distinguishing sound of Five teleporting to his room.

She put on her uniform and coat and scarf before she pressed herself against her desk waiting.

Five reappeared and went to her window.

'Whoa, what are you doing?' she went to stop him as he pushed it up all the way.

'It will be safer than going down the stairs. I don't want others to see us,' he clarified, and she blinked surprised by this. They had been out with the others twice now, the second time eating less and mostly just talking about things. She liked the time they spent away from the house. It was freeing and far happier than any time they were together inside the cold walls of their little prison. She assumed from how relaxed Five was he enjoyed it as well.

'Is something the matter? I thought you didn't mind going out with others,' she said feeling a bit worried that he would say he didn't enjoy it, and she wouldn't be able to come anymore. She would feel sad that she wouldn't spent time anymore with her siblings, but if Five didn't like it, she would just stay with him.

'Hm?' he asked one foot already out of the window, 'Yeah, no, I like it. It's hilarious to watch food competitions between Luther and Diego and then bet who will throw up first, but this…I just wanted to show it just to you,' he said and frowned a bit stopping in his movement.

'Unless, you don't want to,' he said slowly giving her the option of making her own choice, but Vanya caught the small worry in his voice that she actually wouldn't want to go with him.

She gave him her best smile, 'Don't be silly. Of course, I do, I just thought something was wrong.'

He seemed satisfied with her answer before he looked down and said, 'Alright, I need you to trust me and be very…very careful, alright?'

She nodded although she felt a bit sick thinking she would have to crawl down from the second floor.

'If I fall and break something, I blame you,' she told him as he was out of the window, 'If you fall and break something, I will run away and join the circus because dad would probably kill me.'

'For breaking the rules sure.'

'For getting you hurt,' he said as she slowly got out of the window trying not to look down and focus more on where she should put her feet not to slip.

'I don't think dad would care enough for that, but it would be very mean of you to cause my injury and run away on me,' she told him slowly moving through the wall on the outdoor side of the house. If Ben was up and looked out of his window he would probably have a heart attack.

She slowly moved to the drain where Five was waiting for her. This would be tricky, she had to make a small leap to the drain since there was no more wall to step on.

She tried to raise her hand feeling the doubt catching up to her as she saw just how big was the space from her hand to the drain. It seemed like a long way to the drain, a long jump and a long way to be just in nothing but air. She wondered if she would get away with going back to her room, but the look in Five's eyes when he thought she didn't want to come, made her heart ache more than fear ever could.

'Hey, it's alright,' he spoke suddenly and rose his brows as he asked, 'You trust me, right?'

She pushed back all her fears and simply jumped. Vanya wasn't sure she trusted herself enough to get to the other side of the drain, but apparently she trusted Five enough as she felt her knee hurt from the impact and someone's hands around her waist making sure she was in place.

For a moment neither of them moved and Vanya could feel the blood rushing through her ears. She just jumped into the air at a second floor. She must have been insane.

'Move your foot to the left there is a small metallic bar,' said Five his voice sounding a bit off. She blindly lifted her foot moving it a bit until she found something to step on.

'Are you okay?' he whispered into her ear, and she only then realized he was right behind her holding her in place making sure she wouldn't fall.

She pressed her head against the drain, 'Yeah….no.'

He chuckled and she felt him brush her back a bit, 'Don't worry. We'll go through the door on the way back.'

She nodded just as he took her hand and put it on another metallic bar. She heard and felt him shift a bit against her before he put her other hand in place.

'I'm gonna climb down first. Don't let go, until you feel both feet are steadily on one of the bars, alright?' he asked his voice still edgy.

She nodded again and felt him pat her back a bit awkwardly. She wondered if that was to assure her or himself before she felt the cold night wind hit her as Five climb down no longer shielding her from it.

With a deep breath, she started to slowly climb down as well making sure she felt the pressure of the bar before she would let go of one hand and move to the next. Once she was down she couldn't help but look up and be amazing.

She climbed _all_ the way from up there.

'Are you alright?' asked Five and she nodded before looking at him. She saw the fear in his eyes. Not something she was used to seeing in his eyes of all people. It made her want to comfort him in some way.

She wanted to hug him, but Number Five wasn't a hugger, so she decided to go for his hand.

She took it into hers, 'I'm fine. Thanks for keeping me safe.'

His eyes softened, the fear fading away, but he was still a bit tense as he nodded and pointed to the backyard.

There was a large blanket on the grass. She didn't let his hand go and neither did he hers as he walked her toward it.

He laid down, and she followed his lead lying upside down from him. The sky was full of stars tonight looking like an invisible blanket over the world. It was so big, endless.

'Today is the first day of the clustering,' said Five suddenly and Vanya blinked, 'What's that?'

'The alignment of the planets. Last time it occurred was in 1997,' he told her and she smiled, 'Oh, so we can see them?'

He pointed at one of the dots while all appeared the same to her, but she smiled anyway, 'Five of them at least. Venus, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury.'

She watched as his finger moved over the sky as if it was that easy to track them all down.

She snuggled into the blanket a bit as Five proceeded to tell her about his knowledge of astronomy and the sighting. As she watched the magnificent and large sky above them she couldn't help, but felt utterly small in compare to it.

'It feels strange doesn't it?' she asked suddenly surprising even herself after a moment of silence on both ends.

'What does?' he asked curious.

'Well, we're here right now just _so insignificant_ compare to the larger picture, to the whole planet, to the universe. If something happened and we would die the world would just keep on spinning like nothing happened. Like someone could just invent the cure for cancer and yet in the universe it wouldn't even make a different,' she found herself saying. She held her tongue after that knowing she was getting into unwanted territory of her personal insecurities. She was always afraid she was the insignificant one who wouldn't be missed or even noticed if she disappeared one day. She felt like cursing at herself for being so stupid now probably ruining Five's mood as he was silent all of the sudden.

Before she could apologize, he spoke startling her a bit with his voice, 'Something it scares me as well.'

'What does?' she echoed his previous question with her hand finding his behind his head and pulling it from under him to grip.

'That…I will never achieve anything which will matter,' he said his voice strange, sadder, almost lonely.

She leaned on her side to look at his profile, 'How come? Five, you're the most incredibly person I know. I can't imagine you not achieving something _great_ and magnificent.'

He turned his head to look at her, upside down everything looked funny.

'Dad says I'm an idiot when I talk about my theories,' he said and Vanya blinked surprised even more by this. Five always looked so composed like nothing could ever affect him. He was always almost annoyingly confident knowing his worth and how clever he was. She never saw their father's words actually hurt him well not the way they did her, or Ben or Diego. She only ever saw Five cry over their father's words and that was weeks ago. It still caught her off guard then and it did now as well. How could their father had such affect on them? Five was just brave and confident and he _knew_ he was _that_ smart, yet their father could knock him down so hard even he couldn't be sure about the one thing, he _knew_ about himself.

'Dad says a lot of things. He also thinks I'm a useless tool and yet you told me I'm not. He can't be wrong about one and but right about the other one, now can he?' she asked him logically and watched as an upside down smile pulled at his face. Five never really smiled at people. He grinned or smirked, but to actually smile was pretty rare, special.

'You're starting to show,' he said and tickled her cheek a bit with his fingers, 'I'm being a bad influence on you.'

She grinned, 'Maybe _you're_ starting to show. All this anxiety. Careful or dad will make you make my pills.'

They watched each other for a moment before she spoke, 'I know dad says hurtful things, but don't let them get you. You're Number Five. You're…the most brilliant person I know.'

His fingers stoke her cheek again suddenly she didn't feel cold anymore. She felt very much warm, 'You really think so?'

She blinked confused because honestly how could he not think so?

'Of course. That's why you're my favourite.'

Something flashed behind Five's eyes and she would have sworn there was pink color spreading over his face even if it was too dark to see.

'You're my favourite too,' he said and she giggled before he rolled toward her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The spot burnt a bit. It was such a quick attack she wasn't even sure it really happened.

'Oh,' she let out a bit startled, but forced herself to smile even if she saw that he couldn't meet her eyes and rolled on his back again.

It felt a bit weird…but also nice? Yeah, it felt nice too.

* * *

Vanya did not understand why she felt so wet, cold and uncomfortable. Did she leave the window open during the rain?

No, Five would have closed it.

She shifted a bit feeling her hand land into a small puddle of water.

She opened her eyes startled finding her and Five had fallen asleep on the blanket outside in the cold.

She quickly sat up. It was still dark but only dim like it was before 5a.m.

'Wake up,' she whispered and shook Five awaky, who's wide eyes met with her panicked ones.

'Crap,' he mumbled under his breath. He was probably just as soaked and cold as her. He got to his feet quickly dragging her with him. They went through the bottom floor window and then up the stairs this time.

They both froze when Klaus pointed at her hair during breakfast when their father wasn't around asking why did it look like bird's nest.

'I feel asleep while it was wet?' she asked cursing her lack of ability to lie.

She got a few odd stares, but as Five offered her a small smirk, she just chuckled and returned to her meal. Even though she slept on the wet ground in the cold that night, the good mood didn't leave her through the whole day.

* * *

**Now**

Vanya remained in her cell in the dark. She sat pressed against the door. It was so quiet and dark inside. She spotted crying a while ago, now she only occasionally sobbed, the only sounds in the dark room her own.

When she heard the distinguishing sound of Five teleporting she brushed her face for any dried tears which might have been left before.

She looked up only to gasp as she spotted a woman with whitish hair dressed in a black coat looking back at her, 'Hello there. You must be Vanya. Pleasure to meet you, dear.'

The woman raised her hand toward her. 'I heard so many great things about you.'

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: Major Character Death**

* * *

**Now**

Five walked to the medical room. His side still hurt, and he was positive if he made too quick movements he would surely break his stitches. He hoped he wouldn't have a reason too.

'Hey,' he said quietly, 'How do you feel?'

Allison nodded at him sitting up a bit, 'Good. Better. What about you?' she asked nodding at his side and visible limp as he walked.

He nodded, 'It's manageable. You know she didn't mean it. The powers-'

'I know. She doesn't know how to control them yet. I honestly don't blame her. It's my fault. I rumoured her and then I pushed her-'

'You rumoured her?' he asked shocked by the new information.

'Not today, but when we were kids and she still used her powers. Dad made me rumour her to think that she was ordinary. I didn't remember until now,' said his sister shaking her head.

'I can't decide whether he really hated her so much or just didn't care what those words would do to her,' Allison looked away thinking.

Five took a moment to run his mind over the new facts, 'Why didn't he just tell to rumour her that she didn't have powers?'

Allison shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know.'

Five thought about it. It would be most logical to do just that. Rumour Vanya to believe she didn't have powers of her own instead of making her feel like she was plain and worthless. Then again, Vanya's powers were connected with her emotions along with the pills Hargreeves wanted to achieve total neutralization of her emotions so that she wouldn't accidentally use her powers at all.

If the man was here he would most likely spit at his face. For all his high and mighty talk about control, and how anything could be learned he just gave up on Vanya believing her powers could not be control, or contained.

_Idiot_

He never saw them as human being with thoughts, strengths and emotions. He never understood them as such. Vanya just like all of them is not just her powers, she's a person. A person who needs to be trained and thought how to deal with suppressed emotions and powers.

'Did you want to talk about something? Something else?' asked Allison suddenly breaking his train of thoughts and pulling him from his mind palace.

'What?'

'Vanya said you wanted to talk to me about something,' said Allison slowly.

It took Five about a second to realize what was happening.

'Shit,' he breathed out before he teleported downstairs and rushed to the lounge. Vanya wasn't there.

'Damn it,' he rushed outside to the main hall, 'Vanya?! Vanya where are you?'

His shouts brought Diego and Klaus from the kitchen, 'What the fuck are you yelling for?'

'Vanya,' groaned Five before he ran over to the next room desperately trying to find her. Where was she? Where could she have gone?

His mind ran wild. She wouldn't go outside she was too afraid to hurt anyone. She had to be somewhere in the house, but why did she want him out of the sight. A terrible feeling of something bad happening spread through his whole body making his blood run cold.

_No, she wouldn't...hurt herself..._

'Van-'

'You don't need to yell,' said Luther suddenly from upstairs, 'I...I know where she is.'

Five teleported closer to him feeling a momentary relief, 'Where?! Tell me now!'

'Calm down. She...she told me not to tell you. She doesn't want you to stop her. She's...she's not in control,' said Luther struggling with words. Five heard Klaus and Diego coming closer.

Five smirked at him tensely knowing he probably looked like a psychopath, 'Number One, I'm going to ask you just one more time. Where. Is. Vanya?'

Luther shook his head slowly, 'I told, she doesn't want you to know.'

Five went to punch him but this time Luther blocked his fist, 'Don't do this.'

'TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!'

'Damn it, Five. Don't you get it? You're not helping her! You're literally acting like this was not a big deal when in fact this a freaking huge deal. Vanya could cause the apocalypse and you're not seeing it because you're in too deep. You care about her too much and its affecting your judgement-'

Five grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him toward his face making Luther stumble a bit from having to lean that far.

'Listen to me. I swear to God. Either you tell me where the hell she is or I will personally castrate you, and we both know I can-'

'Alright, we need to calm down,' cut in Klaus, 'Just tell us where Vanya is so we can talk to her. She's just freaking out.'

Luther shoved Five away almost causing him to fall backwards. Five cursed himself for having this young body for disadvantage.

'Hey, knock it off. You know he's been shot,' said Diego, but Five barked at him, 'Stay out of this.'

'No, I'm not telling it. I'm sorry I know this is like backstabbing you again, but I have to do it. She hurt Allison, destroyed the room, kill Peabo-'

Five suddenly lowered his voice to the coldest level Luther ever heard him say, 'Again?'

Luther blinked confused, 'What?'

'You said _again_. Backstabbing you _again._ Why _again_?' asked Five coldly watching the change of expression on Luther's face as he realized his mistake.

'I-I just...nothing,' he lied unconvincingly.

'Jesus, you suck at lying too,' said Klaus, but Five ignored him stepping closer to Luther, 'I don't know which one of the family is using the universal brain cell around here today, but I suggest you use it right now and explain.'

Luther opened and closed his mouth before he looked over at Klaus and Diego probably for support, but didn't get any.

He finally sighed and spoke, 'I...I know...I know you and Vanya used to...sneak into each other's room at night.'

'Ooooh,' let out Klaus and Five shot him a glare which shut him up for a moment.

He turned back to Luther. He didn't want to discuss this with his brothers, but wanted to know where the hell Vanya was and if this would help so be it.

'So what?'

'Allison and I we used to...sneak out too and just hang out in night. Once...once dad caught us, and he was pissed. He started to tell me how he wouldn't let us practise anymore together, and how he would make us change rooms so we would be away from each other and just...terrible stuff.'

He closed his eyes pain visible on his face. Five hated where this all was heading. He could already see the answer in his mind, but a part of him, a naive part of him which wouldn't die even after years of loneliness in a wasteland and years of calculative cold-blooded murders wanted him to believe he was wrong. He was almost positive that part was Vanya's doing that was still alive inside him.

'I remembered how Ben got off practise two times because he ratted out Klaus-'

'Which I forgave you by the way,' mumbled Klaus under his breath, but Five still caught it although he didn't have time to process it in that moment.

'So I...I told dad-'

'You fucking piece of shit,' said Five very slowly his voice making Luther flinch. He looked at him finally. He saw something he never saw in Five's eyes before at least not directed to him. Hate. Pure hate. It was something so intense and disgusting Luther took a step back feeling for the first time truly unsafe in his brother's presence even if he was bigger and physically stronger than him. He only now understood how dangerous Five could have been, and he threatened the one person who was important to him in that moment.

'You...do you have _any_ idea what you did?' asked Five slowly shaking his head.

'I'm sorry, Five-'

'Dad said he would send her away? Do you understand that? I was standing in front of him in his office while he said he would pack her and sent away like it was no big deal, somewhere of to a boarding school! I would have never seen her again! He made me never talk to her or step foot into her room because I was terrified he would just sent her away! Do you even understand what you did? I wanted to time travel to stop him from finding out! I got stuck in a fucking deserted future all alone for decades because you fucking _told_ him! And now? Now you just _won't_ tell me where she is? Fucking asshole!'

'I was a kid. I was a kid and dad told me the same thing about Allison. What would you have made me do?' asked Luther.

'Not be a piece of shit for starters,' said Five and Luther desperately shook his head.

'Five…I needed Allison. I still need her-'

Five shook his head as well letting out a humourless chuckle. This was just brilliant. Fucking brilliant, really.

'You know even when dad was threatening me that he would sent Vanya away and I would have promised him to shot down the moon, just so he wouldn't, it didn't even cross my mind to rat you guys out and I knew about the stupid tent upstairs for months!'

'Five-I-'

'I guess, it just proves how much different we all are,' said Five, 'We were both kids, Luther, but I fucking _own_ all the shit I did. Clearly you can't,' said Five before he teleported back to the lounge grabbing Hargreeves's journal. He quickly flipped over the section of containment in Vanya's notes. He didn't need Luther to tell him shit. He would just find her on his own. He knew her well. Even if she managed to trick him. He knew her very well enough to know that she only wanted to keep them all safe. Whatever it took. Even if it hurt her in the process that much he knew, but he didn't think she would hurt _him_ as well. He didn't think she would do something which would bring him so much pain.

Five heard a pesky voice inside his mind tell him that this was what happened when people got close to each other. It sounded awfully too much like Handler.

He found the notes about locking her up in an isolated cell build just for her to suppress her powers. His mind remembered the strange door father had taken Vanya through and didn't come back until much later. He clenched his hands into fists and teleported to it. It took him a moment to remember how to open it, but once he did he stepped into the elevator and went downstairs.

He tried to calm down. He really did, but he was so freaking _pissed_. He was pissed at Luther, at himself, at Vanya.

Five didn't even realize it until his hand collided with the wall of the elevator and the pain shooting through him that he lost it like that.

He looked at the damage on his knuckles. They were bleeding a bit.

He took in a deep breath trying to calm down as he got out of the elevator. He was an idiot. He was a fucking idiot, but what else could he do? He cared for Vanya. He cared for her so much it made him insane. He wanted to keep her safe, and he knew that if she let him they could figure it out. If only she let him help her and not push him away just like she always did. He paused for a moment knowing he couldn't blame it on her that much. How else should she react or feel? She thought she would cause the apocalypse, all her life she was proved that people never stayed only left and worst of all that she was no one. Not good enough, worthless, _ordinary_. Nothing special about her. She told him she didn't trust herself that she couldn't, and he dismissed it by telling her to trust him, but he didn't even consider her feeling. The only time he ever lost control over his powers was when he couldn't come back to her, and it terrified him and made him feel like a failure. Vanya's powers could break down walls and hurt people. How could he compare with her? How could understand what she was going through? He was such an arrogant prick, he didn't deserve her…

Yet, because he was that kind of a person, he wouldn't leave her. Maybe someone would give her time and space to deal with it on her own, but not him. Never him.

He just couldn't.

If she was supposed to cause the apocalypse he had to stop it, stop her powers from doing so, so they could have a future together, a better one, the best one.

Hope always scared him. In the future, hope was literally tore from his fingers as he tried to hold it together. He didn't try to reach for into he met with her again. She gave him hope. She was his hope for a brand new day.

He got to the large metallic door before he teleported inside in a flash, he found a large container made of steel with little to no light inside it.

_Fucking bastard. You're lucky you're dead._

He felt the anger returning as he remembered Vanya's startled cries as she was having nightmares about rooms in the dark with no sound or person inside. If his father were here, Five would probably kill him just for that alone. What kind of monster does this to a child? What kind of an animal adopts a bunch of perfectly fine kids and turns them into these reckless assholes filled with anxiety and mental and emotional issues?

When he jumped inside he found Vanya sitting by the door in silence. He couldn't see her face, or hear her sobs, but she looked more broken then he ever saw her.

He wished he have done better by her…

'Why won't you trust me?' he asked half expecting to scare her with his presence, but she didn't even flinch just kept sitting there not moving. He knew he should have been gentle with her, but he couldn't. He needed to let it out. He needed to let her know, that this was no okay, that they didn't just spent the last seven days building their trust for her to decide he wasn't good enough for it.

He was upset. Did she honestly think he wasn't? Was she kidding him? He was a stone cold killer, one of the commission's finest, a pragmatic to the bone. The man with the plan, always. And when it came to her he was losing control just like she was. She might have been losing control over her new found powers which were roaring inside her, but _fuck_ , he was losing control over everything inside him over her. He couldn't think, or breath or look at her and not feeling like a puddle of emotional mess because she was just so… _Vanya._

He buried himself in Monocle's notes hoping he would find a way to help her, safe her from those depressing and consuming feelings she had to deal with. He hoped to save the world, but first and always he wanted to safe _her._

'Do you not believe in me? Do you think I would let anything happen to you? How could you do this? I thought you left,' he said feeling the anger inside slipping from under his fingers out to the open, 'I thought someone took you. I fucking thought you were gone. I told you I wouldn't' leave you and yet _you_ left? Without a goodbye?' he was almost shouting, but in this bizarre cage there was no echo. It would creep even him out if he wasn't so upset right now.

'DAMN IT, LOOK AT ME!' he snapped at her.

The woman very slowly rose her head to look at him, 'I meant to destroy the world. It's all I was ever meant to do.'

The complete lack of strength behind her eyes caused him to almost step back. She looked so…broken down. He never saw her like this. Not even after their father's harsh words, or when Allison rumoured her to the closet, or when she was taking a higher dosage of those stupid pills, or when he met her in her dull and cold life lacking any warmth, she never looked so _broken_ , emotionless, just…gone.

'Don't say that. You don't know that. I'm here now-'

'Dad knew it too. That was why he locked me in here, that was why he never trained me…that's why he made sure I would never connect with you,' she said her voice so empty. She looked exhausted, defeated almost…dead and he wanted nothing more than to shake her and show her that she was still _alive_.

'Don't say _that_ ,' he said gritting his teeth in anger ready to shout at her again.

'He didn't' want to make it too hard for you to kill me if you ever needed to…'

Five was sure that if she slapped him it would hurt less than _those_ words. How…how could she say that? How?!

She looked down at her hands, 'The Handler came…the woman.'

He froze feeling like he couldn't breath again, tasting the ash in the air.

'What…'

'She came and told me…well basically that this was planned since the day I was born and there was nothing to stop it. I was always meant to kill the world and you were always meant to be stuck in the ruins of what I did,' she looked back at him, 'She told me that there was nothing anyone could do to stop it, and offered me to…to join her? The commission? She said it was the only way for me to survive.'

Five watched her in silence. It was impossible for him to open his mouth in that moment. Doubt creeped into his mind.

Doubt that maybe…perhaps…

He closed his eyes painfully. Bravery was overrated. Bravery could get you lost in time without the person you cared for years to come….

But bravery could also get you to come home to that person.

He opened his eyes, 'But you didn't take it.'

She shook her head for the first time a small spark of emotion, even if it was sadness crossed her face 'How could I?' her voice shook with the gravity of her agony.

'How could I accept it and kill all of you? Even if that is the only thing I'm good for I-I- can't. I…I rather die with you than live without you, don't you know?'

'I know!' he yelled inside the silent cage.

He closed his eyes the emotions and agonizing depression of the whole situation wrecking him inside the same way it must be killing her, 'I…I know.'

They were both left in silence after that. Sometimes their silence was comforting, sometimes it was awkward, sometimes it was soul killing.

Right now, their silence was full of unspoken, of deeds undone, of confessions to secret love, and of wonders not expressed. Our truth was hidden in our silence, hers and his.

* * *

**18 years ago**

They were twelve years old when he nudged her a bit during their free time on a Sunday and told her to put on a jacket and scarf and meet him outside. He couldn't remember now why didn't he want their other siblings to join them as he carefully lead her out on the street and down the sidewalk to the movie theater.

She kept on looking behind them as if she half expected their father, or one of their sibling or Pogo to show up and demand that they return. Fortunately, nobody showed up and they continued to walk. He knew she was curious about how did he know where to go, but he was planning this for a while now.

They stopped in front of the large building. There weren't many people around so he walked with her to the back of the building and teleported inside to open the door for her.

They snuck in to the back seats and in the dark watched the movie in front of them. They had been to the movies before with their father as a present for good results during practice, but never just the two of them. Five couldn't later remember what the movie was about or what its name was, he just remembered how it felt to be in the darkness of the theater with no one watching, or expecting anything from them just sitting in the dark listening to Seven's breathing next to him and occasionally feeling her shift or bump into his elbow. She was never so vivid before.

'Are you alright?' he asked in a whisper. She turned around to face him and nodded smiling a little bit. No, Seven didn't smile a lot and when she did she tried to hide them with her hair or looking away making it even rarer. The movie ended and it was time to return to the real world. Still, with the way Seven spun around on the sidewalk her arms spread wide and her hair titled to the back looking at the sky, looking happier than he ever seen he would never regret it.

They came inside and no one noticed that they were even gone. It was like their little secret adventure.

'We should try this again sometimes,' she whispered as they were about to separate to get ready for the dinner.

He smirked at her and watched her skip away just before their father called her number and asked if she took her pills. It was then seeing how her mood change back to almost robotic behaviour that he understood what the pills were really doing do her.

That night Number Five thought about what would Seven be like if she didn't take her pills. She must have been a delight to be around with.

* * *

**Now**

Vanya was seated down against the door with her head on her knees not looking at him. It had been a couple of hours that they decided that she had to stay inside her cage until the pills would start to work again and the threat of the apocalypse would pass. That was the plan for now. She would take her pills to bury her powers at least until the treat was over and they could figure out what to do next. He saw how ruined she was by staying in there which apparently was something their father dearest was working on for a while, so there was little to no decision than to stay there with her.

Five was looking at her sitting opposite from her wishing he was a better person to help her somehow and not be _so_ useless. When he came back all he wanted was to protect her and their family, he was…sure of himself that somehow he would return and fix everything, do everything right only to end up almost fucking it up completely.

He almost wished the Handler, that bitch, would show up again so he could rip her head off. She was such a fucking…. _bitch_. She tried to manipulate Vanya the same way she always tried to manipulate him to work for her. It only made him be certain that this did not have to be the end of things. The handler only came because she was desperate which meant that there was a large chance the apocalypse could be avoided all together. She tried to get Vanya to believe she was going to cause their doom, but only managed to convince her to do whatever it took not to.

Perhaps, he would take her before he would choke the life out of her venomous eyes.

'Five,' said Vanya quietly all of the sudden. Every sound sounded so strange in the cage.

He looked over at her, 'Yes?'

'Remember when you took me to the movies?' she looked up. Her eyes were all swollen from the crying. She brushed her face several times while talking, 'It was before mom gave us names. We snuck out and you got us in without tickets and we just watched it there in the dark without anyone looking at us or knowing who we were.'

She shifted her gaze to him, 'Do you remember?'

He nodded remembering the event she was referring to, 'Yes, you were worried someone would find out and come get us, but then no one did. No one even noticed.'

Vanya nodded, 'Until that day I used to think you hated me.'

He frowned at her words confused, 'Why? I never did anything to you.'

Vanya gave him a tragic smile which made him want to punch himself for causing this to her, 'But you always looked like you didn't want to be around me. You always had this look when I talked like you were annoyed with me. All of you did actually. Most of the time anyway.'

He felt a pain shot him through his heart a bit at how small she looked while saying that. They were a really shitty family to her.

'I'm sorry. I-I…I didn't know,' he lied because it was true he used to think she was needy and desperate for them to play and talk with her, but really she was just so lonely. He couldn't process that she was different than them and wished to be a part of their group when all he wanted was work on his skills and abilities. He didn't have the space inside his mind and life to care about her the way she should have been cared about. He was a very selfish child.

'I'm sorry, Vanya.'

She shook her head like she dismissed what he was doing to her a long time ago, 'That's not why I said it…Five, why did you take me to the movies that day?'

He didn't move. He just sat there looking into her brown eyes slowly clearing from the crying.

He wished she wouldn't look at him the way she was. He wished she would look away because under the pressure of those brown eyes of hers he felt compelled to tell her the truth that he couldn't voice before. He was almost sixty years old, and he was raised with her as brother and sister and he was stuck in his thirteen year old self and she was the cause of the apocalypse and he…he was just _so_ tired from all the hell around them.

Five closed his eyes and shook his head before chuckling in pure desperation, 'Because you're my favorite. I-I like you the most.'

She opened her mouth and in that moment he wished she wouldn't say anything. He prayed she wouldn't ask anything. He hoped she would just accept it and leave it because if he was to say one more word he would probably say something far more worse than the apocalypse. Something which would rip their family apart even more than all of what they have been through.

But Vanya didn't say anything. She closed her mouth again and looked away and Five couldn't help but felt angry that his prayers had been answered all of the sudden. Maybe he was in the cage far too long with her, but he owned it to her not to be a selfish prick and wait with her for the pills to start to work.

'I think,' she started softly, 'I think the first time was when we kissed.'

He looked up at her with his eyes wide and his heartbeat speeding up, 'What?'

She looked back at him and stood up all of the sudden, 'I think….the first time I actually…,' she didn't say those words, but with how she pointed at between herself and then him it was so painfully obvious what she meant, 'was when we kissed when we were kids.'

He wanted to run. He wanted to teleport out of there and run. Why the hell she was going into that now?

He would have rather bite a bullet again then face this _now_. Jesus. What was she doing?

'Do you remember?' she asked and he stood up shaking his head, 'Don't.'

Of course he remembered. He remembered everything all too well.

'And then you…when you started to listen to my playing,' she said and took a step closer. He barely contained himself not to jump away from her because right now she was far more terrifying then when she couldn't control her powers.

'And then when I had nightmares and you…,' she stopped just a half of a step away from him. If she moved a bit she would crash into him and he wasn't sure what that would do if she did.

'You held me,' she mumbled a bit quieter this time looking into his eyes and making it impossible for him to look away.

'And then you left,' she closed her eyes finally allowing him to break from the spell and leave if he wanted to, but he stood still feeling like he couldn't move.

'D-do you think that if you didn't…the world would be less…crazy?' she looked at him again.

'Do you think that if you stayed here or came back sooner that…that this wouldn't happen? That I wouldn't be so… _broken_?' she asked and started to snob again which he couldn't take anymore.

He grabbed her arms and shook her, 'You're not broken. You just need to learn control. I can fix this. I will teach you.'

_I can fix you, and you can fix me and maybe we can be happy after that. Maybe we can finally be happy._

She blinked a bit. Her face starting to carry that numbness he hated to see on her so much.

Vanya touched his chest, 'Five, you're shaking.'

She was right, he was shaking. While she was probably being numbed down by the pills he was literally starting to want to crawl out of his skin.

He let her go and took a step back, but she immediately took his hand, 'Please don't leave.'

'I'm not,' he said and griped her hand tighter as he looked away. The room was starting to make him feel anxious like a tiger in the cage.

She stepped closer toward him and he looked at her again. She was so short. All his siblings looked tall and grownup, but she still looked like the same little girl whose name he was calling for a week nonstop hoping to find her somewhere still alive in the post-apocalypse world.

When her hand slipped out from his, he felt the lack of the touch immediately. Her hands touched his face, and he let out a desperate choked sound. Her hands, so caring and delicate just like her herself. She always cared so much and the world just kept on hurting her, tearing her apart and causing bad things to happen to her….and by proxy to him as well. Because nothing hurt him more than her being in pain and having a sad life.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was just so… _Vanya._

He was tired. He was exhausted really. He wanted everything to just end already. He wanted it to be all over so he could…what?

'Five?' she asked his name sounding so gentle from her lips like he wasn't a killer, an asshole, a jerk who left all alone and still kept on making mistakes one by one even though he promised to her and himself he wouldn't leave, wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't….

'Vanya…I…I,' he felt like he was about to throw up. Why was it so _hard_? Why couldn't he just say it? She just confessed didn't she? She just told him she felt the same way he did since they were kids. She just…why couldn't he?

'It's okay-'

 _-no it's not!_ His mind screamed at him. He loved her and he couldn't bring his mouth to cooperate and freaking _say it._

It was a lost battle, so he did the only thing he could. He was never good with words, but actions spoke louder than them anyway.

He grabbed her by the elbow front of her sweater and just pulled her toward him capturing his lips with hers, in an almost bruising kiss ever. It was nothing like the kisses before. It was almost violent not like how he ever wanted to kiss her, but he couldn't help it. He was just so desperate for her, for all of this, for them, for the time they lost, for more time they could have. He just…he was starving for her since the moment he shut those fucking door at her face when Hargreeves said he couldn't be with her anymore.

He felt the startled breath against his lips, but it only made him pull her closer and kiss her harder not giving her a chance to run or push him away because _fuck it_ he was so done with all that bullshit for now.

He kissed her like he was attacking her. Like a first punch starting the fight. There wasn't anything delicate with the way he let his lips push against hers, consuming the kiss like it was a delicious meal. It felt like a rhapsody for his soul to be able to do so after all this time, after all of those emotions, feelings and cravings just pilling up inside him ready to finally burst in what was probably the most sensual experience of his life which was just a whole new level of sad and pathetic, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to think or care about anything else than his lips feverishly move against hers starving for her warm, closeness, taste. Starving insatiably for her.

When they broke the kiss, he felt how she was trembling, her breaths almost pants as she opened her eyes and let go of his face, 'Five, this…we can't-'

'Don't,' he barked at her shutting her up completely, 'Don't say we can't because I will probably punch through that wall if you do.'

Vanya shook her head. She looked like she would cry again. He hated it. He hated himself for doing that, for loving the feeling of her lips against his, for loving _her_.

'Damn it, _don't_!' he snapped as she opened her eyes again.

She cradled his head between her hands again so profoundly. He wanted to melt into her touch just so he would have imprinted the feeling of her hands on his body forever.

'Five, this is insane. You're in a body of a thirteen year old and-and-'

'So wait for me,' he said suddenly and she lost the ability to speak for a few moments as the words literally knocked the air out of her.

He looked upset before, but now he was standing still and tall and confident almost smug the way he always was.

'Wait for me. This body is thirteen so what two more years, three? If you will feel better that it's legal than five years or eight. I've been stuck in the post-apocalypse world for decades and you were here without me for seventeen years. What's a few more?' he shrugged before he actually smiled at her. No grin, or smirk to die for, just smiled.

For the first time since they left the bed the morning before he felt in peace.

'Wait for me.'

Vanya didn't reply. She couldn't. She literally couldn't speak, and just stared at him…and didn't know what to say. Not one word. He just told her…he just told her to _wait_? How? How could he say it so casually? How was that humanly possible? He wondered if she felt like she was going to suffocate from all the pressure while he just stood there smiling her as if this was not a big deal.

Because it wasn't. He finally understood it…it wasn't a big deal at all. It was him and it was her and he loved her. That was all. That was all there was and all that mattered and it was enough.

He took a step closer and took her hand again, 'Don't do that. Don't over-think it more than it has to be. In couple of hours threat of the apocalypse will be over, I will train you. I will help you gain control and then,' he shrugged his shoulders, 'We can do whatever we want.'

'Five,' she said and took a few pieces of her hair pulling it a bit with his fingers looking how it curled around them and then bounced as he let go, 'Where do you want to go? Somewhere warm? Or cold? We can go anywhere.'

'But I-'

'We will just take some times to help you learn control. Then we can come back. You will continue in Icarus or find a new place and you will be first chair and have your first _real_ concert,' he put his hand against her cheek feeling the dry tears still there, 'Where to do _you_ want to go?'

'I don't know,' she said before she chuckled a bit. It was a good sign. Chuckling meant she was starting to feel things even with the pills. Chuckling meant she wasn't completely opposite to his offer.

'What do you have in mind? Somewhere without too many people? You tell me, you always like to be in charge and right after all.'

'I don't _always_ like to be in charge and I _am_ always right.'

She raised her brows at him, she looked a bit more relaxed now, 'You _changed_ me locks. You're such a control freak, and you know it.'

He bit the inside of his mouth. He wanted to kiss her again just for that alone.

'Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. How about a nice cabin in the woods? Just the two of us. You could train all day long without hurting anyone, and play the violin for me, and then just…live and we could come back and be there with the others, who could come visit-minus Luther. He pissed me off earlier,' said Five earning an actual giggle out of her.

'I love that,' he said immediately and she blinked a bit confused, but smiling. Gosh, she was smiling.

'Love what?'

'That sound you make when you giggle. It literally makes it hard for me to breath sometimes,' he said not even stumbling against his words. Yeah, he could do this. He wanted this. This was easy. Fuck. This was so easy how could he ever think it wasn't?

Vanya looked so stunned by this before she put her hand against his on her cheek and closed her eyes, 'Maybe we could stay forever. In the cabin…just the two of us. Oh, but Dolores,' she opened her eyes again.

'We have to bring her as well. Come to think of it we left her all alone at my place.'

He tried not to smile. He really did, but with her looking at him like this and thinking of Dolores of all the people, it was impossible not to.

'Yeah?'

She nodded.

'So you would wait eight years?' she asked after a while raising a brow at him teasingly.

He chuckled. He had a feeling he would regret those _eight_ years especially since this body already started to hit puberty.

'I would wait forever for you,' he said and honest to God or whatever the hell was in charge, he meant it. He was done having her wait for him. Just done with all of that shit.

Vanya watched him for a moment before she shrugged her shoulder, 'Okay-'

Before she could finish the word, the metallic door the cage exploded sending them to the ground and armed men pulled out a machine creating a high pinched sound so loud it made Five's ears bleed.

His ears were ringing, whether it was the sound from the explosion or from the machine he wasn't sure.

All he knew was Vanya pushed him into a sitting position telling him something, but he couldn't hear her. His eyes only saw the way her lips moved.

He shook his head and brushed her cheek seeing the blood on the side of her face. The room was shaking again. Her pills didn't work yet.

He didn't hear it but he felt the shot near them in the air, and pushed her down stroking her hair briefly. He wasn't sure if she heard him or not because he himself couldn't hear it, but he did try to say it before he teleported and knocked down the nearest shooter in black.

_I love you_

* * *

**17 year ago**

'Get out!' Five heard Allison's yelp from the hallway.

He teleported outside only to see Vanya quickly rushing away as the door to Allison's room shut with a loud slam.

'Number Three, what have I said about slamming the door!' they all heard their father from the other hallway.

Five rolled his eyes and looked at Vanya as she was walking from the direction of their sister's room.

'What happened there?' he asked.

Vanya shrugged her shoulders, 'Nothing?'

He titled his head. He knew by now that Vanya was a very bad liar. She always got all nervous and shifty and couldn't come up with a good excuse for the love of God.

'Want to try that again?' he grinned at her and she sighed. She was also very quick to give up, 'Promise you won't tell it to anyone. I don't want Allison to be mean to me again.'

'I think that's not possible. She's always mean to you.'

'Five.'

'Alright, I won't tell I got it from you,' he said as he raised his hand and she shoved him a bit, 'Okay, alright, I don't tell to anyone.'

Vanya lightened up a bit before she looked away looking quite embarrassed, 'I saw...Allison and Luther...kiss.'

Five blinked, 'Oh.'

'Oh?'

He shrugged his shoulders, 'It's not that big of a deal. I saw them kiss a few times myself.'

Her eyes widened, 'What?'

He walked into his room, 'They're not very subtle in locking the door, you know.'

Vanya walked inside and closed the door, 'Does father know?'

'I doubt that he cares, but then again I notice he tries to break them apart a bit more than usual,' he said and walked to his bed where he stood up and started to write another one of his formulas consumed by his work again.

Vanya watched him for a moment before she went to his chair and sat down looking around his room and trying to figure out how much clean space he had left.

'Do you ever think about it?' she asked sounding very nervous which wasn't unusual. Even if they were closer now than before Vanya was a very nervous almost to the point of anxious person.

'About what?' he asked still writing trying not to lose his train of thoughts.

'Kissing?' her voice sounded a bit strange. Not nervous, but not normal either.

'Not really,' he said and continued to work.

'What do you think it's like?'

'Very unhygienic and wet,' he said as his eyes didn't leave wall and his writing.

She was quiet for a moment, 'Maybe not.'

'Or maybe not,' he allowed himself to agree with her. He never kissed anyone to know for sure of course. He would allow the benefit of the doubt if he didn't know something for sure.

'Do you ever think about trying it out?'

'Not really.'

'Oh,' she said sounding a bit strange before he heard an undeniable smile in her voice, 'Did you just write the same formula twice?'

He stopped writing and looked at his walls properly. He did actually.

_Strange._

Five turned around only to find Vanya trying to hide her smile behind her hair again. Alright, maybe, just maybe, like one second in like a month his eyes land on her lips and his mind just create this little thought as a bubble wondering if they are just as soft as they look like before it bursts and he thinks about something else. And that is a big _maybe_.

He swallowed a bit, 'It's supposed to be that way.'

Vanya nodded, but it was clear she was the one who now thought he was the bad liar.

'If you say so.'

He gritted his teeth a bit before he jumped from the bed. He didn't like if people saw him weak, not even her, not yet at least. It would take a while for him to open up even to her.

'So what? You want to try it?' he asked trying to sound more confident than he felt.

Suddenly her smile was gone and she looked nervous again, 'Oh, why?'

'I don't know. You kept bringing it up,' he said feeling a bit frustrated if she rejected him.

'I'm just curious,' she said and stood up.

He crossed his arms, 'Well, then consider it a way to satisfy your curiosity.'

She looked like she was the one thinking now and for a moment he thought she would say no. Five was surprised how unsettling the thought of her rejecting him made him feel.

 _Strange indeed_.

'Alright,' she said finally and Five was impressed how confident she sounded when she looked like she wanted to run out of the room any moment now.

'Alright,' he agreed, but nothing happened as they both remained standing there looking unsure at each other.

Vanya shook her head and took a step closer, 'We should probably...,' she pointed between the two of them and Five nodded taking a step closer to her as well, 'Yes, of course.'

They stopped in front of each other looking at each other without a single word for a couple of moments before Five thought it was embarrassing enough and leaned toward her nearly kissing her on the nose before he successfully landed on her lips.

_What do you know? They're very soft._

He leaned away from her but didn't step back just looking at her and waiting for a reaction. It was just a small brush of one person's lips to another. He supposed they were nicely soft and his stomach did that strange flip it sometimes did, but this time it wasn't so unpleased, but it wasn't anything ground breaking.

'It was nice,' said Vanya and when she touched her lips Five felt a bit...well he couldn't explain it. Proud and worried mixed all together inside his stomach making him feel warm on the face and a bit dizzy but in a good way? It was very hard to explain really.

'Yes, it wasn't bad,' he tried to stay neutral knowing he failed.

Vanya looked at him again and let her fingers leave her lips. She almost reached out and touched his but she stopped herself and opened her mouth as if to ask or say something when she just leaned closer and kissed him again.

His hands were left uselessly by his sides as the kiss lasted a couple of moments before she leaned away and smiled, 'It's nice. I think I will like kissing.'

His eyes were on hers for a couple of moments before he found his voice and nodded, 'Yeah, it's...it's nice.'

Nice. Didn't. Even. Come. Close

He smiled at her a bit. Not smirk or grin as he usually does but actually smiled. They never talk about it afterwards. Although now it was definitely more than one second that he looked over at her lips and thought about kissing her. Not that he would admit it to anyone.

* * *

**Now**

One moment the house was being torn apart by Vanya and in the next a gunshot ripped all the noises into silence or in Five's case through the silence of his deafness to actual hear things around him.

He got up from under the man with the gun and looked around. He saw Diego helping up Mom and Allison getting up. Who he didn't saw was Vanya...at least not at first.

'Oh my God,' he heard Klaus cried out, 'What did you? Vanya, what did you do?' he cried like a little boy looking at something. Five's head snapped to the direction he was looking at, but he couldn't see her there. Why was his brother screaming at an empty space?

He didn't understand and his head hurt. Did his stitches broke? His side hurt like hell now.

He continued to limp. Where was she? Where the hell was she? His legs were shaking but he walked a bit further to where she was standing before only to find her on the ground now.

'V-van-,' he rushed to her kneeling next o her and touching her face, 'Vanya?'

She was so pale now almost white. Why was she so white?

His fingers brushed over some sticky liquid.

Despite how observant he was it took him a moment to see the gun in her right hand and the blood coming from the side of her head.

_No..._

_She..._

_She shot herself._

'Oh my God, oh my god...she-she,' he heard Klaus mumbling to himself as the others slowly started to circle them around, but all he could see or focus on was her dead woman in his arms.

'Vanya?' he spoke her name quietly everything coming into his mind all at once.

_I don't want to hurt anyone. They're going to make me do it, aren't they? They're going to make me cause the apocalypse over and over again until I just do. Five, I can't hurt you. Five, I-I-I...I love you...I love you more than...I love you more than I love myself, do you understand?_

Now he realized what she said to him. He couldn't hear her, but she said...she said...and he said...

_I love you_

_..._

_Just trust me._

_Always._

_..._

' _So you would wait eight years?'_

' _I would wait forever for you.'_

_..._

' _Maybe we could stay forever. In the cabin…just the two of us.'_

_..._

' _You're leaving.'_

…

' _You changed my locks?'_

' _You're a control freak, that's what you are.'_

_..._

' _Just something nice you said to me the other day.'_

' _Oh? Do tell, I want to know what will earn me a smile like that again.'_

_..._

' _I...I need you close. I always need you close.'_

' _I need you close too.'_

_..._

' _Five?'_

' _Yes, Vanya?'_

' _If you must leave-'_

' _-I told you I won't ever-'_

' _-don't ever leave without a goodbye.'_

_..._

_I love you_

He thought there was nothing more which could hurt him anymore. He thought nothing was worse than loneliness he felt in the apocalypse or the emptiness which the commission left inside him after they made him a killer, but this... _this_ was without a doubt the worst pain he ever felt in his entire life. The pain of holding someone you love with all your soul, mind and body dead in your arms.

He brushed her hair a bit remembering how it used to tickle him when they slept in the same bed. It still was so soft.

'Five,' he heard Diego telling him something, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her as if he was half expecting her to wake up any moment and wanted him to be the first thing she would see. Always wanting to be the first person she would see in the morning.

'Five, s-s-she's gone,' stuttered his brother.

When he put his hand on Five's shoulder he jerked it away and finally let her go standing up, 'No... She's not. Not yet...'

'Five,' started Luther, but he full on ignored him and instead he closed his eyes gathering all his strength for what he was about to do. The pain from his side was pushed away as well as the one from his head.

When he was younger he wanted to go to the future. He wanted to know what the future held for them in store. He wanted to visit future first and then go to the past to stop their father from catching him and Vanya in the bedroom.

Now he had a different idea, a better one. He would just go yes, but not the future. No, he would go somewhere much better, where he would be able to change all of this.

To save her. To heal her. To teach her.

'Five, please,' he heard Diego again, but he ignored him as well and pushed the tears which were gathering in his eyes as far away as possible before he finally let himself jump.

_I love you... I love you more than I love myself too, Vanya._

**To be continue...**

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Yeah, now you probably hate me. Sorry for this, but to be completely honest this was what I wanted to put here since the beginning of the story. I applied the warning on Ao3 and everything. I would have warned you, but spoilers? Still, I felt awful writing about this even if it was my idea and made sense for where I wanted to take the story.
> 
> As for Five, I wanted to leave the impression to be shock or denial in his case before the actual meltdown since he will indeed time travel to safe her. Again sorry. I am so evil.
> 
> As for Vanya with the way things happened in this story I just felt that she would be the first person who would take it upon herself to try and protect everyone. I wanted her to be sort of a tragic hero/victim of this story since in canon she was tragic victim/villain.
> 
> Next chapter probably until Friday or Saturday. Maybe sooner, but no promises as always :(
> 
> I also updated The Touch so you can have something warm and fluffy to read after this.
> 
> Also I don't know if this won't be a mistake but I will start another story which was spoiled here already. It will be called The Cabin. So far I have the prologue but if you read this chapter you pretty much can guess what will it be about. I'm obsessed with F/V ship right now so I need to express my feeling and love for them much as possible until S02 :D
> 
> Again sorry don't hate me and enjoy if that is even possible...gosh, I'm such a terrible person :(


	11. Chapter 11

**17 years after – old timeline**

Vanya watched the woman in black in front of her. She immediately guessed who she was and stood up. She felt her heart beating up in pure fear of the woman.

'Get out,' was all she said hoping she sounded more courageous than she felt.

'Well, I guess you heard a lot of things about me as well,' said the woman smugly and lowered her offered hand walking around the cell.

'Hm, all that hard work put into this little place for you, and for nothing,' she said before she smiled and looked at her again.

Even if the woman wasn't the cause of Five having to kill innocent people, she still wouldn't like her simply for the smugness she carried herself around with like she owned the place.

'I don't know what you want but you should leave,' she said surprised by how steady her own voice sounded.

'Oh, so you do have a bit of a fire inside of you. Then again if you cause the destruction of the whole planet you should have some,' said the woman and stopped looking at her again.

'You're such a plain little thing, aren't you?' she asked mocking her.

'Just-'

'You know this won't work?' asked the Handler pointing around herself at the cage, 'It didn't work before either.'

Vanya tried to stand her ground and not engage.

The woman watched for a moment and she could see she caused annoyance to cross her face, 'Very well. You have already been here before. Of course the circumstances were a bit different then. Your siblings locked you up and you finally decided to let out all that suppressed anger and betray and use it to a good cause. I envy you for that. I wish I could finally stick it to all those who hurt me in the past,' she said and put a hand over her chest dramatically, 'All those bullies who never treated me right or made me and made me feel useless, worthless, like I was… _nothing_ -'

'What do you want? Do you want to upset me? Make me explode?' asked Vanya before she shook her head, 'Nice try, but it won't work. I rather get stuck in here forever than cause the apocalypse. Whatever plan you and the commission got going you miscalculated.'

The woman watched her for a moment before she gave her a dark smirk, 'Oh darling Vanya,' her words were like venom, 'we never miscalculate. The apocalypse will happened one way or another and you will always be the one to cause it. You were destined for it ever since you were a sweet little girl who broke her nannies' necks.'

Vanya tried to keep her hands from shaking. For once she wished she wouldn't show fear and weakness. Just once. Just not in front of this devilish woman. She felt like she was a child again under the cold stare of her father after he told her once again she didn't belong and she should leave.

'You're lying,' she said, but the woman calmly shook her head, 'My dear child. Timelines are pesky little things always going one way or another, but every time, with the Umbrella Academy or not, with Five disappearing or not with Ben dying or not with billions of different scenarios the result stays the same. You kill the world. You were created for that purpose only, Vanya Hargreeves, and I think deep down you can feel it as well now.'

'Shut up,' said Vanya shaking her head.

_It isn't true. It's not true. I can stop this. I just need to stay put here and it will all go away. That is all!_

'You don't-'

'Oh, but we do. We experienced it many times, with many _many_ different scenarios all leading to you causing the apocalypse. That is just the way things are and nothing you or Number Five will ever pull off will change it. It can't. And believe me when I say you tried _everything_ there is in the book.'

Vanya closed her eyes, desperately. This couldn't be true. It couldn't be right. She couldn't be right. She worked for the commission who wanted the apocalypse she was lying.

'What do you want? Why did you come?' asked Vanya and the Handle sighed, 'The apocalypse always happens. There is just this little problem about the exact date. Right now because of this little stunt of yours it was pushed a couple of hours which is not how we like it. It has to happen on time, not sooner or later, but exactly on time,' explained the Handler before she checked her watch, 'Right now you pushed it to 1a.m, but we short of need it at 9p.m, so I came to offer you a small deal.'

'Deal?!' snapped Vanya, 'You want me to end the world. What could you possibly offer me to even consider helping you in any way?'

'Your life,' said the Handler like it was the best thing in the world, 'With your pills the powers are at bay and so are your emotions which would make you a perfect fit for the commission.'

Vanya was confused.

'Make sure the apocalypse happens at 9.p.m and the commission will save you and make you one of our little associate. It could be very beneficial for you-'

'You want me to kill the world-'

'But not the past,' said the Handler with a smile, 'And there are countless of events which need to be taken care of and monitored. It's a great job you would love it,' said the woman and Vanya shook her head, 'You're sick. You're the worst… _bitch_ I ever met and you're sick. You want me to kill everyone on the planet and for what-?'

'To secure the timeline of course.'

'What is a timeline for if there are no humans?' asked Vanya and the Handler's smile froze on her face a bit, 'That's not for you to know, dear.'

'You're insane,' said Vanya finally, but the woman smirked, 'No, I'm giving you a choice. Something you were very rarely given during your life. Do you know what will happen after this? After you cause the apocalypse? You will be alone in the wasteland that you killed.'

Vanya frowned, 'What does that mean?'

'Oh, it's all…so…tragically romantic really…kind of the things fairytales are made of,' said the Handler, 'It's a phenomenal which a few of us in the commission often bet on. Every time Five travels to the future he lives in the world you burnt, and every time he doesn't…you're the only one left standing while him and the rest of the world are dead. Why? I don't know either. Maybe it's just one of those things-'

'You're lying,' said Vanya and the Handler smirked, 'No dear girl, I'm not. Every time there is a timeline in which Five travels to the future and gets stuck you died with the rest of the world and every time you survive he never jumps in the first place. It's a never ending story of the two you…one must always die for the other to live a long and terrible life all alone.'

Vanya shook her head tears rolling down her cheeks. She cursed at herself for being so weak in front of this terribly cruel woman, 'You're lying-'

'It's true, and I wouldn't tell you this if I really didn't need that 9 o clock apocalypse. You still have a couple of hours to kill. Make sure you use them to think this through. It wouldn't be the worst case to travel with our agency and maybe occasionally see _him_ ,' she said and Vanya tried to stop the tears, 'Would it now?'

The woman then disappeared as if she was only a hallucination before Vanya fell on her hands and knees crying and banging to the ground in desperation and agony.

She couldn't calm down…

Was it true? Was any of it true? Was she and Five really destined for such a terrible faith? She wanted to keep him save, but could it be true that there was no way to stop it all, to stop her?

She covered her mouth trying to hold all the noises while choking on her own tears. She felt like she couldn't breath. She wanted to scream, but not even that. She just…she just…she wanted her pills again. With them she at least got confused by the numbness of it all and didn't have to feel how everything hurt so much right now. She felt the crushing pain inside her of brutalizing her as she cried on the ground seemingly without an end.

She wasn't sure how many time has passed, but she must have used up all her tears because she slowly rose up and shook her head. If the woman was right, if she wasn't lying then…then there was only one way to stop this all.

'I can't…I can't….I can't do _this_ …'

_But she had to…_

* * *

**17 years ago – now – new timeline**

Thirteen year old Vanya watched in horror as Five spoke with their father about time travelling. She could feel something inside her demanding to be left out as she anxiously anticipated what would come out of Five's new confrontation with their father about time travelling.

She dreaded the worst, which was confirmed the moment Five looked at her. She barely managed to shake her head the only indication of what she thought of the whole madness. She felt her insides on fire as she watched Five's jaw set with determination before he stormed out of the room.

'NUMBER FIVE!' called their father through the room.

She had been numbed the pills for days now the first time to waken up when Five's knife hit the table close to her. Her thoughts were still unfocused but how could she just let him leave like that? Leave her? Abandon her like this after all they have been through? She thought...she assumed they were close...or was it all in her head. What if it was all a dream caused by the pills? What if it wasn't real?

Her mind was a mess, but she knew one thing. She couldn't just let him leave like this...

She rushed from her seat briefly hearing Ben and father call after her before she was outside on the street, something she never done on her own before. Before she at least had Five by her side and the rest of their siblings or their father, but never just her alone.

'Five!' she screamed at him just as she saw him disappear in the flash of blue light completely.

He was gone...

Vanya felt like someone sucked the air out of her lungs as the realization hit her. He was gone without a goodbye. He left her here alone. He was gone...

_Gone..._

She spun around suddenly ready to run herself home or down to the opposite direction she wasn't sure yet, but before she could for her eyes got momentary blinded by another flash of light, 'Oh.'

'V-vanya,' she heard and forced her eyes to open and look at Five flinching as they caught his appearance.

_What happened to him?_

Vanya opened her mouth to ask about the dirty uniform and messy hair and cut lip and bruise before she felt him almost collapse against her in the most soul crushing and desperate hug she ever received from him.

'Five,' she breathed his name against his shoulder as she hesitantly put her arms around him. They slept together in one bed, and occasionally took each other's hands or brushed cheek, but Vanya couldn't remember the last time if ever she received such an intense and desperate hug from Five.

'W-what happened to you?' she asked so confused. He was just here and then he was gone and now he was here, but all dirty and smelled like dust and-

'Number Five! Number Seven! This behaviour is inexcusable. Come inside at once!' said their father as he walked outside, his cold eyes making Vanya shiver.

' _Please_ ,' she heard in her ear as Five pressed even closer against her. Even his voice sounded different. So small and weak and just...defeated...

'Please, come with me...let's go away...please Vanya-'

'Number Seven, step away from Number Five immediately,' said her father his voice cruel and dominant. She never misbehaved before at least not to an actual order. She might have slept in Five's room, and she stole some sweets and skipped some practises and study seasons, but she never actually did something he specifically told her not to or ignored an actual order. But Five sounded so...weak and small. She was torn by the dilemma.

'NUMBER SEVEN!' her father's voice cut her like a knife hurting her in the most vulnerable part of her soul. She was already such a disappointment to him, she didn't want to be even worst...but...but...

She wasn't sure what would be her decision, but she found her arms tightening around Five's body nodding not sure if at Five's pleas or her father's orders, before she felt the worst feeling yet of being jerked like she was a raggedy doll and then force to crawl through the smallest places imaginable sucking all the air out of her making her stomach twist like inside a washing machine.

She let out a gasp trying to catch her breath or learn how to breath again as if she wasn't sure how to do it. She held onto Five for dear life trying to compose herself before she opened her eyes and found her father was gone. In fact, the whole house was gone as she realized what happened.

'Five, did you just teleported with me?' she asked looking at the unfamiliar buildings and neighbourhood over his shoulder knowing it was the only explanation how did they turn up there all of the sudden.

'There's a motel near. It will take him a while to find us,' mumbled Five against her before he let her go her body immediately cold as if on protest from missing his warm. Vanya watched with concern as he started to limp toward what she assumed was the direction of the mentioned motel.

'Five,' she called rushing after him, 'please stop. Look at me,' she took his hand which finally made him pause and look at her hand for a moment before he looked up at her face. He looked so...broken?

'Are you really here?'

Vanya didn't understand then question, but she furiously nodded, 'Of course. You can see me can't you? You can feel me, right?' she asked and squeezed his hand while lifting it so he would look at it.

His eyes were different, distant, unfocused. They moved to their joined hands for a moment before he said, 'I suppose...Klaus used to say dead don't feel like anything. You can't touch the dead.'

Vanya was so confused even more by this. She looked around them. Perhaps, it wasn't the smartest thing to do to run from their father, but now they were away from the house and Five obviously needed to lie down for a moment. He looked so wrecked it scared her to the bone.

'You said there is a motel?' she asked before she looked at him, his eyes were still on their hands, 'You were so cold...'

Vanya licked her lips feeling the fear creep into her heart before she put her hand on Five's shoulder causing him to look at her once again.

'Five, focus for a moment, alright?' she asked softly hoping it would help him a bit if she spoke calmly with him. She had no idea what she was doing, 'We'll get to the motel and talk,' she suggested hoping it would sound assuring enough to get them off the street as she noticed people walking by staring at a boy and girl in school uniforms as Five looked like he just crawled out of an demolished building.

'You will come with me,' he asked and she nodded, 'Of course, lead the way?'

Vanya wasn't sure about it, but Five snatched the key from the unattended desk and lead her to one of the rooms before he locked it and pushed the curtains shut groaning in pain as he did the last one.

'Five, seriously, what's wrong?' she asked worried. This was not alright. None of this was alright. Five ran from the house determinate to time travel and disappeared in a flash of blue light different than he used to teleport in. Then he came back but from a different direction and he looked so shaken and all his clothes were ruined and he was hurt. The whole point of Five's argument with dad was that he believed he could time travelled. Could it be that he did? If so how much time had passed since he left and where the hell did he go to end up like this? She had so many questions running through her mind, but the only one which really mattered was...

_Was he alright? Was he hurt?_

'It's nothing. Don't bother with it. Just-just please...don't leave,' he said and closed his eyes his lips twisting in a pained expression.

Vanya shook her head, 'I'm not leaving, but Five...you don't look so good. Maybe...maybe mom or Pogo if not dad-'

'Don't tell anyone. Just...let's stay here...just for a while,' he said looking incredibly tired all of the sudden almost pale on the face.

'I-I just need a moment to think and rest and then I'll be good,' he said nodded several times his eyes slowly closing for good.

'Five?' asked Vanya stepping closer to him.

'It's nothing-,' he said before he fainted to the ground.

'FIVE!' she half-shouted before she rushed to his side. He was on the carpet looking so damn small and hurt she wasn't sure what to do.

She rolled him on his back something familiar to instinct and years of watching their Mom treat their wounds kicked in.

His jacket came open and she saw the red soaking through his white shirt from under it. Vanya pulled it open only to reveal a terrifying wound with torn stitches.

' _Oh God_ ,' she said feeling her stomach ready to protest against the sight of the wound, but somehow deciding not to. This was a mistake. She needed to go call dad or mom or Pogo or anyone. Five was bleeding out in front of her. It was so surreal for a moment she wasn't even sure it was real.

She got up and rushed outside hearing a baby cry from the next room.

'Hello,' she said at the front desk as she spotted the woman behind the counter who eyed her suspiciously.

'Can I help you?'

'I-I...,' she should have told her about the wound. She should have told her to call her father or the ambulance, but instead the first things which came out of her was, 'M-my mom asked if you have a first aid kit.'

The woman blinked and Vanya's ears burnt with embarrassment. She _never_ lied like this before. She never lied at all before. What the hell was she doing honestly?

The woman didn't say anything after that and reached under the counter before she pulled out the kit and hand it to her, 'Which room?'

'105,' blurred Vanya the room she heard the baby inside.

The woman nodded and Vanya hurried back to Five. He was still on the ground where she left him without movement.

'I have no idea what I'm doing. Please be okay,' she said as she kneeled next to him and opened the kit.

_Please if there is a God please do not let him die like this..._

* * *

Vanya silently watched the muted TV in front of her. In the house they didn't have one only a radio which was only one if father allowed it usually when the report was talking about the Umbrella Academy's heroic acts.

She watched the cartoon characters a mouse and a cat run around the house trying to catch or prank each other. It was funny, but she barely enjoyed it as she constantly kept on looking over at Five who was lying on the bed tugged in. She didn't want to wake him up by the TV sounds so she kept it muted. She still didn't know what was happening, but even without the wound, he looked like he have been through hell and needed to rest.

She still couldn't believe what was happening. Maybe the pills started to cause her hallucinations and none of this was real?

It sure felt surreal when her fingers pushed away his jacket and shirt to reveal a massive bleeding injure. It took everything inside her not to throw up or faint. Good thing she didn't even have time for breakfast that day.

She looked down at her fingers. No matter how much soap she applied in the small bathroom of the motel room, she could still see the dry blood under her fingernails. She should be grateful for the pills in a way because somehow she was sure that if she was without them completely she would probably freaked out on and froze or maybe she was in shock or maybe it was still a hallucination caused by the pills.

She looked at Five again.

_I will always come back..._

He did come back. He kept the promised, but at what caused? She was desperate to know what happened to him. What did he go through...why was he saying all those things which made no sense and not wanting dad around?

It was the second when the animated cat crashed into the wall that the bed jerked with the abruptness Five sat up gasping for air.

'Vanya,' he said looking all over the place as if he didn't even see her.

She leaned closer to him almost completely in front of his face, 'Five-Five, it's me. I'm here.'

He blinked at her for a couple of moments before he put his hands covered in dried blood on her cheeks, 'You're here. You're alive.'

This terrified her to no end. Where else would she be? And why wouldn't she be alive?

'Of course,' she said wanting nothing more than to smooth the panic behind Five's eyes even if she would have to lie to him or something. His eyes didn't look like his own, they felt different like eyes of a stranger or a very old friend she hasn't seen in a long time and forgot how he looked.

He let his hands fall from her face to and looked around, 'What happened? I fainted?'

She nodded, 'Yeah.'

He looked at his shirt which was unbuttoned before he pushed it open to look at his wound.

'You stitched me up again?' he asked surprised and confused which made Vanya want to laugh.

'Yeah, I saw mom do it like a million of times after your missions so I just...I don't know. It was like a reflex. You said people in traumatic situations either shut down or the adrenaline kicks in and they find a way to solve the problem. I guess I did the second one.'

Vanya chuckled a bit the stress from the situation finally letting her go a bit and lightened up. Five was awake and alive as well which was absolute relief, 'Not bad for a first timer.'

He looked up at her and his face was just so full of emotions, it caused her to shut up for a moment not being able to find the right words. He just looked so...stunned and sad and yet hopeful and desperate all mixed into one complex expression on his face. She felt like he was millions miles away running through so many different things, she would never be able to catch up with his mind. She never minded it though, as long as he found a way to get back to reality of the moment, and her.

His hand was on her cheek suddenly and she blushed under his intense look. She felt...she wasn't sure what she felt, but her heart was beating insanely fast and his gaze made her want to look away and yet not? She felt warm and funny... she wasn't sure if she liked the feeling or not.

'Uh, F-five?' her voice sounded ridiculously strange.

'I love you,' he said and her eyes widened as the shock fell upon her.

_He what-?_

This was the strangest thing she ever heard him say even more since he said it so...carelessly as if it was a matter of fact, a common sense. She didn't understand why he said it thought. Of course, they cared for each other, they were raised together and grew close for one another, he was more like her best friend than a sibling, but he never said he _loved_ her. Not in those words. He showed it in sleeping next to her when she was having nightmares and taking her out on adventures and being nice and good to her, but he never said it. And she honestly didn't know what to tell him or what it meant.

'Wh-'

'I love you, more than I love myself, and I know that you don't understand it yet. You're _so_ _young_ now, but I love you. I always loved you and I always will,' he said with confidence which was too much even for the Number Five she knew.

Vanya blinked confused by this confession...

Why did he say it? And what did it meant? No one ever told any of them those words. Not even Pogo or mom. She thought _I love you_ was just some formula used in books they read in the library, but even when she read those stories and those words she didn't really understood what them meant. She thought about it for a moment though not wanting him to just say it like that and her not reacting in some way. If people said those words to express how much they cared for one another and felt close to another other and wanted to keep safe one another then it made sense that she felt the same because she wanted all those things for Five as well.

'I...I love you _too_ ,' she said slowly even thought the words felt weird on her tongue, not because she didn't mean them, but because she wasn't sure if she fully understood their power and meaning yet.

'You don't understand what that means yet,' he said catching her off guard and causing her to frown a bit annoyed. He could always read her so easily, but now he made it sound like she was a child when they were same age. She knew he was smarter than her and often acted like the more mature one out of them, but she still didn't like such behaviour from him,

He looked away before he took a deep breath and let his hands fall from her face. Before she could say anything to him he continued, 'Listen to me very carefully alright?' he asked.

Vanya nodded making a mental note to talk about this with him as well as...think later about what his previous _confession_ meant.

'There is something which is going on. Something bad and you have to trust me, do you trust me?' he asked carefully.

'Always,' she said in a heartbeat and saw the pain flash through his eyes. What was wrong with him?

She took his hand again, 'Five?'

He shook his head fighting away the pain, but it was obvious it wasn't of physical kind.

'That's not important right now. The only thing which is important is that you do as I tell you. First do not take two pills. Don't tell dad, take one and the second hide, alright?'

She blinked.

'Alright?' he asked his voice very demanding and a bit scary.

Vanya nodded, 'Alright.'

'Good,' he nodded too squeezing her hand reassuringly, 'Second, under any circumstances what so ever do you speak or get close to anyone named Leonard...,' suddenly he stood talking blinking several times before a horrified expression came over his face, 'What? Five, what is it? Who shouldn't I talk to?'

'I...I can't remember his name,' said Five slowly after a moment. He let go of her hand before his eyes widened, 'I'm an idiot. Jesus fuck, I'm such an idiot!' he snapped causing Vanya to flinch embarrassed as she never heard Five curse like that.

He looked over the room, 'I need something to write to a notebook, a piece of paper anything.'

Vanya stood up and looked over the small room before she found some paper and a pencil. Five instantly took it and started to write down something. She watched him feeling for the first since forever like they were in completely different worlds.

She knew better than to disturb him, but he was really scaring her now, 'F-five?'

'Can't talk, I need to figure this out first,' he said and Vanya nodded even though she wasn't pleased with the reply.

She looked around the room before her stomach let out an upset groan. She hadn't eaten almost anything at breakfast, 'I will go try to get us some food alright?'

'No!' he suddenly snapped looking up at her, the same desperation and sadness as before returning. When he spoke his voice was weak again, 'You can't leave me. Don't leave me...please'

Vanya opened her mouth to say she would be right back, but his eyes...they looked so scared.

She sat back down on the bed this time next to him, and put her head against his shoulder as he continued to write down formulas and equations which she didn't understand even if she peaked at the paper.

'I'm such an idiot, I will never fail to amaze myself,' he said after what felt like hours.

Vanya rose her head from his shoulder, 'Why?'

'Because I didn't _just_ time travel, I completely changed the timeline which already happened which is causing me to forget the previous timeline. I thought that I time travelled in my old body so I wouldn't be affected by it, but this isn't my old body, it's my _thirteen_ year old body which I got when I time travelled to 2019. The reason I didn't lose my memories then was because I wasn't at 2019 before not the first time at least.'

'You lost me completely,' said Vanya shaking her head feeling like she would get a headache soon if not from Five's words then definitely from the lack of food in her stomach.

He turned fully toward her.

'Careful,' she said minding his stitches.

'Vanya, I need a notebook. I need to write things down before I forget the timeline which already happened, but didn't happen yet,' he said concerned. Vanya wished she was brighter enough to understand what he was saying because so far she was as lost as ever.

'What will happen if you forget?' she asked slowly.

'I...I don't know. Best case scenario is I will simply go back to the mentality of my thirteen year old else before I first time travelled to the future.'

'And worst?'

'I will forget everything...everything at all,' he said and Vanya swallowed hard. Father warned Five about what could time travelling do to his mind. Could this be the punishment? Was he really losing his mind already with his talks about time travelling to the future and past and 2019? But then again she saw him teleported into the blue light and way he was now, all wounded and in dirty and dusty clothes not to mention the terrifying look in his eyes.

'H-How old are you?' she asked after a moment of thinking all of those things through not that she could fully process them yet, 'You said this is your thirteen year old body, but not your old one?'

He hesitated before he said, 'Fifty-eight.'

Vanya watched him for a moment before she crocked one eyebrow at him, 'Ah, so do I get to call you grandpa now?'

The shock on his face lasted for good two second before he chuckled and covered his face. For a moment she smiled thinking she finally calmed him down a bit before she heard the second sound. It wasn't a chuckle.

'I'm sorry, it was a joke-'

He pulled his hands from his face and shook his head a small tear rolling down his cheek, 'It's nothing, I'm sorry. I...I need a notebook. I need to write everything down before it will be erased from my memory.'

Vanya nodded even if she wanted to tell him that it wasn't _nothing_ , and he should tell her, 'Alright.'

He grabbed her hand again, 'I-I know this is all too much, and too fast, but...I really need you to trust me...I can't...I can't do this without you.'

He was just so...broken Vanya felt like her heart was bleeding for him. What happened to him? What happened to that confident and cocky boy who made her laugh and never backed down?

She looked into his eyes. They looked so hurt. He was so hurt and not just on the body, but also on the mind and soul and Vanya didn't know how to help with those wounds. She wanted to. God, she wanted to help him so much, but she didn't know how and she was scared and confused by all the things she didn't understand.

She wanted to ask him about it all. She wanted him to tell her, but perhaps that was not what he needed right now, he needed a notebook and pen to write things down, so that was what she would give him.

'I trust you, Five,' she said with far more confidence than she thought she had left inside of her.

She watched as something shifted behind Five's eyes again, but for the first time since this broken boy pulled her into a crushing hug, it was something positive. He looked relieved and a bit grateful, so Vanya knew she was making the right call by waiting. Maybe all could be well...

The door despite being locked was suddenly broke open causing Vanya to jump from the bed and Five to kneel up to see who was the intruder.

Luther walked inside the room with his mask on before he looked to the corridor, 'Found them.'

* * *

'What happened?'

'Is Five really messed in the head now?'

'Why did you run?'

'What were you two lovebirds doing in the motel?'

'W-why did you run after h-him?'

She ignored all of her siblings and instead run to the medical room once Luther finally let go of her elbow as he dragged her like a caveman back to the house with Five wrestling with father all the way trying him to let them go screaming at him that he didn't understand and he had to write it all down. It was a horrifying image with people looking all around them before they finally got to the car.

'Vanya, wait!' called Ben.

'Let her go if she wants,' said Allison which was the last thing Vanya heard as she finally got to the hallway.

'A-a-a! Young lady, I told you all to stay downstairs,' said Grace as tried to hold her in place. Their usually nice and caring mother now gripping her arm a bit too tight.

Five's screams became louder and more violent as apparently he realized Vanya wasn't by his side anymore.

Vanya's ears almost bleed from Five's horrifying screams. It was impossible to listen to them. It was like he was being skinned alive, and it made her close her eyes feeling as if she was hurt along with him. It was like they bled the same.

'VANYA! No! I WANT TO SEE HER! Pleeeease let me see her! I need to see her!' filled the hallway and most likely the whole house.

She broke free from mom's hold and rushed to the medical room, 'Stop. Please. Let me be with him!' she screamed right before their father grabbed her elbow, 'Leave the room now! I will decide your punishment later, Number Seven.'

Vanya looked from her father's cold eyes to Five who looked her way and reached his arm for her.

'Vanya...Vanya Vanya please, don't...don't leave me again...,' he kept on repeating his voice softer this time, no more screaming as his eyes kept on hers.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. She needed to be there with him. He _needed_ her. He looked so hurt and broke, she couldn't leave him, not when he was so desperate about staying.

She felt so powerless being held by the iron grip of Luther, Grace and now her father like she was cuffed or locked and she couldn't get out. Her mind brought her back to the dark room with no one around and no way out and she felt like screaming.

The monitor which they attached with electrodes to Five's head was beeping in a rhythmical sound probably recording his brain activity.

She heard her father tell her something probably more words about how she should leave and listen to him, but it was like the sound of his voice was fading into the background with the only thing with a clear sound in the room the rhythmical sound of the device. She felt strange. She felt like there was some kind of bubble filled with pressure inside of her growing and growing until it couldn't grow any further and just...burst.

'NO!' she screamed and suddenly a few bottles in the shelves broke all at once startling their father who took a step away from her almost as if he was the one who was afraid.

Vanya literally stamped her foot down feeling what felt for the first time in her life actually angry about her father's behaviour more than anything else.

'I'm not leaving him! I won't leave him alone!' she said upset and she would have sworn she felt the room shake a bit.

'Five needs me and wants me here. I'm staying,' she said finally surprised at her own boldness which was so unlike her she for a moment wasn't sure if she actually said it.

Her father looked over at Pogo who was still holding down Number Five who was trying to reach for her mumbling her name and calling for her.

'V-very well, number Seven,' said her father for the first time in Vanya's life sounding unsure about something.

'You...you may stay with number Five.. _.for now_ ,' he said and Vanya rushed toward Five without a second to spare, Pogo stepping aside so she could take his hand.

'Vanya?' asked Five sounding so tired all of the sudden all the fight inside him probably gone, now that he knew she was there and could stay.

'I'm here, Five. I'm always here,' she told him quietly hoping it would bring him some comfort to know he was not alone.

She heard her father tell Pogo what to do after that but he still sounded shaken. She ignored him keeping all her attention on Five who's eyes never left hers until the sedative kicked in and his eyes closed.

Old man or not, his eyes still made her feel the same...a connection, and belonging. Nothing and no one else in the whole house full of people ever did that for her. He made her feel like she was worth something and like she was a real person. He just...she couldn't explain what Five did exactly, maybe it was just that he included her into his life, but it was enough to make her feel real, cared for and... _loved_. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense, whatever love was...this must have been it.

She leaned her forehead down to his and pressed it against his as if somehow she could see what he was dreaming about right now and if possible making all the potential nightmares go away standing guard for him just like he did for her when he came to sleep next to her.

* * *

**17 years after – old timeline**

When they were younger Vanya always assumed she would be the damsel in the situation like this, not the hero, not like her siblings who could all take care of themselves in any situation and beat the bad guys saving the day. Vanya knew she wasn't like them, no matter how much she played pretend that she was. In her mind whenever Vanya logically looked at it, if she ever found herself in a heroic scenario, she would always be the damsel, victim, the one who needed saving. It proved to be true when she was mugged when she was twenty-five, when she was attacked by Hazel and Cha-cha a couple of days before and when Peabody kidnapped her.

Yet, now she didn't feel like a damsel. Not at all, she made the most heroic move of her entire life, and she had to say being a hero _sucked._

It was a moment which felt like a lifetime, as Vanya looked over at the armed man she knocked out of her way with her uncontrollable powers. The gun was left on the ground. She just picked it up. She never held a gun before, but she watched in secret as their father showed her siblings how it was used. The safety was already off, so she just pointed it against the side of her face, her eyes landing on Five who had his back to her struggling with one of the guards. She remembered wishing he would turn around, but then she pulled the trigger before he would. It was better if he didn't see what she did. There was no pain, no agony, she didn't even hear the gunshot really or felt the bullet. There was just nothing, but the feeling of all that raging power in her veins suddenly being gone as if it was never there in the first place.

Vanya looked down at herself. She felt so strange like she was…just shallow…empty. Just nothing really. Not even the numbness from her pills ever made her feel like this.

_Oh…so this was how being a ghost felt like._

'Vanya?' she heard a voice she hadn't in almost a decade.

'B-ben,' she breathed out and smiled. Ben, was here. He was looking almost the same as when he passed away, and even considering everything she felt a bit grateful that she got to see him now.

'Ben,' she said with the smallest painful smile, 'I missed you, so much.'

He was by her side in an instant and tried to take her hand.

'Oh,' she said as their hands went through each other. Apparently ghost couldn't find comfort even in each others' touches.

'Vanya, what did you do?' asked Ben his eyes so sad. It made her want to cry if she could, but it felt like her tears just…wouldn't come out.

She heard Klaus's desperate cries now. He was looking at her. So he really was sober now.

She watched as Five's head snapped to the direction she was standing, but with how unfocused his eyes were she knew he didn't see her. He looked right through her. It broke her heart more than anything in the world ever would.

_I love you._

He said he loved her. All her life she wished for someone to say that to hear and mean it, and he did. She felt like cheated. She felt like the world pulled the last unfair move against her with all of this. All her life wanting powers to belong, only to get them and either end the world or end herself. All her life wanting find someone who would care for her for who she was, and now having that someone only to have to leave him.

_How is this fair?_

She pressed a hand against her chest as she realized all her life she wanted something and she actually had it, both the powers and Five, she just never realized it until it was too late.

'Vanya, this is not good. Why did you do that?' asked Ben.

'I didn't want to be the damsel for once,' she said and shrugged her shoulders, 'I…I couldn't' do it any other way. The Handler said…she said I would destroy the world. I always destroy the world,' said Vanya and shook her head before she stepped closer to Five who was holding her lifeless body in his arms cradling it with such love she had to shut her eyes. She couldn't keep on looking at this.

She loved him so much she never thought was possible. She never thought she was capable of loving someone like that let alone that someone returning her feelings.

'Vanya,' spoke Ben again always the voice of reason and honesty, 'You broke his heart.'

'I…I broke mine too,' she said as she opened her eyes watching Diego try to talk to Five but he wouldn't let him flinching away from him and standing up.

'I love you,' she whispered her voice shaking even if she knew he couldn't hear her.

She rose her hand and put it on his shoulder her eyes widened, 'Ben? I'm touching him.'

'What?' asked Ben confused as he tried to take a step closer, but Vanya was sure. She actually touched his shoulder, 'I'm touching hi-'

Suddenly she felt something very warm sucked her in.

* * *

**17 years ago – now – new timeline**

Vanya sat up confused and startled from the dream. Her fingers immediately started to exam the side of her head as if they were looking for an entry wound of a bullet, but there wasn't any. It was just a dream. Still, she couldn't help feeling so shaken by it even with Five soundly sleeping by her side in the medical room now. Could it be...could be...

No, it was just a dream caused by everything which happened that day. That was all. She looked over at Five's sleeping form before she laid back down, her hand reaching over to take his which was also leaning from his bed.

Grace prepared a bed right next to his. She would feel better if she could sleep in his, but Pogo warned her about pulling one of the wires to the machine, so she settled for being close and holding his hand. Father didn't look pleased, but he also didn't look as angry as before just lost in thoughts. She was half expecting him to cut her off dinner, but he order Grace to bring her something after the rest had dinner. She noticed Grace brought her pills after she fell asleep.

The memory of Five's words echoed in her mind. She took the pill and pretended to put it into her mouth as if someone was looking before she crushed it in her wrist turning it to white dust she then brushed against her PJs.

After that she linked her fingers with Five's hoping he would wake up soon her mind still a mess from all the questions she had running inside. For a moment she found herself once again touching the spot on the side of her head with her free hand. Still not bullet wound.

_Just a dream..._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: So it's April the 3rd here so we survived the apocalypse. Yay?
> 
> I would like you thank you all for the AMAZING feedback I got through the course of this whole story and especially the last chapter because it was very emotional thing for me to write. I 'killed' characters before but never main ones and never in such brutal way that it really made me think about all of it. I know I started all of this with cute moments and then basically threw a bomb with the gunshot, but I really felt like doing so for this story to carry on.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you will find some clarity and answers in this chapter. I also hope you are still interested in reading the story even if I broke many of yours hearts.
> 
> To be honest this chapter and this new plot was one of three possibilities when I started writing for where the story would go, and this one was the one I decided to stick with. I know I changed so many things and basically threw the canon out of the window, I am not sure if this won't suck in the end. I hope not because writing this is super fun and interesting even if sometimes exhausting and sad. Still I have many things I want to let out before the final chapter. So far as you know I was mostly doing chapter with plots per day. Like a new chapter was usually happening the next day from the previous one except for the one where Vanya was kidnapped, now however I might skip a bit forward. The next chapter will be still the next day/days kind, but it is possible I will write the one after that which will be forwarded a couple of years into the future. This is something I have been thinking about lately and I think it might come out pretty good. I hope… ah anyway, enough about that.
> 
> Enjoy :)


	12. Chapter 12

**27 years ago**

When Number Five teleported to the past, he knew all the risks of what could have happened. Time travelling was a toss of a coin, he could ended up just in the same moment before Vanya pulled the trigger, or the second before Luther locked her up, or three thousand years before they were even born. At this point however, he didn't care. He didn't care as he needed to go, he needed to try. The moment the gunshot broke through the silence of his deafness, he knew he needed to go back and stop this somehow. Anywhere would be better than right here.

Time travelling as amazing and magnificent it sounded when he was young, fucking sucked.

He ended up on the floor coughing. Teleporting could be exhausting and even painful if he did it too many times, but time travelling was worse, so much worse even if he only did it once.

He tried to get up slowly his fingers digging into the carpet under him. He was inside a room...

Vanya's lifeless face flashed through his eyes but he shook his head.

_No, no, focus! It doesn't matter! You time travelled! She's not dead! She's not dead yet! You can still save her!_

'Who're you?' asked a small child voice causing Five to froze for a second before he rose his head and found a little child in a long white nighty looking at him from the doorway of their lounge. Holy shit! He travelled back, but to what time? He house felt different.

His eyes widened as the girl walked closer. She looked about three or four years old and so incredibly small, but he recognized her. He recognized the little thing instantly.

' _Vanya_ ,' he said and the little girl titled her head smiling a bit.

'Hi.'

He wanted to cry. He wanted to reach out of her and cry like a baby, but instead he closed his eyes trying to calm himself down. The last thing he needed was to freak her out and cause her to scream for Pogo or dad or a nanny.

He opened his eyes startled a bit that the girl was now directly in front of him looking at him, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and wonder. Something he never saw in Vanya's eyes before. Probably because this was before their father's cruel words, and ignorance and before he broke her spirit and before Five himself left and made her just so broken knowing everyone always left or rejected her.

'Hi,' he said softly hearing his own voice was weak.

The little girl smiled at him before she rose her little hand and touched his cheek right under where he assumed he had a bruise from the fight.

'Are you hurt?' she asked in hushed voice looking at the bruise, 'Nanny says we have to say if we're hurt.'

'No,' he said and shook his head and whispered back at her, 'I'm...alright.'

He had to clench his fist so he wouldn't start crying. She was fucking four years old and still so caring and just so _Vanya_ like even if she was still just Number Seven it broke his heart all over again.

Vanya looked away before she skipped a bit finding interested in a lamp next to him as she started to turn it on and off.

Five tried to get a hold of himself.

He travelled back, but he travelled too far. Vanya was only a child and so were the rest of them, but this was good, this meant he would have to go somewhere to the future maybe just a bit...maybe just a little bit so he would change the equation on his wall when he was thirteen and make himself not jump to the future and get stuck, so he wouldn't leave her. If he didn't leave her everything would be different.

'Seven,' he heard another whisper come from the doorway. He froze in place as Vanya turned on the light and he recognized his four year old self in the doorway frowning at him.

Five looked over at Seven who smiled at his younger self before she turned to him and pointed at his younger self, 'That's Five, we're married and we're playing hide and seek but don't tell the nanny.'

His eyes widened because he definitely did not remember _that_.

'M-married?' he repeated the word slowly.

Vanya nodded and gave him a smile while younger Five continued to frown at him, but he didn't look embarrassed by it.

'Yes, she's my wife,' he said and nodded as if he was making a point.

Five didn't know what to think about it or if he should. Somewhere in the absolute back of his mind, he remembered the nanny reading them some fairytales before father forbid it, and he remembered someone was talking about how princesses and princes married each other, but he just thought that was Luther and Allison. Jesus, just how long has he been crushing on Vanya?

'Okay,' he said and watched as his younger self started to walk toward them frowning at him before he took Vanya's hand and tried to make her step away from him, 'Who're you?'

Of course even as a kid he was a suspicious and protective of Vanya little shit.

'James,' he said automatically knowing if it wasn't for the situation and the pain of witnessing the woman you love die, he would probably smirk at the personal joke.

'What do you want?' asked his younger self clearly not happy about Vanya having a new friend. Not that he blame him. This sort of behaviour was something he definitely expected from himself and couldn't help, but find it as universal karma that he had to deal with himself. Gosh, he really could be a little annoying shit couldn't he?

Vanya pulled at his younger self's hand, 'Don't be mean.'

Five swallowed a bit feeling the pain on his side getting worse. He couldn't stay here. Reginald would never believe him and even so he would only suppress Vanya's powers as usual. Not to mention if the commission came looking for him, which they will, they would find two Number Fives in this timeline without a problem. That were the sort of anomalies they hunted for sport. He couldn't let his younger self get hurt or worse killed or he would be erased as well.

He motioned for the two to come closer and watched as his younger self came unwillingly only because Vanya pulled his hand. Gosh, could it be that ever though she was so young and he looked so different she recognized him, or could she feel he meant no harm even if he looked like this? Could it be that somehow they always trusted themselves like this? Recognized each other like this even trough time? Were close like this even if they met for the first time in a way?

He carefully put both of his hands on each other them and looked from one to another. He knew nothing he would say at this moment would have any real meaning in the future since he himself couldn't remember sneaking up with Vanya to play when they were this little.

'Take care of each other, okay?' he told them before he got up.

'Where are you going?' asked his younger self.

'To the future,' he smirked before he teleported again this time changing the equations a bit.

* * *

**17 years ago**

He took a couple of deep breaths. It still fucking sucked but at least he didn't collapses like before. He looked around recognizing his own room during the day. He peaked outside to the hallway. The whole house appeared silent. Where was everybody? He needed to find out what year it was.

He quickly started to look through his room until he noticed his walls. He was working on time travelling equations, so he had to be at least twelve or older. He was close, but not yet at the end which meant it was before he jumped maybe a week mostly two.

He got out of his room only to catch a glimpse of Vanya slowly walking into her own room. His feet moved on his own as he rushed after her the pain from his wound forgotten for a moment.

She was sitting on her bed starting out of the window.

'Vanya,' he breathed out. She didn't even look at him. It didn't matter. She was alive. She was still alive and here now. She was still breathing, no bullet wound or blood. She was right here in front of him.

Five rushed toward her and pulled her into an embrace but she was like a doll not responding.

He leaned away and put his hands on her cheeks, 'Vanya? Vanya...'

Her eyes were so distant. He closed his eyes feeling the anger run through him. He remembered now. This was after their father caught them sharing a bed and forced her to take more pills making her into a zombie. This was why he wanted to time travel. He wanted to go see a happier future for them and then change the past so their father wouldn't find them, so Luther wouldn't rat them out.

'Number Five,' whispered Vanya her voice without any emotion like it was just an shallow echo of her real voice which always made his day just because he could hear her and knew she was there with him, always by his side.

'I'll fix this. I promise. I'll fix it,' he told her, but she didn't even blink just watched him her eyes so...lost and unfocused.

He leaned toward her and pressed a desperate kiss to her forehead. He would fix all of it. He promised himself. Despite everything inside him rioting against it, he let go of her and walked out of the room. He couldn't stay. Despite how desperately he wanted to take her away and throw out her pills, he knew if he did so, his younger self who was still here would try to find her, there was no doubt about that.

Five left her room knowing she probably didn't even move from the bed before he rushed back to his own. He went over the series of formulas on his wall. He needed to find the mistake he made which caused him to end up in 2019. He only meant to do three jumps to August 2002 to December 2002 and then to May 2003 and then come back, but he made an error and ended up in April 2019 instead. Over the long and painful decades there, he even came to realization of what was the mistake, but his powers refused to be working in the wasteland correctly so he couldn't go back until much later.

His eyes scared his handwriting until they stopped and he was left utterly confused.

_This...isn't possible._

He watched his own handwriting knowing he could see it with his own eyes, but still found it hard to believe.

He didn't make a mistake. All was correct, all was calculated correctly, then why didn't it work like it should have?

He ran his fingers though his hair ready to pull it out because how was _this_ possible? What happened?

He swallowed hard trying to calm down and reminded himself he only had God knew how much time before his younger self and the rest of his siblings would return from their mission.

Still, it made no sense, how could he get stuck if he didn't make a mistake, how could he...

He froze in place...because he made a mistake later...

His eyes fell on the number 29 which he later incorrectly assumed it was 58. Why or how he came to the conclusion that 29 was supposed to be 58 he couldn't remember, because he didn't make that conclusion. Someone else made it for him.

He felt sick not just from the wounds and pain, but from the realization that as impossible as it sounded, someone purposely changed his equations to make a mistake which caused him to end up stuck in the apocalypse, which Vanya caused. For a brief moment he thought if it wasn't just a prank by one of his brother or perhaps their father or maybe even the commission just trying to fuck him over, until he realized he would notice if the numbers weren't in his hand writing. He always noticed everything.

Five understood now, that it was _his_ future self just as he was now which had to make the mistake so that he would go to the future try and stop the apocalypse and try and stop Vanya.

He punched the headboard of his bed.

'Fuck!'

This was terrible, a disaster even. What was he supposed to do now? He was supposed to stop himself from going to the future so he would stay with Vanya, but now...how could he? If he never time travel commission would caught on to it, not to mention who was to say he would reconnect with Vanya if he was just a thirteen year old kid scared of their father shipping her off to England?

Ridiculous really.

He chuckled in desperation.

He couldn't even trust himself.

_Fuck it all._

He grabbed the pen and turned the 29 into 58 before he stepped away, before he would change his mind and cause even more problems.

Vanya felt guilty for trapping him in the hell of her creation, but the true was he personally send himself there, and he would do it gladly all over again if it meant he had a shot at saving her.

_The things we do for love..._

He heard voices and footsteps approaching quickly. He didn't have time to waist. He focused once again feeling that he was getting tired each other before he time travelled once more.

* * *

**17 years ago – new timeline**

Five time travelled seven seconds into the moment he knew he time jumped for the first time in his life. The day, the moment he ran away and got stuck in the future.

He was surprised to say the least when he saw Vanya in front of him covering her eyes as the light from the time travelling must have blinded her for a moment.

'V-vanya,' he said feeling his voice so much weaker now. Time travelling so many times was incredibly tiring and he felt like passing out, but the moment he saw her alive, safe and finally _not numb_ from those fucking meds, knowing that this was where he was staying, that he was not going anywhere until he fucking fix it. He just lost it...

Vanya opened her mouth like she wanted to ask something, but he cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug almost collapsing on top of her. He wanted to pure all his desperation and joy that he had her there in his arms alive into the hug knowing he was probably scaring her since he never hugged her like this before.

'Five,' she breathed his name against his shoulder as she hesitantly put her arms around him.

He knew they didn't use to hug. He knew this. He knew he was probably freaking her out more than anything, but fuck he couldn't just deal with any of that now. She was here, and he was not leaving her. Hell, he wasn't letting her out of his sight for the next fifty or more years because he was in no way letting anything happen to her ever again.

The pain hit him in full wave.

_I love you..._

'W-what happened to you?' she asked so confused. Her voice so sweet, and concerned and just so young. She was a child, but she was here and she was alive and not a zombie influenced by her pills, and he just lost her and he had to control himself around her past selves, but not this one, because this wasn't a past self. This was Vanya, the one and the only and the present one, and he was not letting her go no matter what.

'Number Five! Number Seven! This behaviour is inexcusable. Come inside at once!' said their father as he walked outside.

Five felt Vanya shiver in his arms, but he couldn't let her go. He couldn't let her leave him again.

' _If you must leave-'_

' _-I told you I won't ever-'_

' _-don't ever leave without a goodbye.'_

She made him promise, but she was the one who left without one in the end, just shooting herself making sure he wouldn't see her, wouldn't stop her. His ridiculously caring and brave Vanya.

' _Please_ ,' whispered Five pressed even closer against her. He couldn't let her go...

'Please, come with me...let's go away...please Vanya-'

'Number Seven, step away from Number Five immediately,' said her father his voice cruel and dominant, but Vanya didn't break the embrace, she didn't move away or push him away. She remained in his arms even if she flinched every time their father spoke.

'NUMBER SEVEN!'

Five wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up already, but he felt Vanya's arms tightened around him before she nodded against his shoulder. It was all the confirmation he needed before he teleported with her to the other side of the street knowing their father would not have time to catch them for now.

She let out a gasp trying to catch her breath apparently holding onto Five for dear life for a moment. She must have been in shock as his past version never did such a thing such a thing with her.

'Five, did you just teleported with me?' she asked her voice showing signs she was stunned and in awe from the experience and he felt the stabbing pain in his heart return as he remembered how he first time travelled with her.

' _Admit it, there's a bit of a thrill to have yourself be pushed like that through such a small space.'_

' _Say that I'm right.'_

' _You're a control freak, that's what you are.'_

He painfully remembered their flirtation in the attic.

'There's a motel near. It will take him a while to find us,' mumbled Five against her before he finally allowed himself to let her go. He had to hold himself together. She was here, wasn't she? Even if she didn't remember anything about their past or her future did it even matter? It didn't for him. All that mattered was that she was alive and safe and he could protect her now. He would protect her now with his life, and he will save her.

He started to limp toward what she assumed was the direction of the mentioned motel.

'Five,' she called rushing after him, 'please stop. Look at me,' she took his hand which finally made him pause and look at her hand for a moment before he looked up at her face.

_She's here and she's still Vanya..._

'Are you really here?' he asked a small, the smallest part of him, still needing to ask, if it wasn't just his mind playing tricks on him. If maybe he didn't just go inside from the fucking feeling of having your heart burnt out of your chest after watching the woman you love die on the ground. He wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure about anything. He time travelled and signed himself up to a live in hell literally, he lost her and now he was here in his thirteen year old body surrounded by their thirteen year old siblings and he had no idea if he made the right decision or not, but fuck it he needed to be with her at least for a while alone. Just with her.

She furiously nodded, 'Of course. You can see me can't you? You can feel me, right?' she asked and squeezed his hand.

His eyes moved to their hands. He could feel her, and touch her so she had to be here. She _had_ to be alive.

'I suppose...Klaus used to say dead don't feel like anything. You can't touch the dead,' he tried to apply logical reasoning to his fears and madness.

He watched her hands. They were here. They were alive. He had time...gosh, he had so much time. He could fix it. He could save her. She was alive. She was here and alive and so painfully _young_ , but she was here.

She wasn't dead anymore. There wasn't blood coming out of her head anymore. She wasn't crying anymore. She wasn't...

'You were so cold...'

Her hand landed on his shoulder, 'Five, focus for a moment, alright?' her voice was soft.

'We'll get to the motel and talk,' she suggested and brought him back to the moment.

'You will come with me,' he asked and she nodded, 'Of course, lead the way?'

He spotted the front desk unattended at their arrival and teleported to snatch the key from one of the rooms.

He got her in feeling the pain from his side spreading and the affecting his vision. He was feeling dizzy. How long was it since he broke his stitches? He was sure it was during the explosion when they fell to the ground with Vanya or maybe after the shooting...

He pushed closed all the curtains in the room with his head spinning now. He wouldn't last much longer.

No, no, he had to. He had to fix himself. He didn't just made himself jump to the wasteland to suffer for decades for nothing. He didn't just do that to faint in a motel room.

'Five, seriously, what's wrong?' she asked worried. She sounded so worried, he couldn't fully see her face clearly as he was getting more and more tired, but he could hear it in her sweet teenage voice. She was _so young_...

_I love you..._

'It's nothing. Don't bother with it. Just-just please...don't leave,' he said and closed his eyes his lips twisting in a pained expression as the pain once again shot through him. He was freaking her out. He was freaking himself out, because he felt...he felt...

Her voice came as if from a distance...why? Did she go somewhere? Did she leave...?

'I'm not leaving, but Five...you don't look so good. Maybe...maybe mom or Pogo if not dad-'

'Don't tell anyone. Just...let's stay here...just for a while,' he spoke not sure where he was anymore as the while room went dark. He needed to lay down for a bit.

'I-I just need a moment to think and rest and then I'll be good,' he said and nodded several times or so he thought.

'Five?' asked Vanya. Oh...sweet thirteen year old Vanya always looking so corned and caring and loving. How could he not see this sooner? How could he be such an idiot and fell for Monocle's threats and leave her like this? How?!

'It's nothing-,' he said before the dark consumed him completely.

* * *

**17 years ago- old timeline**

Five felt excited. He knew he was being ridiculous and maybe even causing suspicious with his knee bouncing during dinner and the way Diego kept looking over at him raising his eyebrows at him, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't keep it inside him. Not really. He read about the alignment of the planets in one of the books which predicted the next one starting this week. He wanted to see it. His first thought was to tell Vanya and ask her if she wanted to come with him.

As he prepared for it, he figured he could ask their siblings as well. They started to sneak out together to go to Griddy's so maybe it would be the nice thing to do to ask them, but the more he thought about it, the less he liked the thought of all of them being there.

He wanted…he sort of only wanted Vanya to be there with him. He knew he was spending time with her, a lot, more than with the rest of his family, but he just…the whole thing felt pretty special as it only happened once every decade or so, and he felt he wanted to share it only with her. Then again it made sense since he liked her to most from all his siblings and spent the most time with her, even sharing a bed with her.

So he decided to only ask her to come in the end. He liked the thought far more, and he would just sneak out with his siblings next time to make up for it. He felt buzzed with excitement.

He waited the appropriate amount of time before the lights went off and everyone including the adults went to sleep before he poked Vanya who also fell asleep, awake.

Vanya groaned as she felt Five poking at her shoulder, 'What?'

'Come on, we're going out for an adventure, remember?' he said and couldn't help a smirk form on his lips. He wanted to see how would she react and what would she say and just…he wanted to show her.

'What?' she asked so sleepy. He almost felt bad that he woke her up, but he really _wanted_ to show her.

'Something extraordinary?' he hinted and she closed her eyes momentarily sinking back into sleep before he violently shoved the covers away from her, 'Get up before I make you.'

She opened her eyes again and sat up. He knew _that_ would work.

'Should I get dressed?' she asked slowly before she yawned.

'Only if you don't want to get hypothermia,' he told her honestly.

She groaned again and went to her wardrobe as Five teleported to his room to change before he reappeared and went to her window.

'Whoa, what are you doing?' she went to stop him as he pushed it up all the way.

'It will be safer than going down the stairs. I don't want others to see us,' he clarified, and looked down making sure no one was around to see them there either.

'Is something the matter? I thought you didn't mind going out with others,' she said something like worry in her voice.

'Hm?' he asked one foot already out of the window, 'Yeah, no, I like it. It's hilarious to watch food competitions between Luther and Diego and then bet who will throw up first, but this…I just wanted to show it just to you,' he said and frowned a bit stopping in his movement as he realized something. This was something _he_ wanted. He didn't know if she did. Maybe she thought they were spending too much time together and wanted some alone time. It didn't even occur to him. He was so caught up with just wanting to show her his new _toy_ that he didn't even consider her feelings or that maybe she was his most liked from the house, but he wasn't hers.

'Unless, you don't want to,' he said slowly giving her the option of making her own choice, but Vanya must have catch the small worry in his voice that she actually wouldn't want to go with him because she offered him her best smile, 'Don't be silly. Of course, I do, I just thought something was wrong.'

He was satisfied with her answer before he looked down and said, 'Alright, I need you to trust me and be very _very_ careful, alright?' he asked knowing that this wasn't the usual thing Vanya was used to. She didn't have physical exercise the way they did so she probably wasn't quick on reflexes or physical shape.

'If I fall and break something, I blame you,' she told him as he was out of the window, 'If you fall and break something, I will run away and join the circus because dad would probably kill me.'

'For breaking the rules sure,' she said nonchalant, but the thought cause him to shiver before he reminded himself he wouldn't let her. He would catch her of course.

'For getting you hurt,' he said seeing that she followed his steps carefully making sure she stepped exactly where he did.

'I don't think dad would care enough for that, but it would be very mean of you to cause my injury and run away on me,' she told him as they slowly moved through the wall.

Five easily jumped over the empty space to the drain waiting for. This was the worst part because Vanya had to literally jump the two steps to the drain to be able to get down.

He could see she hesitated and he didn't blame her, she was literally going to _jump_ on the second floor with no hand holding or step. Now that they were actually here he felt his own confidence shaking a bit.

'Hey, it's alright,' he spoke suddenly and rose his brows as he asked, 'You trust me, right?'

He didn't even get an answer before Vanya jumped toward him and the drain.

Now he could see, she wouldn't make it so he quickly jumped as well dragging her to the drain by her shoulder smashing her body against it and keeping his over hers to make sure she wouldn't fall down since she wasn't holding any of the metallic bars on the drain in the moment. He was keeping her in place for a couple of felt sick to his stomach as he realized what just happened, she jumped and almost fell down because of him. Suddenly he wasn't confident about it at all.

Neither of them move for a good while as Five was trying to calm himself.

_She's fine. You caught her, and she's fine._

_But I'm not_ …

He wasn't. She almost fell because of him. He didn't even consider that she would, but seeing her was very scary. If he was slower, if his reflexes weren't so good, if he waited a second longer...

_Fuck_

'Move your foot to the left there is a small metallic bar,' said Five his voice sounding a bit off even to himself as he felt the fear consuming his heart.

'Are you okay?' he whispered into her ear after he felt her foot find the bar to step on.

She pressed her head against the drain, her voice a bit shaken, 'Yeah….no.'

He chuckled a bit from the stress of the situation his hand brushing her back maybe to calm himself more than to calm her.

'Don't worry. We'll go through the door on the way back.' No way in hell he was ever doing something as dangerous as this with her again.

She nodded just as he took her hand and put it on another metallic bar. He shifted a bit against her before he put her other hand in place.

'I'm gonna climb down first. Don't let go, until you feel both feet are steadily on one of the bars, alright?' he asked his voice still edgy.

He patted her back a bit awkwardly as she nodded. He wished he didn't have to let her go at all, but there was no other way for them to get down so he did making sure he would stay close in case she lost a bar and God forbid fell.

'Are you alright?' asked Five and she nodded before looking at him once they were down. She could have fallen. He was such a colossal idiot. He got so excited, he put her life in danger. He felt so disappointed in himself more than ever. Not even father's harsh words ever made him feel like this.

She took his hand into hers, probably seeing in his eyes how upset he was about it all, 'I'm fine. Thanks for keeping me safe.'

His eyes softened, the fear fading away, but he was still a bit tense as he nodded and pointed to the backyard.

There was a large blanket on the grass. She didn't let his hand go and neither did he hers as he walked her toward it.

He laid down, and she followed his lead lying upside down from him. His heart was still racing a bit too fast.

'Today is the first day of the clustering,' said Five suddenly while looking up feeling a bit better now that they were here safe and sound watching the sky, 'What's that?'

'The alignment of the planets. Last time it occurred was in 1997,' he explained to her, 'Oh, so we can see them?'

He pointed each of the planet naming them, 'Five of them at least. Venus, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury.'

He felt her snuggle into the blanket a bit as Five proceeded to tell her about his knowledge of astronomy and the sighting. She was always a good listener.

'It feels strange doesn't it?' she asked suddenly surprising even herself after a moment of silence on both ends.

'What does?' he asked curious. He was always curious after one of his theories or lectures about what she wanted to say. Something he just wished they could talk for hours discussing their ideas and hopes and dreams. Just lay together somewhere and talk just the two of them. Sometimes, it was enough. He didn't need to be clever than the others, or time travel, or beat up bad guys, and get rewards, sometimes just being close to Vanya and talking to her in hushed voices was enough to make him feel good about life…happy even. Other times however, it felt like nothing could satisfy him, and he was going nowhere always in the same circles.

'Well, we're here right now just _so insignificant_ compare to the larger picture, to the whole planet, to the universe. If something happened and we would die the world would just keep on spinning like nothing happened. Like someone could just invent the cure for cancer and yet in the universe it wouldn't even make a different,' she said and he felt like she knocked the air out of his lungs. It was something he was worried about at times too, now more than ever after the old man once again shot him down. He had been working on his equations for months and months, he wanted to achieve greatness, he wanted to prove himself to his father, to the world to everyone…but mostly to himself. He wanted to achieve _something_ worth remembering him for. Not just as number Five, one of the Umbrella Academy, but something of his own. _His own._

'Something it scares me as well,' he found himself confessing. There were moments just like this one, where he felt so small almost pocketsize and vulnerable and the only person he felt he could be with like this, was with her.

'What does?' she echoed his previous question with her hand finding his behind his head and pulling it from under him to grip.

'That…I will never achieve anything which will matter,' he said his voice strange, sadder, almost lonely. He felt a bit lonely in that moment. He wondered if people felt like that too…

She leaned on her side to look at his profile, he could sense her gaze, 'How come? Five, you're the most incredibly person I know. I can't imagine you not achieving something _great_ and magnificent.'

He turned his head to look at her. They were upside down, it felt weird to see her like this. He had the strangest urge to lean forward and kiss her again just like they did all those weeks ago. He pushed it away and thought about the answer.

'Dad says I'm an idiot when I talk about my theories,' he confessed changing the course of his thoughts. She looked surprised by his confession, which made sense, he knew he acted like an overconfident _knowitall_ jerk at times.

'Dad says a lot of things. He also thinks I'm a useless tool and yet you told me I'm not. He can't be wrong about one and but right about the other one, now can he?' she asked him logically and watched as an upside down smile pulled at his face. He felt like he only ever smiled like this for her.

'You're starting to show,' he said and tickled her cheek a bit with his fingers. Her skin was so soft, 'I'm being a bad influence on you.'

She grinned, 'Maybe _you're_ starting to show. All this anxiety. Careful or dad will make you make my pills.'

They watched each other for a moment before she spoke, 'I know dad says hurtful things, but don't let them get you. You're Number Five. You're…the most brilliant person I know.'

His fingers stoke her cheek again. Maybe it was the illusion of the light from the stars, but he thought she was blushing, 'You really think so?'

'Of course. That's why you're my favourite.'

Oh, now he was positive _he_ was the one blushing. She really said _that_. He felt the knot in his stomach tightening as he watched her like this. Sometimes he felt so strange around her, nervous and intense, but…he was starting to actually like the feeling.

'You're my favourite too,' he confessed and she giggled in that way which made the knot flip inside his stomach. It was a decision without further thinking as he rolled toward her and pressed an upside down kiss to her forehead.

'Oh,' she let out a bit startled, but he couldn't meet her eyes and rolled on his back again.

He wondered if he should have apologized but felt her fingers touch the side of his face and smiled a bit. He still felt embarrassed not sure what came over him, but also glad he did it. It felt nice. Everything with her felt...nice.

* * *

'Wake up,' was the first thing Five heard as he opened his eyes seeing Vanya looking at him with the dim blue sky behind her.

His eyes widened as he realized what just happened. They overslept on the grass outside of the house.

'Crap,' he mumbled under his breath. He felt cold and soak from sleeping like this. Well, shit.

They needed to pack the blanket and get back into the house. This time they used the window on the bottom floor and then up the stairs. They had to be quick to get ready as the alarm got on and presentable during breakfast even when Vanya's hair was a mess. They easily dodged Klaus's comment about Vanya's hair and went on with their day. He couldn't help, but remain the good mood until the rest of it even if he slept in soak clothes. It was worth it and from the way Vanya sighed and crawled closer to him during the night the smile never leaving her face even after she fell asleep, it was worth it to her as well.

* * *

**Now**

' _Five?'_

' _Yes, Vanya?'_

' _If you must leave-'_

' _-I told you I won't ever-'_

' _-don't ever leave without a goodbye.'_

_Why didn't you safe me, Five?_

Five sat up gasping for air as he broke free from the tortures dream which showed him everything from their confessions to Vanya's accusation.

'Vanya,' he said looking all over the place, his eyes adjusting to the room he was in. He needed to see her. It was just a dream, right? She was here...right? She had to be...He needed her...

_Vanya..._

'Five-Five, it's me. I'm here,' said a voice. It sounded like her but different, younger. Why did it sound so young? For a moment, he couldn't remember until he suddenly saw her in front of him as if she appeared out of air.

He blinked at her for a couple of moments before he put his hands covered in dried blood on her cheeks. She was warm which meant she wasn't dead, 'You're here. You're alive.'

'Of course,' she said so lightly, so casually. She was too young. She didn't re-live through all those things. She didn't understand them...she didn't understand him and his struggles and sorrows.

He let his hands fall from her face to and looked around trying to calculate the situation at hand, 'What happened? I fainted?'

She nodded, 'Yeah.'

He looked at his shirt which was unbuttoned before he pushed it open to look at his wound.

'You stitched me up again?' he asked surprised and confused which made Vanya want to laugh apparently. Still, she was thirteen, a child, and she stitched him up and did a quite decent job at it too from the looks of it.

'Yeah, I saw mom do it like a million of times after your missions so I just...I don't know. It was like a reflex. You said people in traumatic situations either shut down or the adrenaline kicks in and they find a way to solve the problem. I guess I did the second one.'

He didn't remember telling her that, but it was years since he last saw thirteen year old Vanya, so it was possible.

She giggled, 'Not bad for a first timer.'

She let out that sound again. That sound of joy, a giggle which always made his stomach tight in a knot and flipping. It was a magical sound, he used to be so nervous by it, not knowing why was he feeling the way he was when he heard it, but now he knew. Now he knew.

He loved her.

Gosh, he loved her so much...

He loved her since he was a kid, and then he loved her in that hellish places, and then he loved her when commission stripped him off the last bits of his humanity he had left, and then he loved her when he came back and he was in the wrong body, and he loved her when she died in his arms and now he loved her when she was _too young_. He just...love her so much...he wasn't good with emotions. He full on sucked at them. He didn't let people know what he was feeling, in the apocalypse it was just him and with Dolores there was only so much he dared himself to feel and tell her, with the commission feelings were a burden. The only person he ever dared to see inside him, see him, see all of him, was Vanya...and he loved her completely and stupidly and he let her die.

His hand was on her cheek suddenly and she blushed under his intense look.

'Uh, F-five?' her voice sounded different, almost the same as when she was older.

'I love you,' he said and her eyes widened as the shock fell upon her.

'Wh-'

'I love you, more than I love myself, and I know that you don't understand it yet. You're _so_ _young_ now, but I love you,' he said knowing he was probably scarying and confusing her and maybe ruining any chance they might have in the future, but he _needed_ all so desperate to say it to her at least once. At least once while she was here with him and could hear him... 'I always loved you and I always will,' he said with confidence. Even if he fucked everything up, even if he was wrong about every single decision in his life, this is what he knew. He knew it with all his heart, body and mind. If people had souls he could feel it even there. He knew it in his past, present and future self. He had completely and without a doubt or a chance out of it, fallen in love with her. Everything she did, everything she said, everything she was. She was the first thought in the morning, and the last thought in the night before he went to sleep, and almost every thought or dream in between. She was a constant figure in his mind.

Vanya blinked looking so lost and confused by his confession it was enough to break that stupidly hurt heart of his all over again. How? How was it fair that he got to love someone so much it filled him so profoundly with love and then have it ripped from his fingers and throw back mocking him into his face like this? Was he truly such a terrible monster that he deserved this? What about Vanya? What could the sweetest and most caring creature on this fuckedup planet do that she deserved to be linked to his drama to his karma or whatever the hell this purgatory was?

'I...I love you _too_ ,' she said slowly sounding a bit unsure.

'You don't understand what that means yet,' he said knowing he caught her off guard and causing her to frown a bit annoyed. He could always read her so easily right now. She didn't understand what she was saying. He knew she loved him as well. Just like him, she was a victim of this from the start, but she didn't understand it yet. For now it was a childish crush at best, nothing compare to the intense and maddening feeling of belonging, possessiveness and hurt he felt for her every second he was breathing.

He looked away before he took a deep breath and let his hands fall from her face. Before she could say anything to him he continued, 'Listen to me very carefully alright?' he asked. He didn't have time for confessions and dwelling on his complicated situation. He had a new mission now, a goal, to save her and protect her, and he needed to put the time he had left in good use.

'There is something which is going on. Something bad and you have to trust me, do you trust me?' he asked carefully.

'Always,' she said in a heartbeat and it was like someone stabbed him again.

She took his hand again, 'Five?'

He shook his head fighting away the pain and losing.

'That's not important right now. The only thing which is important is that you do as I tell you. First do not take two pills. Don't tell dad, take one and the second hide, alright?'

She blinked.

'Alright?' he asked his voice very demanding and a bit scary. He knew, but he needed her to do as he said.

Vanya nodded, 'Alright.'

'Good,' he nodded too squeezing her hand reassuringly, 'Second, under any circumstances what so ever do you speak or get close to anyone named Leonard...,' suddenly he stopped talking blinking several times...

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

Panic rose inside. He couldn't remember his name. How was that possible? The son of a bitch kidnapped Vanya and wanted to use her against them. He fucking _took_ her and he...he knew his name, but now it was like it wasn't even there, the memory completely lost to him.

'What? Five, what is it? Who shouldn't I talk to?' her voice brought him back from the tranze.

'I...I can't remember his name,' said Five slowly after a moment. He let go of her hand before his eyes widened and realization hit him.

Could he be any more of a complete failure?

'I'm an idiot. Jesus fuck, I'm such an idiot!' he snapped causing Vanya to flinch.

He looked over the room, 'I need something to write to a notebook, a piece of paper anything.'

He was a moron. He was an idiot. How? How could he have missed it? How could he have not think this into his plans? Simple, because he was a moron apparently there was only one brain cell in the family, and he was not using it right now.

When Vanya handed him the pen and paper he immediately started to write down his formulas. He already had a bad feeling about it, but he needed to be sure before he would fully take in the situation, 'F-five?'

'Can't talk, I need to figure this out first,' he said not looking at her.

He didn't know how much time has passed as he was writing down his thoughts before they would slip away as well, 'I will go try to get us some food alright?'

'No!' he suddenly snapped looking up at her, the mere thought of her leaving causing his heart to break ever more. He couldn't leave her out of his sight. Not now at least. Not now when he felt like he would choke if she wasn't in the room with him, with her pink cheeks and raising and falling chest and beating heart.

'You can't leave me. Don't leave me...please.'

Vanya opened her mouth to say something. Maybe argue, but something stopped her. He knew he was a mess. He knew that. But he couldn't help it. He needed her close now more than ever.

She sat back down on the bed this time next to him, and put her head against his shoulder and he felt his whole body relaxing. She was near him and breathing. That was good, very good. He started to write again focusing on his task.

'I'm such an idiot, I will never fail to amaze myself,' he said after what felt like hours looking at the paper.

Vanya rose her head from his shoulder, 'Why?'

'Because I didn't _just_ time travel, I completely changed the timeline which already happened which is causing me to forget the previous timeline. I thought that I time travelled in my old body so I wouldn't be affected by it, but this isn't my old body, it's my _thirteen_ year old body which I got when I time travelled to 2019. The reason I didn't lose my memories then was because I wasn't at 2019 before not the first time at least.'

'You lost me completely,' said Vanya shaking her head.

He turned fully toward her.

'Careful,' she said minding his stitches.

'Vanya, I need a notebook. I need to write things down before I forget the timeline which already happened, but didn't happen yet,' he said concerned.

'What will happen if you forget?' she asked slowly.

'I...I don't know. Best case scenario is I will simply go back to the mentality of my thirteen year old else before I first time travelled to the future.'

'And worst?' she asked looking paler now, her eyes filled with worry all over again.

'I will forget everything...everything at all,' he said and Vanya swallowed hard.

He waited for her to process the new information knowing it was _so_ much to handle for a thirteen year old.

'H-How old are you?' she asked, 'You said this is your thirteen year old body, but not your old one?'

He hesitated before he said, 'Fifty-eight.'

Vanya watched him for a moment before she crooked one eyebrow at him, 'Ah, so do I get to call you grandpa now?'

The shock on his face lasted for good two seconds before he chuckled and covered his face. This was...this was insane. She just... she just accepted it. Just like that. He just accepted him with her heart open and her smile warmed like it was the easiest thing in the world...

He sobbed.

'I'm sorry, it was a joke-,' she started to apologize.

He pulled his hands from his face and shook his head a small tear rolling down his cheek, 'It's nothing, I'm sorry. I...I need a notebook. I need to write everything down before it will be erased from my memory.'

Vanya nodded, 'Alright.'

He grabbed her hand again, 'I-I know this is all too much, and too fast, but...I really need you to trust me...I can't...I can't do this without you.'

She was looking into his eyes for the longest of times, before she said with confidence which surprised him, 'I trust you, Five.'

_You trust me?_

_Always..._

He pulled her into a crushing hug, feeling relief wash over him because no matter which version of Vanya she was she trusted him without a doubt and he loved her even more for it.

The door despite being locked was suddenly broke open causing Vanya to jump from the bed and Five to kneel up to see who was the intruder.

Luther walked inside the room with his mask on before he looked to the corridor, 'Found them.'

_Fucking family_

* * *

To say that he went home kicking and screaming was an understatement of the century. He practically went for all violent acts except biting. There had to be a line of course. Monocle dragged him with the help of his siblings into the medical room. It became worse when he couldn't see Vanya anymore. He knew he must have gone mad because he knew he was in the past so she had to be there, but not seeing her caused a reaction he couldn't control. He was screaming like a maniac for her with Pogo trying to hold him down.

He didn't hear him. He didn't hear father or Grace. He didn't hear as if he was deaf again which only brought the worse memories out.

'VANYA! No! I WANT TO SEE HER! Pleeeease let me see her! I need to see her!' He was repeating over and over again while crying like a little child.

Once she finally entered the room it was like a switch went off inside him.

He reached his hand for her, 'Vanya...Vanya Vanya please, don't...don't leave me again...,' he kept on repeating his voice softer this time, no more screaming as his eyes kept on hers.

He needed her close. He needed her by his side. He needed her. He needed her. He needed her. He needed her. He needed her. He needed her. He needed her.

_I love you..._

His mind was playing tricks on him. He didn't know what was happening until he felt her by his side. He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep next to her to know she was there alive and with him.

'I'm here, Five. I'm always here,' she told him quietly.

_I'm always waiting..._

_I will always come back..._

The last thing he saw before the sleep took over was her face as it should be. As he always saw her face when they were apart or together. She was his first and last thought, always.

* * *

_I love you more than I love myself..._

And a gunfire ruptured through the silence...shattering his mind and soul.

Five woke up with those two things sunk into his concessions, the confession he didn't hear properly and the sound of the gunshot.

He looked down at his hands, his hands which weren't strong enough to protect her. He pushed his fingers against his palms as hard as he could wishing that if he hurt his hands enough it would be enough punishment to get rid of this pain he felt inside...

_I love you..._

_She's gone, Five..._

He pierced his eyes against his fists now determinate to make them hurt. Anything but the pain inside even though if he was completely honest he wanted that pain as well. He wanted to remember it, feel it, know that this was his own doing because he was an idiot and pathetic loser who couldn't safe the one person he loved.

Suddenly seemingly out of nowhere a pair of small hands reached out and dug their fingers under his, his fists slowly opening them.

He watched the hands. They were just as small as his own maybe even small, soft but demanding that he stop hurting himself.

Five's heart speeded up as he looked up only to find Vanya looking down at him.

Thirteen year old, alive and well Vanya. Vanya, who he left in the house as he rushed toward the unknown adventure of time travelling without her. Vanya who still had so much hope and life and possibilities behind her doe brown eyes. Vanya, who still could be anything she wanted if she chose it to be. Vanya, who he could still save.

He felt her fingers softly stroke the skin on his hands as her soft eyes were looking at him with such care and fondness.

He was such a blind child. How could he not see how much she cared for him? How could _this_ right here and now could not have been enough to make him stay? But that was the whole problem, wasn't it? He was a child, a selfish and foolish child, who knew nothing and wanted to know it all. He didn't understand what it meant to care for so much and that without that person nothing would make sense again. He didn't understand the pain and devastation of losing someone he cared for, loved.

'You're here,' he said terrified of breaking the peacefulness of the moment, but needed to hear her voice.

She nodded, a small smile tugged on her lips, 'Yeah.'

He looked around. The outside light was so dim in the medical room.

'Is it evening or-'

'Morning, I think before four. Sun is going to start rising soon,' she explained. God, he hadn't heard her tiny child voice in decades. It made his heart crack even more than it did before.

'Dad let you stay?' he asked not sure if what he remembered from yesterday could be trusted. He came back and needed to get her away from the house, from Monocle, from _everything_. He needed to be alone with her for a moment, so he teleported/kidnapped her away and then he was pretty sure he must have been in delirium because he thought she stitched him up then said she _loved_ him and then Luther and the others found them.

Vanya nodded, 'Yes, he said that if it would stop us from throwing such melodramatic and childish tantrums we could stay for undecided amount of time.'

Five chuckled breathlessly, 'I guess we were _that_ bad, ha?'

'It was pretty bad. I was a bit scared myself from all the screaming,' she admitted her hands still holding his, 'My own...not just yours.'

He nodded slowly before she sighed, 'Alright, we have some things to cover.'

Five blinked not letting her go as she tried to pull away. He felt like he couldn't let her go even if she would still be in the room. He just couldn't...

'Hey, hey, it's okay. But I promised you to find you a notebook to write everything down, remember?' she asked her voice soft and reasonable.

He nodded. He knew this, but he just...

He felt like he couldn't let her go. Just for a few moments he rose her hands over his to weight them out. To memorize the feeling of her tiny hands inside his even if just for a moment.

Once he looked back up at her, he nodded, 'If it's inside the house it doesn't count.'

Vanya blinked, and it was like someone stabbed him. She didn't understood their little inside joke, because it wasn't hers, it was thirty year old Vanya who he left dead somewhere in the future timeline which was slowly erasing itself from his mind.

He let her go feeling devastated, 'I'll be here.'

She got out from the bed before she stopped in the doorway, 'What does it mean? That inside the house it doesn't counts?'

He looked at her. Could he tell her? Could he put all of that on her little thirteen year old shoulders? He already told her too much by trying to explain the timelines situation as well as telling her he loved her. Gosh, could he be any more of an imbecil? She was a kid and he was an old perv who was freaking her the hell out probably.

'It means that we can leave each other without a goodbye if it's inside the house or under five minutes. It doesn't count as _leaving_ ,' he explained knowing it would mean nothing to her because she didn't experience his absence and abandonment the way thirty year old Vanya did and he hoped she never would.

'Good, I like that, because the last time you left the house you left without one too,' she said but it was mostly teasing than hurt. She gave him a short smile before she was gone from the view leaving him with his conflicted feelings and thoughts.

She handed him the notebook and pen once she came back. He immediately grabbed her hands noticing the dried blood under her fingernails. It felt wrong. It wasn't right. Vanya was alive and unharmed here and she shouldn't have blood on herself. He reached for the needle on the tool desk next to them and before Vanya could ask he reached with it under her nails carefully cleaning the blood out.

She let him do so without a single word, but watching as he methodically cleaned the blood out. He never wanted Vanya to have blood on her hands or anywhere else again or he might lose it.

He let her hand go and threw the needle to the nearby trash. They shared a quick look, her eyes were so warm and so young. It felt him with pain but also with hope. He could do this...He could save her...

He reached for the notebook and pen and this time he started to write. All of it, all which was still inside his mind slowly fading away. How much did he already forgotten? What if he forgot something important like how the Handler could manipulate him? Or how Vanya's powers were linked to her emotions? Or something as important as that? What if he already forgot all of it?

He tried to write down as much as he could knowing he was from time to time jumping from one event to another and knowing it would in retrospective be a bit hard to follow.

The first time he stopped writing was when he reached the whole Commission is the most fucked up agency on the planet and the Handler is the least trustful person on earth. It was then that he realized he never got to ask Vanya what did the bitch say to her to cause her to lose so much hope and to…to actually…

He looked up startled realizing that he didn't know how much time had passed but that he was now alone in the medical room. There was a plate with food left near him, but he ignored it and got out of the bed feeling his body literally crying from every move. He felt so sore and hurt like he was run over by a truck at least five times.

Groaning he came out of the room only to be greeted by Ben, 'Hi, are you alright? How do you feel?'

He was momentarily frozen in place. Ben…the only one of his brothers who wasn't in the future. Ben who he still have a chance to save just like the rest of them, just like Vanya.

He couldn't form a single word so he just nodded.

Ben looked at him so confused and concerned before he said, 'Uh, Vanya has practice now, but I can go get her, if you want?'

Five closed his eyes feeling the pain was over him in a new more brutal way, 'Please.'

'I'll be right back,' said Ben and ran to the direction of the stairs while Five was left with his hand pressed against the nearest wall for support. He felt like crying.

Ben...

He had to make sure Ben would survive this time. He had to try his hardest at that his brother would survive and live in the future with them.

His legs gave up on him and he collapsed to the ground. He couldn't breathe. He could taste the ash inside his lungs and it burn making it impossible to get the oxygen inside.

He felt something warm touch his face and hand and his eyes flew open seeing thirteen year old Vanya looking at him, 'Hey, are you alright? Five? Talk to me?'

She was alive...good...she was alive...and she was there with him and not dead lying on ground with a bullet wound in her head.

Good...

He closed his eyes trying to catch his breath or learn how to breath again at this point feeling her fingers slowly stroked his cheek. The touch was the same, the feeling it brought into his stomach was the same, thirteen year old or thirty she was still _Vanya_.

He opened his eyes. He was still so tired. He wanted nothing more than to lay in bed and sleep until the pain inside him finally passed, but he knew he couldn't.

He started to get up with Vanya's help and back to the medical room. Grace came afterwards asking if he was alright, checking his vitals and stitches before she turned to Vanya and offered her a smile, 'You did very well, my dear. Maybe you could be a doctor one day.'

'No,' he said feeling like the exhaustion will take a hold on him again, but he pushed it away.

'She's going to be a first chair in the Icarus.'

He could see the surprise look on Vanya's face before she smiled at him a bit making sure Grace who was recording their every move wouldn't see it even if now it was completely pointless since it was clear their father knew the full extent of their relationship.

When Grace put her hand on his shoulder, he looked up at her confused. He was never particularly close to their mother. Over the seemingly endless line of their nannies, she just felt like another to fill the blank spot as the female parent. He supposed he liked her fair enough until he saw what happened to the drawings they made for Vanya, even if that must have been mostly their father's doing. Yet, years before he went to the future and when he came back, she didn't hold as important meaning to him as the rest of his siblings or Vanya did.

'Try to rest a bit more, alright dear?' she asked her hand actually warm on his skin making it feel almost motherly.

'Thank you,' he said avoiding a name as he wasn't sure he would call her Grace or _mom_ in that moment.

She stroke Vanya's head before she walked out.

Five motioned for Vanya to come close, 'I already have something written down but I need to continue. There are a lot of things I need to write down before I forget. I already feel like I'm losing it all.'

Vanya nodded slowly as she sat down next to him, 'Do...do you think you will forget everything? Even things which are happening right now?'

Five frowned a bit, he didn't want to worry her more than he already have, but he was alone on this and just like always he felt like she was the most trusted person to confess and vent to, 'I don't know. I can't remember the motel room properly, but that might be the blood loss and sleep deprivation so I don't know.'

Vanya nodded before she looked at the notebook, 'Will you let me read it?'

He hesitated. He wished he had more time to think it through, but as he saw Grace and Ben realize he couldn't remember how the rest of his siblings looked when they were thirty. He could picture their figures, and heights and hair, but the faces were all blurry and not really there like it was all a dream. He was positive at that point that if he wasn't stitched, he himself would have assumed it was a nightmare as well.

'One day, when you're a bit older,' he said and saw the frown which appeared on her face, 'But-'

'I'm sorry, but you're too young for some things, and I don't want you to be controlled by things which didn't happen yet and might not happen at all,' he tried to explain as best as he could without sounding arrogant or like a jerk.

'You trust me, right?' he asked and she nodded but there was also a bit of defiance in her eyes, 'Of course, but it feels upsetting that you hold the key to my future and can look at it, while I can't.'

'I'm not doing it to hurt you, Vanya, and for me it isn't the future it's just the past which will never happen again. I just need it so I don't make the same mistakes I already did. I just need it to...,' he stopped talking cutting off the rest of his words... _to save you._

Vanya's face softened a bit as she looked lost in thoughts for a moment, 'Five, when you appeared, you sounded so...strange. Like you were sad.'

Her voice sounded so small yet firm, 'You said a bunch of things and it feels like...like...did I... _die_ in the future?'

He looked away feeling he was losing his breath again. He started to shake his head feeling the tears trying to find their way out of his eyes.

_No, no, no, no!_

_I don't want to hurt anyone. They're going to make me do it, aren't they? They're going to make me cause the apocalypse over and over again until I just do. Five, I can't hurt you. Five, I-I-I...I love you...I love you more than...I love you more than I love myself, do you understand?_

He felt like throwing up, his brain wouldn't stop showing him the image of her bleeding out on the ground.

'Hey, hey, come on, Five, breath please,' he heard her soft voice trying to get it into his head that she was alive. That _that_ did _not_ happen, and he would forbidden it from every happening again. He felt her take his hands again looking so worried about him. Always worrying about him. Always leaving peanut butter sandwiches with marshmallows and lights on for him, always making sure he slept well, always making him breakfast and coffee, always telling him he wasn't a bad person for killing for the commission, always accepting him having to leave her, always telling him she loved him and felt the same way for him and kissing him making him the happiest person under the sun only to put a bullet into her head because she wanted to fucking save the world and his ass, something which was supposed to be his job, not her responsibility. Just always so fucking...brilliant and amazing and _Vanya._

He grabbed her by the shoulder and pressed himself against her chest like a little boy. She didn't even tense this time, just put her hands into his hair softly stroking him accepting it, him and keeping his close.

_I love you..._

He remained like that for a while knowing it wouldn't last. It couldn't last he as he needed to keep going.

'April the 1st 2019,' he mumbled after he calmed down a bit.

'That's when the apocalypse happens. That's when you... _yeah_ ,' he said and looked up her. He couldn't force himself to say the word _die_ out loud to her, but he needed her to know. _This_ he needed her to know, 'And I'm going to stop it, and save you.'

Her eyes were on his. He was expecting fear or shock, but she was only looking at him with love and devotion like always.

'I believe you,' she whispered and if it was even possible he fell in love with her a little bit more in that moment.

He looked back the notebook before she nodded and stepped away. He returned to his writing realizing he already forgot who the Handler was

He needed to hurry and write everything down.

* * *

_I love you..._

Five woke up to someone moving his pillow. He groaned a bit.

'Oh, no, please, God, no. Where is it?' he heard a soft whisper next to his head.

Five opened his eyes feeling a headache coming over him, 'Good morning.'

His whole body hurt especially his side. It took him a couple of moments before he remembered that he was stitched twice. Oh, so strange. He rarely got hurt on missions, at least this seriously and now he was stitched like on an autopsy.

'Five, it's gone,' said Vanya worried her eyes all panicked as she stopped moving around for a moment.

He sat up felling the pain spreading through his body. Gosh, that hurt...why did it hurt so much? Oh right the stitches...

'What is?' he asked trying to put together his thoughts. Why did he have stitches again? His head hurt a lot.

Vanya opened her mouth before she closed it shocked. She looked very pale.

'You...you don't remember?'

'Remember what?' he asked massaging his temples to ease the headache, 'What happened the other day?!'

He looked over at her confused before he started to think, 'I confronted father about time travelling he said no...but I ran anyway,' he said remembering.

'And then?' she demanded her voice an octave higher than usual.

He thought about it. He came back, they were in the motel talking, then they were here talking. Everything felt blurry like in a dream or under a fog. Strange...

'We were in the motel and then here. I...I don't know. I remember that we were there, but I feel like I don't remember why.'

Vanya sat down on the other bed with a loud noise, 'You already forgot.'

'Forgot what?'

'Five, you went to the future and but when you came back you weren't yourself. You were an old man inside of your _this_ body. You said you were fifty-eight,' she said and he raised his eyebrows ready to call bluff on her before he did remember that he said it and she joked he was an old man. It was strange. It didn't feel like his own thoughts, more like he was watching a TV show with actors playing the part or reading a book with an unreliable narrator telling the story. You heard the words, but didn't know what the characters were thinking.

'Oh...,' he said trying to piece together what else he could find in his mind.

'It's terrible and someone took it,' said Vanya standing up again and pulling the pillow from under his head causing him almost to fall down, 'hey, watch it.'

He frowned, 'What is gone?'

'The notebook. You wrote there all day yesterday so you would know what happened in the future. You needed to write it all down because you knew you would forget,' she said. Alright, he did not remember that part.

'Oh,' he said his headache worsening.

'Here,' said Vanya and leaned into her sock to pull out a folded paper, 'I hid it when Luther and father came to the motel.'

She handed the letter to him, 'You wrote it after you realized you forgot someone's name.'

He opened it recognizing his handwriting. He definitely wrote his formulas which meant she was telling the truth. He did time travelled to 2019 and then to the past 1993 and twice to 2002 inside a body which only aged back to his thirteen self when he first time travelled.

'All the memory was erased. Everything between my first and last jump,' he said before he looked up at her worried now as well. He lost decades of memories. This didn't feel right. He apparently had a reason to write it all down.

'It's worse,' she told him, 'You wrote it all down because you said in 2019 there will be an apocalypse and we had to be prepared to stop it.'

Five frowned, 'You think father took the journal? Or one of our siblings?'

'I don't know, but I woke up and it wasn't here.'

'Did I tell you anything?' he asked feeling scared now, 'At least the date?'

'April the 1st 2019,' she said and he looked back down at the paper cursing under his breath before he smirked showing more confident than he felt, 'It doesn't matter.'

'It doesn't?'

'No,' he shook his head, 'We have _years_ to figure it out and stop it. We will search the house and find the notebook and then figure out how to prevent it.'

Vanya watched him standing close to him. She took his and into hers, 'I trust you.' It felt like she said that a lot over the last few days.

'Good, because if I told you I will definitely need your help to do it,' he told her and watched her face soften a bit, the wrinkle of worry smoothing itself.

When her hand touched his face he was momentarily caught off guard as it was weeks since they were allowed to be like this together and alone after being caught sharing a bed. She was so numbed by the pills it was impossible to communicate with her even if he was too afraid father would sent her away.

'You looked so different with all those memories,' she told him her eyes sad now, 'You looked hurt...very hurt, Five.'

Five blinked. He couldn't remember that. Any of that. What could possibly happen to him in the future? He got wounded so it must have not been the nicest thing.

'Promise me you won't time travel again,' she said suddenly catching him off guard, 'Whatever happened. It wasn't fun, Five. It was devastating for you. I could see it...it was like the light went out behind your eyes.'

He watched her silently not sure what to say. He couldn't remember what he felt to appear that way, but she was looking at him like this and touching him so softly, it had to be really serious. He must have seriously scared her.

He found himself nodding, not sure if he would keep the promise but in that moment feeling like would and should, 'I promise not to time travel again for now.'

Vanya didn't look happy about it, but then she leaned down and kissed his cheek the spot on fire after she pulled away with determination inside her eyes which he remembered were so numb, 'Good. Don't break it.'

_I won't._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Hey there, this was long as hell. It was not supposed to be so long. I re-edit this chapter like four times before I got this. I had to put like five more pages into the next chapter because it got incredibly long and I don't even know how? How I ask you? :D Anyway, thank you for the feedback and support you have been great :) so far and make it a pleasure to continue this story. I hope you will like this chapter as well and tell me something about what you think.
> 
> Enjoy


	13. Chapter 13

**Seven days ago**

Vanya never thought she was a very skillful or subtle person. She certainly wasn't one of her siblings who were taught since the age of eight how to get into a building or room without a single suspicion. When she saw Pogo that day, she was close to spilling her gut, but she pushed it down her throat like the morning pill for her anxiety and looked away reminding herself that it was important, and she couldn't make a mistake. She had to do her bed and try her hardest, and Five said there was nothing she couldn't achieve, which was a very bold and false thing to say considering she tried her hardest to climb a rope once and still couldn't do it. Not that she ever told him or any of her siblings about _that_ embarrassing experience.

She would be much happier if Five was the one doing this, but with father, Grace or Pogo watching him 24/7 now it was impossible for him to get out of their sight for now. He was still on bed rest.

Father said he would return to his room and his normal schedule in a couple of days, but they didn't have time to spare. They had to find the notebook asap.

Vanya felt her heart beating like a drum as she snuck into Pogo's room while he was attending Five. They had it planned so that while the rest of their siblings would be at their routine practice in the gym with father and Grace would be preparing lunch. Five would call for Pogo with some excuse so she would have free access to his room. Although it sounded simple enough the moment she was actually inside Vanya felt doubts creep in. She really wasn't cut out for detective work. Who was she kidding? She couldn't do _this._

She was ready to run out only to remember Five's eyes widen in pure fear whenever she wasn't around and the shot which kept on echoing in her mind even if she knew it was just a dream came to her mind, and she stopped in track.

Every now and then her fingers started to brush her hair more often as if they were still trying to find the entry wound, and she caught herself looking at her mirror reflex more often than not. What or who exactly she was looking for in it, she wasn't sure…

Slowly making sure to leave the door slightly ajar so she would hear if someone was coming, she started to look around. Despite the fact that her father didn't often allow her to be at practice, even as audience or help with the test, she knew basic information about what to do when looking for evidence. That along with Five's pointers proved to be quite enough as she snooped around Pogo's little room checking every shelve, drawer, corner, under the mattress or the secret box of Cuban cigars he had in the hole in the wall, but all in all no notebook.

Vanya sighed before she noticed a small piece of paper attached to the back of Pogo's nightstand. She easily pulled it out with her skinny and long fingers being just enough to reach the tiny crack between the wooden nightstand and the wall.

She couldn't help a small smile as she found a photo. Of all of them. She wasn't sure where did Pogo get it, but it was all of them about four or five years old lined up with a woman Vanya assumed was one of the nannies looking into the camera. They used to be so small and cute.

Vanya suddenly felt bad for suspecting Pogo, but as Five said no one could be trusted. She put the photo back on its original place before she sneaked out of the room making sure it looked like she was walking from a different direction like Five told her to.

On her way back to her room, she couldn't help, but envy a bit Pogo that he had such a memory of all of them. It was lately with Five losing his own memory that she started to realize how little did she remember about the time they were young or other moments mostly caused by the stupid pills.

She put her hand into the pocket of her blazer, the bottle felt sharp in her palm like it could cut her, hurt her. Somehow Vanya was starting to believe it.

She had to go on with her day before Five finally teleported into her room making sure he was in the corner behind the door where he said the camera in her room couldn't see him. She was honestly a bit surprised that she even had a camera in her room since she never thought she was important enough like the rest of them. Pogo didn't have one, but father put one in her room? Strange. Maybe it was just to make sure others wouldn't spend too much time with her. Even so he must have missed all those nights they snuck into each other's room then. Maybe he just didn't suspect anything.

Vanya offered him a small smile before she sat behind her desk her back to him so their father wouldn't see her talking. Five claimed the audio wasn't very good and unless someone was speaking really loud they wouldn't be heard.

'I guess you didn't find it then,' he said sounding a bit grumpy.

'No, I checked everywhere, but it wasn't there,' she assured him and tapped her fingers against the desk.

Five sighed, 'It's not like I didn't expect it. Even if Pogo did take it, he would only give it to father.'

'So we should go to his office then?' she asked worried. She much rather found the stupid notebook anywhere, but at their father's office.

'Yes, but not now. I have to still stay a bit in the medical room before they will let me back to my room and practices, then I will go snoop around. It was already too risky let you look in Pogo's,' he said sounding upset.

Vanya felt the need to roll her eyes at him, 'You're just grumpy because you're still on bed rest.'

'Of course, I'm grumpy because of that. I hate bed rest. I much rather do _anything_ literally _anything_ than lay in bed all day. It's so not productive at all,' he whined, and she let out a small giggle escape her lips before she covered her mouth.

' _Sorry.'_

Five didn't say anything, and she stood up making it look like she was walking to her dresser so she could look at him.

He was looking at her with his face a bit unreadable again, but his cheeks red. It made her mind go back into what he said in the motel.

' _I love you, more than I love myself, and I know that you don't understand it yet. You're so young now, but I love you...'_

She recalled his words and how she said it back even though they still felt a bit weird. Like how could something, a word, express the feeling of wanting to be close to someone and take care of them and for that someone to take care of you, or want to make that person happy because it makes you happy as well? She supposed by all the definition that was _love_ , but she still felt like it didn't quite sit right on her tongue. Maybe because this was how she thought of it as wanting to be with Five, and for him to be happy and for them to always be close and have a good relationships. She didn't mind if they would sneak out or just stay together in the bedroom on the bed, or if they were talk together in the library about his theories or if he would listen to her play. She just wanted him to be around and she would be with him. This is how she understood why she loved him, but when Five...the Five who came from the future, the Five who was 58 years old inside his 13 year old body, said it, it sounded different. It wasn't like wanting to be with her, it was...so _intense_ it scared her a bit and caught her off guard. The way he spoke with her, and tried to touch her all the time, hold her close and not let her out of his side like he was afraid she would disappear when he was the one who runaway, was just...so much more than her simple _I love you too_. It was almost cosmic, out of this world and infinity. She didn't understand such intensity or urgency yet, she was a child. She knew she would miss him terribly if he truly left, and she was still worried about his wellbeing and she wanted him to be safe and not hurting, but the other Five his _I love you_ was just so heavy and yet light and said with such undeniable confidence like it was the most simplest thing in the world for him.

She felt a bit ashamed about it actually, that 58 year old Five poured his heart and soul into his confession and all she could muster was her blushing and childish responds. Ashamed that while his confession was like something infinity, heavy as the weight of the whole world, hers was barely a speck in the dust in comparison. It was a bit scary if she compared it and realized that one day in the future someone, Five, loved her so profoundly and completely like that with intensity which made her air touchable. It was scary to know someone loved you like that when you were just a thirteen year old child. She wondered if she was able to love him the same, so completely, with such weight, and everything in between when she was older. Right now she couldn't imagine it already feeling like her Five was taking enough space in her mind, heart and life how could he take any more?

Still, it was said and what was said once was done, so now Vanya had to live with the fact that in the future, maybe the future where they will stop the apocalypse, Five was in love with her in a way which made it hard to breath and yet like all was right in the world, while this number Five wasn't even able to say if he liked her or remember that she said in her own way _I love you_ back.

That was why she didn't bring up what he said in the motel. He seemed to have had trouble remembering the exact words he used or what they talked about saying it was all a bit foggy and he needed her to catch him up to speed before he either said he remembered or hummed for her to continue because he was embarrassed to admit he didn't. It might have been that she purposely avoided the _I love you_ since she still didn't know what it meant, and that this Five, or this version of Five did not say it, it was the other one who was now erased. It didn't feel right for her to put that pressure on him, even if she started to have ideas about the whole thing. Ideas she usually kept to herself until late at night when she was now all alone in her room in bed thinking it all over. Ideas about why they always wanted to be close, why their skin burn or went red when they touched each other, why they blushed more around each other, why they sometimes looked at each other a bit longer than the rest of them, or why did they sometimes felt this strange nervousness inside them stomachs whenever one of them smiled at each other. She knew she wasn't the only one who felt all those things. She could see how he sometimes touched her and kept his gaze on his hands on her skin or the fabric of her clothing like his brain was running over something which was making him incredibly confused. She knew he cared for her and maybe even loved her like she loved him, but he didn't come to those terms and discoveries yet, and she didn't want to pressure him with since she honestly didn't know what to do with it herself yet. She liked the way things were. They were still together, keeping each other close, sharing ideas and take care of one another. The touches were still a bit embarrassing as well as lingering looks or blushes, so why would she want to run it now with more awkwardness?

She simply decided to give him time to come to it on his own way. It would be smartest and natural way of things anyway.

'Are you alright? Maybe you should go lay down a bit,' said Vanya, and just like that his expression turned into a frustrated one, 'Not you too. I _hate_ -'

'Alright,' she cut him off and started to sort out the clothes in her dresser, 'So what now?'

He sighed, 'If the others are in training and Pogo and Grace are not around, you may go check the others room, but only once I figure out how to turn off dad's cameras without him noticing. I will probably put them on loop or something so he would notice you're inside. If he has it we can't let him knowing we're looking for it, even if he most likely suspects it.'

Vanya watched him in silence before she nodded slowly and closed her drawer again so it wouldn't seem she was taking too long. She needed to start her violin practice, so it wouldn't be suspicious if father watched the recording of her.

She positioned herself when she noticed Five was still there looking at her. She blinked as if waiting for him to say something, but he just kept looking at her.

She started to play and he slide a bit down to sit in the corner. She smiled at him softly playing him his favourite Vivaldi.

* * *

**Two days ago**

Thirteen year old Vanya finished her violin piece with a sigh. She was usually thrilled that she could play often making her practice last longer even if it annoyed the hell out of some of her siblings. Today however she wished she could cut it shorter. She felt anxious to do something completely different, but based on her previous conversation with Five, she knew she couldn't spark suspicion.

Ah, if only she was more trained in this like her siblings in subtlety which was very much an important factor of their work. She felt that when Luther blinked at her confused this morning as they were waiting for their turn in to the bathroom, he had her all figured out. Like he could see right through her.

She couldn't miss the irony. She used to crave for her siblings attention, and now she wished they wouldn't even look at her because she felt all her secrets could be read off her face like an open book.

When she felt the familiar whistle of the wind, she immediately put her violin and bow into the case and run to close the door, 'Well?'

Five was sitting on her bed with his arms crossed, 'I didn't find it. I put the stupid recording on loop and check every single drawer which was unlocked.'

She sighed, 'So now we will have to get into the drawers which are locked. Sounds impossible.'

She could see the screws moving inside Five's head, 'Maybe not. He keeps a bunch of keys on the small chain in his pocket, right?'

Vanya grimaced, 'Yeah, the chain which he never leaves alone.'

'Only when he goes to bed. Remember when Ben had a nightmare and wasn't in control for a moment. He rushed from his bedroom in his pyjamas. The chain was not on him,' he told her and started to tap his finger against his knee thinking, 'I could go into his room and look for it after everyone's asleep.'

Vanya felt nervous all of the sudden, the mere thought of how dangerous it was, even more than what they were already doing made her anxious. Usually when she felt this was she was ordered to take an extra pill, but she remembered Five's first rule from before she lost his memories and forced herself to overcome the urge.

'I'm worried. You've never been to dad's room. You said teleporting to places you haven't saw before is tricky and if dad wakes up while you're there? He...there's no telling what he would do.'

Five nodded but she could already see that he made up his mind it the defiant look on his face, 'I know, but skipping dinner or extra training is little price to pay for finding that notebook.'

Vanya looked away for a moment, 'What if he sends me away?'

Five frowned at the idea, 'He won't. I told you, I won't let him.'

She closed her eyes. She wished she was so carefree and brave enough to believe Five's words, but the coldness in her father's eyes when he told her to come to office after Five was allowed to return to his room, hurt like physical pain sucking any intention of defying the man or giving him more reasons to get angry with them.

'Five, if he really decides that I should go...there won't be anything you can do to stop him,' she told him. He watched her for a moment, his jaw clenched before he teleported right in front of her startling her a bit.

He grabbed her wrist looking upset, 'Do you not trust me?'

She sighed. This was a sucker punch for her. Every time she felt like she wanted to argue or try to voice her opinion on the matter he would bring it up, like a universal leverage to get her on his side. She would be lying if she didn't say it pissed her off a bit that he was using it so carelessly to get what he wanted.

'It's not about that, and you know it-'

'I asked, do you not trust me?' he repeated, his eyes carrying fire.

Vanya watched the green-blue irises filled with so much confidence and strength they could carry the weight of the world. It would be so easy to believe there was nothing Five couldn't do, but this wasn't about him. This was about their father who made it very clear that he was watching them, and that if they ever disobeyed him like that again he would ruin them. Five thought the worst what could happen was that he would sent Vanya away to a boarding school, but since he asked her to his office, Vanya learned that there could be something worse. Far worse than leaving.

'Fine,' she said finally, 'But don't do it without a plan, _a good_ plan, Five.'

He kept on frowning at her. It didn't fail his notice that she did not say she trusted him on this. She didn't, but she decided to go with it and hope for the best, knowing that if they found the notebook it would be worth it. However, if they didn't and father would send her away? Not so much...

* * *

**Five days ago**

Vanya felt sick to her stomach with anxiety as her father requested her presence in his office. She was finishing her studies along with the rest of her siblings minus Five and everyone looked at her at one point looking either curious or worried. They all knew a punishment was coming.

She was seated down in front of father's large desk as he was looking at her without a single word for a couple of moments. She felt herself growing small under his gaze as if she would all but disappear in a bit.

'Number Seven, tell me why do you think you're here?'

She bit the inside of her mouth waiting for him to maybe continue, but he was patiently waiting for her to speak.

She figured it would be worse if she stayed quiet, 'Because I misbehaved.'

'And how did you achieve that?' he asked leaning back against his chair. Vanya felt like puking. Ever since she could remember she always wanted to attention of her father. He so often ignored her; it made her hungry for his gaze or words even if they would bring her down. However, now, sitting here in front of him, she wished for nothing more than for him to stop looking at her like that.

'You told me to...step away from number Five and I didn't.'

'What else?' he asked and she closed her eyes, 'You told me-'

'Look at me when I am talking with you, Number Seven,' he cut her off and Vanya very slowly lifted her gaze at him as if it was the hardest thing imaginable.

'What else?' he repeated, his eyes were so inhumanly cold.

'You told me to leave the room when Five was screaming and I didn't,' she said.

'Speak up, Number Seven, I didn't hear you properly.'

She swallowed a bit before she said again, 'You told me to leave the room when Five was screaming and I didn't.'

'Louder,' said her father and she felt like crying for some reason, but she pushed it away and repeated, 'You told me to leave the room when Five was screaming and I didn't.'

'LOUDER!'

'You told me to leave the room when Five was screaming and I didn't!' she shouted now hearing a glass broke somewhere behind her.

She went to turn around when her father cut her off, 'You haven't been taking your pills, have you now? Another disobedience.'

'No,' she said quickly, 'I did. I always take one in the morning and one in the evening.'

'Take one now,' told her father.

Vanya blinked, 'But it's not even-'

'Don't make this worse for yourself. Take one now, Number Seven.'

She let her hand into her pocket to take a hold of the bottle. She remembered Five's first rule before he lost his memories, but one pill a day.

Her father watched her like a hawk as she dug it out and took one, the pill burning the throat as it slide inside.

'Open your mouth, show me your tongue,' he ordered and she obeyed feeling her stomach sinking with each minute.

'At least your stupidity knows limits, well done,' he said sarcastically and it was like he physically stabbed her with his words.

When he raised his hand toward her she felt genuine panic to sink in as she gave him to bottle, 'From now one you shall report to my office each day in the morning and evening for a pill, understood? I will personally see to it that you take them. Have I made myself clear, Number Seven?'

'Yes,' she said. She waited for a painfully long time in front of her father before she asked finally said, 'May I still stay with number Five in the medical room?' She knew it was bottom line stupid to ask anything right now, but she wanted to at least know where she stood.

'I don't see a point in that considering Number Five is no longer acting like a lunatic,' said her father before frowned, 'Am I to expect more displays of such behaviour, number Seven?'

She bit the inside of her mouth hard enough for it to hurt.

'I asked you a question.'

'No, Sir.'

'Then I believe we are done here,' he said and went to return to his seat with the bottle of pills still in his hands.

She waited knowing she couldn't leave until she was specifically told to, 'Dismissed.'

She couldn't walk faster to the door if she wanted to knowing their father did not approve running in his office, 'One more thing.'

Number Seven stopped by the door ready to cry. She wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there and be saved from this misery, 'I believe we all saw the catastrophic recklessness caused by you and Number Five spending too much time together.'

_No..._

She kept looking at the door feeling the first tears rolling down her cheeks as she knew now he would tell her to stay away from him at all times. He would make her stay away from him or else he would make her leave the house. The only home and family she had.

'I don't need to tell you that it would be in your mutual benefit if you spent less time together. You serve as a great distraction for him and I can't have him distracted on missions. We wouldn't want anything bad happen to him, now would we? Unless of course this would prove too much of a task for you, and you would wish to be sent away. Perhaps to a school abroad?'

She shook her head knowing if she spoke he would hear her crying.

'Speak up, Number Seven.'

She quickly brush her tears into her sleeves before she turned around, her father wasn't even looking at her, his eyes glued to his research or whatever the hell he had in his hands.

'I-I won't,' she sobbed and closed her eyes to calm down a bit before she said, 'I won't bother Five anymore.'

She jerked back as her father shot her a look, but ultimately nodded shortly, 'Close the door on the way out.'

She couldn't get out of the room faster if she wanted to. Once she covered the door, her vision blurred completely as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She knew she should step away from the door, but she felt like her feet wouldn't listen as she was left there crying for what she wasn't even sure. It wasn't like he forbidden her completely to be with Five, but the way he said it all. She dread to think that he would sent her away, but she feared even more that he would hurt somehow Five. Because that was what it sounded like, right? She wasn't imagining it? He just...

'Hey, come here,' she heard and blinked. She couldn't see who was talking thought. Klaus?

She felt someone tug her arm and slowly led her away from the door, 'Trust me it's worse if he catches you in front of his office again.'

He sat her down to something comfy.

'What happened? Was he pissed because of Five?' asked Ben this time.

She nodded trying very hard not to cry, when she heard Allison, ' _I heard a rumour that you calmed down and stopped crying for now._ '

She hiccupped as the tears stopped all of a sudden like a switch went off. She hated when Allison did that, but she also felt like it was necessary now more than ever. She brushed her eyes into her sleeve before she looked up and found all her siblings looking down at her.

'What did he say?' Ben who was sitting next to her along with Klaus while Allison, Luther and Diego were standing looking down at her.

She shrugged her shoulders, 'The usual. That I'm distracting Five, and that he was upset because of our behaviour.'

'It sounded wo-worse than average,' said Diego looking a bit embarrassed and she realized he must have been listening.

She looked away, 'He said he would send me away...'

'Away where?' asked Ben sounding honestly worried.

Vanya closed her eyes, 'Some boarding school so I wouldn't distract Five and get him hurt again.'

'B-but,' Diego was frowning, 'But you said Five was hurt before he took you away.'

'How were you distracting him?' asked Allison sounding upset as well before she crossed her arms, 'This is _so_ like him, he just thinks we should be these mindless robots with no voice just following orders like a pack of sheep or something. He's just so _argh!_ '

Vanya blinked a bit confused by her sudden outburst and so were the others minus Luther who was giving her a look as if telling her something in secret, before he looked at Vanya, 'Just lay off of Five for a moment. Don't spent so much time together, and it will be fine. Dad will get over it. He always does. If...,' he sighed, 'if he really wanted to send you away he already would have.'

'Whoa, great pep talk _oh dear leader_ ,' said Klaus before he rolled his eyes and looked at Vanya, 'Just hung with Ben and I for a while. Lord knows he is not the best company.'

Ben shot him a look before he looked at her as well, 'Hey, speak for yourself, dumbass.'

Klaus waved a hand at him and Vanya nodded before she tugged her hair behind her ear again.

They seemed to start talking among themselves after that leaving Vanya to compose herself and her feelings a bit. She took a deep breath. She wouldn't cry because of the rumour, but she still felt shake about all of it.

It didn't take long for Grace to come to inform them about dinner.

She took her usual spot even though Five was still not allowed to eat with them. She didn't dare to raise her eyes from the plate worried she would catch father looking at her and cry again. He never did look at her directly during any meal time, but she feared him now more than ever.

She felt Ben touch her sleeve at one point which caused her to look at him. He didn't say anything and continued to eat. She was a bit confused by this until she realized she didn't even touch her food. She felt like she couldn't chew or swallow anything for that matter.

She still took the fork and knife and tried to cut the food in the smallest pieces imaginable just to seem like she was doing something before she ate a few.

* * *

**One day ago**

She still felt unsure about the whole idea. Sneaking into dad's office was tricky, but is room when he was asleep? That sounded like a plan for disaster and not a mission to stop the apocalypse. But honestly what else could they all do? It wasn't like the rest of their siblings would believe Five and her, but they weren't there. They didn't witness how broken Five was, and if he said there will be an apocalypse in 17 years which they had to stop, then they had to stop it.

Vanya and Five made sure they weren't seen together in the next couple of hours during studies or dinner avoiding any form of contact even knew both could feel each other presence and knew what it meant. They had a plan. Vanya doubted it was a good plan, but she doubted they whole idea so it might have been just the negative approach she was showing to the whole idea.

Also she had another dream last night which left her a bit confused. It wasn't like the one where she shot herself. It was a different about a woman who came to her in the scary dark room where she was usually all alone. For some reason the fact that the woman was there was worse than if she was alone. The woman made every hair on her skin stand up in fear. She was scared of her more than the dark or loneliness and that was saying something. It was like the woman had a dangerous aura around her. You didn't know who she was but it was obvious she was there to cause you harm in the worst way imaginable.

They waited until the lights went out before they started. Vanya patiently checked the watch strapped at her wrist, the one Five fetched her from somewhere, until it showed eleven o'clock.

She got out of her bed and walked to the hallway to the kitchen. She made it looked as casual as ever as she took out a glass from one of the shelves and put water into it when all of the sudden the back kitchen door opened on their own.

She very slowly turned around seemingly as if she was surprised and confused when she faced the door before she let out the most started and devastating scream she could produce. It wasn't just a scream of fear. It was like she put into it all the frustration, anger and pressure of the past few days, or maybe even years letting it all finally out into the open.

She stopped wailing like a banshee feeling a bit more relieved than she ever would have thought she would until she suddenly saw someone, a shadow of a man standing in the doorway.

The second scream, a real one, never came out as she immediately started to run up the stairs only to crash into Luther nearly stumbling back if he didn't catch her elbow, 'Hey-hey, what is it?'

Vanya was shocked. She looked back to the kitchen. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

She caught father and Pogo rushing toward them along with the others.

'There was a _man_ in the kitchen. The door opened and he...he was just there,' she said swallowing hard.

'Nonsense, the door is locked. No one could get inside-'

'He's there. He really is there,' she said her voice shaking. But that wasn't the plan...there wasn't supposed to be a man. It was supposed to be a trick. Five would teleport outside and open the door make it look like someone was there and she would scream that she saw someone, but there wasn't supposed to be anyone there!

'Number One, number Two check the kitchen,' ordered their father. Luther let her go as she still couldn't believe someone was actually in the kitchen.

'Number Seven,' said her father finally catching her attention as she raised her gaze at him. She partly expected him to call out on her bluff, but there was no way she could fake the shock and fear that well.

'The kitchen door is open,' called Luther from downstairs, 'But no one's there.'

'But he was...someone...some man,' she said confused and breathing hard as she thought if them man. He looked...like...he made her feel. She felt like throwing up for some reason. Her whole body felt like it was shaking over the idea of someone was actually there, but the fact that it was _that_ man.

At last Five showed up. At first he must have assume it was all a part of their plan, but something in Vanya's face must have make it clear it wasn't. They weren't meant to show that they were close in front of their father, but Five was right in front of her with his eyes wide and worried.

'What happened?' he asked searching her face for answers.

'Someone came into the house,' she spoke her voice sounding strange even to her. She could feel her father's gaze on them the whole time. She should find the man being at the door lucky because with his cold observation, it was obvious that sold the whole lie, well now it was actually truth. But she didn't find a strange being in the kitchen lucky even more when he brought back the memory of her dream from last night. He felt...he felt almost the same way the woman did. Like pure danger which could rip her apart from the inside just like the woman did in her deam.

'The Umbrella Academy, scan the house. Report all suspicion activity. Number Seven remain here with Grace,' he told her and she felt a tiny bit better when Grace instantly took her hand, 'It's alright, my dear.'

The all went to scan the house while their father disappear somewhere with Pogo talking in hushed voices. It wasn't until later that it occur to her that he must have go to check the cameras. She wished knew if Five had enough time to find where father usually place the keys and get familiar with father's bedroom for next time. She felt her heart was still beating so fast as she thought about the man in the dark coat, who made every hair on the back of neck stand up. He looked...he looked so...he made her feel weird.

The terribly dream came back to her and Vanya had this urge to touch the side of her head. She knew it was ridiculous but if felt so real...it felt like it actually happened.

They all went back to beds an hour later. Their father said that there really was an intruder in the house, but that he left, dismissing all further questions and ordering them all to bed. He stopped Vanya on her way and made her take another pill, a third one that day. She felt tears in her eyes again, but she took it and showed him her mouth so he knew she swallowed it. She had to figure out a way not to do that anymore. Before he caught her with Five, she only should have take one, now two, and tonight three. She felt losing the touch with reality every time she took one and was afraid that if this went off she would be nothing but an empty shell. She didn't remember a variety of things from the time she was adjusting to the second pill and even more when she first started to take them. She needed to figure out a way to stop taking them without her father noticing.

Once she was in her room, she wanted to talk to Five or fall asleep before the pill would make her numb again and she would forget to sleep again like before. She wasn't sure what she wanted more.

She just had drifted off because when she opened her eyes next she found Five's looking back at her and jerked startled the numbness leaving her body a bit from the startle.

'It's okay, I put the cameras on loop,' he whispered at her. She wasn't sure if it was a dream or not, but she hummed in approval. She was just freaked out someone was in her room, she didn't even have time to think about cameras.

'I saw the footage. There was a man. He came into the kitchen and then left,' said Five his voice with a strange heaviness Vanya couldn't place in her state of mind.

She closed her eyes again, 'He was so scary.'

'He looked average,' said Five, and she shook her head before she opened her eyes again, 'He wasn't. There was something about him...it made me feel scared.'

Five frowned, 'Why?'

She was quiet for a moment before she rose her finger and touched the spot on her head she was so certain should have a bullet hole in it. She massaged it for a moment without a word. She didn't tell him before. It scared her so much even if it was only a dream she didn't want to talk about it with him so it would raise panic in him as well. But in that moment, in the dark of the room and the third pill doing its trick on her mind she just started.

'I...when you came back, I had this dream, on the first night. I...since then I had it once again, but this time a bit different like the first dream was the ending, and the second was the scene before the ending. Like a story which starts from the ending and goes back to beginning to explain it all.'

Five's eyes were clearly looking at her finger on the side of her head, 'What was the dream about?'

'The second one was about me being in the dark room, just like many times before only this time I wasn't scared of it or desperate to get out like before. I wanted to be there,' she said and let her finger fall down to the mattress, 'But I wasn't alone. There was a woman...a terrifying woman much more scary than the dark or loneliness or being forgotten. She felt...god, Five, she made me feel like dad sometimes does like he is sucking all the warm out of me. She made me feel like she was going to make me go mad. We spoke, I don't know about what but she looked so pleased and I felt so horrible, so terrified so upset I...,' she stopped realizing her voice was raising.

She calmed down a bit, 'I don't know who she is or what she said, but if...I think she was the devil or some demon-monster or something.'

Vanya closed her eyes again, 'The man felt the same. He felt like he could suck the warm out of me and make me go mad. I don't know why it felt that way, but it did. The dream...then ends.'

Five watched silently for a moment before he spoke, 'Was that the second dream?'

Vanya nodded into the pillow keeping her eyes shut.

'What about the first one? The ending?' he asked and despite concern she could also hear curiosity in his voice. He couldn't push away his nature.

'I'm standing in the middle of the chaos. I can't see clearly, but I see a gun lying next to me. I take it and I press it against my temple and then pull the trigger.'

She didn't dare to open her eyes as she heard Five gaps shocked and probably horrified by her words, _'Vanya.'_

She hugged herself shifting the mattress a bit. She suddenly felt so cold like as if the woman or man were here ready to steal her warm, her will to live even. Maybe they did...maybe in the future they did that to her...

'And in the next moment I am...dead. I am standing and I see people all around me. They look familiar...I think...I think they're the others, our siblings, but older, like they're look Grace age or older and then...then there's you, but you look the same, and you come to my body and hold me dead...in your arms.'

There was absolute silence after her last words. If it was possible there wasn't even the sound of Five's breathing involved.

A moment had passed, then another and another before Vanya felt Five's hand on her arm and his body shifting toward her, his body heat warming her body, which welcomed the new sensation saving her from the coldness brought by her dreams and the strange people in black.

She kept her eyes closed as she felt him press his forehead against her, 'It won't happen.'

'I...I'm starting to think it already did,' she whispered and felt a breath catch in his throat.

'I won't let it,' he said and gripped her arm with more force as if he was trying to let her know by the touch how strong and capable he was.

She sighed, 'We need to find the notebook.'

'Did you hear me?' he asked, but she just let her hand touch his elbow, 'We will continue tomorrow...you can sneak into dad's room and take the key this time without him waking up. You will go through the lockedup drawers.'

'I don't care about the plan right now,' he spoke his voice sounding upset, angry even.

She opened her eyes. He was frowning at her. Why was he so upset with her? It wasn't her fault she had those dreams haunting her...she didn't to have them. She regretted saying anything in the first place with the way he was acting.

She tried to move away from his hold, 'Maybe you should go.'

He blinked his eyes, all the anger gone from them even his eyebrows softened making the frown disappear, 'Vanya-'

'I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. You should go to your room-'

'No, Vanya, stop, I... _shit_ ,' he cursed.

'Language,' she said automatically while he leaned closer to her, 'Don't say that. I'm sorry. I...I'm not angry at you please don't ever think I'm angry with you. I'm...I'm angry at the whole situation and that you have to go through this. You don't deserve nightmares to haunt you like this, and I don't know...I don't know how to help you.'

Oh, so he wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself for not being helpful. It sounded like something Five would get worked out about. When you have powers which appears to be limitless, it can make you pretty frustrated if you stumble upon something you can't help with. Especially if it is happening to someone you care about. Vanya felt like when Five was hurt as well, even if she didn't have any powers.

'I need you to get better and to not feel like this...I-what can I do? How can I help?' he asked, his voice without a single trace of anger, only desperation to somehow be useful, to help somehow. Something she was all too familiar with and almost never allowed to be.

Vanya blinked, 'But it's nothing-'

'It's not _nothing_ when you dream of shooting yourself,' he said lowering his voice, 'I don't want you to have to suffer like that. I can't lose you, you...you have no idea how much it scares me what you just described to me. I can't image you having to see it. I noticed...I noticed how you started to touch your head, but I didn't get it. I thought it was a new habit or something, but this...,' he let his finger run into her hair and pressed his palm against her while temple where she had been looking for the entry hole lately, 'There is nothing there. No wound, alright? And there won't be because whatever the hell happened, whatever caused the apocalypse, we will figure it out and stop it.'

_We, we, we..._

_Like she wasn't the useless and the most powerless member of the household._

Vanya sighed, 'It's...,' she didn't want to say _okay_ , 'If you want to help, then let's find the notebook and figure this out. If it's the future then we still have time to stop it, change it. Just like we planned.'

'Vanya,' he said, his voice was shaking.

'Five, don't work yourself up about this so much-'

'I can't,' he greeted through his teeth.

'Why?'

'Because I caused them,' he said bitterly, 'Or my future self. He told you about the apocalypse and shitty future and now you have nightmares.'

Vanya frowned, 'Don't say it like that. This isn't a who's fault is situation,' she sighed a bit trying to calm down.

'You...you trusted me enough to tell me and make me help...you can't imagine how much that means for someone like me,' she admitted.

'Of course, I did...I don't think I trust anyone in this world more than you,' he said it, and she could feel how vulnerable he was in that moment, but she couldn't help, but smiled. He always asked her to trust him, but to admit he trusted her back and so much made her feel better than any assurance would. It was something else to hold on to, then gunshots, and creepy people in black, or apocalypses.

She moved closer to him letting her hand rest against his chest for a moment blaming it on the pills and exhaustion, 'Just sleep next to me like before and maybe when I know you're with me again, I won't see them, alright? Just like we use to?'

She knew it was risky given all the things dad said lately, but she didn't care. She was tired and she missed Five sleeping next to her. Just for tonight, she wanted things to feel the way they did before dad found out and she got numbed down by the pills and Five time travelled. Just for tonight.

Five didn't look or sounded convinced that she was okay, which was good because she wasn't, but he stayed the night close to her with his hand against the side of her head until she felt asleep.

No nightmares came to haunt her that night.

* * *

**Now**

Vanya was in the bathroom. She wanted to brush her teeth when her father passed the room with the bottle of pills. She took one out and swallowed before she opened her mouth and showed her tongue and under it. Once he was satisfied he walked away.

She took the tooth paste and put it on her brush. She closed the door since she felt weirdly exposed. There was a small mirror upon the sink.

She started to brush feeling the brush move against her mouth over her teeth back and front and sides.

She thought about the dream. She had it again the shot, Ben, Five, her siblings older, the mysterious woman who was like her person devil. She felt sick to her stomach as words started to come to her mind seemingly out of nowhere.

_I don't want to hurt anyone. They're going to make me do it, aren't they? They're going to make me cause the apocalypse over and over again until I just do. Five, I can't hurt you. Five, I-I-I...I love you...I love you more than...I love you more than I love myself, do you understand?_

Vanya didn't even know what was happening until she wasn't on her knees in front of the toilet puking the breakfast out along with what she supposed was most of the content of the pill.

She brushed her mouth with the toilet paper and watched the disgusting leftovers of her stomach before she flushed it and stood up the brush still in her hand. Her throat felt sore from throwing up like that.

She looked at herself in the mirror again seeing the remains of her throwing up on her face. She cleaned her tooth brush until it was spotless and then she washed her face almost until the point it hurt from her scrubbing it so hard.

'Damn it, Vanya, how much longer?' she heard Diego's impatient voice from the outside. She quickly skipped passed him. Luckily he didn't demand an explanation as he rushed inside before someone else would.

Her throat still hurt as she returned to her room to get dressed for, but unlike most of the days when numbness creeped into her head and tuned everything down, now she could feel everything more clearly. She thought about those words...was that a part of the dream from before? She couldn't really tell anymore.

'You alright?' asked Ben as he was suddenly in her doorway probably on his way to the bathroom.

She looked up and smiled nodding not sure if she actually pulled it off, 'Yeah, I'm okay.'

She waited until he left before she looked back at the smallest mirror she had on her desk. It was Allison's old one, but since she got a new one, she gave it to Vanya for some reason, only this time she saw a different face looking back at her. The face of the woman who Five was holding in his arms in her dream. She looked older and very tired and the sadness in her eyes made Vanya heartbroken for some reason. She was smiling though. She had her lips pulled into the smallest of the small smiles almost as if it was only hinted and not actually there.

Vanya couldn't help but think it was the most _tragic_ smile she ever saw.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Hi there, only one chapter this week. I was literally doing something every day after work through the whole week. Also me and my boyfriend had a 5 year anniversary on Friday so we spent the whole Saturday together.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for finding the time to read this, and I hope you enjoyed it and still well like it :) I'm glad you all like the story so far or I hope you do, and I hope you will continue to like it for a long time well at least until I decided how much more chapters I want. Yes, I already have a draft of the ending so all I have to do now is tie it all toward it *internal scream to why I must complicate things so much*
> 
> :D hehe no biggie
> 
> The next chapter will be as I mentioned before a time-jump to a couple of years to the future. All the siblings will be maybe fifteen or sixteen I haven't decided yet. There will probably be flashbacks from the time they were thirteen or younger as well as a flashback from the old timeline. And yes the mystery man from the kitchen will make an appearance, and no he is not Hazel.
> 
> If you want leave a feedback :) if not it is cool as well :)
> 
> Have a nice day, until next time :)


	14. Chapter 14

**3 years ago – old timeline**

Growing up, Five came to the conclusion that mind was one of the trickiest thing in the world. A rational and pragmatic person by nature, he found truth in the statement that only which can be seen, examine, or by some variety of tests and experiments proved was truly there. This was something he believed until he was thirteen and on one seemingly uneventful morning he decided to finally try and time travel.

He ran from the table, the dining room, and the house outside to the street feeling almost as if walking on air, his whole body beating with excitement of what he was about to do, achieve, prove to his father and siblings, and finally set things right with Vanya.

Five set his mind in motion before he did the first jump experiencing the familiar yet different sensation of moving without moving at all, except this time through time instead of space.

He went to the summer, the winter, and then...

However, instead of witnessing something great, something worth achieving, something amazing...he saw the streets, the houses, the buildings and the city on fire with ash all around him.

Five looked around panicked nearly stumbling as his foot hit a large rock on the way. He desperately started to look around.

_No!_

He started to run back, back to his home.

'VANYA!' he called to the ruins desperate for an answer. What happened?

'BEN!'

'Anyone,' he said before he clenched his fists and tried to go back.

_GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK!_

He felt and saw his power running through his hands, but ultimately nothing happened. His powers which always gained him the freedom he desired so much, had failed him today.

He was stuck.

He collapsed to his knees for the first time tasting the defeat and his father's words echoing in his mind polluting it with insanity.

_It's not real. This isn't real. You're not stuck...you can't be..._

But number Five always believed the what he could witness with his own eyes, even if they were burning with tears and ash in the moment.

* * *

**3 years ago – new timeline**

Growing up, Five came to the conclusion that mind was one of the trickiest thing in the world. A rational and pragmatic person by nature, he found truth in the statement that only which can be seen, examine, or by some variety of tests and experiments proved is truly there. This was something he believed until he was thirteen and on one seemingly uneventful morning he decided to finally try and time travel.

He ran from the table, the dining room, and the house outside to the street feeling almost as if walking on air, his whole body beating with excitement of what he was about to do, achieve, prove to his father and siblings, and finally set things right with Vanya.

Five set his mind in motion before he did the first jump experiencing the familiar yet different sensation of moving without moving at all, except this time through time instead of space.

However, instead of witnessing something great, something worth achieving, something amazing...he saw Vanya on the street looking at him shocked and confused before he hugged her and kidnapped her from the front of their house, while his father was threatening them.

It was like he was watching a movie which they rarely did honestly, but he saw one enough of times to caught the similarities. He could see everything which was happening around him through his eyes, but his thoughts were non-existing. It was like he was just there to watch, see things sometimes getting lost in his own thoughts and losing the scene only to be surprised by what was happening in the next one while he wasn't paying attention. In fact, it was so surreal that if he didn't have Vanya to confirm all of it was true, he would assume his father was doing an experiment on him in order to force him not to time travel. But Vanya was there as well and witness all what happened in the motel and then at home.

Ever since he was a child, Five trusted only what he could see with his own eyes, or examine by laws of physics and math, but the day he time travelled his mind and eyes, something he thought he could trust without a doubt, failed him causing him to lose memories...by Vanya's words decades of memories.

His father warned him about the effect of time travelling on his mind, but he would never imagine something like _this_. Something which made him afraid, very much afraid that he lost his memories, important memories, memories which could have helped him stop the apocalypse.

Five tried to push it inside and not show how much it affected him mostly so he would throw their father off suspicion and gain some independence and freedom once again which he lost since he time travelled. Monocle basically had him under nonstop supervision. But...it was there. The scar on his side from having stitches and an open wound, the trauma left by knowing you couldn't trust your own mind, thoughts, memories, yourself. Something which scared Five to the bone. If he couldn't trust himself, who could he trust?

The answer was so simple it he didn't always know how to feel about it or what to do with.

_Vanya_

When he couldn't trust himself, his own eyes, his own memories, he could trust her. She was there to witness him coming back, and she was a living proof that it happened. Their father could do many things, but he couldn't take _this_ away from them.

However, taking the only lead they had of the apocalypse was something he could and probably did. Five had spent months searching and researching his office with zero luck. Wherever he put his notebook, it wasn't in the office or the house for that matter. He found many stashes, of almost everyone in the house, but not the notebook. He didn't understand it. Where the hell was it?

Lately, he was playing with the theory that perhaps, the strange man who came to the house one night, scaring Vanya took it. If he was right about that, they didn't have a chance to find it.

1st April 2019 seemed so far away, and yet so dreadfully approaching, Five didn't know how yet, but he would stop it. Somehow, he would find the notebook and stop it. He didn't know why he had this feeling of responsibility about the whole ordeal, or why he felt like he couldn't tell anyone about it but Vanya, but he did, and both of those feelings were enough to help him keep going and trying even if would take years...

* * *

**Now**

Five felt the headache growing a bit with each second. He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. Just a few more minutes. That was usually how it went with his seemingly endless stream of headaches. They would come out of nowhere making it almost hard to stand for a couple of minutes and then they would pass. When they first started to show up dad had him tested. Although he didn't say it Five had read enough medical books by that time, to know he was worried he had brain damage or a tumour given his time travelling experience. The results came negative for all, and he could tell his father started to speculate if the headaches weren't just made up by his head, so he stopped talking about them all together.

'You alright?' he heard Ben by his side as he must have seen his discomfort.

He nodded shortly, and returned to the view outside on the clouds. He didn't feel like talking to any of his siblings because of what happened last night. Vanya had another one of her nightmares, but instead of only him comforting her as he usually did the others came as an intervention wagon demanding to know what was going on as they did in fact notice their strange behaviour. So much for thinking he was being incredibly subtle.

They were inside a private jet heading to Nebraska now, and he couldn't help, but feel...nervous jumpy and irritated. It wasn't the height. Since early age they were force to climb the rope in the gym and practice falls from the second floor down on a mat. When he was seven Monocle pushed him out of a window without any mat under him just so he would force him to teleport.

He broke a wrist and wouldn't hear the end of how reckless and foolish _he_ was for a week. _He_ was the reckless and foolish one, not the man who pushed a child out of a window.

_Fucking prick._

He looked over at their father and frowned. He was upset with him which wasn't anything new. Lately it felt like they were constantly at each other's throat about this or that, and it was starting to show that the old man was beginning to realize just how much he was losing control over Five. The others might have still feel some respect for the man or fear or admiration or whatever the freaking trauma of their childhood might have caused them to feel, but not him. Now more than ever he was starting to see who the man was. A nobody. An abusive dictator who took pleasure in hurting them, even if he tried to act like it was all for a greater cause or for them to achieve greatness, Five could see through the bullshit. He found what they loved, adored or cared about and took it away from them, that was no way that could be for good reasons. No reason seemed good enough for that.

The reason he was upset with him today however was because of his freaking cruel intentions with Vanya.

In the morning before they were supposed to leave the prick told Vanya to pack a bag that she would come with them to help him observe the mission.

Five had to admit he felt a bit thrilled about the possibility of Vanya seeing them all in action. It was something which rarely happened nowadays. Usually the old man was pushing her as far from the Umbrella Academy as possible or so it would appear with him always telling her she was distracting them, or in their way.

Five was a bit surprised he didn't literally send her away yet. However, then the old man changed his mind. He told her she would be coming, and then he just told her to stay in her room. He didn't even let them say goodbye to her, but he still teleported to her room.

She wasn't even crying. She was just sitting on the bed her bag still packed. He didn't blame her that she didn't feel like unpacking. She had a horrible night before with another one of her _real_ dreams, or better yet a nightmare, and now this.

Honestly, how many times could a father bring you down that you no longer even felt surprised or hurt by it?

He grabbed her wrist to make her look at him, 'Fuck him.'

She smirked a little bit at that. No comment about language this time. With the years they grew past that. Vanya didn't say it, but it was clear she felt the same way about _father dearest_ now. She was always nicer than him to say it though.

He liked when she smirked like that. It made her look a bit rebellious and daring not like her usual sweet self although if he was completely honest not even the sweet girl wasn't the real her. Vanya had layers of emotions and personalities which simple characteristic couldn't cover. She was human just like the rest of them. Sometimes he wondered if he would ever be able to see the whole spectrum of who she really was already feeling like he saw more than most, and feeling like she already saw him, _all of him_. She could read him almost perfectly and when she looked at him, it was like she saw him. Really saw him. No one did that. Their family saw number Five, pragmatist, realist someone who was good in combat, could be easily annoyed and thought he was more clever than the rest. The public so Number Five a member of the Umbrella Academy, always polished and spot on professional. People rarely saw people for who they really were. Five supposed now that you had to care enough to be able to see it.

'Stay safe,' she told him.

'Please, you should worry about the bad guys,' he told her with confidence. He knew the parameters of the mission, apart from having the fly out for it, there wouldn't be anything special about it.

She looked up at him, 'Don't be cocky...just...be okay. Come back all in one piece. Say _hi_ to the others.'

He watched her for a moment. He felt strange. He felt like he wanted to tell her something _else_...more, but the words wouldn't form themselves in his mind, and without them, he just didn't know what to say. It was starting to happen a lot around her. Especially when she looked at him in a certain way or moved closer. He just felt like he wanted to tell her something, make her know...but _what?_ He wasn't sure yet.

He squeezed her hand for a moment. It felt almost painful to do so but he let go, 'Don't wait up.'

In the next moment he teleported back to the car where his father shot him a glare, he ignored and sat down next to Diego with a shiteating grin, 'Vanya says _hi_.'

Most of his siblings chuckled and even Luther smiled a bit which was an achievement.

Now the light mood was gone, and he felt his headache getting the best of him. The headaches were not an unusual affair. They started around the time he first time travelled. He wondered if the sole purpose of the headache was to be a painful reminded about his failure to achieve his dream. Well, he didn't fail per say, he just couldn't remember anything. It still tasted like a failure. He should know. Their father made sure, they always assumed they had failed or would fail in something even if they were positive they were right or would make it. The man should get some father of the decade award or something.

* * *

Five honestly just wanted to enjoy his shower, his arm hurt like hell and he felt incredibly tired. He would finally let himself rest under the steam of almost burning hot water to relax and unknot all his muscles before he would face palmed the bed and not wake up until it was time to leave.

The mission was supposed to be easy, until Diego and Luther didn't start bricking about something and in the motion to cover Klaus from the impact, he fell and hit his shoulder pretty hard. This wouldn't have happened if they all were on their positions, but then again, they wouldn't be Diego and Luther if they didn't argue. Lately, however, it was worst with both of them doing so at the least convenient time like during a mission. Borderline idiocy in Five's opinion.

He was always a person who thought that whatever you are dealing with needs to be pushed aside, the moment you were on a mission. Emotions, feelings, whatever, all of that must go away to the background to process and face the situation with the cold mind. He didn't understand why this was such a problem for number One and Two.

He pressed himself against the wall of the shower not thinking about how probably unhygienic it was with all the weird people in the hotel. With his eyes closed he let himself enjoy the water for a couple of minutes before he would start to actually wash himself. He really needed this.

When he heard the banging on the door, his eyes snapped to the direction with so much venom he might as well poisoned the person behind it, with it.

'Hey, Vanya's calling. She sounds upset,' came Diego's muffled voice.

Five blinked stunned before he jumped out of the shower pulled on a robe not bothering with clothes and unlocked the door, 'What do you mean?'

'She's calling the front desk,' he whispered making sure no one heard him. By no one he meant Sir Reginald.

Five didn't waste time and got to the desk where Allison was silently listening to the other line of the phone with concern all over her face. Later Five would think about how strange it was since she snapped the door on Vanya's face the other day upset when she came to ask her for some brush or something equally basic.

'Vanya said some man came to the house to take her,' explained Diego, and it was enough for Five to go to action.

Allison let out a startled gasp when Five suddenly grabbed the phone from her hand before she shoved him with anger. He didn't care.

'Vanya, what's wrong?' he demanded trying to keep his voice in check with little luck. He felt his whole body at high alert the shoulder and headache the least of his problems now.

He heard a sob, and felt his whole body going into overdrive. The worst scenarios popping into his head before he dismissed all of them and focused.

'Vanya, I can't help you if you don't tell me,' he said and heard her take a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down. He immediately regretted being so harsh, but he had to know what was going on. His mind drifted to the man who had been haunting Vanya since he appeared in their kitchen almost three years ago. The man connected to the apocalypse. He just hoped he really wasn't the man who took her hostage as she dreamed last night.

'Dad...dad is sending me away,' she said so quietly he would have missed it if he wasn't familiar with the softness of her voice.

He froze.

'He sent a chauffeur to come get me and take me to the airport. He arranged a flight for me to London,' she said voice breaking at the end of the call, and he gripped the phone.

'He what-?'

'What is she saying?' he heard Allison in the background, but he ignored her.

She took another deep breath, 'That was why he told me to pack...'

He closed his eyes, his lips pulling into a twisted smirk. Of fucking course, that old bastard had a reason to ask her to pack and then not come with that. He knew he wouldn't really take her, and doing it just to hurt her seemed rather silly even for him.

'Five?' asked Allison sounding a bit concerned before Five opened his eyes and said, 'Just stay home. Go to your room unpack and tell the man to leave.'

'But dad already paid for-'

'Do you want to go?' he asked her cutting off her arguments.

'No!' she almost screamed into the phone sounding startled by the mere thought of leave.

'Good, then tell the man that his service will be no longer needed and go to your room,' said Five feeling dreaded as well by the possibility that if she probably didn't find some clues where they were staying in dad's office, he would come home to find her gone.

'Alright,' she said her voice all small and humble again.

'And Vanya?'

'Yes, Five?'

'Good job on finding where we're staying,' he said hoping he sounded as impressed as he felt by that. Although she rarely acknowledged it herself, being told too many times that she was good for nothing, Vanya was clever. She was in her own way a very smart and skilful person proving herself in the most stressful situation for example patching him up in a motel when they were thirteen, successfully snooping around Pogo's room, causing distractions to avert the attention from, not to mention climbing out of the house at times. He knew just how amazing she was, it was a shame she had such a hard time believing it herself. Another thing they could tank their father for.

He heard her let out a relieved breath, just a small one, but when she spoke again he could hear the smile in her voice, 'Thanks.'

'We'll be home in a couple of hours,' he told her before he ended the call after their goodbyes.

'Did dad really-?' started Diego.

'Yes,' said Five already moving back to the stairs.

Luther looked at him uneasy following him, 'And you just told her to not-'

'Yes,' he said again and continued to walk.

'And now you're going to-'

'Yes, and if all of you are done stating the obvious, I have work to do,' he said and continued to walk.

His father was a piece of shit.

* * *

'You tried to send her away,' said Five as he teleported into the room their father was staying in.

He was reading a book near the window without looking up at him, 'Try would imply that I have not been successful.'

'You tried to send away her behind our backs!' snapped Five hoping his father would feel frightened at least a little bit, but of course, he would never show it, Five doubted he ever felt scared in his whole life given how little he cared about anything other than himself and his stupid notes.

'I suppose you told her not to go. You do realize that you just ruined an opportunity of a lifetime for her. I don't supposed someone with such lack of creativity or spark would get to such a school on her own-'

'Fuck you.'

His father finally looked at him, 'From someone as clever as you like to think you are I would have expected a better comeback.'

Five smirked at him, 'Well, you always told us what a great disappointment we are. Wouldn't want to change the pattern now.'

The old man watched him for a moment before he stood up. Somewhat Five would preferred if he stayed seated. He hated to admit it. But even though he couldn't care less about his approval anymore, he still felt...scared of the old man. It was ridiculous given that he could punch him in a matter of seconds, but he still...he wasn't sure what it was. But he still felt despite all of the bad blood between them that he was his somewhat of a parent, and that it meant something. It meant some sort of respect if nothing else. Five full on hated himself for feeling this way about the man.

'Vanya could have studied in the most prestigious school in UK. A school she will never get on her own. You just took that away from her because of some selfish need to keep her around?' asked his father before he shrugged, 'And hear I thought you had her best interest always in mind. I supposed sixteen years or not you're still just a selfish arrogant brat, aren't boy?'

Five shook his head, 'I don't care what you think, and Vanya's not going anywhere. She doesn't want to leave.'

'That's because she doesn't know better,' said the man and instead of walking toward Five he walked toward the window, 'The only thing she knows is a house full of extraordinary children who are above her. Ordinary people should be able to live their lives among themselves, don't you think? You're robbing her of a chance to finally feel like she belongs somewhere. I am sure if you didn't tell her to say she wouldn't have,' he said lightly like they were having a nice conversation about the weather or something.

'Of course, she would, because you're a tyrant who punishes every sign of misbehaving like it was a sin,' barked Five shaking his head at the man in front of him losing his patience completely.

'And stop making it sound like you're doing her a _favour_. The only reason she feels like she doesn't belong with us is because of you. You forced her to feel like she was less every second of her life. Don't act like this wasn't you-'

'I'm not,' said his father surprising him a bit with that, 'Number Seven as much as you show sentiment for her is and always will be just an ordinary girl. She does not belong with the rest of you. I am giving her a chance to finally be with people who could see and take her as equal, number Five. People who could truly appreciate her. Something you cannot.'

'That's not true. I never looked at her as if she was beneath me-'

'Sentiment.'

'And neither did the others,' said Five immediately regretting the lie.

'Now you are just fooling yourself. You may have a soft spot for her which I should have apparently burnt out years ago, but the rest don't see her as anything more than the people they see outside of the house. Useless mass, who always needs to be saved and told what to do. People who aren't a part of their world, their life, people _beneath_ them.'

'And whose fault is that?' asked Five stepping closer, ' _You_ did that. You pushed us away from her every single day of our lives. You made the others feel this way about her. Like because she didn't have powers she was less. She's not! People aren't meant to be view based on some freakish accident when they gained powers. People are people, and no one is _ordinary_.'

His father was quiet for a moment probably composing himself before his next move. Five knew the old man well. If he started to fight with him raising his voice and all, he would risk Five either leaving or getting violent. It wouldn't be the first time, Five's calm and calculative nature was pushed to the side, but his sudden outburst which made the rest unease and torn between wanting to protect their father or stay on Five's side.

'No, number Five. I started to push you from her long _after_ you started to detach yourselves from her first,' his father turned back toward him, 'You were kids and you started to train and take part in the lives you were supposed to lead as heroes. I didn't push her away from you, you all did, and if you are being completely honest with yourself you remember it. At first it was small things like not waiting for her, then not playing with her, then the rest. I told you not to include her only afterwards when it was clear you didn't show any interest in her in the first place and she was becoming more and more demanding with wanting to be a part of something she couldn't. You were kids, you were reckless, she was getting close, and it would be incredibly easy for her to get hurt. Remember the beginnings? When not even you felt safe with Number Six practicing his powers, or how Number Three sometimes slipped? Number Two cut Number Four during training, and Number One almost punched you with full strength before he punched through the wall. Can you imagine someone as defenceless as number Seven to be around for that?'

Five watched him for a moment taking in his words before he chuckled humourless, 'You got a good act, old man. I'll give you that. Next thing you will say is that you actually care for her.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' said the man at least not trying to sell his lies to impossible heights.

'My interest lays in something far greater than you can even imagine, Number Five, and I'm afraid you're too young and naive to understand it.'

Five frowned at him feeling the same anger he always felt toward his father knowing the old man was just trying to manipulate him. He was good at that. He always knew what to say or do to make them play his games. But Five wasn't a little kid anymore, and he never was as obedient as the rest of his family. Monocle could try all he wanted, he wouldn't get to him.

'I don't care, _dad_. Vanya doesn't want to. She's not going anywhere. You can't make her,' said Five and his father nodded, 'You're not wrong. Perhaps you should consider the alternative. I do not wish for number Seven to stay in the house anymore, she can go to the school in London where I have generously provided for her all which she could possibly need, or she can go live on the street.'

Five froze.

'Don't expect me to just keep her in the house, if I no longer see the reason for her to be there. She can go somewhere where she will be provided for or...I don't really care,' said Sir Reginald, and Five teleported toward him in the blink of an eye grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and smashing him against the window with enough force it could break it, but enough to scare at least himself with such violent act. He was taller now, not as tall as his father but tall enough.

'You're a fucking piece of shit, you know that right?' asked Five hoping his voice wasn't shaking too much.

'What use would someone so useless be to me now?' asked the man not looking even a little bit concerned that Five could throw him through the glass if he wanted to. And boy, did he want to feeling his whole body and mind at war with just fucking hurting the old man. Just once causing him so sort of pain for all the horrible things he was doing so far to all of them.

'She's not going _anywhere_ ,' said Five slowly wanting to set the fear of God into the man, but seeing immediately that he was failing.

'And what would you have her as? Your personal toy? A doll or teddy bear children need to sleep with at night?' mocked his father pointing out that he knew that they still sometimes slept together in the bed.

'Fine, kick her out then, but I'm coming with her,' said Five and let the old man go and even stepping away to show.

'You cannot seriously expect me to let you leave the Umbrella Academy,' said his father. What pissed Five maybe even more than the whole conversation was how Monocle sounded. Like he was a parent who was mildly annoyed with a misbehaving child.

_Fucking bastard_

Five clenched his jaw with anger, 'I don't expect you to do anything, and luckily for you I don't care about what you _let_ me do or not,' said Five and started to walk away.

'Seem a bit sad though. The great Umbrella Academy getting split up at its peak.'

'You think you're that essential to it? That without you it would fall apart? Ah, you must be even more delusional then I originally assumed. You always had an ego far bigger than the rest of your siblings, but I would assume you had enough wisdom to see through such madness.'

Five smirked at him and put his hands behind his back, 'No, but I think that once the others see that we are leaving, they will finally realize that they can leave as well. Klaus is already more out than home, but you know that. Diego and Ben are searching online applications for high schools and universities. Allison always rambles about being a star in L.A. I'm only curious if Luther will be more into staying loyal to you or leaving with Allison. Then again, he is a hormonal teenage boy. All of which you are picking up upon even if you won't show it. You know all of this. You know that all it takes is a spark and your precious Umbrella Academy will explode with us leaving one by one. Because a family is hard to leave behind, but the Umbrella Academy is not a family, it's just an institution, a club, just some after school activity for us,' said Five with the smirk still presented on his face.

His father was silent for the longest time. Five wasn't sure what would happen now. He knew his father was an asshole, but he was a very prideful man with big ego himself. Something Five hated about him the most because at some dark moments, he was realizing how much they could be alike. It made Five sick to think he could be like their father. Emotionally detached from everyone ready to hurt and inflict pain for his own selfish reasons not caring about anyone and anything but his own mad goals. It was something Five never wished to become.

'Do you wish me to start begging now? But I assure you, such thing will not happen,' said the old man, but the fact that he straight on didn't tell Five to go if he was such a smartass, was something.

Five felt pleased with himself, 'No. I'm sure it would be a treat to watch, but I'm not that much of a sadist. It's your choice though. If you want me to stay as this obedient son-'

Reginald snorted at that.

'Vanya stays as well, and since you mentioned it. I think a music school wouldn't be the worst option for her. One in the city though.'

'Of course would you also have me bribe a diploma for her?' asked the old man mocking, and Five shot him a look, 'I believe that won't be necessary given how good she is. But I think we all could use days off. _All_ of us.'

'Now, you're just being a delusional brat.'

Five smirked at him, 'Nope, we do what _you_ want, give you all _you_ want, but _we_ want something back now. We want days off-'

'Number Five, I don't think you understand-'

'Of course, we would be at alert if a new mission came, but just like with our free times on Sundays, we want actual days off when we can go out of the house if we want to,' said Five already picturing it. He knew he was pushing his luck. But for the first time since ever he felt like he had some advantage over his father. He finally figured out his Achilles' heel, and he was not letting it go that easily.

'Now, why would you need that if you're already sneaking out of the house at night?' asked Reginald.

So he knew about that as well.

'Because it's at night,' said Five knowing it was foolish with such a demand, but if he was on the roll, he wanted to make the most of it.

'So about it? Reggie?' he asked and gave him his best shiteating grin knowing his father hated the when he looked that smug.

* * *

They didn't even wait until morning before they were all told to get on the jet that they were leaving. The others kept on giving Five odd looks, but he ignored them. Monocle didn't say anything about the days off yet, but it was a matter of time. For once Five had some leverage on him. Even if just a little bit. It felt good to at least have some sort of freedom for once.

He couldn't wait to tell Vanya. He felt his heart beating with excitement of the thought of her being able to go to a music school in the city. He felt annoyed as he remembered Reginald's stupid comment about bribing her a diploma. She was fantastic. Five had no doubt she would do amazingly in any music school because despite their father's BS. She was _that_ good.

Sighing to himself, he pressed his head against the window. He wished he was with her now more than anywhere else. She would be so happy. He could picture it, he wanted to see it. She deserved it. She deserved everything there was, and he would freaking make her get it all even if he had to go on missions, and almost kill himself with nasty tests and practises, he would get it all for her.

He wanted for her to have everything especially after last night when she had that horrible nightmare.

* * *

**Yesterday**

So far she had 32 dreams in total all written down in a new white notebook she purposely hide between her underwear. No one but Five knew of its existence. If their father saw it on the cameras. He didn't care enough about it to steal it.

Most of dreams were pretty harmless, sometimes almost boring and uneventful. Vanya would dream of her going to auditions in the Icarus, or just being alone and writing something. Other times, there were dreams of their family, but he was never a part of those dreams. It made him wonder if perhaps this wasn't caused by him scaring her with running away and time travelling. Maybe she had dreams she was alone, and without him, but he also didn't believe they were just dreams. Not with how seriously she spoke about them, at least the ones where she shot herself and the woman who made her do it.

Tonight Vanya woke up choking on her cries as she was in the dark tangled in her sheets. He heard her from across the hallway as he didn't spent the night in her room that night. Something which he regretted now dearly.

He teleported immediately, knowing for sure that she must have awoken most of the floor with her horrifying sounds.

Five got to her room just as Allison and Ben did both looking startled at the scene in front of them. He paid them little to no mind, as he carefully sat Vanya up pulling the sheets off her to the floor. He opened the window and literally hugged her from behind as he pressed her closer to it so she could get more fresh air brushing her hair which got glued to her forehead away.

'I will go get Mom,' offered Ben, but Vanya started to shake her head trying to find her voice to tell him not to.

Allison stepped closer and touched her shoulder to make her look at her, 'I heard a rumour you could breathe just fine.'

Vanya's eyes went white as Allison's command ran through her, and she took a deep breath being able to breathe again.

She looked at Allison and nodded, 'Thank you.'

Allison offered her a small smile before Five took the initiative.

'What happened?' he asked as he sat by her side softly brushing her back hoping it would calm her a bit. He wondered if she dreamed of shooting herself again. The idea still making his blood run cold with fear. He couldn't even properly think about Vanya not being alive and worse causing it herself. He wasn't...he didn't know what he would do, but he was sure he would lose his own goddamn mind if it happened.

'I was in the dark,' started Vanya shivering, but most likely not from the cold, 'there was no sound, but I could feel...I was handcuffed,' she said a tear running down her cheek now, 'There was a man there...he said he would keep me locked up there.'

Five felt sick to his stomach at such a horrifying thing to occur. He didn't care that Ben and Allison were there or that he could see Klaus in the hallway. He just pulled her into a hug hiding his face in her hair for a moment so his siblings wouldn't see his own weakness, even if they most likely knew by now. He wasn't very subtle about how much he cared for Vanya so far anyway. But he didn't care. She needed comfort, so he would give it to her. It was simple as that.

'It was just a nightmare. Don't worry,' said Allison but when she looked at Five's face she paused. It was like she could see something there, which made her unsure.

'It's just a nightmare, right?' she asked slowly and Five clenched his jaw before he looked at Vanya again, 'It's alright now.'

He looked at Allison, 'What else would it be?'

Allison looked at Klaus and Ben before she looked back at Five, 'We...we know you're hiding something. The two of you.'

Klaus came into the room and so did Diego and Luther who must have been hiding in the hallway by then. Luther closed the door after them.

'We know you were in our rooms,' said Klaus, 'I have this thing about making sure no one steals my things-'

'You mean your weed,' said Ben and Klaus hissed at him before they both rolled their eyes at each other.

'You didn't take anything but you were looking for something, and you were looking in Pogo's room too,' said Diego now, 'I-I-I saw you coming out. You were quite sneaky I will give you that.'

Vanya looked away, not taking the compliment in that moment.

Allison continued, 'I heard you talk sometimes when you're in your room. You talk about dreams, and the first thing you do every morning after to wake up you pull this notebook and write something down.'

She looked over at Luther who nodded, 'We...we talked and we just think that...we would like you to tell us what is going on. Whatever it is, we want to know. We know we messed up with each other a lot of times, but you two look so serious all the time, like something is going to happen and if so we want to know.'

Vanya looked at Five, but he honestly was as lost as she must have felt. He didn't know what to do. Somehow telling the others might have proved some relief, but would it really? He didn't trust them. Not the way he trusted Vanya. He knew she believed him. She was Vanya. She was his Vanya. He could tell her anything and she would listen, that was why she was his favourite. The others were tricky. He knew he cared for them. They were family. They were weird and complicated and messy, god, they were so messy, but they were family. But he didn't trust them, not the way, he trusted _Vanya_.

'How about we say what we think is going on?' suggested Luther and Five looked at him again waiting for him to drop words like time travelling and apocalypse any second.

'We think Vanya has powers,' he said and the two of them blinked surprised.

Five didn't look at her but she saw how she looked over at him.

'What do you mean?' asked Five slowly trying not to give anything away. This was in no way what he expected to happen.

'Vanya has these dreams, and you guys talk about them all the time looking suspicious and secretive,' said Diego.

'And not in the sneaking around to makeout kind of way,' added Klaus earning himself a glare from Five.

They their processed to explain what they gathered so far from everything they witnessed and heard adding some things they never heard from Pogo or Reginald and not the two of them. Five felt a bit embarrassed to realize that he had fail to notice how sloppy he was with the whole secrecy of the issue. Even if their siblings didn't know the whole true, they were on to them.

Five looked over at Vanya at one point again as the other sat down on the floor or her desk or desk chair.

Vanya looked at him for a moment completely unreadable for him before she spoke, avoiding to look at anyone, shyly looking at her hands in her lap, 'I don't think the dreams...mean anything. When Five tried to time travelled and came back, he said a lot of things which must have just played with my mind and made me have dreams. Most of the times the dreams are meaningless just me doing things like walking to work, or typing on a typing machine. Sometimes I see you guys just doing the things you always do. They...they don't mean anything. They're dreams.'

'What about the ones like tonight? That didn't sound like anything boring,' said Allison determinate and a bit annoyed that Vanya was brushing their theory like that.

Vanya shrugged her shoulders sinking a little bit during the whole conversation. She wasn't used to people listening to her like this.

Five brushed her shoulder for some support, 'I don't know. I used to have nightmares that I was alone in the dark when I was a kid. It's why I was so scared when...' She paused not finishing her thought, but with how Allison's face softened, and she looked away ashamed, it was obvious she knew she was referring to the time, she forced her into a closet.

'But you sounded so scared,' said Ben, 'And the man?'

Vanya shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know him. He just said he wanted to keep me there. Maybe it was just something I got from the movie we watched that one time? Along came a spider I think?'

'Then why the secrecy?' asked Luther suspicious.

Vanya looked a bit away, 'I didn't think it was a secret...it's not like we talk about this stuff. Five and I are just...closer,' she admitted trying to sound casual even if her voice shook a bit and Five could see the faint blush rising from her neck as she mentioned that.

'Besides it's not like we all don't have secret among each other.'

'What about going into our rooms?' asked Klaus.

'Uh, there was a notebook. I write all the dreams into it, but someone took it. I asked Five for help and we were looking for it. I have a new one now, but I don't remember everything I wrote into the old one,' she quickly explained making it sound almost believable.

If that wasn't an Oscar worthy performance Five didn't know what was.

Their siblings didn't look too convinced, but seeing that Vanya wasn't giving anything away, and she was Vanya, who never lied to them before, they went to leave soon after. They still showed support which was something since they always made Vanya feel left out and uncared for, Five appreciated it as well. He felt like just for that he liked his siblings a bit more.

After they were gone, Five examined her sheets, 'They're all sweat through. Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?'

'Yes, please,' she said and nodded looking relieved he suggested it.

Five led her to his room and closed the door. They crawled into the bed in their usual matter. Since knowing their siblings could be listening, they didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about what happened for a while.

He wasn't sure if she was still awake, but he spoke anyway.

'Maybe this is your power,' he mumbled in hushed voices

'My power? I don't have a power,' said Vanya, 'I don't know what the dreams are, but they aren't a power. Because I'm...not like you.' She said avoiding the word ordinary which was good because he hated when she was presented with it. There wasn't anything ordinary about her. Not in his mind at least.

Five didn't let it go. She said they were just dreams for their siblings' sake. They weren't ready to think the end of the world was coming, but he knew he she didn't _really_ think that.

'Maybe you do. Maybe you can see the past time line. If the future already happened and I was there, but I time travelled back to the past, I erased the old time line and this now is a new one. Maybe you have the power to see the old time line, or future that will never happen because I am here now,' he told her as they were on their sides, with her arm under his own and over his side, as they usually did.

'No, it doesn't feel like a power...it feels like a memory,' she confessed, and he blinked at her in the dark, 'Wouldn't that be proof of my theory then?'

She sighed, 'You always have to be right, don't you?'

'I am always right,' he grinned at her before he heard her let out a small chuckle. Although he got use to the sound, he still found it precious. It was his favourite sound in the world, even if he wouldn't admit it.

'Let's just sleep on it. I'm tired, and feel bad for lying like that to them. It wasn't just keeping a secret. I actually lied to them,' she said, but he took her hand at that, 'Don't. We couldn't just tell them. They wouldn't get it, and if by some miracle the old man doesn't have the notebook and knows about the apocalypse, there is no way I want to spook him. Not with Luther reporting everything to him like a good son that he is.'

Vanya nodded, 'It still felt bad. I just...I love them, but I couldn't say it. With you it's simple because we both know it's true and believe it, but telling someone from the outside that there might be an apocalypse and that you're over sixty years old, but suffer from amnesia. It's just...'

'I know,' he said and leaned closer to her, 'What about tonight? Do you remember how the man looked? You didn't write it down.'

'I don't want to,' she confessed, 'I don't even want to think about it.'

'It could help,' he said lightly hoping he could convince her without pressuring her. He couldn't imagine how scary it must have been for her to dream of such thing. To be taken as hostage in the dark alone with some creepy man. He wished he could be there with her even if it was just a nightmare now the beat the fucker up. He prayed he was wrong about his theory in that moment, and that Vanya never actually experienced such a terrible thing.

He felt sick just thinking about it, let alone for her in some old time line having to go through it.

Vanya moved closer to him her forehead against his now. In the dark and when they were half way to sleep, it was easier to be close like this and not having to over think things, just touch and feel good to be close to each other.

'Can I tell you? Just you, and you will write it down for me?' she asked, 'I don't want to do it twice.'

He put his arm around her back pulling her closer to him, 'Whatever you need, alright?'

'Okay...,' she mumbled.

There was a momentary paused probably for her to get her thoughts straight before she started. She told him a horrifying tale straight out of a Stephen King's novel of her being in the dark basement. He took everything in feeling even more worried and protective of her than he ever had. She told him as much as she could her voice even in whispers shaking as she occasionally had to pause to compose herself.

He listened to her as carefully as he could make sure to get everything he needed to write it tomorrow. He couldn't do much about the nightmare, just write it down for her if she didn't have the strength to do it herself, and make fucking sure it wouldn't happen. Ever.

Once in the dead of the night, when Vanya's breathing was even, Five leaned closer and kissed her cheek, 'I promise I will protect you. You're safe with me.'

* * *

**Now**

Five rushed to Vanya's room feeling a bit lighter than before. She could stay. She could stay as long as she wanted to and most importantly the others didn't want her to leave either. He knew that some part of what his father said was true, otherwise it wouldn't be a good manipulation tactic, but not all of it. No, not all of it.

Maybe Vanya would have been better off without them, but he...he couldn't let it happen. He was a selfish brat, but he needed her with him, always. He just couldn't imagine not being with her, and he would do everything in his power to forbid it from happening.

He opened the door to her bedroom.

She was in her room just putting down the violin and bow into the case probably just finishing her late evening practice.

He jumped inside and hugged her from behind spinning her a bit without a single word. She was like a feather, which although he didn't think about it, his mind added to his brain memory for later. She was very light and skinny lately indeed.

'Five!' she let out a squeak before she giggled. He sat her down and spun around the smile still on his face and contagious as her own widened just by seeing his.

'What? Was the mission that fun?' she asked a bit confused, but he just shook his head feeling even more relieved now that he could see her and touch her, knowing she was here and she would stay.

He couldn't even find anything to say from how happy and excited he was in that moment, not even from her staying, or going to school, or him winning over their father for the first time ever, but simply by the fact that he got to see her smiling at him like that. That was all. Her smiling at him and looking ridiculously happy just because he was smiling at her, was all it took for him to feel like he was on top of the world. Screw shoulder pain or headaches, or father's who were pricks, and annoying flights. He was just happy in that moment.

He felt happier than he probably ever did, and a sudden thought came to him. He wanted to kiss her.

The thought was so surprising not because his eyes didn't often glance at her lips, or because he didn't spent nights and days thinking about doing so, or if it would feel the same or better than their first kiss. It was surprising in way how easy it came to him, and how he couldn't find a single reason then not to.

Usually, there was the other part of his brain, which stopped him telling him they couldn't just do that. Telling him someone would see him, or Vanya wouldn't approve or practically whatever idiotic reason it could come up with. He knew it wasn't real, all those doubts were just that. Doubts created by constantly being told nothing was for free in this world and that he couldn't imagine Vanya, adorable, sweet, caring Vanya who was so strong and bright could possibly want something more from him than companionship and friendship.

'What?' she asked her smile so bright and beautiful and her eyes so confused, but loving, and Five just thought _fuck it_.

He let his hands go to her waists and pulled her closer making her stumble a bit, but he held her close. Nothing could bring his mood down now.

She opened her mouth again, but stepped on her toes as if to meet him half way, as if she knew what he was about to do and wanted him to do it, and was allowing it, even wanting it to happen as well.

His lips touched hers for maybe a second feeling the softness and the spark which immediately ran through his body. It was pure perfections-

-and then all hell broke loose, in the sounds of gunshots coming from downstairs.

They jumped away from each other before Five looked at her, 'Stay here.'

He immediately closed her door and pushed her dresser against it before he teleported downstairs where he was met with his siblings fighting with some armed man in black firing shoots all around them.

He jumped into action knocking over the closest one before Allison, 'What the hell?'

'We don't know. They came through the front door a moment ago,' she shouted back before she kicked one in the stomach.

Five ducked as Luther throw one of the men to the wall almost through it. He focused on his task to take down as much men as he could while making sure he had his eyes open to see if any of them were heading upstairs before.

'That's enough!' shouted a woman suddenly and the entire room went still.

'Get off me!' snapped Vanya from the stairs as a man was keeping a hold on her while walking with her to the room.

'Hey, get your hands off her,' said Five feeling his heartbeat speeding up the first time since he started to fight. Fighting armed men in your living room, no problem. Seeing one man holding Vanya, big problem.

It took him a second to overcome his anger for the man and fear for Vanya to realize the whole room didn't just go still, it froze. The time stopped.

He looked at the woman again. White hair, black coat, a small hat and devilish scar on her face. He didn't need three guess to know who she was.

'Well, this is quite a mess, wouldn't you agree?' asked another man as he stepped over one of the armed man on the ground with Luther. This guy looked different, unlike the armed muscle power, he was wearing a suit and looked more like a office rat, than a fighter.

Five looked from the man who was holding Vanya, to the one who came. He saw the look of terror on her face as he walked closer to them followed with a woman with white hair.

'Let's just get this over with,' she barked before she grinned at him, 'Long time no see.'

'Let her go,' said Five frowning at them. It didn't take a genius to gather from Vanya's expression that this was the man from the kitchen all those years ago and woman from her dreams.

'I don't think so,' said the woman. It was clear from the way she was looking at him, with fury in her eyes, that she would be willing to hurt him and by that Vanya just to cause him pain. Something must have really made her angry at him.

The man, however, raised his hand before he nodded at the other man. Five spared them a look and saw him ease his hold on Vanya. He was only holding her elbow now. It still made Five feel like a lion in a cage. He didn't want any guy touching Vanya!

'What the hell do you want? Who are you?' he barked, and the woman said, 'Don't even bother pretending, Five. We know it's you. It took a while to find you. You had to be pretty clever to jump into the exact moment you first time travelled. Caused quite a problem for us, but don't worry we caught on to you eventually.'

'Now, now,' said the man seemingly not pleased with how the woman was handling the situation, 'I think we already caused enough problems with not following the protocol, don't you think?'

His words were light, but Five detected that there was a clear hierarchy set between the two, and the man was on the higher level.

He looked back at Five, 'You can call me the Fixer, Number Five. We just want to perform a little test on you.'

'Test?' he asked trying and failing to show his confusion.

'You see you met with our...agency in the past well your future and caused some problems for us,' started to explain the Fixer, 'Then you escaped to the past and well...we lost track of you. It is my understanding that you're not aware of who we are while some of us,' he purposely looked over at the woman, 'do not agree.'

He turned back to Five, with a small smile, 'It's a small test. I will just scan your brain. If it shows that you're not _our_ version of yourself we will leave in peace.'

Five frowned, 'And if it does?'

'I will politely ask you to come with us, and not harm your family. We have no business or interested in hurting them.'

'You have a funny way of showing that when you come to my house with armed men,' he said.

'Like I said, you caused a lot of problems for us in the past, number Five. It was meant to be precaution, but your brother threw a knife at one of the man.'

_Diego._

Well, it seemed likely that he would if he thought they were in danger and armed men at your doorstep didn't particularly show trustworthiness.

Five watched him for a moment weighting his options before he looked at Vanya, 'First let her go. Show some good will.'

The Fixer nodded at the other one who let Vanya go. She immediately rushed to Five who took her hand.

'May I?'

Five gave a short nod. He could see the plea in Vanya's eyes not to do it as she feared he really was the Five from the future who they were looking for, and they would take him if they found out.

The man stepped closer to him with a silver object not bigger than a lightener. He moved it closer to Five's head and scanned him with green light.

A moment had passed, then another, and another. Five felt as if everything around them was absolutely still and in silence. The only thing he could hold onto was Vanya's hand hoping it would somehow protect him from all of this. If the device told them the truth, and they would demand he would come for them. He would go. He couldn't risk them hurting Vanya or his other siblings. Since they went to her room, and she was the only other person besides him who wasn't frozen, it was obvious they knew what she meant to him.

_Gosh, was it really so obvious to everyone?_

The device let out a beep and the man almost nonchalantly looked at it, 'No divergent activity.'

'That is not possible!' snapped the woman and Five felt Vanya squeezed his hand. He squeezed her back looking at the man rather than the woman.

'What does it mean for us?'

'Nothing, sorry to disturb you. Have a good night,' he said causally. Five's eyes widened. He honestly couldn't be seriously. They came to their house, wrecked it, and now they would leave just like that?

'That is not possible! He tricked it!' said the woman clearly not having it. She tried to step closer to them. Five had this sudden urge to push Vanya behind him more, but the man already spread his arm creating a barrier between the woman and them.

'My dear Handler, let's not make this worse than it already is. We're here to follow protocol this time. The results came negative. This boy is not the man we are looking for,' he stepped closer and lowered his voice, but Five still caught it.

'Let's not embarrassed ourselves more than we already had, shall we?' he asked her and started to walk away.

The woman, Handler, whatever, looked at Five with pure hater in her eyes. This must have been very personal for her. Whatever he did in the future, he must have really pissed her off.

He was half expecting her to try and attack them, but in the next second the frown was pushed away from her face and she offered them the most sadistic smirk he ever saw. It made him sick to his stomach for some reason feeling his hair standing up, 'Enjoy your night, you two. You might not have so many left. Number Five, Vanya.'

He felt the girl shiver by his side before the Handler walked after the Fixer. Just like that all the frozen armed men started to stand up and walk after them.

Five pushed Vanya closer as they passed them. Some groaning in pain, others limping and one carrying the body Ben didn't completely torn apart. They all disappeared into a blue light before time seemed to run again and all their siblings unfroze as well gasping and confused about what happened.

_What the actual hell?_

* * *

Five helped Diego sat large antic chest of drawers in the living room. It had been about two hours after the attack. Everyone was shaken, they reported everything to their father, and then started to clean the mess up. It was way easier if the mess was somewhere outside, then in your own home.

'Hey, did you really throw a knife first at them?' asked Five at one point.

Number Two looked up momentary upset before he nodded, 'Yeah, I thought I saw one of the men turn his safety off, but maybe that was just the adrenaline. I don't know anymore.'

He sounded a bit down. Five understood why. If it was his fault this all could have been avoided. If someone would got hurt it wouldn't just be on Five, who they came for, it would also be on Diego, who started the fight.

'It was a stressful situation. You did what you assumed was right. No one got hurt,' said Five and he could see he surprised Diego by not being in his face about it.

'Thanks. I...thanks, Five,' he nodded at him.

Five returned the nod before he went to pick up another piece of fallen furniture. He kept on stealing glances at Vanya who was sweeping at the moment with Ben also looking his way from time to time. Both of them felt more shaken then the others knowing what they witnessed when the time spotted. So many questions. There was an agency who could do this. Stop time, come right into their house, and talk like it was nothing. They scanned him with a device he didn't even know what it was and then just left without anyone noticing. It was bizarre really. It made Five worried. Worried that someone had such power over the world, just coming and going and until now he wouldn't even know.

He was left confused now more than ever. He knew he time travelled and then forgot about, he had Vanya to assure him of all of that, but if it was true, why didn't the device pick up on that. Why didn't it recognize him?

He...he didn't know what to think. He wanted them to finally finish the cleaning and go to bed so he could talk with Vanya about it or maybe just think about it because he didn't know what was going on now.

They all were force to go to their rooms. All of them were still shaken. Klaus was telling something to Ben probably trying to ease his nerves and Luther and Allison were trying to steal glances at each other.

He went to his room and closed the door. He had to wait until everyone would be asleep or seemingly so now, but with what happened all his enthusiasm about his previous achievement had disappeared anyway.

Five sat down on the bed. He didn't feel like changing into his PJs yet. He just sat down on his bed and looked outside his window. With everything that happened, he almost completely forgot about another thing which did.

He kissed Vanya. Even if it was for a second maybe less, he kissed her in a moment of pure bliss and satisfaction from his victory over their father and seeing her after a mission and after he was worried about her.

His lips formed a smile at the memory. The kiss was...just perfect.

He made up his mind. He wanted to see her tonight, sleep with her in the bed, and be close to her. They needed to talk about what happened downstairs first and then about her starting to go to music school. They had time to discuss the kiss, but that was fine with him. They had time. They kissed, and they had time to talk it through, and they would. He would make sure of that they would because he wanted them to. In Five's mind there was no doubt about what he felt for Vanya. It took him a while to be able to form the feelings into something, but he got there. For such a quick study at almost everything else, he sure took his time to figure this out. But now he knew. He knew he cared for her and wanted to be with her, and for her to know. It didn't matter if it would happen tonight, tomorrow, or in a year. Five just knew they would get there. He just knew. That was all that matter right now.

He would wait a couple of minutes before he would go to her room. Just a few more. They had much to talk about. Despite everything he felt a bit glad about it all. Even if just a bit.

When he jumped to Vanya's room, he found her on the ground in front of her bed. She had her fingers in her hair looking like she was ready to pull it out.

Five eyes widened as he rushed to her side and put his hand on her back looking at the startled look on her face, 'Vanya? Vanya, what is it? What's wrong?'

She started to push her index finger against head on one particular spot. The whole room started to shake all of the sudden to Five's shock. What the hell was going on now?

Five was confused looking around them before she spoke again, 'F-Five.'

He looked at her and brushed her hair away, 'Vanya, what is it?'

'She...she made me kill myself.'

The glass somewhere in the house broke, 'She told me I would...destroy the world and I couldn't-I couldn't do that to you and I...I...I took a gun and killed myself.'

Five watched her in horror trying to get around what she was saying. Her window started to shook. There wasn't supposed to be a storm outside.

All of the sudden their father barged in.

'Step away from her!' he demanded before he rushed toward them. Five watched defenceless as their father put a needle to her neck before he could stop him. Not sure if he should given how hysterical she was trying to dig a hole in her head where she was supposed to have the bullet wound.

'Yeah, what the hell is that?' he demanded but the old man didn't even look at him.

Vanya suddenly collapsed against Five's chest and he pulled her closer away from their father, 'What did you do?'

The house stopped shaking just like that, and it looked like the storm had passed, 'Pick her up. We have to bring her to the bunker before her sedatives start to work.'

'What bunker?' demanded Five keeping her close. The whole thing. If felt all too familiar making Five's head hurt all of the sudden.

His father shot him a look, 'Pick her up, or do you wish me to ask Number One or one of your other siblings to do so?'

Five frowned at the man before he carefully put his hand free hand under Vanya's knees lifting her up. He didn't understand what was going on, but it was obvious their father knew it all too well.

He carried Vanya through the secret door, he remembered from when he was a child down through the elevator through the underground hallway toward the large metallic holding cell, 'You can put her inside.'

'No,' said Five immediately everything inside him rebelling against the idea of putting Vanya inside the dark cell even for a second. This was something which was not acceptable. Vanya was afraid of dark places all her life from nightmarish dream, which used to haunt her, now Five knew they weren't dreams, but memories, of her time, in this prison all alone, in the dark, forgotten by all of them.

Every instinct he was capable of having urging him to protectively pull her closer to his chest and not let her go. She was so light like a feather. Did she even eat anything?

'Number Five, this isn't a game,' said his father raising his voice, 'Do you have any idea what could happen? Number Seven is not in control, she could tear down the house possibly even the world with such an outburst.'

Five watched the man confused, 'What are you talking about? How could she?'

His father frowned, 'I gave you a direct order, number Five. This isn't your childish game. You wish for her to have a normal life? To go to a music school? This has to be done in order to achieve it.'

'And I told you no. I'm not putting her in _there_ ,' told him Five stubbornly. Like fucking hell, he was letting her out of his arms.

'Number Five, your sister is a very dangerous person right nwow. A treat to you, your family and this house. She has to be contained before she causes destruction.'

Five opened his mouth to ask him what the hell did he think Vanya could do when something clicked. It was like someone lightened up a room inside his brain. A room which was filled with shattering glass and shaking rooms, with Vanya's tantrums when she was a kid about oatmeal and broccoli, with broken windows, accidents, and nannies who disappeared and then with Vanya leaving for the secret door only to come back numb like she was reprogrammed, like she was suddenly someone else entirely.

He finally understood it all.

He looked down at her face. She looked so defenceless in that moment lying unconsciousness in his arms. She needed him now more than ever, and he couldn't let her down. He promised himself and her that he would always keep her safe.

_When you came back to made me promise to only take one pill, do you remember that?_

He looked over at his father, 'Vanya has powers.'

His father didn't deny it, but didn't confirm it. He didn't have to. Five already knew. She had dreams where she killed herself at the end of the world, to save it, to save him and all of them.

Five hiked her a bit as he momentarily felt she was slipping from his arms.

'Number Five,' his father said in a cold warning, but he didn't even flinch. He never thought much about their father, but right now he felt pure rage toward the man for all the horrors he put Vanya through.

He heard something shifted behind, and turned around seeing Pogo behind him with another needle.

Before his father could say one more word, or Pogo do whatever the hell he was planning with that needle, Five once again teleported with Vanya safely in his arms. It was his first successful jump with her since he got amnesia.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: So I hope you are still catching up with the past, present, future and timelines :D I know it's becoming a bit complicated. Thank you again for the amazing feedback. I am always happy to hear what you think of the story and the new ideas and where it is heading because not basically everything is possible since I have no canon to follow :( expressing my disappointment that I have to wait until 2020 for s02 :D
> 
> Either way, hope you will like this as well. I am grateful for feedback, but also for you guys at least reading this fic :) Again, happy Easter ya'll


	15. Chapter 15

**One Day Ago**

Waking up was sometimes a very strange thing for Vanya Hargreeves. Ever since she was younger she either woke up feeling even more tired than when she headed to bed, or not tired at all. There were times, she wasn't even sure she was waking up at all, those were usually the times when she added a pill to her daily dosage or her father had. Other times she woke up with Five's calm sleeping face on the pillow next to her or him already awake trying to get out of the bed without waking her up in the process, usually failing.

Sometimes, when he was still asleep after she woke up, she would just watch him. Maybe for a second or two before he would wake up, or maybe longer, but she would just watch Five's face. It made her feel warm and calm herself knowing he was... _there_.

Those few moments when he disappeared in front of her eyes, and she thought she would never see him again, were incredibly painful. If what happened in her dreams was true and in another timeline, he disappeared for good, seventeen years, she pain must have been unbearable. As she watched her life, or her _previous_ life, just a shallow nothing of a life really, it wasn't hard to believe it was true.

Without Five, with all her siblings giving up on her and pushing her away, she really could end up like that. It wasn't hard to believe at all. She needed Five. She needed him in her life to help her survive the day. She just...she couldn't explain it, and she knew it was making her weak, but if she didn't have time to talk with him or be close with him through a day that day was just not good. He made her feel...well _love_ , of course, but it wasn't even that it was just that he made her _feel_ like the world was brighter. It was like all around her the colours were greyish, almost washed up in the washing machine after being put there too many times, but when Five was around they didn't look like that. They looked real, _alive_. He made her feel like that. He made her feel alive in endless days of numbness and nothing, he made her feel.

Waking up today felt different. Usually if Five slept with her in the bed, her arm was resting nicely over his side while he had his own arm on top of it. It was a standard way they slept without movement all through the night.

Today was different. Today, even before Vanya opened her eyes she felt something warm and cosy against her back.

She didn't open her eyes. She knew it was Five based on his rhythmical breathing and his hand on top of hers as he was hugging her from behind. It was still...odd. They never slept like this, but somehow the fact that she felt so secured made her not open her eyes and stay cuddled against him until sleep took her again.

The next time she woke up, she knew Five was awake already. She sensed it in the way his breathing changed and how he was slowly drawing patterns on the back of her hand with his thumb while still holding her hand.

She opened her eyes realizing they were lying on the back seat of a car. Everything from last night came involuntarily back to her.

_I have powers._

He didn't have to tell her that much she gathered from the sensation inside her which burst out and caused the house to shook and the windows to break. She also remembered him telling her last night as he carried her before he laid her into the passenger's seat and drove off.

She couldn't move or speak, but she remembered all of it.

Vanya sighed before she rolled around Five moving his hand to help her not to fall as she buried herself against his chest, her eyes opened.

'Did it all happen?' she asked softly, her voice as small as she felt in that moment. She wished all of it was a dream, and she had still a few hours before she needed to wake up. She didn't feel ready at all for a new day at all even with Five by her side. She didn't feel ready.

Five nodded his hand firmly but smoothly on her back rubbing calming circles into it, 'Yes.'

She sighed and closed her eyes, 'What do we do now?'

'What do you want to do?' he asked, his voice calm and even.

'I don't know,' she said and then opened her eyes to look at him.

He didn't look tired or scared and she was infinitely grateful for it as she was feeling like she might as well jump out of her skin, 'I'm terrified.'

He offered her a soft look. Something he had reserved only for her, and she couldn't help a small blush every time he did.

'It's alright. You don't have to-'

'But I am,' she said raising her voice a bit before she shut her mouth covering it immediately with her hand. She didn't move a muscle and waited, but nothing happened.

Oh, right, father gave her some sedative. Maybe even something to numb her powers? Definitely something to numb her powers, but it didn't sound like such a terrible thing now as she felt her head stopped feeling like it would explode from all the sounds.

She looked up at Five again who let his hand lightly stroke her hair, 'Well, I'm not. So if you want, I'll be brave for the two of us in this.'

She sighed again before she pressed closer to him moving her hand away from her mouth.

Five hugged her closer pulling her as close to him as the backseat they were both lying on allowed.

Vanya closed her eyes, 'I feel like I'm going to wake up soon, and all of this will be a bad dream.'

'Is that what you would want?' he asked, his voice was flat, but she knew better, he was covering his emotions.

'Would you want not to know about the Commission, the future, your powers, all of it?' he asked and waited.

She thought about it. She tried to imagine what it was like to be thirteen right before Five ran away or even before when they were just two kids sleeping in the same bed. It was hard to remember the simple times in crisis like these.

She opened her eyes, 'Sometimes. I'm not brave like you.'

Oh the irony. All she ever wanted growing up were powers so she could be a part of the Umbrella Academy. She remembered praying for them, any kind, even something ridiculous and look at her now? She had the ability to end the world. She _did_ end the world and if the Handler lady wasn't lying, many times. She caused the apocalypse again and again...

Right now she would give anything not to have her powers. Literally anything.

He looked down at her again his gaze so intense, 'You're braver than you think, Vanya. You're braver than you show.'

She felt her heart speed up from the way he was looking at her. He was so close. Yesterday, right before the Commission came, he kissed her. She remembered that as well, and she remembered other things, her dreams. She remembered being in the bunker/cell whatever and talking with him about well their future in some cabin, and they kissed. She was an adult and he was thirteen only not really and they kissed then as well.

Five must have heard her heart by now with how loudly it was hitting her chest case.

Her eyes landed on his lips for a moment. With everything on their plate it should be the last thing on her mind, and yet, she wondered what would it be like if she just leaned higher and kiss him.

Before she could put more thought into it, she felt her stomach let out an annoying sound demanding food.

Embarrassed she closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest feeling him shake a bit from a soft laugher.

'Hungry?' he asked teasingly.

'Yes,' she said feeling hot in the face not just from her stomach but also because of wanting to kiss him again.

She looked up at him trying to look cross, he was making fun of her, but failing upon seeing him looking at her like _that_.

'Then let's go eat.'

They carefully sat up without hurting one another or falling from the backseat.

Vanya looked around realizing something, 'This isn't father's car.'

Five opened the door, 'No.'

She followed him outside, 'You stole a car?'

'Yes,' he said shrugging his shoulders before he smirked, 'Problem?'

Vanya watched him for a moment before she chuckled shaking her head, 'You're insane.'

'We need a quick means of transport. I couldn't just carry out a girl on foot. Solution? Car. Sir Reginald taught us how to drive when we were like twelve,' he reminded her.

'Taught _you_ how to driver,' she said and looked at the car and the parking lot Five had parked it. She noted there were no cameras. Good call. Then again Five wasn't an amateur, and he never did anything half way.

She sighed and looked around, 'So where to?'

Five looked at her for a moment before he smirked, 'Actually. How hungry are you _right now_?'

Vanya blinked, 'I guess not that much, why?'

'Let's just get something small now. I have an idea,' said and he smirked in that way which made her thrilled and scared all at once. She _loved_ that smirked.

* * *

Vanya looked over at Five, 'So on our first day as runaways. This is what you want to do? Watch me wreck some car?' she asked as she sat behind the wheel of a car Five stole.

'Honestly,' he said as he looked over at her from the passenger's seat, 'there is nothing I would want to see more,' he said.

They finished their hotdogs when Five took her back to the car and suggested to teach her how to drive. They were out in the open had almost too much time on their hands, and zero purpose. Seemed like the good time as any to do something rebelling and totally not appropriate in the situation.

'You're a bit insane, you know that?' she asked and raised her eyebrow as she tried to feel everything. She never sat in the driver's seat before. It felt a bit like it was too much of a responsibility all at once, but also a bit freeing.

He looked over at her with the serious face she ever saw, 'Just a bit isn't much.'

She grinned before she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, 'Okay, teach me.'

'Not yet, I want a kiss,' he said pressing his back against the seat and the car door on his side almost in a lazy manner.

She looked at him sure her face gave away everything which was going through her mind from shyness to embarrassment to thrill.

_Gosh, how could he-?_

_Just so-?_

_Just blur it out like that?_

Vanya rolled her eyes trying to act coyly even though she knew the pink on her cheeks must have gave her away, 'So it's blackmail?'

'More like mutually beneficial agreement,' he said earning a pinch into the elbow which he didn't block in time.

'Au! Vanya!'

'You were saying?' she asked sweetly and Five looked at her for a moment before he moved over.

Vanya blinked feeling a little bit shy as he sat closer to her almost pressing his face against hers if he moved even an inch closer.

He looked into her. His eyes were completely captivating as he stared into hers. How could this boy just be so beautiful? So...so freaking breathtaking? Like every time she thought she had the upper hand he did something like this and she was a shaking mess under his gaze just begging for his attention and affection like a dog.

'Check your mirrors first,' he said like the smartass that he was.

She felt her cheeks go red from embarrassment before she threw him an annoyed look, 'You're such a jerk-'

He kissed her before she could finish stealing her breath away as he buried his hand at the back of her neck and the hair there.

Just like that...he kissed her. Again. Just like _that_. Like this was something they did often, like it was not a big deal like...like he didn't know he was literally killing her when he did that? Like he was making her go all soft and her heart to speed up and just all those ridiculous feelings from a simple press of his lips against hers in an activity which lasted less than a second or two?

'Do I really need to spell it out for you?' he asked bring her back from her train of thoughts.

The words could be meant as something harsh, but with the soft look in his eyes and the almost shy pink on his own cheeks Vanya recognized his own insecurities.

Five...just so confident, and cocky and cold and just so full of himself, with his ego filling the whole room all that. It was easy to miss that he was in fact just a teenager too. He was just a person, a man, and he had fears and doubts and all of those things like anyone else. The boy, with the ability to do the impossible, the strategist and pragmatic always with a plan, but still a boy, still flawed, still scared of disappointment and failure as they all were. In a house where no one ever said _I love you_ how can you just say it?

Vanya thought briefly about the future Five, the one who just said _it_ even though he knew she couldn't say it back with the same meaning as he felt it for her future self. He just said it. But that Five only said it because he lost her, because he knew what it was like not to be able to say it. Neither her or Five from this time were experienced in such way and thank God for that.

She couldn't imagine going through that. She couldn't imagine _surviving_ that.

She let go of the wheel. Her hands found his cheeks softly covering them as she kissed him taking her time, lingering a second longer.

Once she leaned away and looked at him, she hoped she showed as much fondness and love as she felt for him.

'No, but don't expect me to say it either. You're going to have to say it first,' she smiled to herself, 'Earn it.'

She sort of didn't want him to say it. Not yet at least. Not until he well was ready. She knew he love her. She knew she loved him. That much she knew. For now...yes for now it was enough. Even if everything around them was shit, this was theirs, this was the one thing they knew and had. Each other and their love.

'Excuse me?'

She couldn't help a playful smirk to paint across her face, 'I won't say it first. _You_ will.'

Five watched her for a moment before he grinned in that fucking _hot_ way which always turned her knees into a puddle, 'Very well, so a game. You do realize I beat you every time in...well every game we ever played.'

'I'm feeling pretty confident,' she said and check the mirrors, 'You did kiss me first three times now.'

He rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling.

'Don't get cocky,' he said, and she made sure she had everything as she should have before she started the car, 'Too late.'

She felt ridiculous really.

_This_ should have been the last thing on her to do list. She had to stop the apocalypse, learn to control her powers, and somehow outsmart the commission in less than 13 years, and here she was on the same parking lot as this morning learning how to _drive_. It was ridiculous, and she seriously thought Five had gone mad when he stole the car again and brought them back here.

But here they were with him trying to teach her how to drive, and her enjoying every second of it trying to detach herself from everything else which was going on.

'Not bad,' he said after about almost three hours of her practising.

She looked over him and couldn't help a proud grin, 'Thanks.'

Maybe they could figure this out somehow. The driver but mostly the apocalypse. Yes, mostly the apocalypse.

* * *

Five pushed the door open for as they got into the dinner for lunch. It looked like a busy hour with lots of booths and tables full, but there were still a few empty. It was almost twelve, and they got hungry. So far they just decided to avoid places they might be recognized. Being dressed in casual clothing helped to blend in a bit.

It was better now that they were older, Vanya noticed not many people paid extra attention to two teens on the street.

She looked around at the family with kids wondering what the rest of their siblings were doing right now, and what did their father tell them about Five and her disappearing like that. She was worried. She was scared to think he was somehow blaming them or making them look for them.

She didn't want to go back, not yet at least. She didn't know what to do. Father wanted to lock her up like she was some animal. Sure, her powers were destructive, and she asked Luther in the future to lock her up, but that was her call to make. Not his.

She was lost in her thoughts when she hit Five's back.

'Sorry,' she mumbled before she blinked.

He was standing in the way.

_Why-?_

She stepped on her toes and looked over his shoulder. Five grew quite a bit since they were kids.

She didn't understand why his shoulders were so tense until she spotted the man with dark hair with his hand waving at them.

'That's the guy-'

'Yes, the Fixer,' mumbled Five even his voice carrying a serious and dangerous tone.

'Should we go over to him?' asked Vanya slowly. She still had a weird feeling from the guy. He and the woman who made her shot herself were the same. They worked for the Commission. But last night the man acted decent enough. He let her go and stand by Five as he checked his memories.

Vanya still wasn't sure how was it that the test had failed since Five really was the Five from the future, but it was a good thing it did. She doubted the woman would go so easily if it didn't.

'Five?' asked Vanya slowly before she felt him sigh, 'It's not a coincidence he's here now.'

She looked at the man as he lazily put his hand now. He wasn't smiling now, but he had the same polite look as yesterday.

Vanya still felt like her stomach was turning from the man, but she took Five's hand, 'Then we should go find out what he wants.'

Five spared her a single short glance before he nodded and they walked together hand in hand to the Fixer's booth, 'Have a seat, please.'

Five sat down first with Vanya as close to him as possible just as the waitress came and put down some pancakes and an omelette in front of them, 'Enjoy, dears.'

They looked over at her and then at the man who shrugged, 'I figured after last night events you might be a bit hungry and low on cash.'

Five and Vanya shared a look before he nodded at her knowing she was hungry since morning.

She very carefully took the plate while keeping her eyes on the man not eating yet. She didn't feel comfortable yet.

'So what is this?' asked Five, 'I thought you said you would leave in peace if I passed your test-'

'Let's not kid ourselves,' said the man calmly immediately getting to the point, 'You didn't pass. All three of us know you're the Five from the future. You don't have your previous memories, but you're him.'

'So what you want to drag me to the Commission for the sentence?' barked Five.

Vanya felt his hand on hers jerked a bit. He was trying very hard to keep himself in check.

'If I wanted that I would agree with the Handle, call your bluff, and drag you there last night,' said the man calmly while sipping his coffee.

'I don't use violence until it's absolute necessity. I find it quite barbaric. A smart person always knows how to end a conflict without violence,' he explained as he set the mug down.

'I came to...discuss your options. For now the Commission did not notice Vanya's little outburst, shall we call it, from last night?'

Vanya tensed now even more as he referred to her doing whatever the hell it was that she was doing, 'But you did.'

'Let's cut the chase, me and you and you,' he looked at Vanya, 'We're familiar or we will be in the future. That being set I own _you_ a certain favour.'

Vanya blinked confused.

Her? A favour?

'For what?'

'Let just say you saved someone very dear to me,' said the man for a second letting an emotion cross his face before it was gone and the reserved polite look was back.

'So you want to make sure Vanya does it again? Why not save the person yourself?' asked Five immediately.

'It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid. The Handler and I don't exactly get along and the Commission _loves_ leverages and things they can used against someone's advantage,' explained the man, 'Therefore, I cannot be around and do what needs to be done myself. Vanya, on the other hand, already did, and I believe she will again,' explained the man before he looked at her.

'However, what you did last night will cause _people_ and by that I mean the field agents to notice. If they notice that you used and know about your powers before 2019 they will try to take you to the future and start the apocalypse up front.'

'How do you know this?' asked Five, and the man sighed, 'Because they already did. In the past, well future, well different alternative timeline, it's hard to wrap one's mind around, but it happened.'

'So she wasn't lying,' said Vanya suddenly before she swallowed a bit.

'What?' asked Five with a frown, and she looked over at him, 'She said...when she convinced me to...,' Vanya tapped against her temple her hand shaking as was her voice, 'She said it wasn't the first time. She said that this happened all the time and that it always ended with me causing the apocalypse. _Always_.'

She looked at the man for confirmation. He watched her for a moment again something crossed his face before he said, 'To be completely honest with you, yes.'

Vanya let out a broken breath. She felt sick to her stomach as her fear was taking over. She caused the apocalypse. She caused it all the time, over and over again.

Five squeezed her hand, 'Hey, hey! Look at me.'

She shifted her eyes to his and tried to remember how to breath again, 'I'm here, alright? Just breath, okay?'

She nodded although it was more for his benefit then her own.

'But,' said the Fixer sudden causing her attention to fall back on him, 'every time, including this one, it's a new leaf for you. Right now, what's happening never happened before.'

'What do you mean?' asked Five, 'You said she already revealed her powers and they kidnapped her to the future-'

'Correct, but it wasn't last night. It was 2012,' said the man before he leaned closer, 'Right now. What is happening never happened before. You,' he pointed at Five, 'Never travelled back in time the way you did in this timeline. Right now, anything is possible if you play it right.'

'Play it right?' asked Five, 'How?'

'Well, if we're lucky someone might erased the little incident from last night, and if we're even more lucky someone might start training to control her powers a bit better,' he said and looked at Vanya.

'But-but, I remember we couldn't. I tried, but it felt like this unstoppable force and-'

'And you tried for what four days?' asked the man sarcastically, 'Look, _once_ just _once you_ got close. Very close. You stopped taking your pills the day Five runaway from the Commission, and you actually did control them enough to block them I suppose.'

'But I still destroyed the world,' said Vanya, and the man looked a bit unsure for once, 'No, uh, Five and some of your siblings got killed, and it worked like a trigger for you.'

Vanya looked at her hands, 'How will I even do it? How can I even like...train _this_ if the Commission knows everything?'

'They don't know everything. They know _enough_ , but they don't have cameras in your house. When you _shake_ a house and cause windows to break they notice, but if you would to train somewhere dark and without a noise, it could be manageable.'

'So what _you_ want to train her?' asked Five, she could see he was clenching his jaw with how upset he was.

'Jealous much? No, you will do it, if you're up for it,' said the man and smiled a bit at him almost daringly, 'But not the way you are now. As charming as being a sixteen year old boy is, you need more experience,' he said and pulled out a small case.

'What's that?'

'An injection of something I have cooked up in our labs. This should ease the memories which are currently being suppressed by the new timeline to you. You will remember the old one as well as the new ones,' said the Fixer, 'No brain damage as sigh effect. I'm very proud of it actually.'

'I-I thought Five lost those memories. They got erased to make room for new ones,' said Vanya eyeing the case confused.

'No, they were never _erased_ just pushed to the sub-conscious the way dreams can be, or unimportant details, or traumatic events.'

The last one got her to shiver again. Traumatic events. She remembered how Five, the old Five, looked when he came back, just so shallow and broke, she dread he would end up like that again. Like his whole world died after he watched her die.

'This will help me get them out? Won't that be too much for my brain?' asked Five sceptical and rightfully so.

'We already had test subject. There aren't side effects, it's just that it takes time. Once you inject yourself it might take a while before the memories will start coming back and even if they do they might seem a bit surreal to you, like a dream,' said the Fixer before he asked another one of the waitress for two more mugs for Five and Vanya.

She looked over at Five trying to determinate what he was thinking. This could be their key to many things. They wouldn't need the notebook if Five had his memories back.

Her eyes moved to the Fixer. She still felt hesitated about trusting the man. He looked almost _too_ good to be true.

'Why?' asked Five suddenly clearly reading her mind, 'I get whoever Vanya saves is important to you, but you are talking about stopping the apocalypse for good if Vanya could control her powers. You work for the Commission, you have a title and those soldier from last night listen to your every command so you must have a high rank there. Why go against all that? Vanya could save the person and still cause the apocalypse.'

The Fixer watched him for a moment as the waitress brought them their coffee.

'Let's just say that it is more complicated than _that_. Not everyone in the Commission wants an apocalypse. In fact many are sceptical about the future of the Commission if we cause it,' said the man, 'The point is, it's hard for the people with higher rank than my own to admit a mistake when they cause one. The apocalypse is just the last cry for help to fix things. But maybe it's not about fixing as much as about not breaking them in the first place,' explained the man without explaining anything at all.

'I believe that if Vanya doesn't cause the apocalypse by controlling her powers. The Commission will have to admit that it was a stupid idea to begin with and call it a day.'

'So it all comes down to me learning control or not,' said Vanya feeling a shiver run through her body, 'No pressure.'

The Fixer looked at her, 'The apocalypse happened many time, Vanya. And after that, there was nothing. Just...nothing. The history is a busy place, and we always had agents around to make sure it runs its course. Many started to speculate if we had enough agents as new anomalies kept on appearing and appearing. Some took the apocalypse as blessing. An end to the history which meant no more new anomalies, nowhere else to spread, to go, an end to the story.'

'Half of the journey is the end,' said Five suddenly looking the Fixer who smiled at him.

'But no story ends with everyone gone on April the 1st 2019 that's just...unacceptable, dull, a terrible end really. If the world is meant to end it should end on its own terms not because we pushed it toward our own ending. The first time? The absolutely first time it happened, it was an accident, which somehow convince someone in the Commission that it would be a perfect ending to the story. After that they just started to produce it over and over again to make it _feel_ like a right ending, but it's not.'

Vanya watched him for a moment taking it all in and sort her thoughts. It felt too much. Too overwhelming for someone like her. She was...she lived her life in the shadows of her family, their family name, the house. Even if she gave into Five compliments and praise, she was still just herself. Just a girl, an ordi-okay not ordinary, but she wasn't a member of the Academy. She wasn't a hero. She wasn't this big _whatever_ who would come and save the day from the evil organization, from herself, from her powers. She was just small girl.

In her thoughts she somehow came back to the moment in her cage right before the attack, before she shot herself, Five begged her to believe him, trust him that he could fix it, save the world, and she did. With all her heart, soul and being she trusted that Five _could_ do all that and save the day, but not her. She never trusted herself to do it, but she sort of did.

She shot herself and stopped the apocalypse. Sure, Five travelled back in time to her and maybe she travelled somehow spiritually with him or just gained an ability to see her previous timeline, but that one time she did stop the apocalypse even if by killing herself in the process.

'So you think that if I somehow magically learn control,' she started causing both males to look at her, 'The Commission won't trigger me somehow you said they did it once? What is stopping them-'

'The longest you learned was eight days,' said the Fixer, 'and even in those eight days you gained some control. If you start now, 13 years before the actual thing, I _know_ you will control it, and save the day.'

She felt Five squeeze her hand again making her look at him, 'Don't think for a moment that I'm buying what he's selling.'

From all the stress and intensity she chuckled humourlessly.

'But right now, we don't have a lot of options,' said Five, 'and he has a point,' he looked at the Fixer who smiled back at him even though Five's face was serious making him know he didn't trust him, 'If you learned to control them, it could only be used to our advantage.'

Vanya watched him for a moment before she nodded. He was right of course.

She looked at the man, 'What about the Umbrella Academy. They're looking for us and father knows-'

'I also have an idea about that,' said the Fixer calmly before he nodded at their food and coffee, 'Now, eat up kids, we got time for that.'

* * *

**Now**

Vanya crashed against Five's chest as they suddenly appeared on the street in the night with nothing but a few lights in the windows' on.

No one was around to see two teenagers and a man with a suitcase on the street.

'You sure we're no longer in the house,' said Five looking suspicious at their house. It looked quiet.

'Absolutely,' said the Fixer staring at it as well looking a bit lost in thoughts.

Vanya watched his profile for a bit thinking he had a very familiar face for some reason.

He noticed her stare and glance down at her, 'Well, all you need to do is get into your rooms now. It's the night after the attack. I think you just finished cleaning.'

He looked over at Five, 'Will you be able to get out of the house to the warehouse I arrange for you?'

Five nodded, 'Don't worry about it. I discussed some things with my father before we ran away. Since we didn't this time around, he will let us have days off.'

'Very well,' said the man before he took a step back, 'I believe you can get inside on your own?'

Five nodded shortly while the man turned to Vanya noting that she still must have looked worried, 'Try not to look so suspicious? I have faith in you to do it right this time.'

She wished he wouldn't say that. Even if she thought the man had hidden motives and was shady, she didn't like anyone having faith in her in _this_. Now when she was sure it would backfire at all of them soon.

She still nodded before she took Five's hand again.

He easily teleported them up to her room just as their mom called, 'Lights out, children.'

It was a battle in her stomach after just time travelled a few minutes ago, but she took a deep breath and put her hand on Five's shoulder for support.

'How's your neck?' asked Vanya a bit worried trying to think on something else than the second plate of food she definitely should have skipped.

She was referring to the needle he got with the serum.

Five touched the side of his neck, 'Didn't even feel it. And I'm starting to doubt it would work. No new memories or anything.'

'The Fixer said you would need some trigger or time, maybe after you sleep over it,' she said and brushed her shoulder as her stomach returned to normal.

'God, how do you do this? It's like... _urgh_ ,' she shook her head.

Five looked over at her and shrugged his shoulders, 'Practise. I don't notice it and get sick anymore. It's like ridding the rollercoaster for the millionth time. It gets dull.'

The girl took a deep breath again and sat down on her bed with a loud noise, 'I can't do this.'

'Why not? You already did,' he said and turned the lights out walking toward her before he sat down next to her.

'No, really, I can't. I'm...I'm not...I don't know,' she said shaking her head. She felt tired and very confused in the moment. She had no idea what to do. It was all too much for her.

Five pulled her into an embrace putting his chin on top of her head as she sank into him.

'I know it's too much,' he whispered, but in the dark and quiet of her room it sounded almost too loud.

She dug her fingers into his shirt.

She could feel the familiar sensation inside her again. The sedative have worn off and her powers were being awoken again. She could feel them crawling under her skin.

'I'm scared I will fail and do it again, and then...my other self who won't remember any of this will do it again and again and I-'

She felt him move his head and kiss her forehead. His kisses were so soft like she was something utterly fragile and delicate.

'You won't. _We_ won't.'

She closed her eyes for a moment trying to tune everything but him out. Trying to focus only on him with his face close to hers and his arms around her. It must have been the silence of the room, the house, but Vanya heard his heartbeat more profoundly than ever before.

She almost smiled. Five had a lovely heartbeat. It was a bit speeded up even when he was motionless. Even if he always looked calm and in place, he felt...he carried this feeling about him like he could move any second, charge at you almost predatorily. At least that was how she saw him. She knew he could be cold blooded, vicious and sharp, but not with her, yet she felt almost afraid sometimes. He wouldn't hurt her on purpose. She knew that much.

Vanya let her fingers run into his hair catching his attention to her face as she looked at him in the dark.

He would never hurt her, but he could. She loved him completely and at times it felt almost like it was too much. Just like now, if felt as if everything was crashing down on her and yet because he told her they would make it, she could feel herself believing him.

She could hear his heart beat speeding up, above the average as her fingers continued to stroke the back of his head digging almost a bit too sharply into his sculp. He didn't complain. He didn't tell her to stop.

Even in the dark his green eyes burnt bright.

His hand moved to her cheek slowly caressing it before he leaned down and kissed her softly. It was barely a kiss, just a peek, but she didn't let him far away and put her arms around his neck pulling him closer. She felt cold. She needed him to warm her up.

He pulled her closer causing her almost to sit on his lap as he deepened the second kiss moving his lips against hers before she let his tongue in. It felt nothing like those three kisses she got from him before. It felt intense, _alive_ just like him. It was movement and action just like everything she felt he was. She wondered for what it must feel like for him. She was as opposite to him as they come, so what did it feel like when they kissed like this? Or was he dominant enough to cover for the both of them.

She didn't know what possessed her, but she found herself nibbling down at his lower lip before she pulled it a bit between her teeth making them drag over it. Maybe she was a little bit wilder than she would like to admit.

She admitted and took pride in the soft groan he let out when she did that even if just for a second, because the next things she knew he had her in his arms pulling her into his lap urging the kisses.

Vanya felt that it was almost too much with the way he kept on pulling her closer while devouring her lips in feverish kisses. She felt her heart was ready to jump out of her chest any second and that couldn't be good.

Her hands pushed at his chest after a while as she panted. She was never good in holding her breath for too long.

Five kissed her cheek, then chin and then moved to her neck before he found a delicate spot there which caused her to let out the most obscene _sound_ she ever heard herself produce. Even when she was alone in her room discovering herself she never let out _that_ sound.

She felt his lips pulled into that devilish smirk of his against the spot, ' _Oh_ , this is new.'

'Shut up,' she said feeling embarrassed and hot. She tried to push away to calm herself down, but he grabbed the wrist of the hand which was pushing against him and brought it to his lips.

She swallowed as she saw him kiss her there softly again.

He was still smirking as he grabbed her waist and tried to tickle her all of the sudden. He was the most unpredictable person she knew at times.

'Shit! Don't, Five!' she snapped trying to keep her voice down as much as possible, 'Do you want the whole house to know you're here?'

He kissed her neck again making her breath hitched before he spoke, 'A part of me does.'

She pulled away from him enough to look at him before she shook her head fondly at him.

Five brushed her hair and face before he planted a tender kiss on her lips once more, 'We _will_ fix this. Together. Like always. Like everything.'

She watched him. She wanted to believe him. Maybe it was because she was young and hopeful and she didn't know the profound pain of losing him for so long, or the cruel experience her future self had to go through without him in the old time line, but she believed him.

'Just don't let me tear up the house,' she said trying to light up the mood, not sure how to handle more intensity in the last 24 hours than she already did.

'Same,' he said and she loved him even more for it.

She kissed him one more time before she looked at him, 'Stay the night?'

'Of course,' he said looking at her with such fondness she didn't move for a very long time just enjoying the moment alone with him in the dark before they finally went to sleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: I know, I know, I haven't posted for a while, but I got well a bit stuck with some parts here, and I wasn't sure how to really put them out there, so it might sound weird, and it is a bit shorter than what you are use to by now. I only have a couple of ideas to finish before the ending so I actually think I will very soon have the last chapter. Maybe 2-3 more chapters? I hope you liked it. Thank you for all the support and reading. If you want leave some feedback.


	16. Chapter 16

**Warning: Read at your own risk**

* * *

**13 years ago**

Four-year-old Number Five was in his bed patiently counting all the lamps and lights inside their house in his mind. It was his personal trick to make sure he wouldn't fall asleep. Even if the nanny suggested they try to count sheep if they had trouble sleeping, Number Five found it silly. What sheep? There were no sheep around. Should he have imagined a flock of sheep and counted them? It sounded stupid.

So he counted lamps making a personal game out of to see how many he would get knowing there were 78 in total. Counting came easy to him, but then again how could it not, when his own name was a number as well?

He was by the number forty when he heard the soft tap on his door.

Excited the little boy smiled at rushed out of bed only to find Number Seven and Number Six behind it with a wide smile before she whispered, 'Let's play.'

They did this almost every night. All of the sneaked out of their rooms and went to play hide and seek taking turns who was seeking based on their numbers.

He liked the game. It was fun, to try and find a new place to hide or find the others in time. They usually played until one of them was too tired to continue and started from the next number. They started with Number Four tonight and after he failed to find him and Number Six before the large clock in the main hallway showed their time was up, it was his turn.

Number Five found all of the other numbers in time like always. Sometimes that made One and Three upset but tonight they didn't complain. When Five came to their hallway with number Two the last he had found, they quietly talked with their shoulders pressed next to each other.

Two skipped ahead of him and sat down next to Four and Six.

'Where's Seven?'

'She said she heard something downstairs,' said Six and shrugged his shoulders, 'Are we playing another game?'

Klaus nodded, 'Okay.'

'I will find her,' said Five and went down the stairs wondering why she went downstairs in the first place. It could have been Pogo or Nanny or worse Father. If they were caught they would be in trouble. In four-year-old Five's opinion, she should be heading away from noises in the dark not toward them if they wanted to continue with their games.

He got down the stairs when he heard someone talking.

Fear crept in.

If Seven was caught she would be in trouble, but maybe if he went upstairs and told the others to go to beds they wouldn't be.

But if she really was caught she would get punished. He couldn't just leave her alone.

He looked up the stairs for a moment before he marched to the direction of the sound.

He couldn't just leave her alone. She was his wife. Four said it's a big deal when he was doing the ceremony, but then again. Four always acted like everything was a big deal, but he made it fun. They all laughed until the Nanny came asking what was going on and told them to stop with the nonsense.

Five didn't understand why she was so upset. She was the one who read them those fairytales about princes and princesses getting married and living happily ever after. Maybe she was just also afraid of father's wrath.

There was a clicking sound now, and he noticed that someone was running on and off the light on one of the lamps.

'Seven,' he whispered into the room. He could see someone was inside, but the person looked too small to be their father or the nanny.

Pogo?

The light goes on again, and Five finds some boy standing next to Seven all dirty.

He frowned at the boy. He didn't recognize him. He was wearing a uniform as they used to during the day, but he didn't know him.

He looked at Seven who smiled at him and then looked at the stranger still smiling. He didn't like him.

'That's Five, we're married and we're playing hide and seek but don't tell the nanny,' she explained to the strange boy. Five was confused and upset. He didn't know the boy and the nanny said they weren't allowed to talk to the strangers outside of the house or inside unless they were allowed.

'M-married?' asked the boy sounding strange. The same way Six sometimes sounded before he started to cry.

Five still wouldn't stop frowning at him. He didn't like him standing so close to Seven. Why was he standing so close to her and why was she smiling at him?

'Yes, she's my wife,' he said before he started to walk toward her. He took Seven's hand and tried to make her step away from the stranger he didn't trust or like.

'Who're you?' he asked and felt Seven pull at his hand as if telling him he should be nicer.

'James,' said the strange boy.

'What do you want?' he asked knowing it was rude, but he didn't care. He was annoyed by the boy. Why was he here and talking to her all alone? They weren't allowed to talk to strangers. He would get Seven in trouble. He didn't like the way he was looking at her and the way she was smiling at the boy.

Seven pulled at his hand, 'Don't be mean.'

He looked at her feeling a bit hurt that she was protecting the boy as if she was taking his side in whatever this was.

She patted his shoulder lightly to smooth his frown when the boy motioned for them to come closer.

He didn't want to, but Seven pulled his hand, and he couldn't deny her. They came close. The boy looked different up close. He was dirty all covered in dust and there was a bruise on his face. It looked nasty making Five grimaced. It looked ugly. He remembered how he fell down the stairs with Four when he wasn't paying attention. His knee had a bruise like that. It hurt a lot too. He felt a bit of compassion for the boy.

When he suddenly put his hands on each of their shoulders, Five blinked the anger leaving him.

The boy looked a bit sad now that he thought about it. Very sad.

'Take care of each other, okay?' he asked and got up. Of course, they would take care of each other. They always did.

Such a strange boy.

'Where are you going?' he found himself asking.

'To the future,' replied the boy with a sudden smirk before he disappeared in a flash of light causing both him and Seven to gasp.

'He's gone,' said Seven in awe and let go of his hand to look behind the couch.

He really was gone.

'What a strange boy,' said Five before he remembered the game and he and Seven returned upstairs. Surprisingly Six managed to find them all, but Five was a bit uninterested in the game now.

As he walked back to his room Seven followed him, 'Do you think he will come back?'

Five frowned and shrugged his shoulder feeling again upset that Seven was so interested in the boy. Once he was in his bed though he couldn't help but think about him.

'To the future.'

Four-year-old Five didn't understand what it meant to go to the future yet, or what the future meant at all. But the moment he closed his eyes and sleep took him away, he dreamed of disappearing in a flash of blue light and meeting the strange boy again.

When he woke up he didn't remember much, but he had a feeling that the place the boy disappeared was nice. It made him curious if he would go to that place one day as well.

* * *

**Now**

Five was coming back from the shower after the practice. Today was surprisingly not so bad if he dared to say it was light. Really light. He didn't understand what was up with the old man, and he didn't like it. Throughout the last few weeks, there was something like tension inside him which he couldn't shake. It was like something was approaching and Number Five couldn't do anything but stand by and wait for it to happen.

Unfortunately, Five was not a patient person. Not one bit. He was even worse at not knowing something even if he had to grow a bit used to it by now. Not knowing what happened in his past, not knowing where was the damn notebook, not knowing how to fully help Vanya train and all which she was capable of, not knowing if he could trust the Fixer, and not knowing if they would make it this time. There were many things he didn't know and it ate him up little by little every day.

Even after a year since the Fixer applied the serum which was supposed to help him remember, he couldn't. Five tried to give it time, and he tried even harder to trigger it, but with nothing to go by it seemed like it just didn't work altogether.

Still, sometimes, when Five was alone in the bathroom and he caught the sight of the scar on his side. The scar which he couldn't remember how he got, he couldn't help, but feel something. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, but sometimes it almost felt like he was inside a room, and he could hear noises and voices from behind a red door, but no matter how much he tried he could never unlock and open it.

For someone like Five, it was agonizingly frustrating bringing him closer every to the bridge of madness.

Five teleported to his room only to find Vanya already there sitting on his desk and looking over at his equations he had been working on before.

Luckily for him, there was always something that pulled him back safely to sanity.

Once Vanya heard him she looked up and smiled, 'Hi.'

He immediately was between her legs pulling her by her waists closer for a kiss.

She let out a lovely sound in delight before he broke the kiss. He might be suicidal from his frustration, but one look or touch from and he was the happiest person on earth. Funny how that worked.

'Gosh, I missed you.'

She giggled, 'It was two hours. Even less.'

'Still too long,' he said and kissed her lips again lingering a bit longer on the wonderful sensation.

Her arms found their way around his neck and they moved closer to one another as they kissed. Five enough the make out just fine, but the fact that he was between her legs with her center-right against his because of the table was proving to be too much.

He smirked against the last kiss which caused it to break.

Vanya brushed his hair, 'What?'

'Nothing, I'm just wondering if I could convince you to skip dinner with me today,' he said and shrugged his shoulders.

She rolled her eyes, 'And do what exactly?'

He leaned to her ear and whispered, 'Me.'

She giggled again and he lightly kissed her neck on the spot which made her always shiver, 'Or maybe I could you. I'm not picky.'

'Of course not,' she said the smile visible in her voice.

He kissed her again, his hands moving over her back lower until he places his hands under her ass and squeeze.

She undid his tie before he could even protest or stop her. Not that he wanted to. He even followed her suit and unbuttoned her shirt while she did his.

Both of them smirking at each other while their fingers worked feverishly before he captured her lips against pulling her as close as possible getting lost in the sensation of her lips and their bodies pressed together like this. It was easy to get lost in her. Her kisses were insane. They could start as soft and delicate as flower petals and then heated up to the point it was impossible for him to breath or control himself. By the way, she was returning his kisses almost biting at his lips as sucked them with her teeth it was obvious he wasn't the only one.

Five pushed her against his desk a bit moving his lips through her throat all the way to her chest above her bra. He started to cover it with open-mouthed kisses while Vanya let her fingers tug ever so slightly against his hair. He loved it when she did it.

They were both breathing a bit hard when all of a sudden Vanya pushed him away, 'Klaus is coming over.'

He blinked, 'Huh?'

Vanya already started to button up her shirt, 'Klaus!'

Five groaned and stepped away quickly trying to fix his tie, shirt, and jacket as well.

This house was so overcrowded sometimes. It was a fucking mansion with 43 bedrooms how could it be that there was always someone interrupting them?

'Jesus Christ, Geisterfrau, just leave me the hell alone!' heard Vanya and Five from the other side of the door.

'Klaus,' sighed Five and Vanya nodded just as the door opened and their mentioned brother stormed in, 'Fuck, you guys seen Ben?'

They shook their heads.

Five would have been perfectly fine if their brother just went his merry way, but Vanya always being the more caring sibling asked, 'What's wrong? Another ghost won't leave you alone?'

'Meine Geisterfrau,' he sighed in German. From an early age, they were forced to learn languages like French, Russian, Mandarin. After they learned a bit of German Klaus started to use words in conversations from time to time. He claimed he was accepting his heritage although Five was never certain he was from Germany anyway.

'Ghost?' asked Vanya. She was never allowed to learn but after every lesson, Five gave her his book and offered her a short briefing on what they learned.

Klaus nodded, 'A female ghost really keeps on stalking me like some madman telling me something bad is going to happen to Ben. She fucking won't shut up about it.'

Five and Vanya shared a quick worried look, 'Why would she say that?'

'No idea. Ghosts usually just want to tell me about their deaths or shit, but this woman just walks around and watches usually. But now she's like possessed or something. Ben is in danger. Ben is in danger. Don't let him go to Astrotech. The hell is Astrotech?'

Five blinked knowing this one, 'It's a technical facility downtown. They create equipment for NASA.' Oddly enough it was just a week ago that he first stumbled over the company while he was researching his new theory on how to time travel safely.

He didn't admit to that. He didn't tell Vanya that ever since the Fixer he started to look into time-traveling again. He wasn't planning to actually try it any time soon, but the Commission had their way of safe time traveling so it was possible. He just had to figure it out.

Instead, he said, 'The Company is rather small only seventy employees but they landed a huge contract last year and earned a good name in the business industry.'

That caused Klaus to pause before he glared at the woman, 'Geisterfrau, I swear to god shut the fuck up!'

'Can't you tell her to leave?' asked Five raising an eyebrow, 'I know you managed to make ghost leave you alone a few times over the last practices.'

Klaus looked at him the anger replaced with something else for a moment before he looked away, 'Right...well this one is a bit more annoying today. Anyway, it's fine. I will just find Ben so she knows he's cool, and she'll settle down like always.'

'Oh, so she's here a lot then?' asked Vanya interested.

Klaus shrugged his shoulders before he offered them both his cattish smile, 'Well, I won't hold you two any longer. Enjoy whatever it is that you were doing before.'

Five rolled his eyes as their brother left the room before he turned to Vanya who looked a bit embarrassed.

'Don't worry he's just teasing,' said Five and waved his head.

She smiled a bit before she let her finger reach for his tie and pull it a bit. The knot was all wrong. That was what must have given it away.

He sighed and pressed his forehead against hers as she worked on his tie. She was good with knots, 'Just a year maybe less if the old man pisses me off like that again.'

'He was just being himself. You're more stressed lately.'

Five nodded against her forehead before he leaned away, 'He's doing it on purpose. The missions are coming up surprisingly during the time which was supposed to be scheduled as our time off.'

Vanya went to his bed and sat down, 'Do you think he's doing it on purpose? Making sure we have no free time left? What could he gain from that?'

Five crossed his arms. It had been on his mind for a while lately, 'I think he suspects that you're using your powers.'

The way Vanya shivered was exactly the reason why Five had been hesitating to tell her about his suspicion in the first place. He didn't want to freak her out.

She looked down at her hands. Over the last year, they managed to pretty much create and perfect practice seasons for Vanya to train. They started slow, one pill and then half a pill to no pill one day before they would go to train on their days off which Five blackmailed Hargreeves for them. Since now the old man seemed to be even less interested in them than before he even made Vanya in charge of her pills again which surprised her and made Five more than worried he knew what they were doing.

To say that the beginnings were hard would be an understatement. Even though she was only using her powers in small doses during training since immediately after the training day she took a new pill, it was obvious her powers were capable of an apocalypse.

The old abandon warehouse the Fixer left them was perfect to contain them whenever she lost control, but it still got Five worried it would be too much for the building at times.

'You think he knows we're training my powers in the free time? That's why he gave me back the pills?' asked Vanya and Five nodded, 'I think that maybe since he sees progress and that you keep in check he doesn't want to lock you up.'

The yet was implied.

He saw how she hugged her own arms and rushed toward her kneeling in front of her, 'I won't let him. You know I won't.'

She offered him a sad smile. He could tell that she trusted him. He felt it with the way she looked at him when he suggested something new for her training, some improvement. She had all the trust and faith she could muster in him. But he also knew that she feared Hargreeves more than anything. That fear was in constant conflict with her faith in him. It wasn't the first time that he wondered if it wouldn't be better for all of them just to leave. Pack up now and get the hell out while they still could, while they were still alive before Hargreeves would figure out a way to break their ankles and keep them in the house forever.

He placed his hands gently on her knees, hiding them with his palms while keeping his gaze steady on her brown eyes, 'I would rather die than let someone hurt you. You know that.'

Her eyes widened before she put her own hands over his on her knees, 'Don't say that. Don't ever say that.'

Apparently, he wasn't always good at calming her down. So much for that.

'I wouldn't,' she started to say shaking her head, 'Five, I wouldn't survive if something happen…,' she was breathing a bit faster clearly shaken.

'Hey, come on, breath, alright?'

She took his face in her hands looking down at him with such intensity it was almost too much, 'Don't…don't die on me ever, understood?'

'That might be hard to keep what if I get kille-'

'Five!'

'Okay, sorry, I was trying to lighten it up,' he sighed enjoying the feeling of her hands on his face, 'I would never leave you behind. Is that enough?'

'No,' she said, and he had half the mind to tell her that she was being greedy and unreasonable before he sighed and said instead, 'I won't die on you. I will find a way to survive it.'

Vanya was looking into his eyes for quite some time probably making sure if he was telling the truth or just saying it to ease her mind. He knew she was aware he couldn't actually make a promise like that. Not really. No one could, but if she needed him to lie to her on the spot to comfort her, he would do it gladly.

She leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips before she leaned away some of the tension fading away with the kiss because she gave him one of her bossy looks, 'I will hold you up to that. God help you if you die on me.'

He couldn't help a small smirk, 'Yes, ma'am.'

She chuckled, and he kissed her again savoring the feeling of her lips and pushing her against the bed lightly. They slowly started to continue where they left off until they heard Grace's melodic voice reminding them of dinner.

Five groaned.

'Seriously. We need to get our own place for once,' he said as he broke the kiss and glared at the door. Not that he had anything against Grace but right now she really pushed his buttons.

Vanya giggled and brushed his hair a bit again, 'Maybe we could think up something for tomorrow.'

Five blinked, 'For tomorrow?'

It was clear she wanted to smile. It was pushing pretty hard at her lips but she held it back and tried to sound casual as she said, 'Well, you know.'

He felt her wrap a few of his hair against her fingers, 'If my professor for uncontrollable powers wouldn't be too opposed maybe we could take a break for a bit and do something else on our next training season. If my professor wouldn't mind too much that is.' It was true. He was taking it all pretty seriously when they were training. Never giving her or himself a break which limited their moments together only when they were in the house.

She looked away from his hair back to his face waiting.

He smirked and leaned closer, 'I think he wouldn't mind at all.'

He kissed her cheek while his hand ran all the way through her chest painfully slow and teasingly, 'I think you trained very hard, and I think you deserve a break the next time.'

Vanya let out a started noises when his hand ended up on her inner thigh all of the sudden slowly moving higher right under her skirt.

'Would you like that?' he asked knowing he had her until he felt her wrap a leg around him pulling him closer with a bit of a spark of mischief in her eyes. Now he was the one breathing a bit faster than normal as he felt her under him.

Before they could continue, however, Vanya once again sighed, 'Luther is coming over.'

'Motherfucker, this house is a nightmare,' said Five and jumped away from her just as Luther opened the door to find an upset Five with his back to him and a slightly looking annoyed Vanya with her arms crossed over her chest looking at him.

The hostile energy in the room must have surprised Number One because it took him a moment to finally say what he came to, 'Dinner is ready, you two. Dad's eating with us today.'

That caused them to share a quick look before they started to head to the door.

* * *

**13 years ago**

Five woke up to the soft tapping on his door. He was asleep tonight. It had been a while since they last played hide and seek. Dad found out about it, and he got upset. They weren't allowed to play anymore. They tried to sneak out a couple of times, but Pogo or the Nanny always caught them and made them go back to bed.

The door then opened and Seven came inside. She looked a bit sad, 'Can I sleep here?'

'What about Pogo?'

'I heard him leave. Please, I promise I will be quiet.'

He nodded, and she hurried to his bed under the covers.

'Do you hear what the Nanny is doing?' he asked after a moment of silence. It was like Number Seven always heard everyone in the house. No matter how far they were, she could always hear them. It was why she was the best in hide and seeks before they were told they couldn't play anymore.

'She's asleep. She was praying earlier again. She does that a lot,' mumbled Seven into the dark.

'Is anyone else up?' he asked.

Seven was quiet for a moment probably listening before she said, 'Dad is up.'

'What's he doing?'

'I don't know…just writing I think,' she said but it didn't sound convinced before she yawned loudly.

'Let's go to sleep,' he told her and she nuzzled closer to him. It caused him to feel warm with her next to him, but it wasn't unpleased. It felt nice.

However the next moment she let out a displeased sigh, 'Pogo went to my room.'

She sat up and waited until the door to Five's room opened and sure enough Pogo was standing in the doorway.

'Number Seven. Again?' he asked in a hushed voice sounding a bit tired.

She shrugged her shoulder and climbed down from the bed and whispered back at him, 'I just thought Five was having bad dreams.'

'You always say that, when I find you here. Come now,' he said and motioned for her.

Seven turned to Five and lightly brushed his hair.

'Careful, or you will wake him up, Number Seven.'

She jumped out of the bed and walked toward him taking his hand.

Five didn't move through the whole scene and waited until the door shut again. He wondered if Seven did this often then. Came to his room while he was asleep and lied next to him so he wouldn't have bad dreams. Strange. He didn't think he had bad dreams.

* * *

**Now**

The scene by the table wasn't any different today as it was every time their father decided to join their meals. Everyone was pretty much consumed by their own thing. Unless they were somehow interrupting the dinner, the old man didn't care.

Five was finishing his food with the thought of what he and Vanya might do tomorrow already running wild in his mind. One would think that with the time they spent together and all those kisses and touches they shared so far he would somehow have gotten used to them, but it was the other way around really. It was as if with every single day he was growing more obsessed and addicted to her presence and touch. He would like to think they had a pretty solid relationship even before. He wasn't ashamed to admit she was his best friend. She understood him on a level no one else had or tried to and brought so much happiness and comfort into his life in this fucking house it was hard to imagine, how dreadful it would have been if she wasn't here with him. Or with him at all. Because it wouldn't matter if he was living somewhere else a nice good life if she wasn't with him. He didn't want to imagine any of that anyway.

Everything was going pretty ordinary before there was a sound of something hitting a glass cup causing an echo through the room.

Five immediately caught the way Vanya jerked next to him.

Five looked over at her. She swallowed a bit and pushed her hair in front of her ear. Since she started neglecting the dosage of her pills and she only took half of a pill today she was pretty open to hearing almost everything in a 5 km radius if she concentrated enough. It was one of the handy aspects of her powers because she easily pointed out of someone was coming. It was unreliable how many close calls they had. Their siblings had zero boundaries.

Five waited until she offered him a small nod that she was fine. It didn't last long because suddenly there was another sound the same as before ringing through the room.

Both of them looked around the table only to find Hargreeves looking back at them. Five frowned at him, but when he lowered his gaze he realized, he wasn't the one making the sound.

Another sound of something hitting the glass cup and Five's eyes shifted over to the direction it was coming from.

_Luther_

The boy wasn't looking at any of them. He had his eyes fixed on the glass with the small spoon in his hand waving it a bit in the air before he once again hit the glass causing Vanya to jerk next to him.

Five looked back at her only to see her having to shut her eyes painfully while crushing her own spoon in her hand.

He reached out and touched her knee hoping to offer her some comfort before he looked back at Hargreeves and Luther. The old man showed nothing, but Five doubted he would. Luther was purposely looking at the glass so Five had no idea if he realized what he was doing or not and if Hargreeves asked him to do it or not.

Another ring and Vanya stood up so quickly she threw over the chair behind her.

Everyone looked over at her now including Luther. Five noted he looked confused more than anything.

'May I be excused?' asked Vanya. Her face was hot with embarrassment.

'What is the reason for that, Number Seven?' asked the old man, and Vanya hesitated before she admitted, 'I don't feel very well.'

Hargreeves watched her for a moment. The others started to share looks no one sure what was going to happen before he spoke, 'Sit down, Number Seven.'

She looked over at Five who shook his head before he turned to his father, 'She's not feeling well. Let her leave.'

The old man picked up his fork and continued to eat ignoring him completely. Five felt like cursing.

Vanya looked at Five again not sure what to do before she picked up her chair from the ground and sit down on it again.

A moment had passed, and it looked to be alright before once again that sound rang through the room causing Vanya jerk only this time some of the glasses on the table shook when she did so.

'Sorry,' mumbled Ben suddenly and everyone looked over at him, 'I got startled and kicked the table.'

Five blinked suspiciously for a moment before Luther hit the glass again with his spoon, and he heard Diego curse, 'Will you stop with that noise already? No wonder Vanya feels sick I'm getting a damn headache over here.'

The whole table went silent, but Diego didn't look at anyone just kept frowning at his plate.

Finally, Luther put the spoon down, and Five could feel the relief which rushed through Vanya's body next to his.

He looked over at the old man, but he wasn't looking at any of them instead of his gaze had shifted to Number Six for some reason. Five was almost sure he was going to ask him something, but then Hargreeves unceremonially stood up which forced all of them to do the same before he left the table.

Five couldn't help but watch him leave feeling like something dreadful was about to come their way from that man. Something they couldn't prepare for no matter how hard they would try.

* * *

Close to bedtime, Five caught Luther alone and in the bathroom brushing his teeth, 'Did dad ask you to do that thing today at dinner?'

Luther stopped brushed and looked at him before he looked away, 'I don't know what you mean.'

'I mean the symphony form hell you were producing with your spoon, Luther. What the hell was that? Did dad ask you?' he asked his brother who wouldn't look at him just kept his eyes on the mirror.

Five frowned not being happy about being ignored twice today and moved in front of Luther and the mirror.

'The hell Five-'

'Did dad tell you-'

'Yes, alright? Yeah, he told me to do it at dinner,' said Luther and rolled his eyes before he went to clean his face since Five was still blocking the sink.

'Why? Because of Vanya?'

Luther blinked now looking confused at him, 'Vanya? No, at least I don't think so. I thought he was mostly looking at Ben.'

Five took the piece of information in. Sure Luther was an idiot, but he was observant enough. They all had to be. So it wasn't just him who noticed he was looking at Ben afterward. The question was why did he want to annoy Ben with sound?

* * *

Once he teleported to Vanya's room later that night, he immediately asked, 'Was it you today at the dinner?'

Vanya was already dressed. Shame.

She sighed, 'I don't know. It was just so loud and annoying. I couldn't help it. I almost wanted to break Luther's glass just to make it stop. I think I could have. It seemed easier since the noise was so loud.'

This was something which they figured out during the earlier stages of her training. The louder sound something was producing the easier it was for Vanya to concentrate on it and break it.

'But I knew that would be opposite of what we're trying to do,' she said, and he nodded before he looked unsure again.

'Still, why would Ben take the fall?' asked Five thinking out loud. It was good to think out loud with Vanya, it helped him get to a conclusion. He also found her observation the most valid from their siblings helping him construct theories.

Vanya shrugged, 'It was hard to stay still. I could feel that power inside me it was gathering like before, so maybe I accidentally let a little bit out. Or maybe it was Ben who just kicked against the table.'

'Hargreeves looked suspicious of us when Luther started but at the end, he wouldn't stop looking at Ben,' said Five and brushed his hair a bit thinking about it all. Something was there. They just didn't see it.

Vanya stepped closer to him, 'What do you think it means?'

'I don't know yet,' said Five, 'Did you notice if Ben was acting different lately?'

She looked to the side thinking about something, 'Maybe. Well not different, but he looked down a couple of days ago. I tried to ask him, but it was like a few moments passed before he said he was fine just tired. I don't know. He looked a bit more tired lately. Maybe he wasn't sleeping too well.'

Her forehead wrinkled with worry, 'Do you think something's wrong with him?'

'I don't know,' he confessed, 'Maybe it's just Klaus's crazy ghost getting to me.'

'That got me worried too. Why would some random ghost worry about Ben of all people? Do you think maybe she was somehow haunting him? Maybe that was why he was acting so strange. He couldn't see her, but feel her around?'

'Klaus said people don't feel the presence of ghosts. Not really at least. That's why all oracles and such are a con-artist.'

Vanya was silent for a moment, 'Well, that's a sad thought. You just die and walk around without being able to communicate with anyone or show them you are there unless you by some luck stumble upon our Klaus.'

He put his hands on her back brushing her there a bit, 'What keeps bringing this up?'

'I don't know. I read Poe the other day.'

'Stick to something happier next time like Austen?'

'If you think Austen is happier you're reading it wrong,' said Vanya immediately, and he could sense the offensive mode she was putting herself into.

'It has a happy ending every time,' argued Five.

She smiled a bit and gently stroke his face, 'Let's not get into that again. I doubt father will fix my window again.'

'It was your own fault. You threw a book at me,' he reminded her.

Vanya gave him a look and stepped away, 'I threw the book to you.'

'Yeah, with speed and while I wasn't looking,' clarified Five, and she rolled her eyes, 'You could have caught it.'

'Caught it?' he asked almost offended, 'Woman, I barely managed to dodged it. Caught it she said,' he shook his head and at her before the both of them smiled again.

'Maybe, we need a day off, a real day off. No training or worrying and scheming about the Commission and the Fixer just a day off.'

He took the hand on his face and kissed her palm, 'I can't wait already.'

* * *

By that time Vanya had 57 dreams. They still came and went without her being able to actually know when they would appear. Sometimes it happened after a long conversation about the Commission and the events Five couldn't recall other times it was absolutely random.

When Five felt her jerk in his arms her body all tense and sweaty, he went into autopilot. Most of the dreams were dull just random activities. Others were worse. So much worse.

With time he learned what to do whenever she would get a bad dream and not be ready to wake up yet.

He easily rolled her so her back was against his chest and cuddled her from behind making sure he kept from trashing too much, but also giving her enough room to breath and see that she was in her room if she opened her eyes.

'It's okay, it's me. I'm here, Vanya,' he lowered his voice enough for her to hear him, and he continued to repeat calming words to her.

She was breathing hard, but after a while, he heard her nod her head against the pillow. Since he figured out how to handle it, it never has taken too long for her to calm down.

'Can I let you go?' he asked, and she nodded.

He sat up and opened the window for her, moving her so she would sit up as well and looked outside.

Five teleported to her door and turned on the lights which momentarily blinded the both of them before he jumped to the kitchen for a glass of water and a wet cloth before he was back in her room his left hand brushing her back while he set everything on the window frame.

'You with me?' he asked her then.

She nodded and pressed her back along with the entire weight of her body against his chest. He didn't mind. He wanted to help her as much as he could. She was also very light so her whole body weight was nothing.

After a while, Vanya took the glass and drank it whole.

'Easy.'

She set it back down and took the cloth, 'I knocked over the books.'

Five looked at her little bookshelf and realized she was right. There were books all over the ground. He didn't even hear that.

'No one is outside, so no one heard it,' he assured her, and Vanya nodded, 'Good.'

There was a moment of silence before Five spoke.

'Will you tell me?'

Vanya reached out for his hand, and he quickly gave it to her.

'Ben died.'

Five froze a bit at that.

Her voice shook as she spoke, 'Ben died. He…there was a mission. In Astrotech. I don't know what happened, I wasn't allowed to know. I was in my room the whole time, and then the others returned and Klaus was crying so much I couldn't hear what he was saying, and I kept asking and asking and Diego told me to shut the hell up. Then dad came and he said…he said Ben died during a mission.'

She turned around to look at him, 'Five. I think Klaus's ghost is right. Ben died. I don't know how but everyone was so sad and they kept on blaming each other, and it was horrible.'

He brushed her sweaty hair, 'Calm down, okay. Just breath a bit.'

She nodded before she spoke, 'I noticed it before. I noticed that in my dreams after a while I didn't see Ben. Sometimes I met with Luther or Klaus. I called with Allison from time to time, and even saw Diego on the street once or twice, but not Ben. Never Ben.'

The realization sunk into both of them.

Five looked out of the window, 'Do you know anything? About the mission? You said the others blame each other?'

Vanya shook her head, 'It was like always an alarm went off. Everyone went to get ready. It was the morning I think. I remember we had pancakes, and we were eating in the kitchen. '

Five nodded urging her to continue.

'The alarm went off everyone went to get ready. Ben…I think it took Ben a while to get out of the table.'

'Why?'

'I don't know. Dad snapped at him if he was deaf. He looked lost in thoughts. He left afterward,' she continued, 'I finished eating and went upstairs. Time went past by but it was almost none and the others were not back yet. Then they showed up. Luther and Diego had to help Klaus walk. He was in bad shape.'

'High?'

Vanya nodded, 'Yeah, worse than I ever saw him. I don't know if that happened before the mission or after. But at breakfast, he looked fine.'

'Okay, what's next?'

'Klaus and Allison were crying. Klaus said…,' she looked away, 'He asked where were you? Like I was supposed to be there. I don't know. I kept on asking what happened and where was Ben and Diego told me to shut up and then Luther told him not to talk to me like that and that what good would it do if I was there? Diego then said that it was all Luther's fault that if he didn't push him so hard. Then Diego let go of Klaus who fell to the ground because he full-on charged at Luther shoving him and asking him if it was worth. Allison tried to rumor them, but-but,' tears started to fall down Vanya's cheeks, 'But she couldn't stop crying and finish the command.'

Five pulled her into his arms maybe to hide his own tears which he for a moment felt like he might have before he forced himself to be strong for her, 'Take your time.'

She nodded against his chest her hands gripping his pajamas and pulling him closer. It took her a few deep breaths but she managed to continue, 'Then dad came he ordered everyone to their rooms that they would be asked for a report one by one. He locked us in so we couldn't get out. Mom brought dinner later to my room.'

Five kissed the top of her head taking it all in. Could it be connected to the ghost telling Klaus that Ben was in danger and Vanya dreaming about his death that never happened?

'We have to tell Ben,' she said suddenly and pushed away from Five to look at him.

'I won't take any chances. Maybe we could talk to Klaus about the ghost?'

Five nodded, 'Alright although he might not be too happy with us waking him up.'

Vanya shook her head, 'He's not home. I can't hear him.'

'You can recognize his breathing now?' he asked skeptically.

'More like his snoring. It's getting worse. He might want to try not sleeping on his back,' as unlikely as it seemed Five chuckled at that before he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, 'Alright, do you want to go see Ben? Would that make you feel better?'

She nodded and after a while, they got out of the bed. Slowly walking to Ben's room.

Five knocked lightly on the door, but there was no answer.

'I think…he's asleep,' said Vanya hesitating.

Five blinked, 'Something wrong?'

'His breathing is a bit different…I don't know,' she shook her head, 'Maybe I'm just tired from…the nightmare.'

Five didn't look convince and neither was she, 'Don't let anyone see you.'

He teleported into Ben's room pausing a bit as the cold hit his body. His window was opened.

'Ben?' he whispered in case he really was asleep.

'Hey, Ben?' he asked again, but there was no sound or movement coming from his bed. He was asleep after all.

Five went to the window and closed it. It was too cold to be sleeping with an opened one anyway.

He teleported back to the hallways and he and Vanya returned to her room, if for the briefest moment, Five thought he heard Ben's window crack open, he blamed it on his imagination.

* * *

The next morning they tried to get a hold of Ben, but he managed to avoid them successfully until breakfast.

'What do you think?' asked Vanya now worried just as much as Five felt. Could it be that something was wrong with their brother, and they didn't notice before? That may be only Klaus's ghost did? If so how long has it been going on?

They needed to get him and talk to him as soon as possible.

'God, damn it, just leave me alone already!' snapped Klaus all of a sudden his fist colliding with the table startling half of them.

'The hell man?' asked Diego annoyed as Klaus pointed at something or maybe someone and shouted, 'I fucking wish for you to leave me alone already!'

There was absolute silence after that before Klaus stormed out from the table and rushed away from the kitchen upstairs.

'Is everything alright?' asked Grace with her calm look. She wasn't smiling, but it still looked too happy about the situation.

'Everything's fine, Mom. He's just being dramatic,' said Allison and continued to eat.

Five quickly leaned over to Vanya, 'Maybe go try to talk to Klaus now. I will try to talk to Ben.'

She nodded and got up.

'Thank you for the breakfast, Mom,' called Vanya as head rushed upstairs.

Five's gaze returned back to Ben who blinked confused and turned to Klaus's spot. He was already plotting how to get him to talk with him when the alarm went off signaling a new mission.

Five cursed. He guessed it would have to wait. They all got from the table no one noticing Grace put more pancakes on the table.

* * *

Five's fingers nervously drummed against his knee. He was looking at Ben as they drove in the car to the location of their new mission. They had a very short briefing about someone robbing a company in town with the hostages inside. The police couldn't get involved so they were sending in the Academy. They were all told what to do so it shouldn't be too much of a problem if they stick to it.

He turned his face to Ben who was sitting by the window, 'Are you alright?'

There was a very long pause before he saw Ben nod ever so slightly.

Five clenched his jaw in frustration. He wasn't alright.

'Listen, is something wrong? You've been acting weird.'

He noticed Allison turned toward them probably catching on to what he was saying.

Ben didn't answer.

Screw it!

Five went to grab a hold of his shoulder to yank him to face him at least when Ben all of the sudden caught his wrist before it would make contact with it, 'Don't touch me.'

'Then tell me what's wrong?' asked Five pulling his wrist free from the hold and frowning at his brother.

'Nothing,' mumbled Ben quietly and distantly his eyes almost empty.

'Don't lie. You haven't been yourself lately. Were you really asleep yesterday?' demanded Five.

Ben turned to him with a frown, 'Did Klaus put you up to this?'

Five blinked, 'Klaus?'

'Tell him and his ghost girlfriend to leave me alone. I'm fine.'

'What's going on?' asked Luther clearly upset that there was something he didn't know about as the leader. Luckily or unluckily the car stopped at their destination, and all five of them got out of it.

Just then a second car stopped and Five recognized Klaus and to his shock Vanya sitting in the backseat.

He rushed toward it, 'What the-?'

'Number Five have you forgotten the goal of your mission? To free the hostages and stop the robbers? Or do you need me to draw you a full-on picture in sequences to know what to do?' asked Hargreeves through an open window while Vanya was holding onto Klaus who was clearly high out of his mind. So much for him being any use today.

'No,' he said a bit annoyed that he talked to him like this in public when he caught the intense stare Vanya was throwing at him.

She then pointed somewhere behind him. Five´s gaze followed where she was pointing at and he froze in place at the large sign on top of one of the buildings. Mainly the one which was surrounded by police officers.

Astrotech

He turned back to Vanya with a quick look knowing he didn't have much time.

'Stay in the car!' he called at her hoping she would listen.

Five teleported toward the others who were already on their way inside as they planned before.

'Where's Ben and Luther?' he asked looking at his other two siblings.

'They went ahead,' said Diego and Five cursed under his breath trying to hurry.

'Stop!' he teleported in front of Ben blocking his way, 'You can't go there.'

'The hell has gotten into you Five?' asked Luther trying to push him away from Ben.

Five glared at him, 'No, I'm serious. Something bad will happen-'

'What?' asked Luther confused.

'Klaus's ghost friend kept on saying something bad will happen to him if he goes there,' he said breaking free from Luther's hold.

Allison and Diego managed to reach them pausing at why they were standing there. They were all inside the building now.

'The hell?' asked Diego confused and upset about being left out.

'Vanya had a dream, alright?' admitted Five knowing this would leave to possible more problems in the future, but he didn't care. They needed to protect Ben, and they were losing them.

'What?' asked Allison annoyed, 'You said her dreams were just dreams.'

Five groaned, 'They are…we don't know really.'

Allison let out groaned before she stepped closer toward him. All her frustration finally getting the better of her with him and Vanya, 'I heard a rumor you told us what's going on right now.'

Five felt the command run through him before found himself saying, 'Vanya had a dream about Ben dying last night in Astrotech. Her dreams appear to be somehow linked to the old timeline which was erased or didn't happen yet because I time-traveled to the future and came back.'

His sister blinked confused, 'That makes even less sense than before.'

'Ben will die how?' asked Allison worried.

'She didn't see that. No one told her. Just that you all came from the mission late and you,' he looked back at Luther, 'and Diego got into a fight about how you pushed Ben too far. Did you say anything to him?' he asked noting immediately how Luther's face went pale.

'What did you say?' asked Diego taking a step closer his voice with a dangerous edge.

Luther kept on opening and closing his mouth for a moment before he admitted trying to appear less guilty, 'He said he wanted to go home like he always did, and I said that if we finished quickly we could go home faster. That's all I swear.'

'Yeah, right. Like less time you pressured Klaus into going up that stupid ladder,' said Diego pointing at him accusingly.

'He would have been fine if he wasn't playing on it like on a monkey bar-'

'Enough!' snapped Allison just they heard people screaming and running their way.

Luther grabbed one of the men in a white coat as a dozen of hostages ran around them to the main exit, 'What happened?'

'The boy with the octopus started to fight the robbers,' said the man panic clear from his eyes.

Five looked around noting that Ben was gone.

'Shit.'

He teleported closer and started to run to the direction the hostages came from crashing into one of the robbers before he got him down in the process. Just as he got him to the ground another one open fired at him, and he barely teleported in time.

This might take a while. The rest joined quickly taking down a few of the men who came from the other hallway.

'They're in lab 6a,' shouted Allison while she kicked down one of the men.

Five quickly checked the plan of the building on the wall before he rushed to lab 6 having to fight his way through several robbers. They appeared to be highly trained and with decent guns. Not your average bank robbers. These people knew what they were after and they played dirty to get it.

It seemed that there was an endless amount of them, and as Five finally teleported back to the lab he realized he was using too much of his powers. He wouldn't have enough teleportations left now.

'Ben!' he called at his brother as he watched him grab the nearby attacker and throw him somewhere behind one of the working tables.

'Behind you!' called Diego before a man fell down from behind Five with a knife to his back.

'You're welcome,' said the boy, but Five ignored it looking at Ben as the others got into the lab as well immediately fighting off the robbers there. How many exactly were there?

He dodged another guy sending him to the ground when he heard to his absolute horror someone call his name, 'Five! FIVE!'

_Vanya_

Five groaned at her when he saw her there running from the broken glass door of the lab toward him, 'I told you to stay in the car! What the hell are you doing?!'

He put his hands on her shoulder and turned around to make sure no one got close to them. He wanted to get her out now.

She shook her head, 'Five, Klaus said-'

'Get back in the car!' he snapped at her pushing her back toward the door the heat of the fight and danger of the situation getting to him.

'But Klaus-'

'VANYA!' he snapped at her and shoved her back to the door looking behind himself to make sure they weren't in the line of a shot of anyone.

'BEN WILL LOSE CONTROL OVER HIS POWERS!' she shouted, and Five finally turned back to her confused and shocked, 'What did you just say?'

In the next second, they heard Diego call Ben's name and then there was a shot fired.

Five pressed his entire body against Vanya's protecting her in case the shot was at her, but also turned back to the others only to find one of Ben's tentacles crushing a man while Ben fell to his knees his ear bleeding out.

'He got shot,' said Vanya in Five's arms trying to break free clearly in shock.

He pulled her closer for a moment before he let go, 'Get out of here.'

'No!'

'Go!' He snapped at her but she shook her head.

He cursed and grabbed her again, 'This isn't a joke.'

'I'm not leaving we have to help him.'

'I will!'

'Five.'

Damn it she was impossible sometimes.

He crashed his lips against hers in the heat of the moment before he shoved her away from him, 'GO!'

It was a matter of seconds Ben's eyes suddenly went golden white and all hell broke loss.

Five wanted to teleport Vanya outside but in a second even faster than he was the tentacles spread to every direction separating the two of them and throwing Five to the ground.

It knocked the air out of him for a few seconds, but he found his way back up hearing the distinguished sound of a broken pipe letting out steam like a whistle in the lab. That couldn't be good.

He groaned and got up noticing Vanya lying on her stomach almost by one of the pillars all across the room. He tried to get up feeling his ribs cracking under the movement. They were broken for sure.

His first instinct was to teleport toward her, but it was at that moment that he realized that he had one teleportation left before he would have to take his several hours' break. Everything inside his body and soul screamed at him to go get her out of there, and he almost listened. Almost. He would have done the first and then last for her, but he couldn't leave the others, and he couldn't leave Ben like that. She would be the first one to tell him as much.

He looked over at Ben who had his eyes still glowing and the tentacles which were moving around hitting pipes and pillars breaking them in the process.

Luther and Diego tried to get close, but the tentacles either knocked them out or they were forced to retreat. It was too dangerous for them to get close.

They wouldn't get close. Not on their own. Not with the tentacles defending themselves.

He looked back at Vanya.

_Please be okay._

In the next moment, Five teleported in front of Ben the tentacle spread so it didn't catch him, but he felt the rush of air from the way it was coming back to get him.

Five didn't waste time and punched Ben into the face with all his force.

It worked and Five saw the tentacles retreating to their original place under Ben's mission suit, and Ben's eyes shut again. He was about to fall so Five went to grab him and protect his head from the fall, but in the next moment the large explosion blew up the roof causing all of it to fall down them like a punishment of gods.

* * *

It felt weird.

It felt like he sort of lost touch in his fingers like if he was holding onto a bar too long and his fingers got numb, only he felt it all over his body. It was weird. He felt so strange like he was empty all around himself. Shallow. His body felt strange. He felt strange.

Five blinked and looked around. It was dusty all around him. He couldn't see anything only distantly some police cars and maybe sirens. What was it?

Then it hit him.

The building collapsed!

He went to move but found himself standing in place. He couldn't move or maybe he could. His legs didn't seem to move even if he found himself making a step. He felt like he got somehow detached from his legs and his fingers, and his arms and maybe his whole body too.

It collapsed on top of me...

He remembered now. He used up all his jumps and Vanya and Ben...

_Vanya and Ben!_

His heart...was silent.

Five blinked and looked down at his chest. His heart wasn't beating fast now...In fact, it wasn't beating at all.

That didn't matter now. He needed to find Vanya. She was on the ground unconscious when the roof fell. She could have been crushed. He needed to find her now!

He felt something, but it wasn't his usual level of panic whenever he thought she was in danger. It felt strange without a beating heart but he tried not to dwell on it. He needed to find her. He needed to find his Vanya.

_Please be safe. Please be alive. Please, Vanya…_

'Five, what did you do?' he heard a soft female voice to his side and looked over there.

There was a short woman with brown hair looking at him with such sadness it caused him to look away from her brown eyes and focus on some other part of her.

He blinked noticing the blood in her hair and the wound on the side of her head. She was hurt. She was also dusty so she must have been inside when the building collapsed, but how? The only ones around were the Umbrella Academy and the robbers. The staff was evacuated. She didn't look like a criminal. Maybe one of the workers got left behind.

It was then that Five had a thought...no, not a thought, a memory, or a flash of a memory.

He saw the woman in front of him but instead of this tragic look which was enough to break his heart on her face, in the memory, she was smiling and her eyes shining with a spark of happiness. Her whole posture spoke hopeful and relieved. It suited her more. She should always look happy like that. His brain got swallowed by the memory of her standing in front of him like that in some darkish room.

' _So you would wait eight years?'_

Oh, she was teasing. He could hear it inside her voice. She was teasing him shamelessly and playfully and he loved every second of it when she did that.

Number Five suddenly felt something like a massive wave coming his way in his mind. A wave full of memories and emotions he must have been surprising for years ready to knock him out completely with those first words.

' _I would wait forever for you.'_

Then every single memory he lost when he first time-traveled to the destroyed 2019 came rushing back. If his heart was still beating it would have stop and then break apart from remembering all the painful things until the very last. From the survival in the post-apocalypse world all on his own, to the almost de-humanizing him in the Commission until he heard that gunshot which broke him completely in every way.

' _Vanya…,'_ he said the woman's name, now remembering everything. Every painful mistake he ever made up until this one. Most likely his last one ever.

He closed his eyes before he fell down to his knees.

'What have we done?' he asked the dead woman who gave him a painful look before she was on her knees in front of him her hand on his face, but he couldn't feel her. He couldn't' feel her touch. Apparently, not even death was peaceful. Afterlife could be cruel as well. He felt his last pieces of sanity sleep away. He almost started to laugh like a maniac as his fingers found his hair. He wanted to pull it all out.

He lost it. He finally lost all there was. He lost everything he had.

'A tragedy, Five. Just like we always do.'

_Maybe in another universe, we could be happy._

_But not in this one._

_No, not in this one._

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: One person wrote to me last week that they fell in love with the ship because they found this story after they watched TAU and that's like the biggest praise in my life so I was very excited and doubtful about this chapter.
> 
> Feel free to hate me. Thank you for reading if you like and are not too shocked you can leave a comment. Thank you for reading and support of the story and Fiveya in general.


	17. Chapter 17

**17 years into the future - the old timeline**

Everything happened too fast and yet incredibly slow. That was at least how Vanya would look at it. Dad's funeral, Five's return, her making the first chair, her kidnapping, her powers, the ambush, the kiss, the shot, her death. It all felt too rushed. In the eight days until the apocalypse, Vanya experienced more than she did in the seventeen years Five was gone. And even if it was breaking her not-beating-anymore heart to watch him hold her body in his arms, she was grateful. She was glad for every second, every single moment she got to spend with him. Every touch, and smile and word, she would hold onto it forever even if only in the afterlife whatever that turned out to be.

It was strange to feel this way. She felt so empty, numb beyond anything she experienced with her pills, and yet she still could feel her love for Five, and her care for her siblings, she still felt the pain of what she just lost.

_Isn't the life cruel?_

All her life she wanted powers. Powers that would make her belong to the Umbrella Academy, the mansion, among her siblings. She craved and prayed for it all her life feeling pathetic at her own wish. Once she finally got them, she wished for nothing more than for them to be taken away.

As for Five? How many nights did she fall asleep because she exhausted herself with crying? How many meals did she spend absently looking over at his seat only to know he wasn't there? Only to know he would never be there? She spent wishing and praying he would come home, she left the light on and sandwiches on the floor and table and counter and everywhere she could think up trying to lure him back. And now that he was finally home she ripped herself from his life in the most horrible way imaginable, a suicide.

She remembered all those times her siblings and Five got hurt. All those times she thought they would die. When Klaus oded on drugs? When Ben died...

She looked over at her dead brother who was shaking his head in disapproval, 'You broke his heart.'

'I…I broke mine too,' she said.

Death should be peaceful, but there was nothing peaceful about the way she took the gun and pressed it against her head and pulled the trigger. There was nothing peaceful about Klaus's desperate screams or Allison's cries or Luther's silence or Diego trying to talk to Five.

There was nothing peaceful about the way she felt either. She wished the shallow feeling of her body would take away the pay but looking down at Five she found it impossible.

He was about to time travel. Would he save her? Would he change it all? Fix it? Fix her? Stop the apocalypse for good? She had no doubt. He was Five. Number Five. He managed to time travel, and survive on his own in the future. He managed to join an assassination organization and came back home. She had no doubt he would find a way to avert this.

'I love you,' she whispered as she put her hand on Five's shoulder. She wished she told him that sooner. When they were kids? When he came home? When he first came to her apartment? She wished she told him sooner, and more often.

If she could cry, she would. She would cry because at that moment Vanya Hargrevees wanted nothing more than to have that one single moment, a second really to be able to say one last time to him loud and clear I love you.

'Ben? I'm touching him,' she said when she realized it, she was feeling the solid bone, and flesh and muscle, and fabric of his clothing under her touch.

'What?' she heard Ben ask confused taking a step closer to her.

'I'm touching hi-'

Then she suddenly felt something warm and a flash of blue light swallowed her along with Five.

* * *

**26 years ago**

If Vanya could still feel her body she was sure she would be throwing up now. If teleporting was like getting yourself pulled into a keyhole and pushed to the other side, what the hell was time-traveling? Pushing yourself through the eye on the needle?

She didn't understand how could Five enjoy it.

'Time-travelling sucks,' she said before she covered her mouth and looked over at Five who was coughing on the ground the jump too much for him.

Right. He couldn't exactly hear her when she was a ghost. Ghosts couldn't just talk to people. Well, they could talk to Klaus, but not like with people who couldn't see them. At least, she didn't think they could.

She crawled toward him and put her hands against his back only to feel...nothing.

She blinked and tried to touch him on the head or the shoulder, but the sensation from before was gone.

'No, no, no, no!' she said and stood up looking around. But she felt him. She felt him. She couldn't feel Ben, but she did feel Five, so why couldn't she feel him now?

_Because you're dead_.

She looked at Five as he was shaking his head his fingers digging into the carpet under them.

She was dead. She killed herself. She was dead, and Five time-traveled to save her.

Vanya turned around not having the strength to look at how devastated he looked. It was too painful even if the pain felt different given that she was hollow inside.

As she turned around she spotted someone in the doorway.

It looked like a little girl.

She looked around. The lounge. They were inside their mansion but it looked different. She looked back at the girl. If there was a kid and they time traveled that could only mean...

'Who're you?' asked her past self.

Vanya couldn't look away from her. This was her! This was her past self standing in front of her in her nightgown looking at Five who was in his thirteen-year-old body.

She didn't remember that. That didn't happen, right? No, it didn't. Five time-traveled which meant now he was creating a new timeline, but shouldn't she disappear? How could she be here when he went back he had to change the future, so she should be gone, right? Wasn't that how it worked?

Maybe basing your knowledge of movies wasn't the smartest idea.

'You're creating a new time-line,' she said and turned to Five only to find him looking shocked and in awe at her little past self.

She couldn't help a fond smile as well, 'Already smitten?' She would have giggled at her own ridiculous thought.

' _Vanya_ ,' he said and the little girl titled her head smiling a bit.

She was surprised when she found her younger self walking toward Five casually with little worry that there was a stranger in her house.

'Hi,' he said softly. It pained Vanya in a place which should have been empty now that his voice sounded do devastated and weak.

The little girl smiled at him before she rose her little hand and touched his cheek right under where he had a bruise.

Apparently, all Vanyas wanted to comfort Five past or future.

'Are you hurt?' she asked in a hushed voice looking at the bruise. She looked curious, but also caring, 'Nanny says we have to say if we're hurt.'

'No,' he said and shook his head and whispered back at her, 'I'm...alright.'

Vanya didn't remember if she was always this caring. If she always hated when her siblings got her. She didn't remember a lot before her father pushed pills down her throat and Allison's rumor through her ear. Maybes she was like this, a carefree and caring child who liked to wander around the house in the night.

Why was she up in the middle of the night though? Did she use to have bad dreams or insomnia as a child?

Her little past self skipped to the lamp next to him as she started to turn it on and off.

Vanya looked at Five again, he looked so broken looking at her. She wished she could tell him, he didn't have to be, that it was her choice and even if she was sad about, she knew he would figure out a way for them to be together and happy, even if not with her.

That caused her to pause. Was that what would happen?

She looked at her past self. Right now, Five could literally change any time-line, and the Vanya he would meet there wouldn't be her. It would be a different version of her, but not her. She wouldn't have her memories and maybe wouldn't even have her experiences or past. She would still fall in love with Five. Given the past eight days, it was the only thing Vanya was absolutely sure about.

No matter the time past, present or future, she would always fall hopelessly in love with Number Five.

'Seven,' she heard another whisper come from the doorway. Vanya blinked and her eyes widened as her past self turned on the lamp again and the light revealed a little boy in the doorway.

'Holy shit!' she couldn't help but scream before she covered her mouth with her again only to roll her eyes. She was dead! They couldn't hear her.

Vanya walked closer to the little boy and kneeled down looking at him astonished and absolutely adoring how cute and tiny he was.

'Five,' she said feeling if it was even possible happier than she did since she died or how long has passed since Five jumped them here.

'Five, you're so _smol,_ ' she tried to touch his hair before she stopped and put her hand away remembering she wouldn't feel anything or touch him.

'This will take a while to get used to,' she mumbled before she stepped a bit away as her younger self who smiled at younger Number Five before she turned to older Five and pointed at his younger self, 'That's Five, we're married and we're playing hide and seek but don't tell the nanny.'

Vanya's eyes widen again, 'We're what? I mean you're what-?'

She knew she lost a bunch of her childhood memories, but she never remembered that.

'M-married?' repeated Five the word slowly apparently this came as a shock to him as well.

Little Seven nodded and gave him a smile while younger Five continued to frown at him, but he didn't look embarrassed by it either.

'Yes, she's my wife,' he said and nodded as if he was making a point.

With all that happened Vanya could only chuckle. Maybe she didn't shot herself maybe she lost her mind? Maybe it was all a dream? Five came back looking thirteen, they made out in a secret bunker in the basement, she shot herself, traveled through time, met her baby self and Five's baby self who said that they were married and acted like it was no big deal but at the same time an important fact. Maybe, this was a dream. She then, however, realized even in her most creative moment, she could never produce such wild dreams.

'Okay,' he said and Vanya watched as his younger self started to walk toward them frowning at him before he took Vanya's hand and tried to make her step away from him, 'Who're you?'

She couldn't help but smile at how suspicious and protective he was.

'Looks, like some things, never change,' she said looking at Five even if she knew he couldn't hear her.

'James,' he said and Vanya blinked. She knew he probably just picked it up randomly, but at the same time she couldn't help, but think why did she pick it up that day when Leonard first showed up. Could it have been that she remembered it from the time she was four? But there wasn't a thirteen year old looking Five who came to visit. This was a new timeline.

She shook her head and brushed her hair a bit trying not to spiral. She knew she didn't understand time-traveling enough to get to the bottom of it. Not to mention Five never time-traveled like this. She just picked the name because it was the first one she could think of.

'What do you want?' asked his younger self clearly not happy about her little self having a new friend. Vanya found it a bit amusing. She could definitely see Five reacting this way even now when Leonard came to her apartment. She had no doubt he must have stayed somewhere close to make sure he would leave after the lesson and Vanya would be alright. She used to doubt Five cared, now she knew that was maybe the only thing she could never doubt, well that and that she loved him.

Little Seven pulled at his younger self's hand, 'Don't be mean.'

Vanya suddenly heard someone slowly walking toward them from the other room.

She grew anxious. What if it was Pogo or the nanny?

Vanya walked out of the lounge and went to the main hallway. It was dark, and maybe if she didn't remember she was a ghost she would feel a bit frightening. Did the house always look like a horror house from some gothic novel?

She paused once she finally spotted a man standing by the stairs. He was tallish with black hair and dark eyes wearing a suit and to her absolute shock a briefcase.

She saw one just like that with the Handler and since she knew there were no strangers allowed in the house, she immediately guessed who the man was or at least who he was working for.

He didn't see her. Of course, he didn't, he was alive and she was a ghost.

He was just standing there in the hallway looking to the lounge through the open door, even if it was night, her child self turned on the lamp and of course, in the silence of the night, it was clear to hear someone talking.

She started to walk backward before she finally got to the room only to catch the blue light which swallowed Five and then disappeared.

'No!' she gasped looking around before she rushed to the spot where Five just vanished, nearly colliding with her kid self forgetting she was a ghost and couldn't collide with anyone.

'No, no, no, no!' she started to look around feeling something close to panic but it felt different with her stomach not being in a knot and her heart not beating.

She looked over at the younger Five who was frowning at the spot Five had disappeared as she realized she really was left as a ghost in 1993-ish, she couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time the idea of time traveling ever crossed Five's mind.

She went back to the hallways, but the man from the Commission was gone. Did he go to report that Five was in the past? Was that his purpose to be her? Did he watch her? Was she supervised by the Commission to make sure she fulfilled her task to end the world? That was a chilly thought. Suddenly even though she was a ghost Vanya felt very paranoid that someone could see her.

With nothing else to do Vanya followed the kids upstairs only to let out a sob as she saw all of her siblings so young and small. It was probably the first and only time she was ever taller than them, and in the bizarre situation, she was left it made her smile.

She tried to wave at Klaus, but the boy looked too distracted by Diego whispering something into his ear making him laugh.

She tried to recall the first time, Klaus started to see ghosts but it was like she couldn't tell which parts were memories and which was just her own imagination trying to fill in places.

They all went to bed and Vanya was left alone in the hallway. Somehow it reminded her of the time, she was a child. Always on the outside from the Umbrella Academy. Apparently, it didn't use to be that way. She seemed more than involved with Allison taking her hand and the two of them skipping for a while and Five touching her cheek before he went to his own room. Before her powers got in the way, before dad pushed her to the side, she used to be a part of the family. She used to be a part of her siblings, and she couldn't help but envy her younger self. She looked very happy. She looked happier than Vanya ever remember feeling...that was probably the whole tragedy of her life.

It was night, and Vanya had a hell of a day, but she didn't feel tired. She didn't feel anything of the human needs. She missed Five, but at the same time the shock of his leaving vanished, and she didn't feel anything about it. Was this what it meant to be a ghost? The recognition that there is nothing you can do about things so you just carry on? But what should she do now? Do ghosts just walk around all the time? That couldn't be right. It would have been crowded here if that was the case, also she would see others when she saw Ben like dad or the nannies she briefly remembered, maybe someone's parents?

She looked around.

What should she do now? She was a ghost stuck in the past haunting her family's home now? What could she do? Should she wait until Klaus learned his powers and try to tell him about the apocalypse? He was four, there were still a few good years before she could put any of those heavy things on him. But what was she supposed to do until then? Hang around, and watch them sleep?

With absolutely no clue what to do now, Vanya sat down against the wall in the hallway and waited until the morning sun thinking about all those things she lost by pulling that trigger. Suddenly her brilliant heroic idea didn't feel so right at all. It felt like a mistake. She wondered if all people who commit suicide feel like it was a mistake.

She pulled her legs to her chest and hugged them. Even if it was selfish, she wished Five, her Five, was here with her. That was they could be lonely together. She really did not think this suicide thing through. But maybe people never do? She was only a ghost of a couple of hours but she already missed it. The touch, the feeling of her body working, being alive.

_There is no peace in death just emptiness._

Vanya wasn't sure how many hours passed but after a while, she heard a soft voice of one of her brothers coming from one of the rooms.

'No, I said go away,' she heard Klaus whisper as he was lying under the covers.

'I didn't want to do it! I didn't want to do it! Edgar believe me! I didn't want to do it! It was a mistake!'

As she got into the room, she found an elderly looking woman standing in front of Klaus's bed with a large open wound on her back.

'Edgar, it was a mistake!' she kept on repeating.

'Please, I want to sleep, please,' whispered Klaus from under the covers without peaking up, 'I will tell nanny if you don't leave.'

'I didn't want-'

'Hey!' called out Vanya suddenly the ghost ignored her continuing to mumble to herself.

Vanya bit the inside of her cheek before she gathered some courage and walked to the ghost. She wasn't sure how to actually deal with other ghosts now especially ones which were like this woman, but she stepped in front of her, 'I said hey.'

She winced as she saw the bloody face of the woman. Whatever happened to her, was bad.

The woman's blue eyes pierced into Vanya, but she stood her ground, 'Leave him alone.'

The other ghost watched her for a moment silent, and Vanya was sure she would start to talk again, but after a moment she looked away and then disappeared.

Vanya was confused. Could she do that as well? Disappear? If yes, where would she go?

'Hello?' asked Klaus the covers now lower so he was peaking into the room, 'Is anyone there?'

Vanya watched him. He could hear the woman, but maybe he couldn't see her. Somehow she was grateful that at least a little boy, he had some relief from those horrible looking ghosts.

'It's okay. She's gone now. You can sleep,' she said trying to sound as loud enough that he would hear her but quiet enough so she wouldn't scare him.

He looked around a bit before he smiled, 'Thanks, Miss.'

She smiled back at him, 'Goodnight, Kl-Number Four.'

'Goodnight, Miss,' he mumbled back before she saw him close his eyes exhaustion from the day and their night games finally taking over.

She watched his sleepy face for a moment. She forgot how little and sweet Klaus looked before it all. Before all the terrible ghost stole his innocence and drugs corrupted the rest.

For that night she stayed in his room, in case the creepy lady would come back. Oddly she felt a little bit better knowing she was at least a bit useful.

* * *

With the adding months Vanya learned a lot of things, she didn't remember. She knew most of the kids didn't remember their childhoods, but this was different, she knew all those little things were stolen from her by the pills and the abuse of their father.

Growing up after her powers were suppressed, she would give anything for their father to give as much attention to her as he was to her younger self, but now watching it all as a third person, Vanya wished nothing more than to take herself from Reginald pushed her into her arms and run away. In fact, Vanya wished she could take all her siblings and ran away with them from him, and never come back.

She almost wished she didn't have to watch as with every day, every new game, every new test she witnessed how their father ruined them and form into the traumatized people they were in the future.

Vanya felt sick as she watched him put Luther and Diego against each other, or force Ben to push the tentacles inside his stomach out, or Klaus look into the faces of some of the creepy ghosts who sometimes came attached to the objects Reginald brought. She wanted to hug Allison as he ordered her to rumor one of the test subjects to cut themselves or stand still for hours only to see how long her compulsion could last. She hated watching the exhaustion in Five's face as he had to jump over and over again until he was sick to his stomach and threw up in the gym. They were kids. Little kids, they were six. Why would he do that to them? Why?

However, she felt absolute rage and disgusted as she watched him cheer on her younger self as she was a little bit little breaking the glasses to his liking. He was a terrible man. She always knew so, but she was blinded by the simplest fact that she still viewed him as a father. They all did. He was the person who took them in and gave them meaning even if hers was to be ordinary. He was their father, but now seeing it as a viewer instead of a participant Vanya could see through the charade. He wasn't a good man. He was a bloody bastard, and she couldn't believe how much time she had wasted wanting his approval and love. He forced them to do all those things and for what? How could he let her and Ben kill all those nannies? Like it didn't matter? Like their lives didn't matter. They were kids, and they didn't know better, but he did, and he let it happen. Helped covered it all up, hide the bodies and hired a new one like it was a game, which nanny would survive the longest?

'Focus, Number Seven,' he said again making that noise as he hit one of the glasses which would have made the hair on the back of Vanya's skin stand up if she still had a body.

'No,' she found herself saying, 'stop it! She doesn't want to do that anymore! Her ears are hurting,' she said as she watched the little traces of blood run down her younger self's ear every time after the experiment. She was sensitive to sounds and with him purposely creating new ones with the glass, it was hurting her.

'Stop!' she snapped standing behind her younger self. She felt so upset at that moment. She just wanted all of those experiments to stop. She just wanted to stop him once and for all!

' _I don't want to anymore!'_

And just like that Number Seven started to break all the glasses until she broke the one in Reginald's hand scratching his eye in the process.

Vanya blinked a bit startled as well. Did her younger self also hated the tests and wanted them to stop as well?

'Number Seven, that is enough for today,' he said, but he didn't sound angry.

Vanya blinked as she watched in shock for the first time something on her father's face she never saw before.

_Fear_

That very day she followed her father and herself downstairs to the bunker. She tried not to hold it against Pogo as he closed the door on her before her father left with him. She really did.

Vanya looked over at her younger self. If she could she would hug her and tell her it would be alright. Soon she would get out, but in truth, she had no idea of knowing how long she would stay there.

Feeling just as useless as she did every day since she time traveled with Five, she sat down on the ground and listen to her younger self sobs and cries as she started to beg dad to come back, or Grace, or Five or anyone. She only now realized she was left alone in the dark. It all came back to Vanya, not the memories, but the nightmares she then had when she was thirteen. Nightmares of being in the dark all alone and forgotten. No one cared. No one would come for her. No one would save her. No one...and she would be all alone in the dark like she was right now.

'Please, don't leave me here! I'm scared,' cried little Seven.

Vanya pressed her hands against her ears, but the noises of her cries couldn't be shut out. It felt like an eternity went by until the door finally opened and instead of a plate of food dad brought Allison and Grace with him.

'Just as we practiced Number Three,' he ordered and Allison looked at Vanya before she said.

' _I heard a rumour...'_

* * *

**20 years ago**

Ghost Vanya was sitting by the desk of her younger self listening to her read out loud a book Ben generously lent her. She couldn't help, but corrected her whenever she said pronounced the word incorrectly or said it before her, but since her younger self didn't hear it was more or less pointless.

Days, weeks, months went by. It was strange but sometimes it felt like it all happened too fast like Vanya was losing track. Maybe it was just the whole situation of being a ghost and not being able to talk or do anything.

Klaus finally saw her. It didn't go as well as she hoped so she started to hide away from him.

Seven was in the third chapter when Vanya heard the noise outside.

There was a car parked by the front door and Reginald was walking toward it with Klaus who was dressed in his uniform.

'It's a bit late for a night visit,' she said and looked at herself as she continued to read not even looking up from the book.

'It's close to bedtime,' she continued liking sometimes to talk out loud when all of the sudden her younger self said, 'It was a mystery and all mysteries deserved to be solved.'

Vanya smiled a bit, 'I agree.'

She walked outside. It was strange, but she had a bit of an attachment to Klaus. It might have been because he was the only one who could see her and other ghosts, but no matter in what room he was Vanya could sense him and appear inside it if she wanted to. It was much calmer than when she teleported with Five. No sickness or claustrophobe it was like she stepped through the doorway and appeared in another room. She often wondered if all ghosts could sense Klaus which caused them to seek him out so often. Not inside the house though, even with how many nannies and maids were killed inside they still seemed to avoid the house, maybe it really was haunted, but so bad no one wanted to be inside, not even the ghosts.

She was surprised when she found Dad in front of the large mausoleum who did it belonged to, and why was Reginald bringing Klaus here in the middle of the night? The man was obsessed with them sleeping every night by nine almost as much as he was by their powers.

She didn't like it. She walked closer to it but keeping a distance since she knew she scared Klaus a bit too. All ghosts scared Klaus by that age. Then again, she didn't blame him. She couldn't see herself in the mirror but she noticed her clothes were dusty from the explosion and caught the dry blood in her hair probably from the shot into the head. She couldn't be too nice to look at. Maybe not as bad as the man with the ax wound from last month, but still bad enough.

As she walked inside only to step back at the hearing Klaus cry in agony. At first, she thought he was physically hurt until she saw all those ghosts walking around trying to talk to him or touch him crowding him.

'Hey, leave him alone!' she called out and tried to run past them. Some were even scarier looking than the man with the ax.

'Get away from him!' she waved her hands at them to try and get them to step back, but they kept on blocking her way and Klaus was crying so hard it hurt something inside her, not her body of course not, but her soul. It hurt to hear him cry like that all terrified and panicked and scared and everything between.

When one particular ghost of a man stepped in front of her and screamed into her face like he was trying to scare her, she lost it. She felt pissed off. She always forgot how it felt to be so angry with someone. Not to hate them the way she did dad now but to genuinely be pissed off at someone.

She ran in front of the ghosts and screamed, 'GET OUT!'

All of a sudden the door opened with a strong wind. Vanya didn't feel the gathering of her powers inside her the way she used to when she was alive, but the wind felt all too familiar to be mistaken for something else.

'OUT!' she shouted and it was like a wave of something ran through the ghosts and shattered them.

Her eyes widened. Did she really destroy them? But they were ghosts, dead, how could she have killed the dead?

The wind calmed down now, and she turned around only to find Klaus looking at her with shock, his cheeks were still wet but his eyes were no longer crying.

'Are you alright?' she asked feeling a bit awkward and unsure standing there.

Klaus watched her for a couple of moments before she noticed his breathing calmed down.

She took a few steps closer toward him. She knew she wouldn't be able to touch him so she just kneeled down in front of him making sure to keep some distance so he wouldn't feel crowded, 'They're gone now. Wherever they went they won't come back so soon.'

She hoped it gave him some comfort. She really wanted to hug him now.

Klaus looked at her again, and she half debated if she should leave too. She was really dirty and the wound. She remembered how freaked out he looked the first time, he saw her.

'Thank you,' he said suddenly and started to wipe the tears from his face.

'Come on, I will walk you home,' she said and stood up before Klaus reached out and tried to touch her.

'So you really are a ghost,' he said before he looked up at her, 'You're different.'

'I will take it as a compliment,' she said and nodded toward the open door, 'Come on.'

Walking through the streets with a little boy felt strange since Vanya knew to the people passing them boy he was walking all alone. She hoped no one would try and stop him or do something to him. If by some miracle it was her using her powers she wasn't looking forward too much found out if she could also use them on alive as well as dead.

Klaus skipped by her side close to her. Despite what happened, he didn't seem to be so shaken after he wiped away his tears.

'Do ghosts often fight?' he asked, and Vanya shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know. This was the first time.'

'Where did they go?'

'I don't know that either.'

'Did you kill them?'

'I hope not, but Kl-Number Four.'

It was strange to have someone to talk to. She wondered if that was why so many ghosts wouldn't leave Klaus alone. They wanted to be heard.

'You don't know a lot of things, Geisterfrau,' he said suddenly and Vanya shot him a look, 'Ghost lady? Don't call me that,' she whined a bit. That was a terrible nickname. Even dead she would like to think she had some standards.

'So what do I call you?' asked, and Vanya noted someone started to follow them.

She hoped the man wasn't planning anything shady with Klaus.

'Esther,' she blurred out the first name she could think off.

_Seriously? That was the first she could think of?_

Klaus chuckled, 'You don't look like an Esther.'

'Well, you don't look like Four so,' she watched as the man continued to follow them. She wondered if they would be able to make a run for it when luckily some people started to walk out of the near bar.

'Let's hurry,' she urged Klaus and they run the rest of the way to the Academy.

'Why were we running?' asked Klaus in a hushed voice as they walk the stairs to his room. Dad didn't even wait for him inside to make sure he got home safe. Vanya would at least think he would care somewhat for his investment if not for his children.

Klaus paused by the doorway and looked at her, 'Did you use to sit next to me and scare away the other ghosts? I could only hear you when I was little, right?'

She nodded after a moment of hesitation. What point was to lie about it now?

Klaus was left standing holding his door handle, 'Can you do that tonight too? They don't come often but sometimes they do, and all they do is shout things at me like that they're sorry or how much they hate someone. You're not like them. You seem nice.'

He smiled at her, and it was that precious ten-year-old smile she could clearly see older Klaus and his conning way to get whatever he wanted when he smiled at someone like that. Apparently, when it came to that smile she was just as helpless as the rest of the idiots who fell for his tricks.

'Okay, I will hold guard for you,' she said and followed Klaus to his room. He changed to his PJs and went to bed smiling at her brightly and waiting as she sat down at the end of his bed. How strange it was that she could sit on furniture but not actually touch anything? Shouldn't she fall down from it?

'Geisterfrau,' whispered Klaus, and she groaned, 'Don't-don't call me that, alright? Come on pick another name.'

'But it's a nickname. Nicknames are meant to be funny but also carry meaning. This one does,' argued Klaus, and she shook her head wondering how Ben dealt with Klaus for all these years. Then again Ben was dealing with a dysfunctional junkie. Vanya was dealing just with ten-year-old Klaus.

'Alright.'

He grinned at her, 'Goodnight, Geisterfrau.'

'Goodnight, Klaus. Sweet dreams.'

It was the first time, she ever stayed in Klaus's room since he first started to see her. She was worried about scaring him so she tended to hide away from him. Mostly sticking to her own room and past self. It was strange to watch herself. How little did a person actually remember or caught on when he was only a viewer of his life?

Growing up, after the pills came, Vanya used to think she was very observant of her siblings. She used to think she knew a lot of things about them even if they never let her fully in. She thought she was a good sister, a better sister than them somehow, but looking at Klaus's sleeping face she wasn't so sure now. She didn't know about dad locking him up in the mausoleum like that. She didn't know many things. She never knew about Five's problems to read. She noticed the other day how after Grace finished her speaking lessons with Diego, she had two hours of reading with Five. She herself had problems with reading words, but Five was barely managing through them. She never knew Luther used to pee himself or that Ben refused to talk for almost six months when they were nine. How could she forget those things? Maybe in her own way she was self-centered too. She always felt like she had it bad because she didn't belong, but she understood little of the trauma her own siblings went through.

Everyone always said how nice and kind she was but as she watched Klaus she couldn't help, but wonder just how much of a good person was she if she focused on her own trauma and sadness and didn't notice the others. She wondered a lot about that actually, especially when she thought about the apocalypse. Was it really just that she had this unstoppable power? Or was there something bad inside her which forced her to cause it every time?

Time went by different when you were a ghost incredibly fast and yet very slow. It was morning and Klaus woke up wishing her good morning before he had to go get dressed. She left him and walked around the busy corridor her eyes set on herself as she was trying to get to the bathroom without touching anyone in the way.

'Do you want to go first?' asked Allison as she was standing by the door first.

Her younger self shook her head embarrassed without a single word and Vanya couldn't help but wonder how much of the isolation she felt as a child was her own doing. Dad didn't help as he constantly reminded her how unimportant and ordinary she was how she didn't belong, but she also tried to pull away whenever someone showed interested in her. She remembered that first night Five offered to lay with her so she wouldn't have nightmares. She was quick to tell him it was fine, and she didn't want to burden him with herself. She always did that. She wanted to be involved but the moment they tried to involve her somehow something inside her something which had nothing to do with Dad, or her powers, or even the Umbrella Academy or them, just herself, pushed them away.

'Suit yourself,' said Allison and went inside while Vanya watched her younger self hold her towel closer to her chest and look down at her feet no doubt feeling upset at herself that she should have gone first because Allison would take ages to get out.

Maybe Vanya was always just one of those people who wanted to be involved but sabotaged every chance they got, destined to be alone.

As she remembered she was now a ghost who only Klaus could see stuck in her past, she couldn't help but think it was a spot on assumption.

She did kill herself instead of try and find a way to solve this all with Five and the others.

As if on cue past Five passed her and stopped before her past her. His hair was sticking to every direction, and Vanya allowed herself to smile knowing her younger self would have as well if she was brave enough.

'What?' he asked her younger self yawning, his eyes a bit sharp which caused her younger self to look away scared she offended him while whispering _Sorry._

Vanya really couldn't believe they went from _this_ to _I love you_ in just nineteen years. Or better yet they went from saying they were _married_ like it was nothing to _this_.

* * *

**17 years ago**

By that time Vanya was long passed the feeling of being intrusive, or pervy or weird as she walked around her siblings' rooms learning all their little secrets she hadn't before. She learned Diego liked to dance in secret. Luther might have opening turn on the music, but Diego claimed it was stupid, only when he locked himself in the room, he full-on broke his weird moves and Vanya couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked. She found out Ben read romantic novels by changing the covers with some boring books about Biology. She knew about Allison and Luther, everyone did, but the fact that all they did was sit upstairs and talk was a little bit disappointing. She often went to torture herself by watching her younger self and Five. Being the third person now she could a full-on look at Five's face and see and read all his reactions and expression knowing he probably started crushing on her the same way she started for him and at the same time.

Even if she didn't want to she felt a bit sad as now he looked exactly the way he did when he time traveled and the way he came back.

She wondered if she just wasn't torturing herself with that, but she couldn't not look. Being able to watch them at that age meant a lot to her. It was beautiful. They way they were together with one another, it hurt, but she found it beautiful all the same.

She met others at that time. Most of the ghosts she met were mindless often like a broken record talking about their deaths or saying the things they regretted about life. But there were others too. Ghosts like her who weren't consumed by their anger or damaged by the way they died.

'How come there aren't more of us?' she asked Dorothy and old woman who sit every day in the park on her old bench looking at her birds. Once the kids passed the age of seven Vanya lost the ability to tell time. She couldn't tell if a month or year went by just noting occasionally that everyone got bigger, but apart from that it was like the concept of time lost its meaning to her. Five would have been frustrated with that, no doubt.

'Because we aren't meant to stay here this long. We're meant to go further. Sooner or later those who stay end up just like the others consumed by their death, anger to what happened and cannot be done, not being able to let go of what their mistakes.'

She blinked at her, 'Further? To heaven or hell?'

'Maybe?' the other woman shrugged her shoulders, 'Those ghosts which stay they don't end well, Vanya. Something happens to them and sooner or later they bring their loved ones nothing but cold rooms and spaces left empty by their deaths.'

'Do you think I should go to the further?'

'You will,' said Rose and smiled at her. She died of a heart attack. As far as Vanya could tell she was the nicest looking ghost she ever saw. No wounds or blood. She looked almost alive.

'You're just taking your time,' she said as she looked somewhere in front of her, 'Just don't overstay your welcome, dear.' She then stood up and vanished and Vanya wondered if it was really that simple. Just decide you no longer wanted to stay and vanish somewhere away.

But she couldn't find herself to do it. She wasn't scared per say, but she felt like something was holding her back. Dorothy told her that was how old ghost felt like they had some business to finish or someone needed to stay, but in Vanya's case, it was more than just a feeling. She felt like it was destiny.

She knew about the apocalypse, Five's time travel, Ben's dead. She knew all those things. So why wouldn't she just stop them? Why not just tell Klaus and make him say them to others?

It proved to be easier said than done, as apparently eight, thirteen or twenty-nine, no one took Klaus seriously. She didn't exactly blame them.

Right now he was in Allison's room trying her lips sticks, 'What'cha think?'

He asked as she pushed his lips like he was about to kiss her.

'Who are you talking to?' asked Allison and showed him the hand mirror so he could look.

'Just my-'

She quickly shook her head at him. After a few times that she literally chased away or made other ghosts vanished, Reginald assumed Klaus could make ghosts appear and make them disappear at his will. It wouldn't exactly help if he knew that it was Klaus's ghost friend and not him, so Klaus had to keep her a secret.

'Uh, there's this really big hairy guy,' beamed Klaus and Vanya rolled her eyes.

'Super hairy,' he said and she chuckled before she walked away.

'Hey, wait up,' called Klaus after her and she turned around as he motioned for her to come to his room, 'Don't go yet.'

'I'm not going anywhere,' she grimaced, but Klaus looked a bit serious, 'Yes, you are like last time.'

'What do you mean? I haven't left the house for days,' she said, but Klaus shook his head, 'You did. You were gone for a week. Before that too. Don't you remember?'

This surprised Vanya as she honestly did not recall such events, 'I did?'

'Yeah, I also found you on the stairs one day, you were mumbling to yourself, do you remember that?' he asked sounding actually worried.

If Vanya still had a body she was sure she would feel chills now instead she looked away accepting what Klaus was saying, 'I've stayed here too long.'

'What?'

'My friend, Dorothy from the park. She's also like me, not violent or angry all the time. She said even if we're calm if we stay too long we can turn into that,' she looked at him, 'I think that's happening to me now. I'm losing myself.'

She looked at her hands wishing she could hold herself, 'Maybe I should leave before that happens.'

'No,' he said immediately.

Vanya smiled at him softly, 'Klaus-'

'No, I meant it. You're my ghost. You protect me from the others and you're my friend. You can't just leave me,' he said before he looked away.

She could see his whole body shaking with emotions before he said, 'Are you my... my mom?'

Her smile fell a bit. She could see the smallest piece of hope behind his bright eyes.

'Right now I wish I was when you look at me like that,' she confessed before she shook her head, 'but no. I'm sorry.'

He nodded sobering up a bit, 'I didn't really think you were. I just saw how you were always here always around, and it made me wonder if maybe you weren't you know? Maybe not my but maybe one of the others? You seem like you like us and want to keep us safe.'

She nodded and said honestly, 'I think you're good kids and you deserve someone to look out for you.'

Klaus smirked, 'Jeez, you sure you're not someone's mom? That was a very mom thing to say.'

She beamed at him before she stepped closer to him, 'Listen, I will try to stay as long as I can, but if I'm really losing myself there's something I need to tell you. I-I didn't want to at first. In fact, I hoped I wouldn't have to because you're so young and it's so big and heavy and messy,' she sighed knowing if she lost herself, there would be no one to warn Five and the others, 'Something really bad is going on. You probably don't know, but dad has been giving Vanya too many pills drugging her.'

'What?'

'Yes, but that's not as important as Five right now. Very soon, he will try to time travel, and he will get stuck in the future. In the future, there was the apocalypse-'

'Wait what?' asked Klaus shaking his head, 'The apocalypse and Five gets stuck? But he's Five. He jumps everywhere he wants it's not a big deal.'

'But this is _time travelling_. It's different harder, and he will get stuck and he will be all alone. You have to stop him-'

'Whoa, how do you even know all this? I mean I get the pills, but the future? What? How would you even know this?' he asked and Vanya noted that he stepped away looking at her differently now.

'Klaus-it's important,' she said again, 'Something really bad is going to happen and you're basically the only one who can stop it. You have to stop Five from time traveling.'

'How would I do that? And how do you know something bad will happen? Can you see the future or something? I...that's the crazy talk, right? You losing yourself?' he asked looking like he understood something and Vanya shook her head, 'No, it's not. It's real, Klaus.'

His face fell, 'Yes, it is. How could you know about the future? And Five time travelling and an _apocalypse_? That's crazy.'

She closed her eyes trying to gather her thoughts. She had to convince him. She just had to. Five would leave soon and everything would just turn on the way it-

'Besides, Five is just throwing one of his tantrums. He ran away, Vanya went after him so did dad and now he's just scared about the punishment so he's hiding-'

'What did you just say?' she asked horrified.

Klaus shrugged his shoulders, 'Five's hidin-'

'He already ran away? When?' she asked shocked. Did she miss it as well? How much did she miss from what was going around her in the past few days? She felt like time went by fast and slow like always since she was a ghost but maybe she missed things without noticing. Was that what happened when she lost herself?

The alarm for a mission went off, 'Great.'

Vanya went to stop Klaus as he rushed to his closet, but her hand was left in the air without touching his shoulder.

'Look, I'm sorry this is happening to you. I-I...If it's better for you to go, maybe you should go, I will miss you though. You're my friend.'

She shook her head seeing how sad Klaus looked. This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was meant to go. She thought she had more time. She thought she had another life. She couldn't burden them with the apocalypse when they were kids but did she waited too long and now it was too late.

Klaus ran out of the room, he told her something else but she didn't hear him. She tried to follow him only to found herself standing in her old room again during the night.

Vanya stopped in track and looked around. Her room was empty.

Very slowly she walked out of it and went to search the house. She found the rest of her siblings in their beds expect Five and herself. She searched the house easily enough until she found them inside the hospital room.

They were both lying on separated beds holding hands with at least six different machines attached to Five's body.

Vanya stepped closer. If there was a beating heart in her chest it would be beating like a drum now. She recognized the bruise on Five's face. It was the same one, the future Five had the last time she saw him.

_The same one_.

She spotted a pile of clothes on a nearby chair, no doubt Five's. They were a mess all covered in dirt and white dust from the collapsed bunker as were hers.

_This was the Five from the future._

She was sure of it. He had to time traveled just as the past Five did and took his place.

She let out a chuckled-cry if that was even possible before she collapsed to the ground. Even numb the realization that at least one version of herself would grow up with Five was too much for her soul.

She looked at the two of them calmly sleeping both in the bodies the same aged, both alive, both in the same place.

Not for the first time, she envied her past self the chance to be happy which Vanya was robbed off. Yet, she felt grateful. Grateful that there was a version that would be with Five, and that Five would still be with her, and be happy.

She rose her hand and even if she knew she couldn't really feel her, she touched her face.

'Experience it all for me, please,' she said to herself, but the moment she touched her skin she felt a bit of a static and her past self sat up woken up and confused.

Vanya blinked she tried to touch her hand, but she didn't feel anything.

_What happened?_

Did she imagine it?

Then the scariest thing happened, her past self rose her hand at one point and touched a spot on her head. The same spot Vanya had pressed a gun against and fired.

_Could she remember it?_

Vanya felt horrified.

_Could she feel it?_

* * *

**Now**

Time went by for ghost Vanya. There were moments when she was present and could think properly and see everything, but more and more there were those which were lost to her. It was often that she would realize she was in one room before and then be somewhere completely else.

She begged Klaus to tell her, if she was like the others bothering him, but he always said she just stood or sat by the stairs and mumbled something to herself. The best way Vanya could describe it was to say she had ghost dementia. She still had moments of clarity, but very far in between. It wasn't good. Vanya knew she was staying too long. She knew she should leave, but she couldn't. She found herself impossible to leave instead watching all her siblings, but especially her new self and past-new Five. It was strange. All their moments, all their experiences were new and unfamiliar and breathtaking for her. She wanted to see it all, or as much as she was allowed to.

She didn't envy herself anymore, she was cheering for her every step of the way, wanting nothing more than for them to be together. She supposed it was because of the fact there was nothing she could do about it anyway, but at the same time she would like to think it was because she loved Five enough to let him be alive and happy even if not with _her_. There was also another part of her which saw it for what it was like he was with _her_. She couldn't feel his hand on her shoulder, or his breathing against her cheek, or later his lips on hers, but it still felt like it was _her_. It still felt real, and ghost Vanya was in peace with that. She was happy for both herself and Five. She no longer looked at the other Vanya as Seven, past, or young, but simply saw her as Vanya.

Since future Five lost his memories of the past and future, he became just Five. Ghost Vanya was glad because she could tell if he was still past-future Five he only be burden by all his memories. This way he started fresh and clean, and this way he could be with Vanya. This way they were just perfect and right for each other.

She missed a lot of things. Because of her blackouts, or ghost dementia, she found out only too late about Vanya's powers manifesting and Five and Vanya cutting some sort of deal with someone called the Fixer. Given that she was present when he first appeared in front of Vanya when she was thirteen, ghost Vanya knew he was also the same man who was there when past Five time travelled her to the past. If she could still feel properly she would be anxious about what his plans were, but so far he has been very helpful. She felt better knowing Five didn't trust him though.

She wanted to tell them about Vanya's powers, but realized she didn't really know how and was worried it would only end with dad locking her up. She still didn't know how they found out about them or if the Fixer told them, but she was glad.

She passed over Five who was now in his room reading something. She didn't find it strange or bizarre to see a seventeen year old Five on the bed. She never got to see him grew up before, but it didn't feel weird. She was only glad.

There were science magazines and books all around him. His room was a bit messy for her taste. If she wasn't a ghost she would most likely start to lean it all.

As if on cue Vanya came into the room groaned at the items on the ground and started to pile them up while ghost Vanya watched with a fond smile.

One of the magazines caught her eye as it had _Astrotech_ written in large red letters in the title.

_Astrotech_

The name sounded familiar, but she couldn't remember where did she hear it.

'Hey, you don't have to do that,' said Five not looking up from his reading, but somehow still knowing what Vanya was doing.

'If I don't, you definitely won't,' argued Vanya before she kneeled down to start pulling books and magazines from under his bed.

Five marked the magazine before he looked over at her, 'Please stop. I can't watch you do this?'

'What?' she smiled at him, 'Ruin your little chaos?'

Ghost Vanya chuckled at Vanya's comment. It was true Five always argued he didn't have a mess just a perfectly organized chaos.

He rolled his eyes.

'Stop, come on,' he said and took a book from her hand, 'You're not the maid. You don't have to do this.'

Ghost Vanya looked at the magazine again instead of at the heart eyes Vanya and Five were giving each other.

'I know you don't think you're one of us, but you are. You don't have to wash dishes or clean after us,' said Five in the distance as ghost Vanya kneeled to the magazine reading the title over and over again.

'I know, but I don't mind helping mom. It makes me feel-'

'Useful?' asked Five, 'You are. So much.'

Ghost Vanya read it again.

_Astrotech_

Why was it so familiar? Why did she find it important?

Vanya giggled. 'There is nothing wrong with helping you guys.'

_Astrotech_

' _It's Ben. We had in Astrotech in city and it... it went wrong...'_

'But there is everything wrong with doing it for us-'

Ghost Vanya didn't hear the end of the conversation before she rushed out of the room to find Klaus. He was in his room rolling up a joint.

'Jesus Christ, Geisterfrau,' he said putting a hand against his chest, 'Warn a guy, will ya?'

'Something bad is going to happen to Ben-'

Klaus blinked stopping in his work again, 'Ben? What's going on? Dad again?'

Ghost Vanya shook her head, 'No, not dad, it's Ben! He's in danger. Something will happen in Astrotech soon and he will...he will...,' she couldn't say it.

'Something very bad will happen in Astrotech,' she tried again her voice calmer now.

Klaus blinked, 'Did you hear someone planning something against Ben there?'

'I-I no, but it will I...it's hard to explain, but I know it will.'

'How?' asked Klaus and ghost Vanya pressed her lips together. She couldn't say. She didn't want to tell him. She didn't want him to know she was his dead sister, and ask about the future where everything was a fucking mess and they were old strangers to each other and nothing good happened. That wasn't real. That wasn't the real future anymore.

Five stayed and everything was different. They were all nice to Vanya in this present. They were all family. Even if they were still the same they were somehow...different. Their eyes were lighter, still hopeful, still filled with something which dad didn't steal from them yet, which Five's disappearance didn't steal from them yet, which Ben's death didn't steal from them yet.

They still had time and hope to be saved and not ruined as they were in her future. Knowing what she knew was hard. Looking at her family like this and knowing how it could have ended was very hard, and as much as she loved her brother, she didn't think Klaus could handle it. Not now. Not this.

'I just know.'

He waved his hand at her face, 'Crazy talk again, Geisterfrau.'

She gritted her teeth before she stomped, 'It's not! I'm not crazy now! Ben is in danger and you're the only one who can keep him safe! Klaus, get off your ass and go tell him! Now!'

Sudden they heard a window nearby cracking and Klaus threw down the joint standing up, 'Alright, alright. Don't go all poltergeist on my ass. I will go look for him so you will see he's fine and happy. Jeez.'

They found Ben in the library, but no matter how much annoying ghost Vanya was Klaus didn't say anything to their brother who was confused by Klaus's behavior.

But ghost Vanya wouldn't let that discourage her. Soon there would be a mission in Astrotech, and she had one shot to save Ben through Klaus. She might not have been able to stop Five from time traveling or tell them about Vanya's powers, but she would fucking save Ben even if it would kill her, again.

'Jesus Christ, Geisterfrau, just leave me the hell alone!' shouted Klaus at her when he finally had enough before he kicked Vanya's door open.

He stormed in, 'Fuck, you guys see Ben?'

They shook their heads.

'What's wrong? Another ghost won't leave you alone?' asked Vanya worried.

'Meine Geisterfrau,' he sighed in German shooting ghost Vanya a look while she bit her lips. They didn't have time for this. Klaus needed to warn Ben.

'Ghost?' asked Vanya.

Klaus nodded, 'A female ghost really keeps on stalking me like some madman telling me something bad is going to happen to Ben. She fucking won't shut up about it.'

Well, that was a bit harsh. She had been helping him for a long time with ghosts too, and they were friends.

Five and Vanya shared a quick worried look, 'Why would she say that?'

'No idea. Ghosts usually just want to tell me about their deaths or shit, but this woman just walks around and watches usually. But now she's like possessed or something. Ben is in danger. Ben is in danger. Don't let him go to Astrotech. The hell is Astrotech?' he asked turning to her, but before she could answer, Five cut in, 'It's a technical facility downtown. They create equipment for NASA.'

She blinked before she realized it was his magazine so he must have read about it.

'There will be a mission there soon,' she told Klaus who was purposely now looking away.

'You will go, and something, I don't know what will go terribly wrong and Ben…Ben is going to get hurt badly.'

She said at the same time as Five who was explaining the company to Klaus and Vanya.

'The Company is rather small only seventy employees but they landed a huge contract last year and earned a good name in the business industry.'

'This isn't important! BEN-!'

Klaus glared at the woman, 'Geisterfrau, I swear to god shut the fuck up!'

'Can't you tell her to leave?' asked Five raising an eyebrow and ghost Vanya tried not to feel a bit hurt that he said that, 'I know you managed to make ghost leave you alone a few times over the last practices.'

Klaus got worried a bit. Truth was, he couldn't. It was all Vanya who in secret scared away every other ghost who was bothering him, but they couldn't say that.

He looked back at her. She thought he would be angry again or annoyed that he couldn't actually send her away, but instead he looked a bit softer as he said, 'Right...well this one is a bit more annoying today. Anyway, it's fine. I will just find Ben so she knows he's cool, and she'll settle down like always.'

Ghost Vanya gave him a pleading look, 'I'm just looking out for you guys, you know that.'

'Oh, so she's here a lot then?' asked Vanya interested.

Klaus shrugged his shoulders before he offered them both his cattish smile, 'Well, I won't hold you two any longer. Enjoy whatever it is that you were doing before.'

He nodded at the door and ghost Vanya quickly followed him out ignoring the embarrassing looks Klaus caused the other two to have.

Once in the hallway, she said, 'Didn't you notice Ben is acting weird?'

'Hard to notice anyone with you shouting in my ear like a lunatic, Geisterfrau,' he said offering a frustrated look.

It caused her to feel a bit bad. She never liked when people screamed either, 'I'm sorry, but it's really important. He's a bit down lately, isn't he?'

Klaus rolled his eyes, 'Ben is fine, alright? He looks a tiny bit tired, but that's fine. He's probably jerking off for too long at night.'

Ghost Vanya made a disgusted noise before she rushed with Klaus to Ben. He wasn't interested in talking too much today though.

'Hey, what'cha doing? Is it porn?' asked Klaus as he sat down next to him on the bed while Ben was reading.

'Reading and no,' said Ben sounding a bit different today.

Ghost Vanya moved closer, 'Ask him how he feels.'

Klaus let out a dramatic sigh but he put his hand over Ben's shoulder, 'How do you feel Benny boy? All good on your end?'

Ben blinked before he looked over at him, 'I'm fine.'

Klaus turned to ghost Vanya with an I told you so look, but she wasn't convinced. Could he know what was coming? Or was it a coincidence? She never did find out what happened that day in Astrotech. Anything could have gotten wrong.

Sometimes she heard something here and there, but never the whole story, and she was never brave enough to ask them. She knew Diego blamed Luther for pushing him too hard at one point, and Klaus's drug problems got worse after that.

Klaus walked passed her out of the room, while ghost Vanya continued to watch Ben read. She couldn't help but feel that something was different with her brother.

She sighed. If Klaus was no help, maybe there was someone else she could try.

She didn't approve it, but in fact, she realized whether she liked it or not Vanya was having dreams about her life, her future, the one which was now changed because Five stayed, she found out about her powers, the commission, and apocalypse. Yet, she had dreams about it all. Ghost Vanya's memories experiencing all she went through.

The first time she thought it was an accident based on the fact that ghost Vanya touched her. Maybe people and their dead version (if that even ever happened) weren't meant to touch when the alive one was asleep. She never did it again, but with time she realized the dreams continued regardless of if she did or not. Maybe it was her presence. The fact that she was in the same timeline as and alive and breathing Vanya caused her to have dreams. Either way, ghost Vanya wasn't too happy about the other Vanya having to suffer through them. Right now, however, she needed to cause another dream. If Klaus couldn't help, Vanya maybe could. Just like ghost Vanya in the future, this Vanya could be the hero.

She walked to her room at night. Luckily Five was there. It was rare that he wouldn't be, and ghost Vanya felt better seeing him and knowing it was the right thing to do now, as well as knowing he would be able to comfort Vanya after the dream. She was sure it wouldn't be a pleasant experience for her.

Ghost Vanya swallowed a bit before she let her fingers touch her hand. Almost immediately she stepped back as Vanya jerked. She had to watch as the girl had to go through the shock and pain of what she saw knocking the books of the shelf with her powers in the process.

She watched as Five took care of her being all supportive and gentle with her as he knew exactly how to handle it.

Once she told him all that happened according to ghost Vanya's memories, she left the room and went to Ben's knowing they would follow soon.

As she got inside, she found her brother lying on his bed, the bedroom window was opened.

She watched him listening to his breathing. It was a bit different like he was gasping for air a bit, but not panting.

She listened to it carefully before she heard Vanya and Five behind the door calling out to him and talking. He must have heard them as well.

By now she knew he wasn't asleep. His eyes were wide open and unfocused. He looked almost possessed.

She waited.

When Five teleported into the room, she wondered if he would come closer he would see the possessed look in Ben's face, but then Vanya caught the slightest of moments under his blanket.

Was that a tentacle?

She turned to Five now worried he would try to go closer and check, but luckily the boy just went to the window and closed the door before he teleported outside again. She heard both of them returning to her room.

Ben must have heard them as well because he stood up from the bed which caused Vanya to freeze. Even after being a ghost for thirteen years she froze at the sight of all Ben's tentacles out just moving around him as he walked to his window and opened it again.

Ghost Vanya didn't feel anything, but it wasn't hard to tell it was very cold in the room.

Ben returned to the bed and lied down the tentacles still moving around him with no intention of returning to his stomach.

She tried to walk closer and touch his hand, but she didn't feel anything and neither did he.

Once ghost Vanya was outside it was morning again. At first, she thought she was too late again, but then the door opened and Ben walked out of his room looking tired and very much like he wasn't fully there.

She rushed to Klaus's room.

'Good morning,' said the boy as he was working on his tie, 'Do you think dad could let me try another color?'

'Klaus, you need to tell dad something is wrong with Ben,' she said without greeting him back.

'Dad? What? No, no, no, dear,' he shook his head, 'I'm not doing that anymore. Ben is fine. You need to chill already.'

'Klaus, Ben is very much not fine. I think he's losing control over his powers and they are possessing him. He's in danger. Something very bad will happen in Astrotech and you're the only person to stop it, so please, please, tell dad about it. He can help. In fact, I think he's the only one who can help, right now.'

'Esther, that's enough,' he said and she was confused because it was almost a decade since she told him her fake name.

'Ben is fine. Nothing bad will happen because we're not going to Astrotech or whatever. It's all just crazy thought in your head from being here too long! You probably passed Five's room when he was reading it and it all mixed in your ghost airbag head.'

She watched him for a moment knowing he didn't believe her anymore, so she had no other choice but to say what she said next, 'Klaus, if you don't tell dad, Ben will die in Astrotech.'

He looked at her, and she could see the venom in his eyes knowing at that moment he probably hated her for saying it. For bullying him into deciding if he would believe her and maybe look like an idiot in front of dad or not believe her and risk even the tiniest chance that something was wrong with Ben and what she said was true. He stood up and started to walk to the hallway.

She followed him close behind. He didn't say anything, but based on his direction she knew he went to dad's office. She could only hope dad would have enough sense to stop it, to stop Ben. Then again, that would most likely be too much to ask when she thought about it in retrospective.

Ghost Vanya stood behind Klaus nodding her head as he gave her a brief look before he knocked on dad's door, 'Come on.'

She could tell Klaus did not want to go to dad's office. No one ever wanted to talk with dad if they didn't have to, but she could also tell if Klaus even for a second thought she could be right. He couldn't just let it happen.'

'Number Four, do you need something?' asked dad sitting behind his desk as usual probably writing or working on something while Klaus slowly walked closer.

'I think there is something wrong with Ben,' started Klaus, 'He hasn't been acting like himself and maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea if you maybe check him out?'

Dad continued to write whatever he was writing without looking up, 'I think Number Six is completely fine, Number Four. You have nothing to worry about. Dismissed.'

Klaus turned toward her all panicked. She bit her lip knowing it wouldn't give her any sensation before she spoke, 'Tell him about me.'

His eyes widened for a moment. She knew he didn't want to.

'Is there anything else, Number Four?'

'I…yeah,' he turned back to dad, 'There is this…uh, a ghost lady, and she's pretty convinced Ben will die in a mission today. She's very sure about it,' he turned back to her, and she feverishly nodded, 'Yes. Go on.'

Dad continued to write, 'As you know, Number Four, the dead souls are often confused by their new state. They often do not make sense or what they say can be interpreted poorly if they die in a very traumatizing way.'

Klaus looked a bit away, 'There is not much to misinterpret with her saying Ben will die in a mission in Astrotech, Sir.'

Finally, dad stopped writing and looked up at him, 'Number Four, ghosts cannot predict the future.'

'I know,' said Klaus.

'And they cannot see who will die and when.'

'I know, but this one is so sure-'

'Number Four,' cut in their father and Vanya swallowed recognizing the cold voice immediately. If she still had a body she would have chills now, she was sure Klaus already had them,

'I suggest you stop listening to the ghost and better yet sent her away. She is only clouding your mind with unnecessary ideas and delusions. Number Six is perfectly fine. Better than ever actually,' he said, 'He finally got to his fullest potential. Something you should be doing as well-'

'Wait,' said Vanya frowning, 'Why would he say that? Did he experiment on him again?'

Klaus blinked and said, 'What do you mean the fullest potential? I thought he was pretty full of the tentacles in his stomach already.'

His father narrowed his eyes at him but didn't comment on it only nodded, 'Dismissed Number Four.'

Klaus frowned now, 'You did something, didn't you? Like before? Something's wrong with Ben and it's because you did something, right? Another test or experiment went too far?'

'Number Four,' said their father as cold as ever, 'I suggest you mind your own business. It wouldn't hurt you to work a bit harder on your powers not just slacking off.'

'What did you do, dad?'

The man watched him for a moment.

'Number Four, you're my greatest disappointment,' said dad and ghost Vanya shook her head immediately. 'Don't listen to him, please, Klaus. Listen to me, alright? He's just trying to tear you don't because you're on something. Please, Klaus.'

'Your brothers and sister all understand the possibilities of their powers and what it means to have a power at all. They all at least try to become better, but all you do is giving away every single opportunity your way. I shouldn't be surprised.'

'Klaus, don't listen to him, please!' said Vanya as she rushed in front of him trying to block Klaus's view. His face was unreadable now.

'Since an early age, I could see that you were destined for failure both in the Academy and in life. I thought so then and I believe now as well, you will not achieve anything at all. You lack the discipline and because of that you will always be a failure.'

'Don't listen to him!'

Finally, dad stopped talking, and Klaus was left sitting on the chair without a single movement. If Vanya didn't know better she would think he was barely breathing.

'Again, dismissed,' said dad, and Klaus stood up without a word walking away. He went back to his room with ghost Vanya hot on his heels without saying a single word.

'Please, don't make him get into your head. He just said it to mess with you because you were right,' she said as she sat down on his bed where he lied down.

'Klaus?'

'Please shut up for a moment,' he told her and for once ghost Vanya listened and stayed quiet. She never used to be this persuasive when she was alive. When she was alive she would just try once and if he didn't believe her, she would lock herself inside, and let it go. Maybe it was being dead. You lost all sorts of worries and anxieties. The things which hold you back. Maybe there was peace after death after all.

Mom came to announce breakfast was ready and ghost Vanya still stayed quiet until she noticed Ben looking absently at the breakfast table and Vanya and Five actually looking at him worried.

She nodded to herself, 'Tell Five and Vanya. They will listen to you and maybe they can do something. Please, Klaus, I really mean it.'

Klaus didn't say anything just continued to chew. It was the first time he full-on ignored her.

Ghost Vanya closed her eyes, 'Klaus, please, I really need you to tell Five and Vanya or Ben will die. Do you really want it to be your fault?'

She knew she crossed the line with that, and it was confirmed when Klaus all of the sudden punched the table startling everyone, 'God, damn it, just leave me alone already!'

'The hell man?' asked Diego annoyed as Klaus pointed at her, 'I fucking wish for you to leave me alone already!'

She swallowed hard even if she didn't have what to swallow as Klaus stood up and rushed away from the table. She didn't follow him. She just stood there watching him go before she looked at Ben who was the only one not shaken by their brother's outburst.

Luckily Vanya did stand up from her seat no doubt to go check on him so at least someone would be there for him.

Ghost Vanya got closer to Ben who now blinked confused and turned to Klaus's seat maybe only now noticing his absence.

She looked over to Five. He looked like he wanted to talk with him, she could see it in his eyes, but before he could the alarm for a mission went off signaling them to go.

* * *

'Number Five have you forgotten the goal of your mission? To free the hostages and stop the robbers? Or do you need me to draw you a full-on picture in sequences to know what to do?' asked Hargreeves through an open window while Vanya was holding onto Klaus who was clearly high out of his mind while ghost Vanya was trying to talk to him. She knew it was no use, once Klaus was high or too drunk was the only time his powers were messed up enough that he couldn't see them still as she realized what was written on the building in big letters she didn't stop trying.

'Tell Five, Klaus. Tell him about what I said, please,' she urged him as Five left them now.

'Shit!' she cursed knowing she couldn't stop him, 'Klaus, please, maybe you can hear me. You have to tell them. Please, Klaus.'

She leaned closer to him right next to his ear, 'Klaus?'

'Y-yeah?' he asked his voice was weak.

Vanya looked over him, and ghost Vanya continued, 'Tell Vanya what I told you before, remember?'

'Remember, what?' asked Klaus slowly like he was coming from a dream and ghost Vanya continued, 'tell her that Ben will lose control over his powers.'

'Powers,' repeated Klaus his head falling to the side.

'Don't fall asleep yet!' she shouted causing him to jerk a bit, 'Ben, will…'

'Ben… will…,' repeated Klaus and Vanya who was sitting next to him leaned closer to hear him better.

'Lose control…,' continued ghost Vanya and Klaus repeated.

'Over his powers.'

Vanya next to them gasped, 'God.'

She turned to dad, but his eyes stayed fixed on the building, 'Do not listen to his nonsense, Number Seven. Number Four's madness doesn't need to spread.'

Ghost Vanya would have punched him if she could, 'Tell her to go!'

'Go,' said Klaus and it was all the encouragement Vanya needed as she got out of the car ignoring their father's shouts for her.

'You did good, Klaus. You did great,' she told her brother trying to brush his hair even if she couldn't.

'Okay, thanks,' mumbled the boy and she quickly got out following her other-self.

Once she finally got there all she found was chaos as Ben's tentacles were flying all around him damaging the lab with Ben kneeling on the ground without any sign he was present in his mind. The others were trying to get to him but with little luck.

She saw Vanya on the ground and Five slowly getting up no doubt debating what to do next. All was happening so fast and yet ghost Vanya felt like she was inside a slow-motion movie before all of the sudden Five finally teleported and punched Ben knocking him out.

In the next moment, the large explosion blew up the roof causing all of it to fall down them blocking even ghost Vanya's view.

She slowly started to walk around the ruins, she could see Luther helping Vanya up, Diego and Allison getting to Ben and Five, but her eyes caught something else, someone else.

She saw Five standing there looking at his hands, and she knew. She knew as she remembered how she felt the first time she woke up like that.

_Five was dead._

'Five, what did you do?' she asked.

As his head snapped toward her, she realized she was right, and he heard her. She felt like crying even though she knew ghosts didn't cry. In was years since she felt as heartbroken as she did at that moment knowing Five was there too, Five died as well. The last time was when she realized he saw her die, and time-traveled to save her.

This wasn't how she wanted it. This was never how she wanted it. She wanted him to be happy, living a life with a new version of her. She wanted them both to be alive and together. Not like this! Never like this! Even in her most lonely and selfish moments did she want him dead like her feeling numb all over and losing himself in the madness of being a ghost.

_This! Was not what she wanted!_

There were traces of blood coming from his mouth. What happened? Did the roof crush him?

She was tempted to leave. She didn't want to see him like this, and she didn't want him to see her and recognize her.

' _Vanya…,'_ he said her name with so many emotions Vanya knew in that moment he remembered all of it. He finally got his memories back, and their weight crushed him. She could see it in his eyes. She wished she could make him forget. She wished he wouldn't remember anything and stay happy and oblivious to the pain they went through.

He closed his eyes before he fell down to his knees.

'What have we done?' he asked her. And she couldn't help but gave him a painful look before she was on her knees in front of him her hand on his face. They couldn't feel each other. Did she think by some miracle they would? Because he was Five and she was Vanya? Because they were destined? Because they were meant to be? Meant to always be together and then apart until one of them would die?

No, why should they have an exception? Ghosts couldn't touch anything or anyone.

'A tragedy, Five. Just like we always do.'

_Maybe in another universe, we could be happy._

_But not in this one._

_No, not in this one._

Vanya looked at him smiling a little bit, 'You're such an idiot. You should have teleported away.'

He snapped his head up giving her a sharp look the sadness was still there but now she could recognize anger too, 'You're calling _me_ an idiot. _You?_ '

Five growled at her, 'You shot yourself! In the head!'

His fingers went to touch her wound, 'Who does that? Who says they would fucking leave with someone and live in a cabin and then off themselves?'

She bit her lips, but there was no pain to cover up for the one he just caused by saying that. Did he really think he had a right to be angry at her?

'I did what was right. You know we wouldn't have stopped it any other way-'

'We don't know that!' he snapped and stood up, 'You took that chance from the both of us-'

'It was my choice-'

'Maybe it wasn't yours to make,' he said and turned his back to her, 'You fucking killed yourself and let me found you on the ground. Do you even realize what I felt?'

She knew what he felt. She watched him. She saw him and she regretted it instantly, but she had to do it, or it would never stop.

Ghost Vanya stood up as well, 'I'm sorry but it was what I thought was right at the time. The Handler…she said it would always end with me causing the apocalypse, and you saw how reckless my powers were. Those people did not come in peace. It was a suicide mission for them as well to cause me to lose control and I don't know _end the world_!'

Five turned around, 'Maybe I would have stopped it, stopped you, stopped the Commission and the Handler and everything. Maybe I could have, but we will never know because you ran like a freaking coward. You ran from everything including me when you took that shot.'

Ghost Vanya was left standing there without anything to say for a while before she said, 'It's okay if you're angry with me-'

' _Oh, it's okay? Really?'_ asked Five sarcastically before she continued, 'But I did what I thought I had to to save you all, to save the world. You're the one who time-traveled back-'

'Only to save _you_!'

'And you did,' she nodded and then turned toward the alive Vanya who rushed with Luther to where they uncovered Five and Ben.

'You saved me,' she said, but Five shook his head looking away from the image of Vanya and the others trying to wake him and Ben up.

If Ben wasn't there it meant he survived. It meant there was some good in all this.

'You're a ghost. Dead. How the fuck could I have saved you?' he snapped at her his voice revealing all the anger he must have felt.

She stepped closer, 'But I'm alive as well-'

Five looked at her his eyes softer now and Vanya continued, 'She's not a different version of me or someone else. She's me. She's all of me. The good stuff and bad. I see it. I see myself. I don't see her as someone else. As past Vanya or younger Vanya anymore. Just as Vanya. Just like me.'

Five watched her, his eyes in a storm of emotions before he shook his head and turned to her fully, 'It's not the same.'

'Why?'

'You're dead and she's not. She's living the life you never had-'

'But that's doesn't make her someone else. She's still me. You love me,' she said, but Five didn't seem the get it the way she did.

She sighed a bit and got closer to him, 'Five, but I'm me. She's me. We're Vanya.'

'But she's not the woman who I fell in love in those eight days,' he argued and Vanya put her hand against his cheek even if there was no feeling somewhere in her memory she still remembered how soft his skin was when she was waking up next to him.

'She is. Even those memories aren't there, well not all of them. She's still Vanya. She's still me. You didn't feel in love with an eight-day woman. You fell in love with a twenty-nine-year-old woman, and those seventeen years are all inside her just as they are in me. We're the same. You fell in love with who I am, and I'm her, and she's me. I see it. The things she does, those are exactly the things I would have done. The way she talks and what she says it's exactly what I say out loud too. She's every bit of me and I'm of her.'

He kept on looking into her eyes. It was different as he was so tall now. She never got to look into his eyes like that.

'I love you,' he said and she smiled brightly before she said, 'I love you too.' She remembered how much she wished for a second to be able to say it to his face, for him to hear her.

Her smile fell a bit, 'I never wanted for you to be here with me. Not like this.'

He nodded, 'I know. I know you,' he pressed their foreheads somewhat together, 'How are you here? How are you in 2006? You should...you shouldn't even exist if I changed it, or did I not?'

She shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know. You time traveled and I was with you in '93 I think. Dates a bit hard for ghosts. Then you left and I just stayed behind. I can't explain it really. Maybe the afterlife works a bit different than science. I should have gone further a long time ago, but I wanted to stay, to see you all, to help, but I'm getting lost and confused the way all ghosts are.'

'Come on, Five, please,' they both heard and turned to look at a crying Vanya who was holding onto Five's hand as Diego was giving him CPR.

'It's too late,' mumbled Five close to her.

Ghost Vanya looked at herself. She was crying. Tears running down her eyes as she was holding onto Five's hand.

Dying was easy. Not the process of staying a ghost, but the process of dying was easy. For you, it was a moment, but for the people you left behind, it was a lifetime. She remembered Ben and she could tell how much she hurt Five. Now Vanya would feel the same? She would feel the agony of losing someone she loved? Of losing Five.

'At least you won't be alone now,' said Five, but it brought a little comfort to ghost Vanya.

'I never want this for you. I wanted you to be happy with me.'

'I was, and I will be,' he told her, but she couldn't take her eyes out of Vanya and Five's body on the ground.

'But I won't,' she said and watched as Vanya let out a choked sound and in the next moment she pressed her hand against Five's chest when Diego stopped.

'Vanya, what-'

And then there was something of a cracking sound and Five's body jerked.

Ghost Vanya looked next to her, but ghost Five was gone.

She blinked and rushed toward the scene in front of her only to find Five violently trashing as he was coughing while the others cried and laughed in relief.

'You're back,' said Vanya and leaned down kissing his forehead as Five opened his eyes.

He watched her in silence his face unreadable before his eyes shifted to the place he probably thought ghost Vanya stood.

Her tiny smile fell, and she shook her head knowing Five couldn't hear her, 'Don't.'

He kept on staring at the spot with pain in his eyes, and she knew it wasn't just from the wounds.

'Don't,' she repeated again.

'Five,' said Vanya, 'How do you feel?'

'Don't!' snapped ghost Vanya again as if somehow that would make Five looked away back at Vanya and not look so devastated like he wasn't happy he was alive. Like he wanted nothing more than to be dead again.

'Like I would rather be dead,' he said, and ghost Vanya let out a hysterical chuckle before she shook her head.

She could tell. She could tell from the way he spoke and his eyes. He didn't see it the way she did. He didn't see it like that at all. He didn't see that he was with Vanya, that she was Vanya, that they were both Vanya. He didn't understand it.

As Vanya pressed her head against his shoulder and his eyes stayed fixed on the spot he knew ghost Vanya was standing, she knew that the tragedy of their love was only beginning.

If she still had her powers working how they should she would feel a massive bubble gathering inside her before it would explode from all those emotions she was feeling right then as she screamed lout enough that Klaus outside could hear her, _'Don't!'_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Sorry it took so long, but this chapter was very long already and I didn’t want to cut it in half so here it is. Hope it wasn’t boring. Thank you very much for your constant support and reading the story. Thank you for telling me about the pain I inflicted upon you with my work. It’s always good to know you have an impact even if you’re ruining people’s lives.   
> Just things which I did not have time to add or didn’t know how to add because ghost Vanya didn’t know about them. The reason why she felt Five and managed to time travel was because of Klaus’s powers the same way he could use them on Ben. Also, ghost Vanya did not know that dad tried to lock Vanya up again because the Fixer brought Five and Vanya back in time but not ghost Vanya.   
> If you want to leave some feedback if not it’s fine. Have a nice day and until next time.


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